Life After Losing My Kids Twice, Selling Drugs on Reddit, & Living in a Trash Shelter

Rachel’s parents divorced when she was just a baby, and she lived with her mom, who struggled with alcoholism and mental health issues, while her older sister went to live with their dad.By ninth grade, she was rarely at school, drinking heavily, and immersed in the punk scene.  She blacked out a house party and assaulted her cousin who called the police, leading her to hide out in a friend's basement for 2 months before fleeing to Dallas on Greyhound bus. In Dallas, Rachel dropped out of school permanently and moved in with her mother. She got pregnant at 15, and gave birth shortly after turning 16. Over the next several years, she developed a cocaine addiction and later a heroin addiction. After her second child was born, both children were placed with relatives, and Rachel eventually signed over her parental rights while still using.Rachel later regained custody after a year of sobriety and addiction recovery work, but relapsed the same day and signed her rights away again. She became homeless, continued using and selling drugs, and was arrested after fleeing a theft in a stolen vehicle. Instead of a long prison sentence, she was placed in a state treatment program.After release, Rachel completed strict reentry supervision, avoided relapse, and regained custody of her children after three years. She began running daily, attended NA, found a sponsor, and now sponsors others. She works in recovery and outreach, and her oldest daughter, now an adult, works at the same organization and has attended her first graduation.GUESTRACHEL ELSTONRachel is a recovery advocate whose life includes years of addiction, homelessness, incarceration, and multiple losses of custody. After completing treatment and reentry supervision, she rebuilt her life, regained custody of her children, and now works in recovery and outreach. Today, she supports others through sponsorship, coaching, and direct community work.Follow Rachel on Instagram @raxhmadeinthe90sMatt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.comFollow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17About Harmony Grove Behavioral HealthHarmony Grove delivers outpatient addiction and mental health treatment focused on wellness, creativity, and authentic human connection—providing a supportive space for healing that extends beyond traditional clinical care. Find out more at http://harmonygrovebh.com/Harmony Grove’s IOP in Houston, Texas, is more than a program; it’s a lifeline for those ready to take the next step in their recovery. We are ready to meet you where you are and find your unique path to change. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.Host: Matthew HandyProducer: Eva SheieAssistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah BurkhartEngineering: Chris MannTheme music: Survive The Tide, Machina AeonCover Art:  DMARKMy Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.comQuestions this episode answers:How does a punk rock basement scene in the Midwest become the on-ramp to addiction?What does it do to a kid when they run from juvie at 14 and don't see their dad for 15 years?How does a judge saying "take responsibility for your life" land differently than everything else?What does addiction look like when there's no single trauma — just a slow drift?How do you rebuild a relationship with a parent you abandoned as a teenager?Why do some people arrive at sobriety through chaos rather than consequences?What does early recovery actually feel like after living in survival mode your whole life?