Landing a TEDx Talk: Colette Fehr on Resilience, Rejection, and Speaking Success

Welcome to another episode of My First Stage: the podcast where experienced public speakers share how they got booked on stages and how those moments shaped their business and impact. This week, I had the honor of sitting down with Colette Fehr—a licensed psychotherapist, nationally recognized relationship expert, author, podcast host, and, as of last year, an official TEDx speaker. Colette’s journey to the TEDx stage was anything but easy, and her story is packed with lessons every aspiring speaker needs to hear. Colette recently released her book, "The Cost of Quiet," which dives deep into the power of communication in relationships—a theme she brings to life on stage and in her TEDx talk. As someone who’s faced tough rejections, conquered nerves, and delivered a talk through unexpected tech disasters, Colette’s first stage story is the ultimate blueprint for perseverance, growth, and authentic connection. What We Talked About Colette’s Long Road to TEDx: How she researched, applied, and got rejected by multiple events—only to finally land her TEDx moment after countless setbacks. The Inside Scoop on TEDx Applications: Why every event operates differently, how to track applications, and the role connections play in your pitch (and how Colette made hers stand out). Handling Rejection and Failure: Colette gets real about how rejection hurts—even when you know it’s part of the growth process—and why talking about it is so important for speakers. Surviving Stage Nightmares: The story of getting yanked off stage, a broken mic, and completely out-of-sync slides (with a backstage intern moving them wildly out of order)—only to deliver a performance that became a TED Editor’s Pick. Collaboration and Feedback: How working with others—including myself, acting coaches, and trusted friends—helped Colette shape her talk and tell her story with more impact. The Real Impact of TEDx: Colette reveals how the TEDx credential is helping her book more paid gigs, boost her speaking fees, and build credibility—even if nothing “tangible” came immediately. Advice for New Speakers: Why you need to start speaking anywhere and everywhere, practice “exposure therapy,” seek mentorship, and always get outside feedback. [embed]https://youtu.be/LuwO11yzzec[/embed] If Colette’s journey inspired you, here’s what you can do next: Connect with Colette – Check out her book, "The Cost of Quiet," here or at bookstores everywhere. Dive into her weekly Substack for free advice on speaking, growth, and relationships at secretsfromatherapist.substack.com, and follow @colettejanefehr on Instagram. Watch Colette’s TEDx Talk – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tSUOB2yEd0 Reach Out – If you want to be featured or have your own first stage story, visit myfirststagepodcast.com and let’s connect! Thanks so much for listening. Can’t wait to bring you another behind-the-scenes first stage story next week on My First Stage! Timestamped Summaries [00:00-01:19] – I introduce Colette and her impressive credentials, including her new book and TEDx achievement. [01:19-02:57] – Colette shares the hard truth about TEDx applications: rejection, research, and why failure is part of the process (even for seasoned speakers). [04:05-06:25] – The nitty-gritty of TEDx applications: unique processes, tracking deadlines, leveraging connections, and customizing every pitch—for places like Tulane, New York, Kentucky, and Florida (and, yes, getting rejected by all). [07:16-13:14] – Colette recounts finally landing her TEDx talk after dozens of tries, preparing for the performance, working with collaborators, and the nightmare on stage: broken mic, failed slides, and a backstage rescue that nearly sabotaged her Editor’s Pick debut. [13:51-15:21] – What a TED Editor’s Pick is, how long it took for her talk to go live, and the surprising view count on YouTube. [15:21-17:39] – Using TEDx as a platform: how it’s helping Colette build her speaking business, raise her fees, and establish credibility, plus the importance of outside feedback and collaboration. [20:30-22:13] – Colette’s actionable advice for aspiring speakers: start anywhere, practice relentlessly, seek mentorship, and don’t work alone—collaboration is key. [22:13-24:40] – Exposure therapy, Toastmasters, mentorship, and critical feedback as the foundation for speaker growth. [24:48-25:47] – Where to find Colette: her book, website, Instagram, and her rapidly growing Substack (“Secrets from a Therapist”), plus her commitment to share free resources every week.