Gimme all your raw impressions, your thoughts, your words, your time, all about communication, all the fucking time. Gimme all your raw impressions, all your all impressions, all feed me your life, and I feed you mine. Hot Fresh Theme. I like it a lot.
Who has made us start this episode to serve third time? Third, fourth? Third, third, start. Yeah.
Hello, I'm Tapper, the Fort track Tapper. My good friend, Fort track man, is asking me to announce this week's episode of Raw impressions. Oh, it's still not feeling well about his ears. And Fort track man felt that he's abrasive and relentless barbusting, over with an upset low.
And maybe he's doing just a little bit too vulnerable at this time. I commend Fort track man for his sensitivity and his issue. I myself know sensitivity. I am the Fort track Tapper, the originated, and the mastermind behind the improvisational tapping.
I can get into that a little bit more later. I have a special thing I'd like to show though that will hopefully help him feel better. In the meantime, I think we would like to talk a little bit more about what's going on inside his ears. He's left here in particular.
He's got some more information and a whole lot more questions to be honest. So who am I to tell? Please, take it away. I spend a lot of time talking about my ear, don't I honeybuds?
You do. It's the currently the the topic around our house. And when you're gone and when you're home, it's just I'm home. I've been home for two days.
You're like following me around like a little puppy just like, have I told you about this thing that I'm hearing and then trying to just get permanent. Yeah, I think it's temporary. I think it's permanent. You know, I think it's temporary.
This is probably from a bacteria infection that's now invading my brain. Well, it could be from dislodging my brain and my skull. Well, it could be from, I mean, it began on November 10th, Sao Paulo, Brazil, a particularly Rokas performance by Lou Barlow. Yeah, we really it was the show Sao Paulo.
So the last dinosaur show, junior show of their short South American jaunt. And yeah, you trust your senses for information about the world around you. And it must be very frustrating, though, especially when you are an importantly high dose of print in the zone. Yeah, you are.
No, how are those mud swings going? Boy, how are you holding up, sweetie? You get easy for a track, man. Well, I don't know if you have found the approximate frequency of the tone in your left ear.
You got to play it for us and talk a little bit about it. I'd love to play it. Do I have to be present for the second? When I came up with this one, so I was using my frequency generator on my phone.
I found the frequency of the tone in my left ear. And it happens to be 540 kilohertz or whatever. Those are hertz. And this is funny.
I looked that up. I just put 540 hertz into the Google and I said, this is a tone for clarity and peace of mind. So there's sound therapy where you just listen to this sound. Well, that's why I was saying, what's your problem, babe?
So this is the thing that people are like searching for specifically. You already have for free. Like there's a rolling around in your head, clarity and peace of mind. How come you don't seem clear?
Where's your peace of mind? Well, because it doesn't stay at 540 every day. It happened to be 540 that day today. It's more like this, which is like 530.
666. 660 kilohertz. 66. Yeah, I'm obsessed with my.
I have no choice. None of us do. We are all in this journey with you. And I...
It's so loud. And I'm so... I'm so jacked on prednisone. He is totally jacked on prednisone.
And thankfully, you know, I just, but we haven't broken up guys. We're still married. He can be a little... I feel like I'm growing a mono brow.
I feel like I'm kind of... His mood swings. I feel like my eyebrows are going... I feel...
Today is my last full dose. Today is my last full dose of prednisone. And then it's the ramp down, right? We're stepping down.
Ramp down. Step down. Oh, God. Oh, while I...
We're losing listeners, Lou. I'm losing listening. Oh, my God. He's taking us down with my normal.
This is my normal... This is my normal... This is my normal... As I was finding my tone from my left ear, this is the normal tone in my ears.
That's really loud. This is the one that's directly... Look at her tapping through this. If you're wondering what the hell Lou is doing.
This is the one that's directly in the middle of my brain. And I'm fine with it. I like this one. I don't like the new one.
So you just need to become friends with the new one? But it's just in one ear, which indicates something... That's trouble. A mono...
Like, monoril. Tonight this is not good. That means it indicates some sort of damage within your body. Folks, let's just say this.
Lou has an appointment tomorrow with an audiologist here in Greenfield, Massachusetts. I was going to use this right now to practice what I was going to tell the audiologist so I could deliver a clear and concise. And I'm not at all. You're going to just hand them the podcast episode.
I was like, listen to this. Listen to the last three. I... I'm going to cue our coach to the raw question podcast.
I dedicated the last two episodes to my hearing damage. I laugh and ha ha. I will say this. It has been extremely stressful.
I don't want to cry because that would just... That would be the end of the episode and I just did my makeup and so I don't want to do that. But listen, it's been extremely stressful. I'm very worried about Louis Barlow and his ear and his livelihood and his peace of mind and his sanity and his health.
And all of the things. Where... A Del Barlow here is extremely worried. Lou is extremely worried.
We are both in a state of kind of a lot of worry. I do appreciate that since we did do the first episode that people have been weighing in and sharing their experiences with this. And it's really not that uncommon. And I've actually talked to...
And when I was in Los Angeles playing the shows with Dinosaur Jr., I talked to several people who've experienced very similar things. So I'm kind of becoming less... I'm going, if this is my lot, if this is where I'm at, I'm not alone. You're feeling less isolated with it?
I'm feeling less isolated with it. I'm feeling less... You know, if I really did sustain some real damage when I was in Brazil and then maybe through the flights after that, I'll talk to the audiologist and see what she thinks tomorrow. But if that's it, you know, if that's what I'm left with, I mean, I can do it.
I mean, I played the theme today. I played the theme. And it was pretty good. And actually, maybe this is a way that I'll focus more and more on what I am singing and what I'm listening to.
And maybe it will open up new things for me. And I'm never, ever stepping foot on stage with Dinosaur Jr. without a big ass pair of gun muffs ever again. That's never, I am absolutely going completely fully, triple protected anytime.
And Sabado, you've got a Sabado show coming up. You play rock music, right? Yeah. Hey, no one's down.
I'm back. It's time to tap. I'm going to show my innovative music to see this stuff for this difficult time. It's not easy.
Based on the traditionalist, everyone's tapping on his twist. I'm going to bring this thing with both hands and tap. The traditional plots of your body and the traditional leader. The top of your skull.
The forehead. The top of your eye. The side of your eye. So fun.
And you know, awesome. It's kind of the script. I allow myself to feel this. It's okay that I'm feeling that.
I'm always protected. I'm going to be okay. That's all well and good, but it's a script. My idea is, you tap.
Like you do regularly at first. What you see, the first thing that comes into your brain. Let me demonstrate. Top of your head.
I'm here on the wrong pressure show. Where I'm at? I'm a great new MC for this show. Top of your eye.
The fore track man can be very rude. Side of your eye. I'm a good tapping therapist. Under your eye.
I'm an innovator and I will continue to be an innovator. Under your nose. I'm Dr. Tapper.
And soon I will be accredited as such. Below your lower lip. See, that's the twist. I'm making a place to say to myself in the moment.
So you're thinking from those three assuring things you can say to yourself in the moment. And you will be so surprised and so relieved by the things that you tell yourself as you continue. You'll go deeper and deeper into your heart and say nicer and nicer things to yourself. And you'll feel better.
That's my improvisational method of tapping. Instead of the script, you say what you want to say to yourself in that moment. It's beautiful. My more advanced improvisational method involves tapping yourself all over your body, wherever you want, as long as you want, saying whatever you need to say to you.
It's changed lives and it could change yours. But we can save that for another day. Can we say, why don't you do a brief description of what tapping therapy is? Because maybe people just heard that and they're like, I have no fun talking about it.
That's when you bring both your fingertips. You can do it with one finger too. Well, so it's you go to see a therapist. There's different types of therapists, right?
There's talk therapists. There's different therapists that can guide you through your issues. One of them is it's less of like, you do talk, but it's more like mantras kind of like in tapping, right? Yeah, it's kind of cool because you're doing a tapping thing.
You're tapping your body while saying things to reassure yourself, right? Yeah. And there's like a script that they have. I've done two tapping sessions, maybe what?
Three years ago or something. But I found it the most effective form of therapy that I come across. Some people find it extremely effective. Yeah.
So, yeah, I wish I had taken notes. I didn't realize that Dr. Tapper was going to. It's just so basically they talk you through, like you might say, like, oh, I'm having a really hard time with this.
And then they go, okay, we're going to tap together and then repeat, you know, like, um, like what he was saying is like, you know, I give myself permission to feel these feelings today. Or, you know, but I know that I can move through this. Something like that, right? Yeah, you're sort of saying these things.
And I think they're tapping at points. I'm wondering if it's actually related to, like, you know, I wonder if it's actually related to acupuncture and acupressure. I mean, I did tap myself through my hardest moments with this, like, when I really realized what was happening and how out of control it felt and how threatening it felt. And because I did like the tapping, I'm not a huge therapy person.
I've kind of been, I've tried a few things with that. And, um, but I did like this because I think I like the ritual part of it. I like the physical part of it. Um, so, and I did find myself just saying, because there is a script, but I'm like, we get so wrapped up and like doing something the right way.
Well, what's the right way of tapping? What's the right way of breathing? What's the right way of breathing? I mean, I feel like we should have the permission to just use whatever we can, to cherry pick all of these things to comfort ourselves.
I think that's such a nice reminder to people because I'm one of those people who's very literal. And if I feel like I've been told that this is the way we tap or this is the way we do such and such, you know, you put on your shoes and you tie them, I will just go then like, oh, I have to do that. And even if it's uncomfortable or it feels like contrary to what I need or what I can do, I will continue to kind of like push myself in that direction because that's what I've been told. And I love hearing reminders that seem so simple and obvious, but I'm the person who really benefits from them of someone just saying like, you know what, you don't actually have to tie your shoes that way.
You can just find a way that feels completely comfortable for you. And that's how you put entire shoes on. You can just tap the way you want to tap. You don't have to follow the script and you're still going to see benefit from it.
You know, you can like it's, it's, it's an act of self care that like, I really appreciate reminders like that in the world. Like, you can make this your own way because it, I, I'm just one of those people who needs that extra permission to find my own way into something. Yeah. And I, I do really like tapping because I'll tell you it's, it's funny when I do do this, this pattern, you know, like top of my head, forehead, top of my eyes, side of my eyes, bottom of my eyes, I tap kind of hard, you know, maybe like eight times, you know, here.
And when I get down to my, I actually, every time I yawn, it starts to, it does relax me. It, I mean, right now I feel the tingle from it. Yeah. And so when I was going through my hardest time with this, the first few days when I was really realizing that something was wrong, as I did, just sort of, I'm like, I, I, you know, scripts and like, it has to be this way.
I mean, they're, you know what I mean? Like in mantras. And I find them, I'm like, a mantra is fine, but it has to change, you know. And also has to feel true to you, right?
It has to feel true to you. And you're, and you're internally, you're going to change. You're going to need to hear different words every day. You can't just, when you repeat something, you will become used to it.
And it will become ineffective. Like you, you need to change the way you speak to yourself. I find that I need to change the way I speak to myself. That makes sense to me too.
And it has to change with how I'm changing. It has to change with my environment. It has to change. So yeah, for this, you know, I mean, I was just like, like, you know, I mean, this kind of ridiculous, but I was like, this could be the best thing that's ever happened to me.
My ear changing away. That I think of music. The way that I think of my life. The way that I think of what I'm going to do in my future and how I'm going to support my family.
Somehow, this will be something that changes me in a good way. You know, I had to do that, you know, in the middle of the night. You know, I've been traveling so much. And, you know, there was the pressure of these dinosaur junior shows.
You know, we went back and replayed this record, you know, where you've been record from, you know, it was when I wasn't in the band, 1990, whatever, four. So we had these big Los Angeles shows and we rehearsed for the shows. When we rehearsed, my ear thing went fucking ballistic and it freaked me out. And I thought that I couldn't play.
And it was like, I have to describe it like it was almost like a film scene. You know, like a really sad turning point. Or like the baseball pitcher that all of a sudden can't pitch, you know, the... Just something.
Love of your life walking away from you. Yeah, just it felt very heavy. And I, when we're practicing, I felt so confused because the, like Jay's guitar just sounded like shards of glass and just everything felt very atonal. I didn't know where the notes were on the bass.
I felt very confused. And I had to, you know, I had to walk out of the room and then gather them, gather people and then sort of try to calmly explain what was happening. Because I didn't, I was waiting to see if the rehearsal would trigger me in that way. I was really scared.
And it did. It did trigger me that way. But then I went to an ENT the next day and who didn't resolve anything from me or tell me anything in particular, but just simply going to a doctor I find comforting. And he gave me a shitload of Prednisone.
Which I like because Prednisone's like a speed. So it really, it does keep me going. So I knew I could get through the shows in LA and I just needed more hearing protection. So I tripled up and I was able to find a place where I could really hear my bass notes and not hear too much guitar and just focus on what Murph and I were doing and then feel the songs again.
It seemed like you really enjoyed the shows. And I really felt it. It felt it was so cathartic when we played. I was because I was thinking like is this my last time around?
Is this it? When I do speak to someone who understands my condition? Well they tell me that I can't be under, I can't work this way. But you know, I think I had an accident with a near plug in Sao Paulo.
And I think that's what happened. But I'm going to go to the audiologist tomorrow and but anyway the shows were good. And I've got these, I made it to the full conclusion tour with this condition because it came on during that tour. And then I have some sebodot show, I have a sebodot show coming up in a few days.
I'm going to get through that too. You know, no matter what, like I told you, we'll get through this. Well when I was putting this episode together today, you know it was really fun to do it. Good.
And the thing in my ear was it was there but it wasn't distracting me. Yeah. And it's like, I hope. You know, I mean I've worried that the podcast is well, you know, also dangerous for your ears.
Well that's entirely up to me. Yeah. I mean the thing is, the thing is, I've been pretty, I have not been kind with my ears over the years because as much as the dinosaur genius is a very loud band, what I do to myself when I'm recording is easily as damaging. Headphone work.
I mean Pete Townsend. That was really loud too. Pete Townsend, you know, he's apparently has deafness. I think he's deaf in one ear.
But people assumed that it was because the who was so loud because they were extremely loud band, you know, sort of the prototypes for something like that. He's a big wall, walls of amplifiers, you know, very loud but he attributed it to recording at home. Yeah. You know, these are all, you know, you don't want to be motivated by damage, you know, and I was thinking about that too because there are some, you know, lifestyle changes that I've been wanting to make and I was hoping that they wouldn't be motivated by damage.
You know what I mean? Like, although then this happened, I realized, I mean I didn't. That isn't that usually what does it mean? It does it.
It's like most people are actually motivated to change when, you know, they're faced with damage they've done to themselves. Yeah, it's like you. Or that's happened to them, you know, environmental damage or whatever and then they remove themselves from it they move or, you know, yeah. I mean, I'd had many instances where I would remove ear plugs after shows and then it would switch the pressure in my ears and I would actually kind of go deaf and ear for like a day or two or I would have reduced hearing because of the way I would remove my hearing protection.
And I thought about that and I've been careful but I think that day in Sao Paulo, we were really tired because we hadn't slept in 48 hours. We were doing almost fly days every day in South America and it was a really fun show. We pulled it off. We were all like exhausted but we pulled off the show and the crowd was amazing.
And then, you know, I walked backstage and I noticed my, I have wear two ear plugs. I wear a foam ear plug and then a wax ear plug over the top of it. And my wax ear plug came out. It was like hanging in my hair, you know, just this big wax booger hanging in my hair.
I'm like, oh, looks like my wax ear plug fell out. And then I'm like, well, I got to be careful getting this other one out. And then I pulled it out and I just felt this numbness, you know, and it didn't go away. It's been a month.
And the numbness has evolved or mutated into this, these Q-SYS. Dipla hyper Q-SYS. Hi, Dr. Tapper.
One more time. Just want to say, this is the end of the episode, what should it be? Why it doesn't have to be? It does feel like the end of the episode.
You know what I mean? Good timing. As much as you need to talk with your lovely wife. It's totally fine.
Anyway, I feel like looking into my improvisational tapping method you can get in touch with me at Dr. Tapper, DR Tapper, at, I should listen to you back to that.com. Thank you.