LEG SPREADING SAINTS OR CHEAP TIGHTWADS

FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL KEPT IN THE DARK REGARDING MY PHENOMENAL MULTIPURPOSE LIFE, DO WAKE UP & PROTECT ME BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!! MANY A POLITICIAN'S WIFE SHARPENS HER KNIVES WHEN MY NAME IS BROUGHT UP.  AND ONCE I AM PUT TO SLEEP, MY FELLOW AMERICANS, YOU WILL KNOW WHAT IT IS TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM FOR ALL TIME.  SO IF YOU SAFEGUARD ME NOW, I WILL PUT ALL THE SAFETYS IN PLACE JUST SO YOU CAN BREATHE EASY EVEN AFTER I AM GONE. DONT LET THE MEANIES LASER HIT ME.