Live Fully, Lead Authentically: Kurt Bush on Emotional Regulation, Reflection, and Becoming a Leader Worth Following

Live Fully, Lead Authentically: Kurt Bush on Emotional Regulation, Reflection, and Becoming a Leader Worth Following Uncle Dave welcomes Kurt Bush, leadership coach, former manufacturing leader and pastor, co-founder of Brimstone Coaching Group, and co-author of Live Fully: Lead Authentically, for a thoughtful conversation about authentic leadership, emotional regulation, resilience, and helping overwhelmed leaders become unstuck. Kurt shares how his understanding of leadership developed through two very different environments. He began his career inside a manufacturing plant, where he learned to lead both people and production processes. He later attended seminary and spent approximately a decade pastoring churches, where leadership meant guiding volunteers, developing other leaders, and helping people manage anxiety during uncertain seasons. During the pandemic and the cultural upheaval of 2020, Kurt discovered how much he valued coaching anxious leaders. He found purpose in helping people lower the emotional temperature, regain perspective, and focus on the work and people in front of them. That realization eventually led him to transition from pastoral ministry into full-time leadership coaching. David and Kurt discuss why leadership is not about being the smartest person in the room or possessing every answer. A leader may have authority, but people still decide whether that person is worth following. Authentic leadership begins with becoming clear about who you want to be, how you want to show up, and whether your daily behavior aligns with those values. Kurt challenges the idea that authenticity means acting without a filter or excusing hurtful behavior by saying, “That’s just who I am.” Authenticity is not permission to remain emotionally reactive. It is the willingness to hold up a mirror, acknowledge behavior that does not reflect your best self, and take intentional steps to respond differently. The conversation also explores Kurt’s transformational framework: E + R = T Encounter: A difficult, surprising, or emotionally activating moment Reflection: Examining what happened, who was involved, what emotions surfaced, and how you responded Transformation: Choosing how you want to act when a similar situation happens again Kurt explains that reflection rarely happens by accident. Leaders may need to schedule time for it, particularly when silence and self-examination feel uncomfortable. Transformation begins when we stop reacting automatically and become curious about what is happening inside us. Kurt and David also discuss the inner critic. The goal is not always to silence it. Sometimes the inner critic points toward something that genuinely needs attention. The important distinction is whether that voice drives us toward curiosity and growth—or toward hiding, shame, and avoidance. One of the most powerful parts of the episode explores protective promises. These are unconscious promises we make after painful or embarrassing childhood experiences, such as: “I will never let people think I am stupid.” “I will never allow myself to be embarrassed again.” “I will stay quiet so I cannot be rejected.” Those promises may protect a child, but they can restrict an adult leader. Kurt shares how misspelling the word “farm” during a childhood spelling bee created a fear of appearing unintelligent. Years later, that protective promise still encouraged him to remain silent in important conversations. His healing required replacing it with a purposeful promise: “I am here on purpose.” That promise then supports a preferred action: “I say what is true for me.” The conversation closes with an important reminder for exhausted leaders: frustration, burnout, and overwhelm do not have to be accepted as permanent parts of adulthood. Hard seasons will still happen, but people can learn to navigate them in a way that creates greater peace, sustainability, and wholeness. Kurt’s seed for the Magic Garden is simple: find someone you trust and tell them how you truly feel. Naming exhaustion, anxiety, or overwhelm can be the first step toward discovering that another way of living and leading is possible. To connect with Kurt Bush and Brimstone Coaching Group: https://brimstonecoachinggroup.com/ Book: Live Fully: Lead Authentically Visit the Brimstone Coaching Group website to explore coaching, listen to the podcast, or schedule a free conversation with Kurt or his coaching partner. To support us, check out: https://davidchametzky.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@davidchametzkyNOW https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peace-love-and-bring-a-bat/id1552738547