Learning to Lament

In this episode of The Church We Dream Of, Christian therapist and podcaster Kia Gutierrez wrestles with the reality of grief, lament, and healing in the church. What’s the difference between grief and lament in the Bible? Why are Millennials leaving the church? What role does Gen Z play in reshaping the future of Christian community?Kia shares insights from Scripture, her work as a marriage and family therapist, and a powerful dream that revealed how the church often confuses lament with performance. This episode explores why lament is a lost spiritual practice we desperately need to reclaim if we want to see authentic healing, unity, and revival.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:The difference between grief and lament—and why the church needs both.A Native American model of communal grieving that mirrors biblical lament.How performance culture shaped Millennial church leaders.Why Gen Z approaches the church platform differently, and how their strength is lament.The risks of performative grief and emotional burnout in ministry.A personal dream that revealed the church’s hidden struggle with grief.The role of lament in worship, healing, and spiritual formation.What Psalm 57 teaches us about lament turning into praise.Key Quote:“We are so focused on getting to the glory, we miss the fact that His glory is in the lament.”Keywords & Themes:Christian grief and lamentMillennials leaving the churchGen Z faith and leadershipHealing church hurt and traumaLament in the Bible (Psalm 57)Why the church needs lamentPerformance vs authenticity in churchTakeaway:The church we dream of will never come by skipping pain. Healing begins when we acknowledge dysfunction, grieve together, and embrace lament as a sacred practice that leads us closer to God.Resources Mentioned:Scripture Reading: Psalm 57 – David’s journey from mercy-seeking lament to steadfast praise.Connect with Kia:Instagram: @healdeeplovewideSubstack: https://kiagutierrez.substack.com/Website: www.kiagutierrez.com