Lesbians Brutalized By a Drive-By Farting

On Today's ShowTim kicks off October with one of the most sadistic “Test of Patience” bits yet—an extended, soul-crushing string of parody covers of Cherebra Venti viral 2015 anthem “I Don’t Know.” Every possible genre gets the treatment: Top 40 pop, ska revival, throat singing, nu-metal, redneck country, even a Christian praise remix where “Jesus” gets tacked onto every filthy lyric. If you make it through the full barrage, congratulations—you’re officially broken.Outside of musical torture, today’s show delivers a buffet of weirdness:A lesbian couple claims they were victims of a fart-based hate crime at the grocery store. Spoiler: it wasn’t Matthew Shepard-level trauma.An entitled mom thinks the world should worship her screeching eight-month-old at a restaurant. Tim strongly disagrees.Charlie Kirk’s death inspires one of the worst Linda Finkel Hall of Fame songs ever. It’s earnest, tuneless, and uncomfortably Jesus-y.In Florida (our most fucked up state), a man slaughters and pan-fries his pet peacocks just to spite his neighbors. Another Sunshine State freak gets busted for AI-generated child porn.The legendary Penis Man graffiti tagger strikes again—only this time, cops finally snag the culprit.The show closes with Tim reflecting on songs that take you back, bizarre listener voicemails, and his traumatic middle-school bus crash set to the soundtrack of Duran Duran.Cold Open: Radio Caldessaville drives you insane with endless covers of “I Don’t Know.”DV Audio Clips:The “lesbian fart hate crime” TikTok meltdown.Mom justifies baby-screaming in restaurants.Linda Finkel Hall of Fame: Cringe tribute to Charlie Kirk’s death.News of the Weird:Florida man fries peacocks.Florida man arrested for AI-generated child porn.Tempe’s newest “Penis Man” finally caught.Listener Voicemails: Crack rock Mario music, Davide’s Jewish wish stopping the rapture, and a trip down Timmy Boo’s memory lane.Closing Torture: An indie-folk stomp-clap remix of I Don’t Know (because of course).Segments & Highlights