I was the first person to jump off the stratosphere. What the fuck does that mean? Do you know the stratosphere in Vegas? I think you met the actual one on the Earth.
No. No. You jumped off the stratosphere. 100%.
Two. New tube airs one cave. Tom's getting his vasectomy reversed. I'm sitting with Louis CK, who has a special streaming January 28th from Madison Square Garden in the round at lewck.com.
It is so good to sit with a comedian that I don't have to carry his weight all day. Like I have been fucking carrying this guy for so long, though. You have no idea. The conversations are it's like we used to do an O and A.
You remember doing an O and A? Yeah. And no one talked. That was got the weirdest in times, but it was right.
Yeah, it was all right, though. I used to man the hardest I've ever laughed. You are responsible for my hardest laughter ever. Literally pulling a car over as they sat, like literally driving to tennis.
I used to drive to tennis right with the peak of O and A. What? Tennis. I used to play tennis.
I was an old man that had played tennis like professionally. No, no, no. I played with, I used to play with this old man. I wish I could remember his name.
I think he was at the beginning stage as an Alzheimer's, so he was horrible at keeping score. I think he was horrible at keeping score. I used to play tennis with an old man. Yeah.
You don't remember his name. You guys may need to edit his name out. He told me some very wise things. I joined this country club and it was down by Fox and I lived over in Wilshire, La Brea.
Every morning I played one time they go, well, Perry was someone at your level. I was like, cool. So I showed up as a 70 year old dude. I'm like, motherfucker.
But he's probably real good, right? He was guys that play their whole lives. They're really good. Well, he was as good as I was when I first started playing tennis again.
And then as I got better, I just, like I had to slow my serve down. I had to, because I wanted to play. I wanted to bring calories. Yeah.
I said, like, it was so fun. I really enjoyed tennis. Yeah, it's great. I played, do you ever see me play Tom?
No, I destroyed him. I destroyed him. I'm not surprised. I hasted him, I think, around 27 times.
And Tom's not very athletic. No, I guess he's not. No, he's like, do you remember in high school the guys that were like, oh, yeah, you think that's a sport, put on some pads. I'll show you a sport.
You're like throwing your body against another man. That's not a sport. No, tennis is a sport. No, tennis is a sport.
It's just very satisfying because you get to get to every 10 seconds you get to keep going. You know, the game is like baseball is so frustrating because you only once every, you know, hour gets hit the ball. Did you play organized sports as a kid? It's just as a kid, like it's literally baseball and football.
I played pop, corner, you know, football. How many concussions do you think you've had? I know. Who knows?
I got hit hard. I was big. So I used to, I was a lineman. Really?
Yeah. I was a played seventh grade. They put me in as middle linebacker and I had no, I was not, it was a private school. I was not good.
I did not, I don't like competition. I don't like hitting people. No. First play I intercepted a pass and ran it back to the one yard line.
Whoa. The kid's a natural. Right. And I played for two more years just getting concussed, you just never did that again.
Never did it again. Never did it again. I remember, I remember, in practice one time it was all about when you can hit kids. Yeah.
You can't hit kids anymore? No. You mean when you, kids can hit each other. Kids can hit each other.
No, I got back when coaches can hit you. Yes, kids can hit kids. I see. You put yourself in it.
You said when you can hit kids. Yeah. When, I heard the offense in practice, say they'll play, they're gonna run a screen. I was like, Oh, easy.
Easy, easy. I'm gonna pick this right now. and I fucking intercepted and ran back in the coach as I was doing my insert dance in practice. Came up to me and just fine, right on the side of the helmet.
And then like my, I was like, you knew the fucking play was coming. Wow. And yeah, I was like, My coach kicked me in the ass once. Really?
Really hard. Yeah. Because I was, me and these other kids who weren't playing, we never played, because we sucked. We were just taking our helmets and smushing them in the mud and just fucking, and he just ran up.
And I just felt this foot hit my ass like really hard. And I had pads, but he's still, he was a big man. And I was 10. So we were 10.
We were that, I'm a little bit younger than you, not much. I'm 55. Yeah. So five years, you've seen so much older than me when I started.
It's almost another generation. It is. That's pretty much older. So I, yeah.
So, wait, so when did you play tennis? As an adult? No, with this old guy. When you guys were doing ONA.
When you went ONA was at its peak. So you belong to a country, where you were a rich guy growing up? Kind of. I got my, it's a weird thing to say these days, because people read into it differently.
My dad was a lawyer. And he was, like, as successful as one could be as a lawyer, we lived in a pretty white trash neighborhood. But we could pay the bills. And then Elrond Hubbard hired my dad.
Really? Yeah. And my dad beat the church of Scientology in court. And Elrond Hubbard said, anyone who can beat us is going to hire me, put him on a painter.
Yeah. So my dad worked for the church for, we just called it the church. The church. That's what we called it.
Yeah. Growing up. If they're paying the bills, they're the church. They are the church.
Yes. So we bought a nice house and a new neighborhood. And then Elrond's difthas. Didn't pay you?
Didn't pay us. And so we had a big house with no furniture. And so my dad struggled to get like, to keep everything afloat. It was like $135,000 for a house in an 80, I guess an 82, probably.
That's how we got him back. You got a guy retainer. I'm fucking smart. Yeah.
And so little did he know I'd have a Leona remedy on my show and trash the church. Yeah, but he's dead. He doesn't care. Yeah.
Well, he's up in a space ship somewhere. Is that right? Is that what he thinks? I do it.
I believe in it. I'm looking for something. You are? Yeah.
Well, how do you mean that? Like, I would love to find Christ. Yeah. I would love that.
Yeah. Making a space ship, I'll take it too. But you're looking? Yeah.
Like, not. You'd like to find something. You'd like it. Yeah.
I'd like it to land on me. Like, I'm waiting for a library. I'm just waiting for your just waiting for sobriety. I'm waiting for it.
I'm waiting for that moment of clarity that everyone says happens. It's going to happen. Yeah. Don't you?
Don't wouldn't would you pay if they were a procedure? Or they make me religious? Yeah. And then you believed you believed like your your father transitioned right into Orthodox.
Well, yeah, my father was raised Catholic, but his father was Jewish. Yeah. And so then he converted to become Jewish because he have your mom has to be Jewish or you're not. So if your father's Jewish and your mom's not and you want to be Jewish, you have to convert.
And he married a Jewish woman much younger than him after my mom. Like how we go. And so he was like, so he converted a guy's dick snipped. Anything that fucking stick in her.
She was sexy. But anyway, I don't know that much about it. I was a kid. But yeah, he converted it.
And if you convert, you go to be Orthodox. You're not going to convert to Judaism and then be like, ah, you know, I keep the holidays, but otherwise I don't really give a shit. But would I get an operation to make me believe? No, I wouldn't.
For real? Yeah, I don't. I have no problem not having faith. What do you think happens when you die?
Nothing. I mean, nothing. You would return to oblivion. I just had a little bit of a panic.
Yeah, it's an upsetting thought because you can't, but it's incredible. I mean, it's a version of what you think. Have a panic attack right now. You tell me this.
It's just nothing. Like I listen to a lot of history podcasts and I get panic attacks when I think that when it was Rhodesia, I was nothing. Like back when Zimbabwe was Rhodesia, I just didn't exist. No, you didn't exist at all.
And it gives me panic. Yeah, but everything that makes you was here already, you know? You were in the works in a sense, you know? Your parents existed or their parents existed.
Yeah. And all of the molecules in everything in the world and the swirl of matter and consciousness was already here. You just joined it. You just joined it.
And then you're going to fall out of it again, but you're still and then you're what you parts all of you is going to. You got kids too. So you know, you just it's a trip. You get it.
You get a shot at it. You get to borrow it. So is your part of something that's always been here? There's never there's no you're part of the first living thing led to you, you know, and me and what's your name?
Marjorie Taylor Greene. We all came from the same thing. I just do it. I know to me it's just way so much bigger than me.
I don't really think about it in terms of like when does my life end? It's just like I'm just sort of like in the I'm in a crowd shot. You know what I mean? No, like a movie like a big.
I got a type Louis. What? I got a type. It's a smart.
You're in a tight you're in a one. Oh, it's a crowd shot, but they're got a single on me. Yeah, like fucking. I was watching a movie called something Jack time Jack time.
It's with Amelia West of us and Mick Jagger's in it. Oh, I know. Free Jack. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. So there's a shot in free Jack where so Amelia West of us has a car accident. He's racing. And his girlfriend or his wife is in the stands and he has an accident.
And there's this it's called a snap zoom. Snap zoom into her face like another. They take the zoom off of the electronic and they just so it goes into her face and she screams. But if you look at the if you freeze it like one frame before it snaps, you see she's kind of just standing there.
And I think Amelia West of us is in the shot. Like he's there's there's a crowd shot. Yeah. Everyone's just kind of hanging around.
And she goes and they snap zoom. So like the one frame before you see everyone's relaxed and I think there's people in the yeah, that's the movie. I think Amelia West of us is actually in the shot. But anyway, so that's what you're saying you're in a crowd which you want.
You're seeing it from. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't I have a hard time.
I mean, don't you feel a little bit like I don't know. Don't you feel like you're special? I did. You know, as a kid, I did.
Yeah, I was you still feel like that. Yeah, I see that. I see that. And it's a double edged sword because I think you feel special.
You glow as a person you glow because you're special. You're also terrified. I'm terrified. Yeah.
That's what comes with being special. You get a little more into the mud and just feel more like a nothing. I could do this. It sounds scary.
I think about a lot. I listen to a ton of history podcasts. Yeah. And so that's what I sleep to.
And so I had a dream we were they were talking about the Great War, the World War I. And they were explaining the trench technology and how they'd be like, all right, everyone go. Right with the whistle. I wouldn't I wouldn't do it.
I think about that a lot. Like Gallipoli ever seen that movie? Gallipoli's a great world war one movie. And it's just about that because they just they were in the wrong spot.
It's about the Australian troops and the English troops were like, what? Yeah, let them do it. And they made them charge. But there was no there's just a machine gun just waiting.
There was no chance. No chance. But they kept going. But I don't want to die.
No, you get shot later. I mean, it buys you saying no buys you about a week because you get. Yeah, because you got shot with a post, but you got a bunch of I mean, I wouldn't go because you get a bunch of chances to escape. You get a chance to talk to explain yourself.
I may not work out, but this is definitely not going to work out. Definitely doesn't work out. But mine is what your dice I was watching a movie called Racing with the Moon. It was with Sean Penn Nick, and Dana Carvey was because Dana Carvey was coming on the show.
And I remember watching as a kid and I watched a little clips online. I like the really diligent research. You went, you're doing a carving on so you watch Racing with the Moon. It's not that diligent.
I was obsessed with Racing with the Moon with Sean Penn's haircut as a kid. And so when I saw that he was in Racing with the Moon, I went, I can race with the Moon. I love that. I didn't realize the storyline in it.
I didn't, as a kid, I didn't, I had no concept of of what the draft really was. Yeah. And so it's a story about these two kids get drafted for World War II and they're about to go, but they're trying to get memories before they go because they're afraid they're going to die. And there's a just a scene of Sean Penn walking down a railroad track.
And as an adult, I saw that very differently as then as a child. I went, just keep walking. Right. The fuck are you doing?
I was from that kind of like, well, I guess I got to do it. You know, yes, sir. It's a culture or something. I don't fucking know.
Yeah. What makes a guy do that? Look at like, like, you don't strike me to someone who listened to a lot of David Goggins or Jocko Willing. I don't strike you that way.
Don't strike you. No, because I don't know who those people are. Okay. David Goggins.
Oh, dude. Military. He's a friend of Rogan. And so he like runs 100 miles a day and he's like, it's all about like very inspirational, but it's not, I always try to say this right way.
It's not slick enough to be, he's not slick enough to try to sell it to you. He just happens to be selling it to you. Does that make sense? No.
He's not Tony Robbins. He's not up there like, let me get inside you, right? He just was like, he's like, he's just a magnetic or anything. No, he's just, he's just, it's so coming from the center of his chest like, don't be a fucking pussy.
Bitch, stop running. Don't be a bitch. Just run. Like that's David Goggins.
Okay. Who's gonna carry the boats? Who's gonna carry the boats? Like he just is, he got that switch that we were talking about with religion, but it happened for him about life transformation and discipline.
That's the guy that's what he looked like before or something like that. Yeah. And he's like, he feels like it's hard to be that guy. I think it would be really hard.
Yeah. I mean, you can get anyone could be that guy. You just choose which thing you're gonna fucking towards yourself with. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Because you could be that guy, but that's hard to be that guy. And then you're like, this all the time. Oh, it's not.
And then you die. It's not like you do that and then you break through to some infinite perfection. You just do this and then you fucking, you die. And then you die.
It's really short life. It's so short. It's so short. Do you feel like you do sometimes wake up and go, I'm halfway done?
Yeah, I'm way more than 55. That's more than half. I'm not going to make 110. I'm not headed to 110.
I don't think you're going to do that either. He's not either. That's not 110 years. You don't make 100.
You have to be like, you know, the little Indian guy that eats the string that comes out your ass while you know those guys. Yeah. Yeah. That guy can make 110.
Yeah. It's all your heart rate down and sitting, you know, it has to be that. I don't want to be that. I do.
I'll be the last one. You want to be the last person? Last person I know. That really, that's so sad.
I know. I died four years ago now. Shit. Seems like recent, you know.
Yeah. But I thought that's it. I suffered the difficult death, you know, so my mom, I'm alone now. Now I go through life alone with me and my generation and we'll just go through life.
But now I'm looking at my friends, my dear friends and I'm like, I'm going to watch that guy die. I'm either going to die sadly young or I'm going to watch all my fucking friends die. That's horrible. Like I don't want to find out that you die.
I mean, that might happen to the same. Okay, there's no. I'm going to shock everyone. I think everyone's going to go shut the fuck up.
I'm going to, I think I'm going to be at my wife's funeral and everyone's going to go. Should have been him. Yeah, 52. 52.
Yeah. But you're going through life together. Yeah. Well, she's a couple of steps ahead of me.
Yeah. Yeah. I get to watch her age. Yes.
And she's going through menopause. Yeah. That's a fucking treat. Yeah, sure.
That's rough. And so I don't know. Okay. Okay.
Okay. I mean, I think this is probably a narcissistic thing to say, but don't you, when someone dies, I remember the first person I knew that died is it was Scott and we were in a college and got hit by a car. And shit. Yeah.
Right on in front of the bar. We were all at and drunk. And it was a street just run across street and he just went to turn, run across street and the car hit him. And that was it.
And I remember thinking, but I'm still here. Like, that's crazy that he's gone. I'm here. Yeah.
It's fucking weird. It's almost like in a weird way, like a schadenfreude. Schadenfreude. That's it.
We're like, people die, but then you stay. Yeah. And you're like, fuck, so I guess I always live. Right?
Right. Because you have lived. Yeah. And like you, I keep missing it.
Like, you know, yeah, but it's like someone dies. I go another one, man. Right. So every time somebody dies, it's, it's really about your survival.
It's really just another sign that you're never going to die. That's, I don't think that's narcissistic. It's just retarded. I'm pretty sure that's just, no, he died in a minute.
He's a fucking asshole. He's another one. I knew a guy. There was a comic I worked with in Seattle.
I opened for him, I think, and his name, I don't remember his name, but he had a moniker. He was the, the, the non-PC, and then anti-politically correct comic. And it was way, this is the 90s. This is before any of this stuff.
This is what probably could be correctly, but we're still saying the unword. Yeah. Well, you know, it's, they are, but, but, but so this guy, his whole thing was about being so he said, how many, I remember what he would say, he was funny. I liked him.
He was a really nice guy in case he exists still. I don't know, but, but I, but I did. I liked him, but he had this one funny moment where he got a laugh that I don't think he understood why he was getting a laugh. He would say, how many of you people here, you know, they make us wear seat belts.
How many of you grew up in a, in your parents are never wore a seat belt and none of us are dead and people would laugh because that's not proof that seat belts aren't important. There's the people that died aren't here to raise their hands. You know what I mean? They're not here to.
That's because there's no because it's just you haven't died yet. That's not evidence of anything. I actually am closer to not believing in death than I am believing in religion. Wow.
I understand that. I understand the idea of like that's not going to happen to me, but you will get when you get older that you start, I had a bunch of things. I thought that's not going to happen to me. That's not going to happen to me.
That's, and then you go, oh yeah, they all all have it. I thought I wouldn't have glasses. Oh, I thought I would never have glasses. Yeah, of course you just found my glasses.
Yeah. Yeah. I thought I would never, like I, I, I remember thinking I remember the first time I found out my blood pressure was high. Yeah.
I thought I was going to go again. Right. No, you're going to get higher blood pressure. You're going to get your veins are going to clog up.
Your joints are going to start stiffening. This hurts. Mine hurts too. Yeah, this is all day.
Really? Yeah. Why? We just going to be those old men.
There's no more muscle here and it just, the thumb sticks out like that. It's just going to be an appendage. I do. I think we have like the last of the thumb people.
So that's because humans don't need their hands anymore. Yeah. Kind of right now. We're just going to need these.
So then what's the thing that makes you not worry about death? Like what do you do to not think about that? I mean, I don't do anything. It scares me some time.
Do you want to do the doctor a lot? No. No, I'm almost never. I almost never do that.
I call the doctor. I try to get him, you know, like if I have a name, it's science infection or something. I call him. I say, please just give me a script of something and he says, can you get to come in?
You got to see it. Yeah. But I don't ever go. I did that for Xanax.
I called him a doctor and I was like, hey, my Xanax is out. I need to take it. Never really. I take it to sleep like once every few weeks.
This is a secret time, but I take it when I'm coming off the road partying, like really partying. I'll take it my first overnight. And then that stays off the bad night sleep. And then you get the next day, you feel really great and then you don't need to drink.
I feel fucking awesome. And then you don't drink that night. And how long do you stay sober for? I don't know.
Chunks now, as I'm getting older, big chunks, because I for the first time I'm not rebounding like I used to, like I used to be, I mean, notoriously could wake up hung over and run a marathon, did it. You actually did it. And so, but now I for the first time I'm going, like, it does feel a little better to get some good sleep for guy who's afraid of death. You're just running towards it, baby.
You're just asking for it. I was just out and played it. I'm a sizzle real play. I'm a feelin' real good.
I don't wanna find out that you died. You have something weirdly masochistic about you. What's that mean? Well, I remember the first time I met you, you told me about this show, you used to have called Hurt, Burt.
Yeah. And it was really bewildering to me. I'm bewildering to myself. Because you were doing stuff that was physically painful.
And you didn't like doing it. It hurt. Yeah, I hated it. And then I did a show called Birth Conqueror, where I did extreme activities, like jumping off the stratosphere and stuff.
And I hated that. What do you mean jumping off the stratosphere? I was the first person to jump off the stratosphere. What the fuck does that mean?
You know the stratosphere in Vegas? No, I think I'm at the actual one on the Earth. No. You jumped off the stratosphere.
Yeah, no. What's the stratosphere? It's 111 story building in Vegas. And so we take an elevator at the top, you go off to the ledge and you jump off it, and you control descent.
And so they got a line that tethers you in your face. Oh yeah. I was in New Zealand, and my assistant did that. It's weird to watch somebody do that.
Yeah. It's a bizarre. And then they're right here in front of you. They were like, you're the first person.
And then I was like, oh. But we had to do interviews for TV. And then like, why don't you ever rehearse? I was just being a me as lady.
It's like just dead inside. Like, like no emotion on her face. Yeah. And she's dressed in a jumpsuit.
And I said, hey, why am I interviewing her? And then she's jumped off before. But I thought I was the first one. And I'm like, no, they had to test it.
So she was the tester. So I asked her, I said, what do you mean? You jumped off this? She goes $100.
My son's in prison. It goes to his commissary. They give me $100. So at lunch, I just jump five times.
So you mean people that test that kind of thing aren't like test pilot guys. They're just like the fucking desperate people. Let's find somebody who just who's doing anything for $100. People that worked at the casino, she'd sweep up and clean out asteroids.
And they watch her again. They say, go find somebody. And so she was like, I'll do it. So at lunch, she just jumped.
Get the elevator. Jump. And so she made money for someone in prison. She told me.
And she put money towards this commissary and make extra money. $100 every jump. So he could buy a little bit more heroin from somebody's anus. Probably.
Fuck. And I told her. And then I said, wait, that's really life. Isn't it right there?
What she's experiencing? That's life. She's in the wide shot. Yes.
But for her, that's a really sad tight shot. You put fucking punching on her. I don't think she's in the wide shot. I think she's in the wide shot.
And she has a much more interesting story than either of us. Oh, I think so. I would. That's fucking that is boy.
That is tough. You're already like cleaning cigarette butts in Vegas. Yeah. And someone's like, you want to jump off that for $100 to give it to your son who can't even spend it except on.
And then she would just get in the elevator and go up. You just say I'm going up in the elevator. Get to the ledge. No emotion.
Jump. I was through jump. Just jump. And then when I jumped.
How many times did she need to test it? They tested it all day long. They were testing it. They were opening the ride.
So they start with the other thing is they chose her because she's OK to lose by their. In other words, they pick somebody who they're like, who can we have jumped that if she dies, it's OK. I think I think probably someone who doesn't have a big legal team behind them. Yeah.
Yeah. They start with water dummies. They were throwing water dummies off and they were exploding in the ground. And they're like tighter, tighter.
And then they're like, I think we got to dial in. Men get in the elevator. Start with any put a dog between her and the. Like a fucking.
There's the notorious one. You got to kill a few dogs before you try a person. You got to kill at least one dog before you try a person. Yeah, I would definitely.
Or the other option is don't have the fucking stupid thing. It makes money for them. That's you never think of that when you see those. It's like, well, it's perfectly safe.
That's what he says, you know. But it's perfectly safe because they tested it. They risked somebody's life. For that?
Yeah. But because it makes money and it is a memory. You go to Vegas to memory. Here's the thing I used to think I used to think they tested it.
It's got to be safe until they did the they did a slide in Kansas city that it did, captated a child. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow.
They showed the slide. I didn't sit in something wrong, right? No, he was a he did he do it. Did he sit up when he was like, how did he get it?
He kept it. So this ride was flawed in that they made the ride and they were like, what is it? You sit in a slide and like a thing and you go down and the whole point was you go down so fast that as you hit the thing, you'd catch a little air. What they didn't anticipate was how fat Americans were.
Oh, yeah. And so then they were like, well, fuck, we can't just run this ride and just go next. We got to weigh people because we're in Kansas city. Right.
So we can theoretically no joke. We could probably put a ton of people in this thing, like legit. And if we do, you go fucking flying off this thing. Yeah.
So they had to measure it. And I guess they just didn't measure it, right? They tried. They would try.
They would put you with a child. Come on. They would put your his so there's a net above it. There's a net because people were flying.
It was it was flying off the fucking ride. I guess I think I wasn't there. But that was the they would put kids on. So like when I did it, they're like, well, you're 250 put two little girls with them.
So it was me and two little girls. And then two, you can never do with your fucking friends. No, because you were like, oh, put me this child out with me. So the kids head to go.
That means without the kids head came off means you're never going to die bird. So that's just another sign. Makes me feel like that. I'm having a tic-tac.
I'm sorry. That's OK. I noticed this on the tic-tac this morning, by the way. On the box, look at this.
See, there's a little guy. He's a little tic-tac. And he's a DJ. On top of a tic-tac.
Yeah, see, and I'm fascinated by this because that's somebody did this. Like somebody worked this out. Do you know what I mean? Like somebody who's job that was.
It's like a creative job to make this little tic-tac guy. And they have this much space to advertise. They have a very little space. So it's very small.
Like you would never look at that, right? I would never notice it. But somebody's saying, hey, if we put this guy in there, folks might like him and want to buy a tic-tac. You're not going to see that on a shelf and go like, but if you buy tic-tac and you're going to go, I liked that little guy.
I want to see him again. I would never notice it. And normally there's a contest. If you scan the card code.
Is it a DJ? There's a contest. For being a DJ? It says for a chance to win prizes.
What happens? And also tic-tac has Facebook and Instagram. And they tweet also. It's not.
Oh, here we go. What is the contest? Please wait. We're loading.
Everyone's allowing cookies these days. You ever notice that? What do you mean? Everyone's like, do you accept our cookies?
And you're like, I guess so. Or I can't find out what the contest is. It's a word search. Oh, forget it.
Yeah. I mean, I just remember when tic-tacs were, do you remember the commercials they had? I mean, you were five years younger than me. But they were speaking of close-ups.