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IPSAPANTI IPSAPANTI Yup. What is that from? Where did you learn that? I was informed tonight that...
That I guess was like... There was an underwear factory here at one point. Manufacturing event undies. Panties.
Ipsapanti. It wasn't called Ipsapanti. Well, I guess maybe that was like a nickname? Oh.
For Ipsalanti? We are in Ipsalanti, Michigan. Michigan. I wanted to say Ipsalanti.
I was... Because there's a Y at the beginning of the name. Ipsalanti is pretty cute. I have to say.
I kind of want to keep calling it Ipsalanti because Yip is just funny. But it's Ip... Ipsalanti. Ipsalanti.
Ipsi. Why didn't we look it up on Wikipedia before we started this podcast? I feel like Ipsalanti is just a town full of surprises. I was also informed that their water tower looks like a penis.
Yeah, I wanted to see it. Same. I feel like I've seen it before. Yeah, a penis water tower.
Well, you know. As I like to inform almost everyone that I came into contact with this evening, I grew up in southern Michigan. In case you weren't at the show tonight, everyone who was at the show tonight was informed. Liberally informed.
Liberally, heavily slathered. The butter was spread real thick. Lou grew up in Jackson, Michigan. And now everyone who was there tonight, they know.
They know. They practically know like the color of your bedroom walls. You were very... You're connecting to Jackson a lot tonight.
I don't remember details like that. Well, you were like, and we had the train tracks in our backyard and across this field in the high school. So you were giving details. I was.
I can't remember colors very well. Do you remember your bedroom? Yes. Yeah.
It was scary because the door to the attic was in my bedroom. Oh, funny. I remember this very... I have a very distinct memory of thinking that an enormous, like human size wasp was descending the stairs from the attic and would come into my room and just stick its stinger into my abdomen.
Oh my God. Like I would have this enormous wasp. Oh. Because I mean, the stairs are mysterious.
Oh, yes they are. Yes. And I put a little box that I put at the bottom of the attic stairs. So we didn't go to the attic very much.
And I certainly didn't because it was hot up there and weird. But I had a little box that I cut out pictures from magazines and I put them in this little secret box of mine. Oh. Hey.
I actually knew what I did. I had pictures of panties. You did. I did.
Well, your little dirty mine. Yeah. Panty pictures. My panty pictures and a little box at the bottom of the attic stairs.
Gosh. And of course my parents found it when we had to discuss it. What's there to discuss? I mean, it's just panties.
I don't know. I don't know. Thankfully I don't remember how we discussed it because I guess it wasn't traumatic. You know what I mean?
They didn't come down on me like a ton of bricks. A ton of Catholic bricks on me. You know, they're like, oh he's already going to church. They're already doing all the work.
They're doing all the dirty work on him. They're gilting him heavily. We don't have to really go through with that. The Catholic Church is really problematic.
I'm just going to be the first to say it. Wow. Okay. That's something I think about when I leave.
Tell Barlow first to declare the Catholic Church. That's problematic. When I lived in Michigan, we went to church every Sunday. I went to Catechism classes.
And then we moved to Massachusetts. And there was an effort. My parents did try to get us to go to church on Sundays in Massachusetts, but they couldn't really kind of follow through with it. I remember.
Which is fine. It was great. I can actually do something on Saturdays and Sundays. I took up the whole weekend.
That's a lot. The whole Catholic thing. It's a big commitment of your time. It was a lot of time.
I didn't grow up going to church. Yeah, your parents were beatnicks. Yeah. They didn't do that thing.
They were like, hey, you want to find God? You figured that out. I was like, okay. You did.
I did. I figured it out. What it is. I don't know if I'll tell you.
It's Sunday. It's my secret. I kind of think people should sort of keep those kind of things to themselves to degree. Well, then I'll keep it to myself.
You just have to wonder what my secret is. My relationship with God. Without God. Who knows?
Jesus Christ. Judas Priest. Judas Priest. Judas Priest Mark.
Oh, my gosh. Christ in a cracker. My friends. Mother would say.
What I was going to say is the few times. I think I shared that story tonight too. Sorry. Christ.
Christ on a slathered butter cracker. I'm going off about my childhood in my childhood in southern Michigan. Again, I can't shut up about it. You're jerking off, Brad.
It was a mass-master but torrey. A mass-to-batory Michigan talk. Oh, my God. I did not learn how to masturbate in Michigan.
That I know. I did. I would say you did. No, I'm Michigan.
No, Massachusetts. I started masturbating in Massachusetts. Oh, my God. I really hope your family has turned off this episode already.
The first three letters in Massachusetts. Sorry, you're sorry. Check this out. Mass-turbation.
Mass-t-juicits. I didn't learn to masturbate until I got to Massachusetts. Can I just tell you one thing? Yes.
I only got to go to a Catholic church a few times growing up because my dad was raised Catholic and in Minneapolis and he went to De La Salle High School and shout out De La Salle. Shout out. So you went to a Catholic High School? Yeah.
Those were like private schools back then. Yeah, I guess I have no idea. They were. Maybe it was.
I don't know. My dad. My dad got accepted into a Catholic High School because he and his brothers were very good athletes. There was nuns involved.
Oh, okay. I know that. But so all my dad's siblings are still practicing Catholics except for my dad. And he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a Lutheran.
Anywho. He's a cool guy. He's a cool guy. He's a cool guy.
He's a cool guy. He's a little. He dragged me to, I think it was called Assumption Church in St. Paul.
Dragged? Dragged? I guess I was dragged. I mean I had to go.
I mean, I had to go to somebody's confirmation. Somebody's some kind of ritual. Holy cow, they were boring though. That's, that's my big point.
All right. They were really boring. Catholic Church was boring. Yeah.
It was a kid. It was for me. Nine minutes. I had to go to Catholic Church.
I mean it was a movie. It was like watching a movie. Jesus Christ. Why is everyone gray?
Kneeling. Sitting, kneeling, standing. Yeah. And then that part where you have to do the whole piece be with you.
You have to like shake hands with all the people standing right. You like that part. That's my favorite part. Really?
I feel like you're kind of channeling him on this tour. You're pulling in your little piece be with you. Social butterfly. Yeah.
I like it. Yeah. It's good to see you like that because you know at home you're not, I mean you just got me to talk to. I am right up my own ass at home.
Deep in your butthole. Deep. Deep in my own house. You do spend a lot of time thinking about your ass at home like okay how many times have I shit.
How have I had all my morning sheds? Whoops. Sorry. Did I do that?
Let's go back to the shows. That was unfair. I don't think that much about my ass. Sorry.
No. That's fine. I have no problem with that. I mean I do feel like you think about your ass a lot.
I think about my ass from the time that I wake up until I'm fully emptied. Exactly. So yeah. I don't think about my ass after that.
Okay. So is that like nine a.m. And then you switch over to my ass. Yes.
Yep. It is about it. It is. It's ass all day.
No. Yeah. The four or five. Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh. Poor, poor family. I don't think they're listening to our podcast. Maybe they stopped listening.
Yeah. I think we're finally free I think. No. I'm going to get a text from Abby that's like, oh God.
I heard you talk about your butt. Abby's fine. She can handle it. Her parents were hanging in there.
They were there to support us for the first six months. That's a lot. I've been looking forward to this time. This is like this is the frontier.
This is like we've like reached the end. We haven't lost them. They're listening right now. No.
We are all. We are all. We are all. We are all listening right now.
We are all listening right now. Your mom is listening right now. I live with you. I'm leaving at you virtually.
We're sailing. We're sailing. Sorry. We're talking about our butts.
Okay. So let's go back to your show because let's talk about your father and not butts. Okay. So just I think that you're kind of channeling some of your dad and you're kind of like going, all right.
I'm going to pull out kind of my confident party suit and put it on and sort of your stage where because in your real day to day life, you're a little more shy. I would say not super shy, but kind of. I've been talking to cashiers. cashiers.
You're getting better. I just mean that you're now. Are you? Oh, yeah.
It's a full time now. You know what's really cool? I just feel like I'm a sager really. The longer my hair gets.
Yes. The nicer people aren't to me. Really? Yeah.
I get I get friendly looks from like almost everybody. I thought you were gonna say the longer my hair gets the more social I become. Maybe it's a little of both. Maybe it's a little of both.
It's true. You're really leaning into this long hair now. I cannot cut my hair. We were gonna cut it.
We were gonna make a video. We're gonna do a whole video. Because I did the cover of the pavement song. Cut your hair and we were I had this big idea like our window to go and our own to go and we were gonna make a video and we're gonna I was gonna match the two we could put it on our sub stack step by our little family.
Do it. Do it. Do the Barlow family general sub stack. Is it the Barlow family general sub stack?
Anyhow, we'll put a link to our sub stack. So we're gonna do a video. Yeah. How many times should we say that?
We're gonna make a video. One more time for the folks in the back. So we just we actually haven't because we're kind of growing attached to lose long hair. It's it's really kind of growing on me.
It's so cute. It's growing on me too. Is it? Yeah.
And guess what? It's not as tangled right now. I don't know. You're looking like so cool with that I'm really vibing it.
I'm ready for you. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome Lou.
While every other channel is fighting for your customers attention, podcasts are where they've already given it. No one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes. They choose to be here. They trust the voice in their ears and when that voice talks about your brand, it doesn't sound like advertising.
It sounds like a recommendation from a front. Acast gives you that trust at scale. Digital precision, post-read authenticity, and performance data that proves it worked. Don't fight for attention.
Buy it with Acast. Learn more by visiting acast.com slash advertise. So yeah, we've sash away from our butts. We've talked about how good you are on stage now.
You're chatting with people and you're telling stories about, you know, touching yourself on porn. Yeah. Touching yourself in porn and her and her and her break in church. I wanted to say one thing.
Yes. Genuflecting. Yes. I don't know if I've ever genuflected.
That's a little like Neil you do before you go into your aisle. So it's kind of like a bow. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's genuflecting.
I think that's a genuflect. I've done that. Yeah. I've imitated that.
I was never quite sure what the real... No, let me get my phone really quick. I need to make sure I'm not... I thought genuflecting was like...
that to me was like a very dramatic gesture. I think of genuflecting. I think of people like throwing themselves at the foot of some idle. Genuflect.
Yes, lower ones body briefly by bending one knee to the ground. Typically in worship or as a sign of respect. Oh, the way that people genuflected was so... It was so...
I have to say, when I saw genuflecting, it didn't seem very passionate. Growing up in the churches and stuff, it seemed a little... So do they genuflect in the Catholic church? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, like when you enter the pew. Yes. But it's always kind of like a half-assed.
A half-assed. A little half-assed. The genuflecting. The full practical bow.
Like let's just bow. Go deep. Bring that knee to the ground. That was one thing with my church thing.
I never really saw a lot of passion. Let's say. I mean, I can't talk about it right now. Okay.
Yeah, because if we do talk about it, we might reveal some things. No. Right. And we're not going to reveal it.
No, I'm not feeling articulate about that. It's late. I was going to say I've actually seen some beautiful genuflecting. You mean it?
Yeah. Yeah. At a place. At a place.
A secret place. A place that you... Yeah. That was cool.
Is she not? That was cool. I'm not crazy. I like the genuflect.
Actually, that was the best church I've ever been to. Yeah. I like that one. For reals.
I like that one. That one was fucking badass. Well, let's move on from bowing and crossing thyself. Although, you know, I got to say, I almost did the sign of the cross today.
Why? Oh. I just... Was it Ohio or was it in Michigan?
Because we passed from Ohio into Michigan through insane... The Canadian smoke. The Canadian fires are oh, oh, see. We went...
We are going directly and we are right now in the swath. Yeah, we are. The swath of the smoke of the Canadian fires is running. I mean, we are right there.
Ipsilanti. Right. In the midst of it. The heart of it.
Dirty red. Dirty red sky. When I look at my iPhone and then it tells me the weather and it tells me the air quality. It's red.
It looks real bad and it feels bad. Possibly worse than Lansing today and we are going to Lansing tomorrow. Well, I really hope it clears soon because it's definitely tragic and I worry for people and I worry for especially people who are compromised having to walk around in this. It's concerning.
I mean, we saw people smoking everywhere. Oh, I know. I can still worry for people. You can.
Yeah. Can I worry for people who smoke? You can. I do.
I used to smoke. So, you know, I feel it. I understand that. That crazy addiction.
You can do dumb stuff like, you know, you smoke during a forest fire and you're like, well, I've got to. It's not like Jesus. It makes no sense afterward, but you're like, I don't know. Anyway.
I mean, you can't stop smoking. You can't be like, oh, jeez, the smoke's so bad. I don't think I'm going to smoke cigarettes. Yeah, it turns out it's just that's not how that works, everybody.
So heads up tomorrow, Lansing, and then Chicago. Chicago. Chicago. Yeah.
Chicago's a mighty city. I'm going to say I'm going to try really hard to be chill as fuck because it tells it behind the wheel driving into Chicago. Yeah, it's going to be interesting to see how you negotiate this. I can drive to by the way, watching you drive in Chicago might put me over the edge.
I'm going to break on hives again. I'm such a good driver watching you parked on the left. You've ruined my parking skills. I can't park anymore because it does.
What happened? Well, you're like turning sideways into. Well, I'll tell you what it is. Here, check it out.
We have a new minivan. So when you back up now, it lowers the rear view mirrors. It lowers them so you can't use them. It makes it it makes a choice for you.
Like, nope, you can't use the rear view mirrors now. You can only use the camera. Mm. If you know, this is crazy.
You notice that. No, it lowers the rear view. So you can't use them. Like, nope, you're not doing that.
Like, as if someone made someone made a judgment. That's actually kind of scary. That's like going to a house that has like a button option, but you're holding your key and you're like, but I just feel like using my key and you can't. No, there's something.
It's the future, guys. This is modern life. Ooh, it's like that. I saw a biker today.
A biker, like a real biker on a Harley. Yes. And you have a vest on with all kinds of patches on the gas station. Yeah.
He had a little American flag diaper on his head. He had a, then he had like a nappy, like a American flag, like little maker chip in his back pocket. And then he had a big American flag hanging off the back of the bike. And it was like a full size bag.
And he had this amazing like chrome, like Jack Daniels gas tank. The bike was like a combination, guys, America and Jack. The bike was immaculate because I had gleaned from his conversation with the police officer. He was in conversation with the police officer.
He was, I believe he got pulled over. The first day of his road trip was going across the States and he was like talking about all the places he was going to go. He was, he actually looked like a really legit, you know, like kind of funky. I mean, although he was, he was really dirty considering it was the first day of his bike ride.
It looked like he'd already been on the road for a long time. He did. But his bike was like gleaming. But he had all these patches that he might have been a veteran.
But he had a patch that said, uh, riders against technology. Right. Right. And it had like a little cross machine.
What does that mean? I don't know. I got to Google that. Riders against technology.
Huh. He had so many patches. I was actually trying to read half of them and some, a bunch of them were like in memory of. So like different people who died, you know, I mean, we were like, I don't know.
Were they like vet buddies or were they just like buddies on the hog who maybe died on the road? I'm always thinking that I'm like someone perished in this road trip because riding a motorcycle is dangerous. Really is. I mean, bless if you want to do it, but not for me either.
Yeah. Thank God. I'm really glad you're not into riding the hog. No.
I wouldn't want to have to be like hopping on the back and pretending that I want to get on the motorcycle. I'm not sure we're going to say I don't want to be going to the emergency room. That too. My mom was in a really bad motorcycle accident.
Oh, really? Yeah. I'm sure you told me about this, but at this moment at 1150 on this extremely long day. My mom was in a bike accident.
So I don't know. I don't know. I don't like it. I don't like it.
Well, we're on to Lansing tomorrow. Then we're on to Chicago. And then we're going to go see my folks for a few days. I'm so excited to see them and we're going to get to spend the 4th of July in Turtle Lake, Wisconsin.
I hope it's explosive. It's kind of fucking blow up. Man, those people and their legal fireworks. Should we get fireworks?
Hell yeah. We're going to get fireworks. We got to get a shopping cart full of them. Right.
I mean, that was my plan. Well, really? Cool. Hell yeah.
Well, last time we brought Hendricks to Turtle Lake, we got a shopping cart full of fireworks. You know what's awesome? We can bring them home in to Massachusetts. Really?
We're going to throw those fireworks in many and head across. Sure. We're selling our t-shirts. We're getting more room in the van at all times.
We should just start putting fireworks in there. We'll load it up with a, did I ever tell our podcast listeners about when I had a fireworks go off on my foot? What happened? Someone poured beer on it.
Well, that's the story. Thank you very much. No, that's, I mean, it was similar to that. That was like the three times that beer saved me when I was growing up.
And one time was I stuck my tongue to a light pole as you do in Minnesota in the winter time. That's what you do. I know. Don't embarrass me.
Okay. That's what I did. All right. I don't know what to say.
I did it. I'm like the kid in the fucking movie. I stuck my tongue to a light pole. You're experimental.
Thank you. And my neighbor Stevie Mullins dad came out in the dead of winter with a beer, like a really light, shitty beer he cracked it open and he poured it out. And it came right off. So that's the first time beer saved me.
And then the second time back to Turtle Lake, Wisconsin, I went in the lake, swam, swam, swam, came out of the lake as a kid, covered in leeches. And my uncle Terry came over to me, cracked another beer, probably another light, shitty beer, poured it over my body, and the leeches came off. Wow. Yeah.
So, you know, just always keep a can of crappy beer. And then the third time was I had a, what's it called like a Roman candle or something like that? Where you like shoots out of the bottle, like boosh, boosh, boosh, boosh. I'm not fucking scary, actually.
You shouldn't really handle those two kids, but I was handed one. And so we were down by the fire again, Turtle Lake. And it wasn't my fault. The actual Roman candle thing was defective.
And it came out the bottom instead of shooting up at the sky. So it like shot into my foot. You're not talking about a bottle rocket. No, it's called like a Roman candle.
I think we're like, okay. You've got a lot of those. No bottle rockets totally different thing. And I've shot off a bazillion of those.
And so anyway, live a good bottle rocket story. Okay. Now we're getting to 26 minutes. We gotta wrap this shit up.
So then my, my aunt Carol married Uncle Terry just put her cold beer can against my foot and where they had shot into it. And it, yeah, save my foot. Oh, that's like the time I sit with the cold beer can. That's like the time that you play family, everyone.
They really came through for me. You poured boiling water over your hand and then you just ran it. I brought you. Like that was a very rushed version of my three times the beer saving story.
But I could probably stretch that into an entire episode. That could be a whole episode, but not anymore because it's now it's been tackled and it's done. I'm sorry. You should be.
Are you going to cuddle with me tonight? Yes. Yeah, I wouldn't. I don't know.
Just asking me feel like cuddling. Always. Me too. So we ran it up and cuddled.
Yeah. Let's put this dog to bed. Thank you for listening, everyone. Thank you.
I hope this isn't the worst episode you've ever heard. Could be the weirdest one. We're so tired. And I'm a little tipsy because I drink a couple of cups of wine.
Loo's buzzed. I can't even listen to this episode back because I'm going to be mortifying. I'm going to be mortified. Am I heavy?
Heavy tongue. No deer. All right. Thank you.
Thank you. Ipsy. Download. Like, subscribe.
Good night. Ipsy in your penis tower. Quick question. When was the last time a display ad changed your mind?
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