Lazy Husband or Overloaded Wife? Fixing the Uneven Load Before Resentment Wins

Ever come home from work to a house that looks like a bomb went off—while your partner relaxes? Today Justin answers a listener who’s furious at a husband who won’t pull his weight. Is it laziness, “feigned incompetence,” or something deeper? Justin shares the tough-love steps every parent needs to hear to reclaim balance without a shouting match. Plus: a second listener asks for help with a 12-year-old facing anxiety, insomnia, and no friends—Justin’s practical roadmap will give you hope tonight. KEY POINTS Why “feigned incompetence” is a relationship killer—and how to call it out with compassion. Three steps to stop enabling: drop the martyr act, have the hard conversation, and set clear expectations. Family meetings as a secret weapon for shared responsibility. Supporting a tween with severe anxiety and sleep struggles: routines, medical checks, and delight-driven activities. How better sleep restores calm for the whole household. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You deserve a partner, not a project.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES Couples meeting [Podcast Episode] The Importance of Sleep: How I Work Crossover [Podcast Episode] #452 Weaponised Incompetence [Podcast Episode] Parenting On The Same Page [Webinar] We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing [Webinar] A Grown Up’s Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) [Download] Riding the Waves: Tools for Taming Anxiety [Course for kids & teens] #310 Bedtime is the Right Time [Podcast Episode] #990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne Hollonds [Podcast Episode] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Name the Load – Write down every daily task you’re carrying; share it with your partner without blame. Set a Couple’s Meeting – Weekly 15-minute check-ins to agree on chores, schedules, and support. Prioritise Sleep – Create predictable bedtime routines for kids and adults. Find Delight – Help your child discover activities that light them up to ease anxiety and improve sleep. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.