The Weekly You Demon. Well, so 52... Well, it would be one year, but... As some of you know, I miss the time, so it's really been about, well, 14 months, 15 months of the podcast, it's going pretty well.
Listen, the ship seems to be growing. I thank all of you who are spreading the word out there. I'm actually an explosion podcasting mood. It's Saturday evening.
Just got back from Mass, which I went to by myself. I like going with my family, but... Don't mind it, when I get to the consolation prize and go by myself, they're all at a chicken dinner fundraiser. I've been banned from that parish.
Those who don't recall by that guy who told me I wasn't praying properly, because I used my iPhone to pray with. This guy's... he's there a lot, so I just don't. I'm not a very confrontational guy.
I'm like Miles Garrett. You know, I'm a self-described pacifist and poet. That's true. I saw that in a news story, after Miles Garrett conquered off with his own helmet, with that Miles Garrett considering himself a pacifist and a poet.
So that's kind of me. And I want to be confronted by this co-so, hit this neighboring parish and rip his head off and hit him with it. So I try to stay away and tonight they're there and then they're going to the chicken dinner. Afterwards, the chicken dinner fundraiser for the school, which I still...
my kids have a school. They're still donating time to school and donate money to it. I believe in it. It's great little school.
But I try to keep my distance. So I went to this neighboring mass, got out early, came back. We have a company coming over this evening. And I have some Maurice Brother and his wife, two of my favorite people to drink with.
So I can the top five, which is like 24 couples I like to drink with. So to be in the top five, that's pretty good. I'm actually enjoying a Monster vodka tonic and it's monster in size. It's 6.8 ounces of tonic and two ounces of vodka and in cost because I'm drinking the Crystal Head vodka.
This is Dan Acuroy's vodka. It's poured over hercamer diamonds, the whole nine yards. Actually, I have some friends over and we drank it straight for an evening. I don't know if I can really tell the difference though between that and I have absolute...
We don't have that fine palette, I guess. So that $50 Crystal Head vodka bottles were sitting in my family for the past six weeks. So that bottle, I'll go ahead and pour two shots in and add 6.8 ounces of Fever Tree Mediterranean tonic. This is a new thing for me.
Definitely recommend it. It's outstanding. Mediterranean tonic is just red with tonic, but they mix in all sorts of botanicals with it. And it's specially formulated for vodka.
I'm not sure Fever Tree meant for it to be that way, but when I read about it online, they're like, if you want a vodka tonic, use the Mediterranean tonic. It's great. The thing I don't get though, I really think this Mediterranean vodka tonic is really just a Western Gen tonic. You know, Western Gen, that is like regular Gen with the Juniper, but the Juniper taste is kind of suppressed.
It's pushed to the bottom and they add a bunch of botanicals, orange flavoring, things like that, Rosemary. So to my thinking, this Mediterranean tonic, which is tonic water with a bunch of Mediterranean botanicals don't end, it's basically just like a Western style, gin and tonic. You know, different type of botanicals, maybe different flavor a little bit, but I think it's largely the same thing. Just no Juniper at all, but it is freaking outstanding.
Even though I don't have any limes. Thanks for ruining my drink, Marie! It's one flaw in the evening, looking for the limes or lime and something to cut and put in it, don't have it. Not as a practical matter, half the time I'll use lime and lemon anyway.
Just pumping all sorts of expensive tonic with a fever tree, I usually have a pretty good gin or a pretty good vodka. Don't really need it. This is this splendid freaking drink. I'm halfway through it here.
Also in the splendid mood, my Michigan Wolverines have definitely turned the corner and they beat up on this bar in 44 to 10. That was an exciting watch, but I had speculated a couple weeks ago when Michigan got just throttled by Wisconsin. I thought, you know, maybe Harbaugh is completely torn the program down from scratch and is trying to rebuild it on a model that can compete with Clemson and Alabama since they're on a level of their own. People scoffed at me like, what are you talking about?
I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know what I thought football really did have an opinion like that, but I don't understand how a team with such a highly vaunted offense ranks seventh in the preseason. Bookies in Vegas were high on Michigan and those mofos do know a lot about college football. I don't know how Michigan could have been so bad unless they're trying to do something radically to start from scratch or completely remake the program.
So they had Fox Sports. They actually kind of corroborated that. They said, Gaddis came in to the Michigan program and remade the offense and just took a long to get it off the launching pad and it should have. And so that's why I took to the 34th week for it.
Sorry, I'm all cylinders. So partly exonerated. I'm not sure why the defense sucks so bad. Although actually I do, they lost like two or three first-round picks.
You know, the defense is depleted and they're, it's a young defense. So taking down the rounds and time to get back together. So anyway, excited about Michigan that's going to Indiana. I've always liked Indiana.
We have to go on the road. Indiana's around ranked. So I, I'm not, you know, who knows the Indiana on the road which is top of the Ohio State comes in or Ohio State's just freaking scary. So I suspect my, my, my Glee will be short-lived here, but I still have the Chris Advaca and the FIFA Tree Tonic.
Mediterranean Tonic at that. I actually bought FIFA Tree Tonic stock about six months ago a year ago as my new investing philosophy. I actually studied stock investing when I was in high school. I just get barons.
I read it all the time. I can, you know, I can learn some basic things about stock market investing. And then when the market crash occurred in 2008, 2009, I read a lot of books about investing and economics in general. And I, after hours, I mean, gosh, I had a hundred, I know a ton of time reading and studying.
I found a key in the conclusion that I ain't never going to master this. So I basically invest in metal stocks and then conventional stocks that my broker recommends, like I bought Philip 66 things like that. And then if there's something I like, I buy that stock and I love FIFA Tree Tonic. So I bought FIFA Tree Tonic and already had quite a big of a run-ups.
I've not seen how it's done since then, but I think it's done fairly well. So that's my new investment philosophy. I tried it, I wanted to buy a speedway stock, but that's just a sub-arm of mobile oil. And I probably buy mobile oil, but, you know, I think speedway is just the greatest thing.
And they're coming out with all sorts of automated type products. It's supposed to be really up and coming. So if you're looking for a good stock tip, you know, you want to try mobile oil. Oh, gosh, what that freaking dow at 20,000.
It's hard to buy anything these days. It's like just gonna make foot a major crash. Well, we're actually gonna jump right into the lightning segments. That was a hell of a long introduction to my apologies for that.
But again, I'm having this, like, this is a splendid Saturday evening by myself with the promise of good company at the end of this, you know, first part of the evening by seven o'clock. My company should be here. I should have a good buzz on. Look at the music going.
It should be a good time. It's out of the zoom. Sorry for that. I'm sorry for that.
I'm blanking the introduction. Hopefully you found it halfway amusing. I know I did. I got a great joke.
It's November 16th as I'm speaking here and as opening day of deer season yesterday for shotguns. Rightful is if you're in the northern part of Michigan, but shotgun is the rest of Michigan, November 15th. Big, honey day. We got one of my favorite jokes of all time.
We've always been hunting on the tellet jiggers and the lightning segments. So Timmy goes to Honey Camp for the first time with his friend. He walks in there and one of the old timers says, Hey, follow us. This is Timmy.
He's new here. Let's show him a good honey camp welcome. And everyone kind of plaz and welcomes Jimmy, shakes his hand or whatever. And I say, Jimmy, hey, it's Friday night.
We're bringing a bunch of booze. We're going to play cards all night, get hammered. You have a great time. And Timmy goes, well, I don't really, I'm not much for a car plane tonight.
I don't drink. And I go, you call me. I'm gonna have much fun Friday night. But hey, don't worry, Timmy.
I sat him and get back from hunting. We bring in some of the local talent. 20 bucks and these girls, they go all night, man. You're gonna have a great time with these women.
Timmy goes, I don't patronize prostitutes. There's a little silence and stuff. I guess you're gonna get much fun Saturday either. Timmy goes, you don't bang prostitutes.
You don't like to drink. You don't play cards. He goes, you know, a chance homosexual. Timmy's like, I am not.
And one guy says, Oh, shoot, you're gonna have fun Sunday night either. That's one of my favorites. That's one of my dad jokes. My dad had a freaking ton of jokes.
Always one for every occasion. There's a little bit of a shit like a Mel Shusky 365 days of the year joke book. What dick it was? Mel Shusky who had a joke for it.
A freaking hilarious man. Every time I start drinking, I miss him. And being a month in November, I'm allowed to reminisce like that for you non-cathex out there. This is the month of the dead.
It's a beautiful month. You look at the people who have died. You look at your mortality. You value those around you.
That's something the modernist never ever got. But I still think they've gotten it. I've seen some, I've seen this truth creeping into that in the pop culture here and there in the movies and whatnot. As my respect to the dead, I love the dead.
I remember the dead. You better appreciate the living. I guess this helped find everything. Not to flush it out some more.
But it's a beautiful thing to remember the dead. It's a natural thing to pray for the dead quite frankly. I'm not trying to thin my Protestant listeners. By the way, I start reading a Protestant theologian or rather a ballot prize of theologian named Haman from the 18th century in front of a monument to a concert.
Actually, fastening about what I'm seeing, Luther and Floster wasn't a theologian. But anyway, that's probably by time I get a chance to incorporate him into podcast or to probably 12 months down the road. But anyway, I do think praying for the dead even is a natural inclination. Whether it's theologically accurate, we can imagine a Mediterranean vodka tonic and talk about that.
But I do think it's a natural thing. I don't think it can be denied. I think that overall appreciation in November, appreciating the dead, remembering the dead. I think that adds juice to life itself.
Oh well, that could be the vodka tonic. I don't know. Screw this arctic vortex. Geez, so freaking pizza.
I don't want to say ruin, otherwise, split the trip to New England last week. But there sure is a frick put a damper on it. With the Logan International Airport in Boston. And we kept checking, we kept checking every hour.
Marie is really good at making travel arrangements. You check like every hour. It's a plan on time, plan on time, plan on time. And finally this week, we took the Uberd from my daughter Abby's house in Boston.
She actually listened to her client Uberd over to her Logan. Set their phone hour. They can tell you about where to board. They announced, nope, you ain't boarding.
Three out of four runways. A Detroit Metro or a shutdown because it's freaking art extraordinary that came through. And freaking November! If you like that Boston accent, Bill Bertype, I was hot.
I, yeah. If you didn't know what I'm not a saint. If not even freaking close, based on my behavior at Logan International Airport. Yeah, I got the few F bombs.
But I did say all along. I had to head off the people who realized that and didn't put us in the freaking air. I was coming back from London three years ago. And we're in line.
Marie is texting a good friend of hers back here in near Kalamazoo, Michigan, where we live. And their friends are like, boy, is it? I mean, the fog is so thick. She goes, I can go see my hand in front of my face.
They're like, no freaking way, you're gonna land. But no matter. We go through security. We wait.
We get on the plane. We fly from Detroit to Kalamazoo. And they say, we can't last too thick. I'm like, well, no shit.
Fuck! Our neighbor down the street told us that. What was Air Traffic Control and Detroit doing? They couldn't figure that out.
So we had to turn around, come back, Detroit, run a car, drive back to Kalamazoo. It's unfreaken believable. So here, hats off to Air Traffic Control. Whoever the frick it is, uses common sense.
That said, don't even leave the airport. So we just sit in the airport for hours waiting for our flight to leave. But that's better than sitting on the tarmac or circling above Detroit Metro. So I had to talk to someone.
This was strictly weather related. It was no one's fault. But it sucked. Anyway, other than that, splendid trip.
I want to say, if you haven't done so yet, get to Portland, Maine. We went to Portland, Maine. I got off on the plane on Thursday. Went straight to Portland, Maine from Logan International Airport about an hour and a half drive.
Blown away. And you look at Portland, Maine, again, on Wikipedia, there's like no skyline. Looks like a blue collar working type town. And it is.
These are working wars. You see that? We're already talking about, maybe website talks about Portland, Maine. These are working wars.
You know, when you hear about working class, working wars, I always think that's like people talking about Detroit. Well, Detroit's like a working town. Oh shit, Detroit's a welfare town. It's just euphemism.
So I'm a little nervous going to Portland, Maine. Although it's demographics don't indicate that it has a high crime rate. And it's like working wars. And sure enough, get there.
Any other some grittiness in Portland, Maine. But holy frickin' smokes, what a neat city. First off, it's only 65,000 people. And that makes it barely bigger than Battle Creek, which, I don't even drive half an hour to Battle Creek.
It's been 24 hours there. So I wasn't expecting much at all from Portland, Maine. But I get there and I'm like, holy frickin' smokes. This feels like a hell of a lot bigger than 65,000.
And then I figured out why. The metropolitan Portland area is over 500,000. So I ran the numbers. Like in the Portland, Maine, metropolitan area, 13% of the population lives in Portland.
The rest of the population lives in the suburbs of Portland, Maine. That's a hell of a ratio. Now think about Detroit. Detroit and St.
Louis are like having one or two among major metropolitan areas or metropolitan cities who have lost population since 1950. And Detroit dropped from like 1.59 to 600,000, so might that. But Detroit is still a big time city because everyone's in the suburbs. I mean, Coleman, Young, the mayor of Detroit back in this country coming in late 60s and 70s.
Yeah, basically told the white people to get the hell out. Coleman Young was a flat-out reverse racist. And the white people fled Detroit, and they're the suburbs. But Detroit is still a major metropolitan area.
But still, 15% of the Detroit population, of the Detroit area population is in Detroit. And that's like one of the bigger ratios, 85% suburbs, 15% actually Detroit. Portland's 13%. So that's why when we're in our walking around Friday morning with massive hangovers trying to shake it off in the Portland cold.
I was like, gosh, we're walking from miles. Like what is going on here? I was like, ah, GCP is a city, no skyline. Absolutely no skyline.
I'm not even saying no skyline to speak on. There is no skyline, period, Zippo. I don't think there's a building there that's more than three stories, five at the very most. Like, correct me if any Portland aficionados are out there.
I'm pretty sure I never saw a building over five stories tall, and I'm thinking maybe three was a max. But it's really cool. I mean, it has that noon-lit flavor of its oldest, it's like, I don't establish like 1630, I don't sound like that. And to me, it felt like a little Boston.
Take Boston, shrink it down, you know, shrink it by 90%, and you get Portland. It has cobblestone streets, not a lot of them. I really wanted to walk on cobblestone. You know, fascinating.
I don't know, this is a fact. I don't just seem to let points out that people back in, you know, 18th century, whatever, when they walked around, they burned a lot more calories and exercised their core and got far more exercise in general walking on cobblestone, then you do a flat pavement. For the simple reason that every time you have to step on cobblestone, your body has to recalibrate and do just a tiny bit of adjustment. So each step on cobblestone, you'll feel it.
You know, like, this isn't exercising anymore or taxing anymore, they're walking on, you know, flat concrete. But over the course of, you know, 5,000 steps on cobblestone, it's much, much, much more tiring and calorie burning and core developing to walk on flat concrete. That's one of many things that seem to let points out in his books. That's why I like him so much.
He points out these little things. We'll probably obviously think about it. Yeah, if I keep readjusting my feet and everything's just a smidgen unsteady on cobblestone. Overall, it's gonna be a hell of lot better than walking on flat concrete.
So I was really looking forward to walking on the cobblestone, but there's not that much of it. That's kind of overblown. Plus it was wet. I mean, we are talking in Portland, Maine in early November.
We got a lot of rain that first night. Oh, we still had a great time. Probably because Portland, Maine also has a load of microburies. I don't know how many.
10, 12 in the general area. We walked by three of them just downtown alone. Went to one of them. Liquid riot brewing company.
Got a flight of beers. Got the star blush ale. Freaking knocked my slops off. Maybe the best beer I ever had.
Expensive as frick though. I bought a 16-ounce bottle when I laughed from the store. It was $16. I mean, I'm not sure.
Maybe 20-ounce, but it was just one bottle. You know, $16. I bought that and gave it to my daughter Abby when I got back to Boston as a gift. I will warn you though, Marie didn't like it.
It definitely has a fruity, like a sour fruity kick to it, like a tart cherry kick. I thought I was splendid. I absolutely loved it when the best beer has ever had. Not sweet sour tart type.
I'm not sure I can drink a ton of it, but to have, you know, a two or three to start the evening. Yeah, I'll be all over it. Star blush ale. I guess it's one of a ton of awards and rightly so.
I put this stuff out of Portland, Maine. That's the southern part of Maine. I'm totally go northern Maine. That's cool.
So I have a good friend of mine. He's kind of a guy in a lot of ways. We both kind of like more the rural atmosphere. Kind of be not in the middle of nowhere.
We both like the bars where you walk in. There's like four dudes there. Not horny dudes, just four dudes. Four dudes there in two bucks and hang on some place like that.
And then he goes from California and he goes, he loved going northern California where the old hippie's worth, things like that. When he off it goes, the Michigan UP, he says the same thing. He goes, it has the exact same fuel and the Michigan Upper Peninsula it does in northern California. They said, you got to go to northern Maine.
He goes, northern Maine has the exact same feeling to it. And so I really want to get northern Maine. I've also read from other sources that you get to northern Maine. You start getting close to like Nova Scotia and Quebec where you have a lot of French Canadians.
And you actually start seeing some of that French Canadian influence coming across Maine, you know, across the Maine border. I really, really want to check that out someday. He'll take a trip to northern Maine. If I do though, I'm going to Portland first and then driving to northern Maine because I really want to get back to Portland Maine.
Now obviously I can't say, hey, you got to go to Portland Maine if you've never been to say New York City. So I also love New York City. I like Boston. I like big cities too.
So yeah, I count the opportunity cost of going to Portland Maine. But if you're already well traveled and you're looking for a place that's a little bit off the beaten track, a little bit more unusual, frickin' a get to Portland Maine. If you do, you got to find Lincoln's frickin' greatest bar ever. Okay, now that's definitely the vodka time I'm talking.
I'm almost done with my two shots of Crystal Head. So I'm at Drunk Money Stretch. Maybe we'll be by the time this podcast gets over. But Lincoln's is great.
First off, it's called Lincoln's because that's all you can pay with. Five dollar bills. Nah, it's not true. You can give him 20s.
But everything is five bucks. The drinks are five bucks. The T-shirts are five bucks. Oh, I shouldn't have said that.
I got T-shirts for all my kids. I don't know what's been five bucks on them. Everything's five bucks. And I was like, how do you do that?
I bet she drinks really sweet. I have frickin' going to Lincoln's. I ordered Genetonic. It's Bomb-based Sapphire with Tonic from that little squirter thing, which is always better.
I don't know why that is, but Tonic Water, they sprayed in from the Antebar. That stuff's always better than bottles. Tonic for some reason. And they put a slow to bomb-based Sapphire.
I mean, I like my Genetonic's death. This is almost too stiff. I was like, frick, that was it. I forget all gash.
I'll gash Microbrew, 16 ounce, five bucks. Very, very reasonable. I'm hollering in content with inflation as time goes on. But no credit cards, cash only, five bucks.
Suck your reason at school. They don't advertise. I'm almost like, they don't care if you come and knock them. Obviously they do, but they don't advertise.
It is a former speakeasy from ProVision era. And you can't frickin' find the place. We just got lucky. It could be right about it.
And people said, fine, that's half the fun because they kept the speakeasy type attitude. I don't know how to phrase it. But as far as the public concern this place doesn't exist, you go to a sign call. I think it's called All You Can Eat.
It's a restaurant on the main floor. And we're not like, well, that's what the travel books had to look for. I don't see the speakeasy. And I said, well, it's supposed to be downstairs.
So we're standing at the top of the steps. Some dude walks in. I'm sorry. I said, you can tell me where Lincoln says.
He goes right down these steps. And he scoots right down. Boom, disappears. Right, well, frick.
So we go down, take it left like he did. I'm like, where the frick did he go? And there's nothing here. You know, we use the common sense.
So there's a bookcase to the right. It's like a half bookcase halfway up. We pull in the books, but they're not books or fake books. And boom, you walk in this freaking bar.
And it is a bar. And that's all it is. This is a freaking throwback. They're in a pool table.
They're in a ping pong table. If they're in even a jukebox and I love jukeboxes, there's one thing to do on Lincoln's and that's drink. And they have some of that crushed velvet going on with a bunch of cheap tables and cheap chairs. We got a table by the stage and I was like, I don't have the stage to see her for.
We got a little table there and two of us and these big high back chairs with crushed velvet. She could go to see the table because the chair claps the seat. Probably because she's so fat. I'm just kidding.
I have quite a few friends that have been listening to this podcast and they know my wife is like smoking hot. There's no extra fat on her at all. But kind of the seat kind of claps out. So she can really stick the seat or head across the table.
It's kind of funny. And we sat there and drank and there's like no people there at all. I mean, Marie and I were hands down the old people. Of course, I mean, she looks like she's like 33 years old with my glasses.
I look like I'm a 60. They probably thought they were my daughter or something. And but the young people there, I'm going to guess these are young professionals. Probably people with high school together in the Portland area, hands down a local crowd, not a tourist spot at all, which I really like.
And you know, I've rarely gets a term authentic and I've always said, if you're worried about being authentic, you're not authentic. Like if you're worried about being cool, you're not cool. But like, that's authentic. So we sat there for like, I don't know, hour.
And then there's like a little bit of activity near the stage. I was activity and I subscribed on it. So I was coming night and I was like far freaking out. Comedy night.
I mean, I love comedians. They're back in the 1970s. I got like the Steve Martin albums and I listened to them like 30 times each. And you can probably tell by how freaking fun his podcast is.
I just love student comedians. And I said, can we stay this day? That's my bucks covering. You know, mine is almost like an optional pace.
It's been there so long. I was like, I'm off record. Here's 10 bucks at 10 bucks. And they had us move to a front row.
And the front row is just this velvet couch. And I said, I want to end a young couple came and sat next to us. They're probably 30 years old and they're really, really nice. We chat with them.
Although at this point, we've been there for almost two hours and the show's getting ready to begin. And we had to get up like a three o'clock in the morning because when we got these these round trip tickets to Boston back, we're 28 bucks. But you got to leave like six in the morning, which means you got to get to the airport at four. I mean, you got to get up at six to get there on time.
And then you got to get sexual favors to the pilots monkey or something. No, I'm just kidding. But I mean, it was, we had to look at international like eight, three in the morning, drove to drove to Maine and we're getting really tired of been drinking like four hours. But we hung in there, watched the stand of comedians come up and it was great.
I'd be honest with you, the comedians weren't that good. But I don't know, I don't know how to play it. No doubt part of it was the genotonics then and part of the bakatonic now. But seeing these young people up there, like putting it on the line and this place was packed by the way, people poured in for this thing.
I don't know how people were there 100 because it's a small bar. I'm going to guess there's 125 people there. And they had a parade of these young comics, all locals. They came up and they just got seven minutes to do their thing.
And I really think it was just like one step off from open mic night. I don't think it's much better than that. But every comedian there made me laugh at least once. And I just, I don't know, I just love seeing them up there putting on the line, putting the pride on the line, possibly being made fun of.
And I tried to laugh as much as I could appropriately. It wasn't laughing wasn't that funny. But I just, it was just an enchanted evening. But then they ended up with a headliner from New York City.
That guy's freaking great. He went out for 15 minutes and he was funny as home. So anyway, if you go to Portland, make sure you get the linkens. And bizarre thing about Portland Maine, tight jeans are in.
It's like every chick there I saw, I'm not in exaggeration. It wasn't every chick. But a large number of women were wearing like ridiculously tight jeans like from like 1980s type style is really bizarre. And yeah, some of the women shouldn't have been doing it.
Although I guess if you overweight, if the tight knot that can actually make it look better, I suppose, but it was, it was bizarre. I was like, where are these pain and lung genes coming from? But so that's one of the added five disturbance. I just found it interesting that this was some sartorial preference in Portland, Maine.
All right, bonus lighting segments. At least two people have told me, Hey, I wouldn't mind sometime if you did a weekly demon with nothing but lighting segments. Well, to those two people out there, you're getting a wish tonight. Got my second back at Tannick and Han.
My wife's gonna freaking kill me. By the time my company arrives, I'm not sure I'll even be in their top 100 people to drink with. That's the top five. But anyway, we're gonna ring and wrap up here with some more lighting segments.
That's all you're getting. You know, sorry for lack of substance. I love doing the more substance of stuff. But those of you who know me, and listen to podcasts, you know, I think you know a couple drinks gets in that existential gap between subjects object we just look out and stare.
And because I'm not attached to the object or attached to the subject, I'm just doing the podcast in that zone, even if it's fueled by vodka. That's a good thing. George Costanza says about ma newer. It's not bad.
If you don't understand that side for reference, I think you probably Google George and manure, and it's not bad and see what I'm talking about. So after Portland, we're gonna go back to Boston, met up with my daughter in a son-in-law. That one of the greatest sons of all in the world, by the way, listens to the podcast. Cool as hell.
No matter. We meet up with them, we drive Newport, Newport, Rhode Island. What do I say about Newport? You know, this is where JFK got married.
This is like the upper crust of society. This is where one of the Vanderbilt errors built a huge house that they call the breakers. You can tour it for 14 bucks, which is highly recommended. No one lives there, strictly museum at this point.
It is like exhibit A at a gilded age. But it's pretty freaking gritty. I mean, I'm not sure I want my daughter walking around there at night in certain neighborhoods. It's economically depressed.
It's like America's number one tourist resort. People love it. And I love it too, by the way. Don't get me wrong.
But I like Portland more. Newport's very cool though. I mean, don't let me steer your way from Newport. But I guess you hear what I'm saying.
If someone says, hey, we got two days to spend, do you want to go to Portland, Maine, and go to Newport? Take Portland, Maine. But Newport does have probably more history for that, like, upper crust type stuff. If you're into, like, the Kennedys.
I mean, I'm not. I mean, it was the home of the first US open in tennis and golf. It's now the home of the tennis hall fan, which is actually pretty cool. I think it cost like 12 bucks to go through it.
I know, but definitely worth the money. It was definitely worth the money. It didn't knock my socks off. It was a small museum, but very, very neat.
Definitely liked it. They two-hathered micro breweries, which I'd recommend. I went to one of my camera in the name. Without theres funny, I'm not a big microbrewer guy.
Nothing gets microbreweries. I mean, I think microbreweries are kind of like the GK chess and the distributors movement. There's three massive breweries, cores, and has a blush and Miller. Now you got all these little ants, like, ticket chunks out of that drinking population, that drinking market.
I absolutely freaking love it. That being said, I would have been like maybe half dozen in my entire life. But Newport has a few of them. I went to one of them.
And it's also distillery. So I was like, well, I don't want to get the marine Robin Abbey. They ordered a flight of beers. And I was like, I'll get a flight of Jen without a...
And I was like, oh, wow, it's a straight gen. You know, it's good, but I'm not much to drink alcohol straight. And I was like, I got pregnant with Tonic. No, Tonic.
He said, well, we don't make mixed drinks here. I was like, look, I'm not asking you know, whip out the freaking Melender. I don't even want a freaking shaker. You know, over your ear type, shaking it up.
I just want Tonic. Let's say, no, no Tonic. And I didn't either say it's Rhode Island law. He just said, we don't make mixed drinks here this time of year.
I was like, frick. So I choked down that flight of Jen straight. And I guess heroes are made every day. But yeah, I really like Newport.
But if you go there, they can check out the Tense Hall of Fame is pretty cool. Definitely check out the breakers. And definitely, definitely, definitely get to the freaking Firehouse Theater. Wow.
My son law, he took us there. He took us to us. He took us as Firehouse Theater. It's a comedy night.
And again, I love comedy. So I got to see comedy Thursday night in Portland and Saturday night in Newport. Makes us split a trip. When the Firehouse Theater, it's improv.
And these guys were five of the funnest dudes I've ever been around. I mean, I was dying. And you know, it's really cool. Rhode Island doesn't care if you're bringing in your own beer.
Like a Michigan, if you serve beer, you can't let people bring in your own spirits, your own alcohol, which is just freaking ridiculous. And I understand they're trying to protect people who do have licenses who have to spend $40,000 getting a license to sell something that flows more naturally than freaking water. Don't get me started. So I understand why Michigan has that law, but it's ridiculous.
And then the grand scheme of things, there should be no licenses required to sell alcohol. There should be no restriction on bringing alcohol anywhere. And it's not because I'm a drunk, by the way. That's not why I'm a big alcohol fan.
It's because by pinching and suppressing alcohol like that, you make its abuse worse. Just let it flow freely as water and it'll become as valued as water. Once it says valued as water, people can drink as much of it. Yeah, you're just gonna be derelicts, you lose it, you become alcoholics and thums and all that.
But you have that now. That's not gonna increase by normalizing and making it as freely available as water. You'll make it as special as water. You know, right now, you can't drink your 21.
When I freaking turn 21, it's like going into bar was like almost religious experience for me for the first three years. And I had a killer fake ID for two and a half years before that. My brother looks just like me. He's older than I am.
He actually went to Secretary of State, totally lost his license. This is back in the early, this is back in the mid 80s. They gave me new license and he gave me his. So it was uncut, unmuted, brand new, unexpired.
I freaking whipped that baby out. No one questioned that was my brother. I got turned down twice. One time from a dude who just couldn't leave us 21, just would not bend.
Second time from a chicken went to school with my brother. I was supposed to let get the hell out of here. Actually, it wasn't that cool about she's trying to call the police on me. But anyway, when I turned 21, now there's now a hundred percent legal.
It was like a religious experience for me. That's absurd. Unless that's my short falling, by the way. You talked to anyone who likes to drink about turning 21.
It's a big freaking deal. That's why people don't drink when they turn 21. It shouldn't be a big freaking deal. It should be an everyday occurrence and when you make it a big freaking deal, that's when the alcohol abuse kicks in.
Anyway, the Firehouse Theater doesn't have a look at license. I don't think. And you go to the liquor store next door, you put in a bag and you walk in there and drink. So we've been drinking for quite a while.
We sat at a bar watching the L2 Alabama game for like three hours. I know I had a slow genotonic. I was like, well, hey, you were going to the Firehouse Theater. You're comping us.
You're listening to gifts to us. I'll pick up the booze. What do you guys want? No one really wanted anything.
So I'll be drinking for hours. So I picked up this Bacardi Hurricane mix. No, I'm sorry. I picked up this Bacardi Zombie mix.
Pre-mixed, 12 and a half percent alcohol. It was awful. We sucked down at two thirds of it. I got like a half gallon of it.
No, it was just awful. But it was enough for the hour and a half show to get us to do without the hangover kicking in. So it did this job. But we got there and watched this comedy troupe, this improv.
Freaking lights out funny. I mean, at one point I was actually at tears when my eyes had laughing so hard. So to get to Newport, get to the Firehouse Theater and check out the improv. I can't recommend it enough.
That's a wrap. As always, thanks for listening.