Life After Getting Hooked on Pills at 13, OD’ing on Tylenol, & Conceiving My Son on LSD at Ren Fest

Jessica's childhood fractured early. Her alcoholic father went to prison for a DWI, and by the time she was six, her parents had divorced. Her mother remarried, folding the family into a blended household with an adopted stepsister who had split personality disorder. That stepsister would go on to accuse both her own father and Jessica's stepfather of molestation, and eventually began self-harming in front of the family. When the situation became untenable, they cut the stepsister off and fled to the country, hoping for a fresh start.It wasn't one. Jess got bullied at school for her goth look, and around age 13, the stepfather who was supposed to represent a second chance sexually assaulted her. Adderall prescribed for ADD opened the door to pills — Xanax and whatever else a friend's mother had lying around — and an opioid addiction quietly took hold. The concert scene became her escape.By 21, the weight of it all caught up with her. A suicide attempt with Tylenol landed Jess in the hospital and then rehab at the Right Step, but sobriety didn't stick. What followed was a blur of relapse, a stint in Kerrville, heavy pill use while cleaning beach houses and working fine dining, and eventually meeting her future husband at Pride. Her son was conceived on LSD at Ren Fest — a detail that captures the chaos of that era.Jess managed to stay clean through the pregnancy, but postpartum hit hard, and after failed SSRIs, a doctor put her on Ativan. Things spiraled from there. An open marriage, meth, a pregnancy by another man, a car wreck with her son inside, and a CPS case all collapsed on top of each other. Jess moved in with her mother and sister, stayed sober through the pregnancy, and traveled to Denver for an abortion. Back home, the relapse came fast — Ativan and psilocybin — and her family's response was violence. Rehab became the condition for keeping her marriage.This time something shifted. Residential treatment at Brazos Place led to 12-step work and sober living, though the road stayed rough. Fentanyl exposure put Jess on Suboxone, which drew judgment from the very addiction recovery communities meant to support her. Her husband threatened divorce when she discharged.Still, Jess kept going — working psychiatric and restaurant jobs, finishing an Associate of Science with nursing prerequisites, and slowly building nearly two years of sobriety from non-prescribed substances. For the first time, independent housing, a car, and a stable life with her son felt like something that belonged to her.JESSICA DAWSON is a mom in recovery with almost two years off non‑prescribed substances, staying on prescribed Suboxone and other meds while actively working on her mental health and boundaries. She has her own apartment and car, holds a steady job she’s kept throughout this stretch of sobriety, and is raising her son with lots of openness about recovery and emotions. She’s also thinking about going back to school to finish what she started in nursing or possibly move into counseling work.Follow Jessica on Instagram @jess8989Matt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.comFollow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17About Harmony Grove Behavioral HealthHarmony Grove delivers outpatient addiction and mental health treatment focused on wellness, creativity, and authentic human connection—providing a supportive space for healing that extends beyond traditional clinical care. Find out more at http://harmonygrovebh.com/Harmony Grove’s IOP in Houston, Texas, is more than a program; it’s a lifeline for those ready to take the next step in their recovery. We are ready to meet you where you are and find your unique path to change.If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.Host: Matthew HandyProducer: Eva SheieAssistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah BurkhartEngineering: Chris MannTheme music: Survive The Tide, Machina AeonCover Art:  DMARKMy Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.comQuestions this episode answers:How does growing up with an alcoholic father and a sexually abusive stepfather shape addiction?Why did one Xanax at Warped Tour feel like the first time Jessica could breathe?What happens to a child you raise while actively using — and how do you fix it in recovery?How do you come to terms with not protecting your sister from abuse you didn't know was happening?What is the real danger of staying on Suboxone without an exit plan?How does being the oldest child — the peacekeeper — become a direct path to self-destruction?Why is getting sober harder when the person you enabled is still living with you?