Life After Bipolar & Depression, Getting Locked in a Rubber Room, Quitting Alcohol and Picking Up Crack

Doug experienced abuse in early childhood, and at age 12 when his father left, he spiraled into severe depression, suicidality, and repeated psychiatric hospitalizations. As a teenager, he discovered alcohol and used it to manage his symptoms while earning a master’s degree in social work and working at a suicide hotline, even as hospitalizations and heavy drinking continued.In his mid-30s, after a suicide attempt and abruptly quitting alcohol addiction, Doug was introduced to crack cocaine, triggering years of intense crack addiction, medical crises, psychiatric admissions, and failed treatment attempts. During this period, he lost his marriage, access to his child, and his freedom, eventually serving nearly six years in Texas prison for robbery-related charges.While incarcerated, Doug found purpose in peer leadership and addiction recovery, serving as a sexual-assault-prevention educator, 12-step sponsor, and chapel volunteer. After his release, he experienced relapses but reframed them as part of his sobriety journey and recovery rather than failure, rebuilding his life, his mental health, and his relationship with his daughters through honesty and accountability.Doug later remarried, adopted his stepdaughter, and built a career training peer specialists and advising states on mental-health, recovery, and justice-system reform. He authored The Path of Rocks and Thorns, blending his personal story with leadership and recovery insights, and continues to speak, train, and return to prisons as a free man to help others find a path forward.GUESTDoug SmithDouglas Smith, MSSW, is a leadership development trainer, certified trauma‑informed coach, and author of The Path of Rocks and Thorns: Leadership Lessons from a Prison Cell. He has over a decade of experience in mental health and justice policy, including roles at the Texas House of Representatives, the Texas Center for Justice and Equity, and as an adjunct professor at the University of Texas at Austin. Doug’s trauma‑informed leadership work is shaped by his master’s in social work, professional coaching training, and his own lived experience with mental illness, addiction, and incarceration.Learn more about Doug’s Book, The Path of Rocks and ThornsConnect with Doug Smith on LinkedInLearn more about D-Degree Coaching & TrainingMatt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.Find out more at harmonygrovebh.com  My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.comFind us on YouTube @MyLastRelapse and follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17About Harmony Grove Behavioral Health Harmony Grove delivers outpatient addiction and mental health treatment focused on wellness, creativity, and authentic human connection—providing a supportive space for healing that extends beyond traditional clinical care.Harmony Grove’s IOP in Houston, Texas, is more than a program; it’s a lifeline for those ready to take the next step in their recovery. We are ready to meet you where you are and find your unique path to change. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.Host: Matthew HandyProducer: Eva SheieAssistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah BurkhartEngineering: Chris MannTheme music: Survive The Tide, Machina AeonCover Art:  DMARKMy Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.comQuestions this episode answers:Why does relapse happen long before someone actually picks up — and can it be predicted?What is "relapse prediction" and how is it different from relapse prevention?Why did writing a memoir about trauma trigger Doug's own relapse two months in?Why is blaming the client when they relapse morally wrong — and who should be held accountable?How does the amygdala hijack recovery before the person even realizes they're in danger?Why do counting sober days make relapse more devastating rather than less?What does the treatment industry actually mean when it says "evidence-based" — and why is it a lie?What happens when fentanyl hits someone who relapses after months of sobriety?