Liked by Everyone, Chosen by No One: The Nice Guy Trap

A lot of gay men pride themselves on being “nice”— easygoing, agreeable, low-drama. But what if that’s exactly why you’re not getting what you want? In this episode, we break down the difference between being kind and being “nice,” and how approval-seeking, conflict avoidance, and over-accommodating are quietly killing attraction, respect, and real connection.  We talk about: Why “nice” is often a strategy, not a personality The hidden cost of being liked by everyone How this shows up in dating and relationships The difference between being chosen vs. being liked How to shift from approval-seeking to self-respecting If you’ve ever felt overlooked, under-appreciated, or stuck in the friend-zone, this one will hit. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deeper: The Nice Guy Trap(00:01:04) - Being Nice(00:03:16) - What Does Being A Nice Guy Actually Mean To You?(00:05:46) - Matt on Being A Nice Guy(00:09:49) - Have You Ever Been The Nice Guy?(00:13:30) - Is Your Friend Think You're A Nice Guy?(00:17:16) - What Is Niceness In Your Relationships?(00:20:09) - Gayman's Brotherhood: Connection Circles(00:20:54) - Why Being a Nice Guy Backfires in Dating(00:23:16) - Matt Says Being Honest In Dating Backfires(00:28:19) - In the Elevator With Michael(00:29:38) - Gay Men on Dating and Relationships(00:30:19) - How to Shift From Being Nice to Being Chosen(00:35:02) - How To Be With Yourself(00:39:06) - Be Candid With Yourself(00:42:15) - Michael Jackson on Not Being Like Everyone(00:45:34) - Matt on Not Being the Nice Guy(00:48:20) - Thank You!