Let's Unpack That #11: Bad Advice That Sounds Good

Send us Fan Mail“If they wanted to, they would.” “Be the bigger person.” “Time heals all wounds.” These lines can sound clean and confident, but when you’re living real life with limited capacity, messy relationships, and actual grief, they can land like a brick wall. We sit down as two counselors who hear these sayings in sessions, group chats, and counseling rooms, and we pull them apart with the nuance they rarely get online.We talk about why behavior isn’t always a simple measure of desire and how burnout, skills, fear, and unclear expectations change what people can realistically do. We also get honest about boundaries: “being the bigger person” can support safety and de-escalation, but it can also become permission to stay silent, skip accountability, and abandon yourself. If you’ve ever wondered whether speaking up is “too much,” this conversation offers a grounded way to think about integrity, communication, and self-respect.Then we move into grief and loss, where platitudes tend to multiply. We explain why “time heals all wounds” and “everything happens for a reason” often function as silver-lining pressure, especially when pain is sticky and long-lasting. We also challenge the idea that you must love yourself before you can love others, naming how connection and relationships can be part of healing rather than a reward for being fully “fixed.”If you’re a counselor, helping professional, or just someone tired of toxic positivity, you’ll leave with better language, better questions, and a clearer sense of what actually helps. Subscribe, share with a colleague or friend, and leave a review, then tell us which cliché you want us to unpack next.What do you think? Send us your questions or topics you'd like us to unpack!OCA Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/ohiocounselingConnect with Us on Any/All Socials at our Link Tree!****If you’re a counselor in Ohio and would like to get involved as part of production or as a guest, or know someone who might be interested, please email us at [email protected]!****Created by the OCA's Media, Public Relations, and Membership (MPRM) Committee & its Podcast Subcommittee·Hosted by Victoria Frazier & Marisa Cargill·Pre-Production & Coordination by Marisa Cargill and Victoria Frazier·Editing by Marisa Cargill·Original music selections by Elijah Satoru Wood