Leviathan

Yeah, dude. What's up? I haven't heard exactly like I've just been there. I don't know.

They're keeping a pretty tight look. I know. My buddy Tom heard himself like that as well. Yeah.

I'm pretty burnt. I've heard. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Do you live forever? I'm Dan. I'm Brent. How's it going?

It's going, man. It's that time of the season. It's that season of the time. Time of the season for love.

Yeah. That's the song by the zombies. What? Yeah.

How's that about zombies? No, the band's name is the zombies. Oh, I thought you meant the song. No, time of the season.

Oh, I was thinking of, um, um, what's the name? What's the name? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?

Yeah. Yeah. I can show you the album. Press X or no.

I mean, maybe they did cover of it. Don't speak in memes. You're better than that. I know, right?

It bothered you. I tell like on your face, you're like, I should have said that. I've just been busy. Same thing every time.

Yeah. Work. Yeah. Work.

I'm trying to get a little healthier. Yeah. Problem is I can't seem to diet and exercise. Like I've gotten really good at coming out.

Really good at coming home and exercising. Really? I mean, not today, but because we're doing a podcast. I did twice.

Yeah. You leave. So I try to just get in like 20, 30 minutes of just something. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to do that or I'll do yoga or I'll just walk around the neighborhood. But then you're eating like shit work. So it counteracts.

I'm not even like shit. I'm just not eating that great. Yeah. Like I'm not dieting.

I'm not watching sugar. I'm not just like, not lunch. Whatever I want. Yeah.

My problems, my problems like sweets. My problems bread. Just. Yeah.

Bread's up there. Uh, just garbage. I just eat garbage. You put this.

This. Pasta owned bread. Absolutely. I'll take it.

Thank you, sir. Yeah. Like this fucking pasta bread bowls from what is it? Domino's.

Yeah. I don't know. Like what fucking. That's why it's delicious.

Evil scientists came up with that shit. Hey, would you like to die? But be really cozy when you do just like drift off into your heart attack. You'll have an.

You'll have a stroke and you're sleeping. Yeah. You won't even feel it. Just like that cheese.

Go out just like Sean Connery like a boss. I want to sleep like a king. I want to do an experiment because you know, everything that's delicious is both sugar and fat together. Yeah.

Of course. Ice cream pizza. Butterbread. So I'm going to take like a fat and sugar that you would never think would be good together.

Yeah. And see if it works. But I haven't thought of anything good. Uh, I don't know.

Let's think about it. Fat and sugar. Yeah. Okay.

So I'm thinking pork is good. Okay. Okay. Let's, let's do some, some fats.

So we'll go fats pork, which is large, right? Large pork. Is that large? Is that a large?

It's a what's shortening? I think shortening is finished. I don't know vegetable shortening. Yeah.

Is that like congealed vegetable oil? I think it's yeah. I think it's basically like the same way margarine is the butter. Plastic.

Maybe not. Seriously, I don't eat margarine. I don't think anybody should. That stuff's weird.

Yeah. I know. It's all my weapons. It's delicious.

It's like melted plastic. I mean, yes. And now that's all your wife buys. Why don't you get butter?

Well, I, when I go to a sort when I go grocery, I buy butter. But if we happen to be out, because it's soft and it's easy to spread. That's why people get it. But they make spreadable butter.

I know. That's what I buy. Oh, yeah. You get the, what was it the, uh, lain of lakes?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we do do.

Terry calls it a good butter. Cause she always gets the big old tub of crocker. What is it? Yeah, like country crock.

Country crock. And it's like margarine country crock of shit. Yeah. You know, flies won't even eat it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It won't rot well, actually it will rot.

They're not eventually but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Flies don't eat it.

Think about it. And hey, what the fuck is wrong with butter? It's cholesterol. My cholesterol is fine.

I know. My cholesterol is actually insanely low. Yeah. Maybe you should eat some more butter.

But I eat butter all the time. That's what I'm saying. I just eat regular butter. I don't write about it.

Makes it. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. That's a delicious butter.

Uh, butter. Uh, bacon. Bacon. Yeah.

Bacon. Broken. Broken. Uh, like your pulled pork.

Broken. Pull pork. That's not bad. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a fatty meat. Fatty meat. I'll just write that down.

Um, pulled pork. Um, what's the, uh, what's the belly called pork belly? Pork belly. Cracklin.

Right? Oh, I guess that's like fried. That kind of counts too though. That counts too.

Yeah. Cause you're trying to come up with a mix of a food. Yeah. Cracklins.

Um, pork rinds, but we'll know the difference. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you.

Um, yeah. So what other, what other things are like super fatty, super fatty. That's really it. Right.

Uh, I mean, other than the meats, there's also nuts technically our fats, red nuts, nuts, almond, peanut butter, That's fat. So now we need carbs. Fat carbs that makes the greatest meal. Fat and carbs, fat and sugar, ideally.

Yeah, sugar or carbs because that's why sandwich just tastes great. Okay, so the carbs break down your body. The natural type would be fruit. Ooh, I didn't even think of fruit.

What do you think? Caramel? I was thinking caramel. Caramel.

Chocolate, obviously. Molasses. Molasses. Maple.

Just plain sugar. Maple. Regular like cane sugar. Honey.

Sugar beets. Ooh. Never had a sugar beat, don't think. You kind of indirectly have.

Did you know that? You would think that most sugar comes from sugar cane, right? No, most of them come from sugar beets. Yeah.

I've never had a slice of sugar beat. Oh, me either. That's a good point. Mm-hmm.

Honey. Honey's a good one. Oh, honey's a really good one. I love honey.

It's such a unique taste. Um, corn syrup. I guess we got to put it, right? Yeah, I guess corn syrup.

Um, corn starch. That's a starch, not a sh- Yeah, corn syrup. I mean, I guess technically a starch. Yeah, we haven't even started on the carbs, like bread, potatoes, carrots.

Or a very, very, very traditional. I feel like this was like the, uh, like the impetus of like the people that came up with the redos. Right. They're just like, okay, we need a chemical that does this to your brain.

Well, they go spicy and sweet instead of the, uh, well, they, they use stuff that does the same thing. Yeah. Just like MSG, which isn't bad for you, by the way. No, this shouldn't consume large quality.

Yeah. Because they want you to consume salt and sugar. So technically any of those two things together should taste delicious. Okay, let's look here.

And another thing about another of them sound that bad. Let's go with, uh, with our, clearly our number one choice because we couldn't stop talking about it butter. Yeah. So we got fruit butter, molasses butter.

Okay. Fruit butter. Chocolate butter. I've had that.

I mean, chocolate has butter in it, doesn't it? Does it? I don't know. Pretty sure.

I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, I'm sure like chocolate cake. Yeah.

Chill like that. Um, I was gonna say fruit butter doesn't make any sense, but then you've, we've all had them before, little pies. They, they, they, they, they. Well, like butter frosting.

Oh. That's, I mean, that's exactly what frosting is. Yeah. Butter and sugar.

Yeah. So yeah, you got honey bacon. Okay. Boom.

Here it is. How come they don't have sweet cracklings? Sweet cracklings, bro. That's a good one.

It is like sweet flavored pork rinds. Like sweet and spicy. I guess barbecue. I guess that's why barbecue goes so good on bacon, huh?

Yeah. Or not baking a, but like pulled pork. Yep. Just cause the sweet and fat.

Mm. Maple nuts. Mavens. Yeah.

Yeah. Sure. I mean, that's why like your breakfast cereal kind of shit. Yeah.

Let's see. Caramel poured pork. Old pork. Yeah.

I might be stretching it. It doesn't sound good. I put dark chocolate in my chili. But then again, barbecue sauce is made with those.

Yeah. You know, same kind of. It's not quite the same thing, is it? Yeah.

What about... I'm molasses, sirloin. Molasses, sirloin. I'm gonna be there.

You never really see people put some sweet on sirloin, right? On steaks. Yeah, not really. I mean, if anything.

Though I had a coffee rub that I tried on steaks not too long ago, it was not bad. Yeah, I love coffee. Yeah, for some reason like, it was like coffee and clove and like, I'll forget about it. I'll just forget clove is a spice.

Clove is a shit dude. It's like a sleeper weapon on certain things. Yeah, it is. But I always forget about it.

Especially like savory soups and pastas and stuff. Especially with tomatoes. And you can't overdo it. Or like a red clam chowder with clove in it.

That's why tomato pie is so good. You was good. What's that? Tomato pie tastes delicious.

You ever had tomato pie? Never had a tomato pie. My mom makes them. They're really good.

It's the southern thing. It's tomato and cheese and a pie crust. What? I know you're like weird tomato and cheese.

But again, sure that... No, it does make sense. I mean, tomato is a fruit. Yeah.

Huh. I've never heard it. But maybe. That's pretty popular down here too.

It's the fragrant. So my grandma has this recipe that I always make. Not always, but sometimes I do. It's so weird.

When I tell people it, they're like, that's the grossest thing I've ever heard. What are you talking about? It's called banana salad. Oh, I think you've told me about the banana salad.

It's sliced banana, mayonnaise and sugar. What the fuck is that? It's delicious, man. But it's only one time mayonnaise works.

Banana's mayonnaise and sugar? Yeah. Well, again, fat sugar. Sounds disgusting.

It does, but it tastes so good on the tongue. Well, I mean, another good fat would be eggs too, right? Yikes. Ooh.

Sweet double eggs. Sweet double eggs. That probably would work. Yeah.

I think that would work. Welcome to Dan and Frank Cook forever. Do you see that thing online? I don't remember where it's from.

It's probably from Facebook. My brother sent it to me. It's like a fun thing to do with holidays is make double eggs. And you put like fucking ghost pepper sauce in one of them.

Oh, man. And just one. See who gets it? You'll know when they eat it.

But you don't like mix it in. You just like put it in under the filling. So that nobody knows which one it is. You can't tell by the tent or anything.

And then just evil. You just wait. Oh, you tell them that there's one. No, you don't.

Okay. He just waits until somebody freaks out. Yeah, I got it. We're giving you some ghost pepper chocolates.

Oh, wow. A little tiny chocolates. That size of a dime. And they're hot.

And I took one home and I was like, Hey kids, you ever try this chocolate? My daughter. Nice. No.

Smart enough. But when he says like, I'll try it and ate it. Oh, no. It was, uh, our, my niece's boyfriend was hanging out with us.

And yeah, he was like, it's really hot. Like, yeah, it's ghost pepper. It was freaking out. Yeah.

I mean, only last for like 10, 15 minutes. It's a long time when your mouth's on fire though. It really is. And supposedly that's what it is.

It's not that it's necessarily that hot. It's the length of time. It's just like lingers. Sticks around.

Yeah. And then you try to drink water. So then it just doesn't help. Dude.

Super intense. Super nice. I'm not a huge like hot for hot, sick pepper guy. Not either.

What do you guys typically make on Christmas? Ham. You guys do ham? They might do a turkey.

Yeah. Why not? Well, also I didn't do one for Thanksgiving. I was thinking about doing one for Christmas.

I just prefer a ham over turkey, man. Turkey's always dry. Yeah. I prefer ham over turkey too.

Making ham sandwiches afterwards. What? It's just super salty. We made a ham like last week.

We bought a ham just to make a ham like to have for lunch meat and everything else and dinner. Right. And so we ate off of it the first night and we were letting it sit on the counter to cool. Yep.

And one of the dogs got it off the counter. Damn. How much of it did they get? I mean, it was off the counter.

So it wasn't kind of anything off of it. But it was like, oh, we had eight. I mean, did you catch him or did you get to go to town on it a little bit? I mean, I was like, oh, no.

And now we're later. I bet they fought over that shit. I never heard anything. That's the weird thing.

I think it's just my one dog who's the biggest dog because he can actually get up and get stuff. But if you push it back on the ledge, he doesn't mess with it. But if it's an eye view from the floor without jumping up, he's like, yeah, I'm going to get that. Yeah, they're probably just like, be cool.

Be cool. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.

Be cool. Go bar. So we went up to man. What was the last step?

So we did. It was a little while ago. Last month. Yeah, it was about a month ago.

It wasn't that long. We did too. It came off a little aggressive, I thought. We're going to do what we want, motherfuckers.

Yeah, it did come off a little aggressive, but like, this is our shit. So that compliments about it. And I think it was, yeah, I know. That was nice.

Thanks for people who were listening. Talk about you, Alan. Yeah, those killer, killer fans. And just so you know, we're not purposely excluding anyone because, I mean, lots of people want to be on the show, which I think is cool.

We just don't let anybody on the show that way. We don't have to worry about favoritism. And also we only have two mics. And there's that too.

And we can talk about that. I've got four inputs on the recorder. So you want to buy your own thing in court, maybe in court and stand and pop filter. Yeah, you know, all the stuff we need.

And then also if you could host us at your house when we do it. Yeah, it'd be cool to do. Right. Like you had like a separate building, like a garage or something that we could like, yeah, play poker in or, but coronavirus still here.

So we're still these episodes are coming out a little closer. Other than the big break we had. But this, you know, I mean, have you taken a vaccine or you get the vaccine? Have you taken a vaccine?

No, I got the immune test though. Did you really? Did you come back? I haven't got the results yet.

I just want to know. Dude, I know I've had it. I know I've been exposed, but have you got to be what just because you're working in hospital for several months and a jail and an old folks home and a job recently. I was in the same room for two days.

Like as close as you and I are right now, I was in the same room with the dude for two days and he like came in on the third day and was like telling the other guy who was working with like, I should probably go cool. And I was like, awesome. Awesome. And man, there's been at least three times this year where I just feel.

I just feel like I'm dragging. Yeah. Like not really sick. And I'm really starting to wonder if the vitamin D shit is helping that much because like, I've been down like really, really tired for no reason, but had no symptoms of a cold, at least three times this year.

I had to have something. I doubt it was coronavirus, but my daughter's been feeling sick, but like you don't have fever. Like I don't know. It's just just feeling rundown and sickly.

Yeah, it's run down. Yeah. Get her some vitamin D man. Not to check it out.

I mean, it's been overcast for what like three weeks now. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. What are you doing like Christmas wise?

You do have lights? You got inflatables? Nah, I know. How do you feel about inflatables?

You think it's cheating? It is, but it's okay. I understand. I don't have time to put the lights either.

I really want to get one of those big fucking inflatable dragons and so does Terry. But we're always like, do we want to spend $180 on a giant flammable dragon? I think what I'm going to do is just get way better Halloween decorations and then just throw Christmas hats on all the Halloween decorations. Right?

Because that seems to be what they do. Man, I just never take anything down from Halloween, just throw Christmas glitter on top of everything. Yeah. Try dragons like leviathans.

Yeah. The deep sea monsters of the Bible. Yeah. Other stories.

Yeah. So this week we're not talking about food or anything like that. We're actually talking about leviathans. Yeah.

We've got kind of a topic instead of just coming in and bullshitting. But it's still going to be mostly bullshit. Mostly bullshit. So I'm sure like you, I'm sorry, sure like me, you thought leviathans giant sea monsters, but when you try to search leviathans, literally the only thing that comes up is Bible stuff.

Yeah. Because that's where the name comes from. Yes. But I do have to say that the episode came from a super catchy song by Volbeat.

It's called Leviathan. Very catchy. And I had listened to it like three times in a row when it, when, uh, Brett and I were talking about doing this episode and I'm like, uh, uh, why don't we talk about leviathans, man? He's like, what do you mean?

Like sea creatures? I'm like, you know, like Godzilla and shit. Yeah, I definitely feel like we're, uh, missing out on doing one on campus or Santi Claus, but that's always, there's so many, so many other times we can do it. Yeah, like next week.

Yeah, exactly. Just all depends on if you can pry yourself away from your family. So leviathans. So like you said, it originates.

As far as I know, originates in the Bible, but it probably has a lot to do with mythology at the time. Well, and Christianity is known for taking other religious icons and kind of a, you know, converting them to a couple of convert. Oh, I mean, even the Bible that I have in front of me that I'm going to read some stuff from, uh, about, you know, the passages that mentioned Leviathan, uh, it's a annotated Bible. So it's got like little facts and like references down at the bottom of the page.

And like at one point it even says like early Christians adopted, you know, popular mythology from different regions, especially near the water. And like, I mean, it's pretty close to the Mediterranean Sea. Yeah. You know, leviathans are kind of like almost like Bigfoot where every country kind of has its own little mini version of it.

Yeah, you're right. Probably a lot definitely with Asia. Like, uh, yeah, there's like a handful of ones from Asia. I mean, it depends on how you want to look at it because they have water dragons for sure.

Yeah. They have, um, the only bozo, the, the, the, the Japanese, uh, kind of, you know, the movie monsters. Yeah. Well, I looked up the only boo-zoo bozo.

Did you see King of Monsters? The newest Godzilla? I don't think I did. It's pretty cool.

Yeah. I liked it. You should check it out. I like the 1990s version.

The 90s one isn't bad. Everyone always does that much. It's super cheesy, but I feel like they made Godzilla too big in the new Godzilla movies. Yeah, he's pretty big.

He's like, I mean, he should be his tall, tall, the King of Monsters one that's supposed to be like, it's supposed to go along with the King Kong of Skull Island. Okay. See, I feel like they're making Kong too big. Really?

How big do you think he could actually be? I mean, as big as a house? No, no, no. I mean, he should definitely be several stories, but like not like 40 stories, which he seemed to be, I felt like he was way too tall.

I don't know. No, I don't know. Uh, did you always realize that Godzilla was a good guy? Yes.

Like as a kid? Um, I remember watching. I did too. Like I never, I never felt like he was a bad guy watching it.

Like I was never found him to be scary in any way. I always summoned him to defeat a worser monster. Yeah, worser. Except for the Mothman monster.

Mothra. Because I was like, yeah, it's going to make me sleepy in school. I think Mothra ends up being like his buddy. Yeah, it's weird.

Like it was almost like, well, yeah, I think they like team up to beat Mechagotz in it. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

I remember all that from the Nintendo game too. I used to play the shit out again. Really? I don't remember that.

Yeah. I didn't have an Nintendo though. Yeah. It's almost like the ET game where it's like this doesn't really represent what I'm thinking of, but it's a giant lizard and you can turn blue and spitfire occasionally.

It wasn't fire, right? It's radio. With you. Hold your hand like that.

I totally thought that you were like absentmindedly doing that textbook thing with your pen into like the side of my Bible. Oh, no. Which I wouldn't matter that much about, but it would be weird. Yeah, no, no.

Yeah, I don't. Don't mark on that. I'm not going to. Well, one of the monsters from Godzilla was the Hydra.

Hydra, yeah. Yeah. Which that, there's some of the mentions of Leviathan and some of the other just text mentions it has multiple heads. Yes, it does.

Actually, would it be a big deal if I read some of the passages? Feel free. Just for a reference. Well, why are you looking up?

So you're up and showing them for Joe. Yeah, Joe. Yeah, and Psalms. Yeah, because it's also mentioned in the Book of Enoch, which is a Jewish text.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't think I have the Book of Enoch. It's not a Jewish text. It's an apocryphal text.

Yeah, but it's only study and Judaism, not. It's not studied anywhere. It's not. No, it was stricken from the Bible.

We do a whole episode on Gnosticism, man. Yeah. Oh, that's the word. I didn't know how to pronounce it.

Yeah. Gnosticism. But that's one of the key texts from that. But yeah, that does tie into some of the other stuff.

Yeah, yeah. It's very much in the same wheelhouse. I'm serious. It's not a pun.

So just for context here, if you don't know, the Book of Job is basically like a wager between God and the devil about whether or not his servant Job will break. Yeah, basically God's like, Joe's the best. He's always so good. Yeah, he's my dude.

Yeah, because you treat him good. Yeah, because he was a God's family. Yeah. Burned his crops.

Would he still love you? Yeah, it's really kind of a messed up story if you look too closely at it. Kind of just kind of like kind of puffing his chest into Job's face a little bit. He's like, you're mortal.

You don't understand what I do. You don't. Well, not only that, but you can't do what I do, bro. You can't do what I do.

And what's interesting is in one way for him to illustrate that you can't do what I do, he describes Leviathan to Job, which you can tell from the text, like Job must have knowledge of somehow because he is acting like, Hey, I mean, could you do that? Can you do this? Yeah. So let's see.

So it's Job, chapter 41. Can you pull in the Leviathan with a fish hook or tie down his tongue with a rope? Can you put a cord through his nose or pierce his jaw with a hook? Will he be begging you for mercy?

Will he speak to you in gentle words? Can you make an agreement with him or for you to take him as a slave? Can you make him a pet or a bird or put a leash on him for your girls? Will traitors barter for him?

Can you fill up his side with harpoons? It goes on and on and on. But basically, no one is fierce enough to rouse him. I skipped a page.

That's why that looks weird. Who then is able to stand against me? Who has a clam against me that I must pay everything I ever have and belongs to me? I will not fail to speak of his limbs, his strength, his graceful form, who can strip off his outer coat or approach him with a bridle, who dares open the doors of his mouth, ringed about with fearsome teeth, his back has rose of shields, tightly sealed together, each so close that no air can pass between.

They're joined fast one another, they cling together and cannot be parted. His snorting throws out flashes of light, his eyes of the rays of dawn, fire brands steamed from his mouth, sparks and fires shoot out. Smoke pours from his nostrils from a boiling pot over a fire of reeds, his breath, basically breathes fire. He's super tough.

And you can't fuck with him. I mean, that's... What's going on? Yeah, that's basically the gist of that passage there.

So supposedly Leviathan is a female. Right, yeah. Whereas the hemat is a male. Yeah, behemoth is another of God's giant monster creatures that lives on land.

Lives on land. Leviathan is the other sea and then I think it's Zez. Yes, it is. It's like Zez or Zez is of the air.

So some flying beast of some kind. They don't really give too much detail on either. Well, I have a video. Yeah.

And a lot of people think that like, like, the dinosaurs are some kind, like some kind of giant T-rex or... I mean, the crazy thing is something like this could be a live still. What do you mean? Like an actual Leviathan.

You mean like a giant sea monster? Yeah, it could be sleeping at the bottom of the ocean. Well, they mentioned that Leviathan was 300 miles long, I think is the... Well...

What most accounts call it? Which is, it was so long you couldn't see the end of it. Which accounts are you talking about? Just from different religious texts.

Oh, from other... Okay. Yeah, so it's linked as like immeasurable. Right.

Like, you know, humans just can't comprehend how large it is. Makes sense. Yeah, you never know. Yeah, the Meg went down with Jason Statham.

But yeah, so supposedly there were two of them at one point. I'm only a female. Supposedly. Supposedly.

Supposedly. Sorry, man, we'll get through it. I know. It's rough.