Live From APA: Is It Kink…Or Abuse? The Warning Signs Therapists Miss | E107

Content advisory: This episode discusses sexual violence and homicide. What if your client told you exactly what was happening and you didn’t recognize the danger? A client describes choking. Pain. Humiliation. Control. And suddenly you’re wondering: Is this consensual kink… or abuse? Being a kink aware therapist requires more than being affirming and nonjudgmental. You also need to recognize coercion. And that distinction can be frighteningly subtle. In this live conversation from the APA Convention, I’m sitting down with forensic researcher, trainer, and consultant AJ Greer, whose work focuses on sexual violence, domestic violence, sexual sadism, psychopathy, and extreme offending. The big takeaway? The difference isn’t necessarily the behavior. It’s consent. And coercion can make genuine consent impossible. Listen to learn: How to distinguish consensual kink from abuse The subtle signs of coercive control therapists can miss Why strangulation should raise serious concerns How boundary-pushing can hide behind plausible deniability The questions that can reveal whether someone could safely say no Why being kink-affirming is important, but isn’t enough If this is a distinction you’re not completely confident you could make, this is a conversation worth hearing. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self