Let The US Government Suggest The Best Foods To Shove Up Your Ass

On Today’s Episode:A deeply unsettling voicemail left on a masturbation enthusiast’s website somehow turns into a nostalgic piss-filled coming-of-age story.Sponsor spotlight: Chaz the Tandem Stacker pays $25 to reopen ancient Discord wounds and summon the ghost of listener drama past.Tim explains (again) why he refuses to referee crybaby Discord meltdowns and why threatening to cancel your Sideshow membership is not the power move you think it is.Andrew Tate re-emerges to remind the world he’s “too smart for books,” while angrily yelling about how rich and intelligent he is.Tate also accidentally becomes a thought leader in trans discourse by posing the most important philosophical question of our time:Megan Fox with a dick… or Hulk Hogan with a pussy?A mean-girl TikToker named Cade goes on a drunken, Ozempic-fueled, fat-shaming meltdown, gets flagged for “dangerous weight loss behavior,” and absolutely spirals.Jesse Lee Peterson conducts what may be the most uncomfortable interview ever recorded, repeatedly asking a Jewish guest to explain whether Jews “Jew people down.”Jesse also explains why Black stereotypes are “true,” learns nothing, and somehow keeps talking.A Christian singer with the vocal tone of a sentient amphibian praises Jesus like he’s broadcasting from another dimension.AI strikes again as a federal nutrition website routes users to Elon Musk’s Grok chatbot — which promptly recommends the safest foods to shove up your ass.Government-approved rectal produce rankings include bananas, cucumbers, zucchini, and a helpful reminder to carve a flared base.A repeat offender in the UK is sentenced to more prison time after — shocker — masturbating on trains again just days after being released.Tim offers unsolicited advice on how not to aggressively stare at women while cranking your hog in public.Listener texts cover hating children, bad math tutorials, counting how many times Tim has said the N-word over 26 years, and a passionate hatred of words ending in “-ed.”Voicemails feature fake Unicorn Hamsters, depressed laughers, zipper hoodie reviews, bro-hug negotiations, and a perfectly timed “Hello, faggot” to end the segment.Sideshow signup remindersPatreon perksSponsorship infoThe 4HairyCunt text lineA renewed call for horny, borderline-illegal Harry Cunt jingle lyricsPlus: