Letting Go of “Shoulds” in Midlife Burnout: Softening the Rules That Keep Us Burnt Out

In this solo episode of Midlife Reclaimed, psychologist and author Shannon A. Swales gently explores one of the quiet but powerful drivers of midlife burnout for women: the weight of “shoulds.” Those internalised expectations — I should be coping better… I shouldn’t need this much rest… I should be able to do it all — often sit beneath chronic stress, exhaustion, and self-criticism. And yet, they’re rarely questioned.In this reflective conversation, Shannon unpacks:What “shoulds” really are (and how they differ from values)Why they tend to intensify in midlifeHow they keep us overextended and disconnected from our limitsWhy rest alone doesn’t resolve burnout if the internal pressure remainsHow to begin softening expectations with compassion — without guilt, selfishness, or giving up on what mattersThis episode isn’t about lowering standards or opting out of responsibility. It’s about replacing rigid rules with self-respect, discernment, and values — so you can live with more ease, sustainability, and care for yourself in midlife.As always, this episode offers general information and reflection, not personal therapy. You’re invited to listen gently, pause when needed, and take what supports you.Host: Shannon Swales: Clinical Psychologist, award-winning author, and midlife woman who’s walked through burnout and come out the other side. Shannon combines clinical wisdom with lived experience to support others navigating chronic stress, burnout, and big life transitions. Through gentle conversations and evidence-based insights, she helps women reconnect with themselves, reclaim their energy, and grow through what once felt like breaking points.If you enjoy the Midlife Reclaimed Podcast, join our community:• Midlife Reclaimed Online Community - a place to come back home to self - https://midlife-reclaimed.mn.co/• Social Media: Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn @shannon.a.swales• 1:1 Therapy: www.shannonaswales.com/therapySubscribe to my Mailing List: www.shannonaswales.com/subscribe and receive a free eJournal to assist in coming home to yourself.Disclaimer: This podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship with Shannon A Swales. The views expressed are general & not a substitute for personalised therapy. If in distress, seek professional help. Remember—you don’t have to face your struggles alone.DisclaimerEngaging with this podcast does not intend to create, nor does it create, a therapist-client relationship between you and Shannon A Swales. All views, opinions, and tips expressed by me or my guests are general in nature and not a replacement for personalised therapy. As I have done for myself, I encourage anyone experiencing distress to seek professional support. In Australia, if you are in a life-threatening emergency, please dial 000. For immediate counselling, contact Lifeline (13 11 14) or 13YARN (13 92 76) for First Nation Australians. Stay safe, and remember—you don’t have to face your struggles alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.