Local Hour: 30 Uninterrupted Seconds (feat. Papi) episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 2, 2026 · 46 MIN

Local Hour: 30 Uninterrupted Seconds (feat. Papi)

from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz · host Dan Le Batard, Stugotz

"I SAID JERK OFF!" EVERYONE in the office is in on the Miami Marlins and Major League Baseball, and the crew is ready to show up to games as Sandy Alcantara has asked them to. Then, after a night where the Heat allowed the most points they've ever allowed in a single quarter to the Boston Celtics, Mike and Amin get into a legitimate shouting match over the Heat's front office strategy at this year's deadline. This is one of the best days of Dan's life. Today's cast: Dan, Amin, Chris, Jeremy, Mike, Roy, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"I SAID JERK OFF!" EVERYONE in the office is in on the Miami Marlins and Major League Baseball, and the crew is ready to show up to games as Sandy Alcantara has asked them to. Then, after a night where the Heat allowed the most points they've ever allowed in a single quarter to the Boston Celtics, Mike and Amin get into a legitimate shouting match over the Heat's front office strategy at this year's deadline. This is one of the best days of Dan's life. Today's cast: Dan, Amin, Chris, Jeremy, Mike, Roy, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Local Hour: 30 Uninterrupted Seconds (feat. Papi)

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TRANSCRIPT · AUTO-GENERATED

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Visit Samsung.com slash business to learn more. Hello. Bobby. You just hung up.

I got to call him back. I love the sound of a dial. It's his old score right here. Yeah.

I can't hear it anymore. We just took two numbers. Well, these are never orchestrated. These are always live.

But you never know what my... I'm always a little scared of these because I never know what my father's going to actually say because he doesn't know. Hello. Babak.

Danny, how are you? How are you? What happened to the heat, Bobby? Oh, man, I got a headache.

That first quarter. How many points? 50. Not 85.

50. I don't know, man. Are you sure about that? Everything was falling for them.

Everything was falling for them. They make old threes. How many threes? They make old threes.

They make old threes. They make old threes. They make old threes. They make old threes.

Well, that's what I see. They hold my hand Chi-Fi right there. But gain Gold's def spinning kid. Now swearing that kind of body undetected Salty city.

Uh these guess DHS centers? First quarter of the fourth quarter of the end of comes Europe. Everything has broken. Maybe the two away in the States?

Number. 4th quarter of Isle and second quarter of hygge. Second quarter of the south world means you're into a normal quarter of the last quarter. 30.

So was that easy? What kind of magic act is that? Tough against the shitty teams? Yeah he's going to score.

I believe he' gives it. 90 points against the witchers. You watch, you watch Saturday. The guys going to roar.

Or like a big A like a big A. Like a big star. of a very expensive point, you know? Who else can I tell you?

Huh? Who else are you mad at? No, I'm not mad at anybody. I'm just waiting for them to finish in 10th place.

Just make clinch a little spot in the playoff and then make a big run for the for the big time. That's what I'm predicting. What can I tell you? How about you?

What are you predicting? Do you think that they can beat the Celtics? You think that they can beat the Pistons? You think that they can beat the Pistons?

The season's over. The season's over. They started 14 and 8. They fooled some people with their offense and they've been 500 cents.

They can't beat anybody good. They haven't been playing defense for a month. Well, what do you mean? They got hero.

They got a man. They got the best coach in the NBA. What do you mean? They can't position this over it.

You are no doubt until you're out. Who said that? Who said that? Who was the philosopher who said that?

Yogi Barra. There you have it. That's my man Yogi. He was a big guy.

Yeah. I mean, the first quarter last night, that was painful to watch. I had to go to the bathroom about the first three times in the first quarter. Isn't that just because you're old?

I don't know what happened to my system. I got to excited last night, you know? So, but that's not the scoring 50 points in the first quarter. Exciting about what?

He chasing them, chasing them 20 points down the whole game. Well, all I can tell you is that the Godfather got big plants. They got big plants for the heat this year, next year and the years ahead. You know, you got to believe in the Godfather.

It's going to roll those guys over the table and he tried to get the run. It's the run available by any chance. So, you know, the rant? Yeah, he looked good.

I mean, he looks like a guy. I can't talk to you anymore. These are the ramblings of an old man. I can't talk to you anymore.

Why not? He's about my education. He's playing basketball. What can I tell you?

You know what I mean? Goodbye. But I got I got big plants for the heat. Goodbye, Dad.

What are your big plans for the heat, Dad? Go ahead. End it with one shitty joke that you know we're calling you. You know you're on air and now you're performing a shitty dance.

And it's better when you don't know we're calling. But I didn't know you were calling. What do you mean I'm on air? What do you mean air?

What do you have? Shitty act. Get him out of here. Get him out of here.

This is the Dan Lebapur Show with the Stuka Podcast. I think it would be fair for me today to preach a trilogy on the Miami heat season after what you just saw happened last night. And I don't know how much objection I would get from a mean in the way of overreaction for what the last 10 games of heat basketball has brought us against good teams where they just get dragged. 50 points in the first quarter is crazy.

How is Jason Ted? I'm going to reintegrate with these Celtics. Who knows because Sam Houser is going to make five threes in the first quarter. Got a triple double.

Sam Houser had a lot to do with it. Are we about done with the heat talk? Well, it's baseball season Dan. I want to get to the heat and I want to get to baseball because the Marlins are five and one and they have an ace, a legitimate ace who can carry a team and get you excited if they make if they get all bargains on all their discount coupon Tampa Bay Rays guys like if they if they if all the young guy if they go seven for nine on the young cheap guys and it's like, wow, those are seven amazing players.

Have you ever seen a discount bin at the dollar store? That's kind of what's going on, right? You walk around, you're like, oh, this is the discount. So this is a crazy roster construction.

Okay. At the top of the hill, you got the ace. He blew out his arm. But when he's on, holy shit, he's scuba from the right side.

Is he back complete game? Really, Sandy? Welcome back. You were the best in the league for a minute.

And then you got hurt. And they're the only that's the only guy they're paying. I didn't even know they did complete games anymore. I thought that was outlawed.

It looked easy, right? This is an unhittable person. When he's at his best, he won it's a young. When everyone's throwing 100 miles an hour, that guy goes out there and throws 98 all over the place and nobody can hit him.

And so if he's back, he wasn't last year, he's bad last year because he was hurt and rehabbing and then had up and down. But that's who he was when he won the so young, well, we just saw yesterday and he'll do that to the White Sox, but he'll do that to the Yankees too. Like that he can do that to anybody. And so you've got an ace in the middle of your city now.

And the Marlins try to build themselves back up. And I think they got Mike on the way home. He was wearing a Marlins jersey yesterday and we did not comment on it. And he stopped in for a two hour game yesterday on the right home and had the ballpark to himself.

Yeah, I wanted to give baseball a try. I tried it a couple of years ago and I still had some issues with the game, so I didn't quite get it took to me. I saw the postseason last year. I understand it was good.

And the World Series was great. And I wanted to jump in, give these Marlins a try, especially, and I had a really decent time at the game. I saw a brilliant pitcher on the mound. I saw one good baseball team, I think.

And yeah, I was, I went in that game, strolled in at like it was a 110 first pitch, I should have won a 105, obviously didn't hit a lot of traffic along the way, but I missed any of the game. I saw a nice deal and I was in my car at 3.28 and I'm like, man, like Rob Manford of all people fixed it. There's a lot of momentum behind the sport, the riding, the hot wave of the WBC and I don't really have a leg to stand on as far as my complaints that some small ball is back to a degree. The game is moving very quickly, which I really like.

It doesn't afford me the opportunity to get in my phone and just like zone out, which I like. And I was thinking about it and I don't want to take this to a negative place at all, but I was driving home. I was like a ball people, the commissioner, the much maligned. This is how I drive by the way.

Yeah. I drive with two hands and I'm just working all over the place. I was thinking about the commissioner. You think about commissioners on the way.

I don't think it's the ways to fix sports on your drive home. Well, I was like, man, that was, I had a good time. I was drinking beers. I was with the boys.

I saw my team win. I was in and out. And now I know there's not going to be a complete game shutout all the time. And that had a lot to do with the pace of the game.

Sandy works quick too. You've got to be careful. A couple of beers that work too quick. And I'm responsible.

Don't do that to me. As you know, I'm driving like this just because I drive like this. I'm the beers. And I was like, Rob Manford of all people fixed this sport and it made me think like, man, Adam Silver does have his work cut out for him because like, if baseball can fix like the nauseating talking points that we went seemingly for a decade on, we're kind of getting to that point with the NBA where we've been talking about like what's wrong with the game for about a decade.

If Rob Manford can do it, certainly Adam Silver can. What do you think of the in-game host? A little grating. Handsome though, right?

To be clear, you're going to get more Jeremy with the show today because he and Samson are going to geek out on baseball things. Samson's really good on baseball and he might have some opinions on their announce attendance of 6,000 when he comes on with us because he was always trying to fake those numbers and fool around with those numbers. But the thing that Mike says that to me is most interesting about this is that sport was so reticent to change. Like, they had a chance one time when movies were trying to advertise in creative places, they could have put Spider-Man on the bases and they were like, absolutely not.

We can't do that in baseball. It's all pristine. They cleaned everything up. They sped up the game.

They listened. They made these drastic changes. They're putting a runner on second base in order to feed. They've always been ahead on new media, right?

Their channel and their network has always been better at this stuff than the other one. Smarter at how it is that they sell it to smarter fans because baseball fans are the smartest because they know how to do the measurements and David and Jeremy are going to talk about all this in pitch clock. But David was always lying about these numbers at the Marlins games and what Sandy is saying when he comes off the mound and I really do, I want South Florida to sort of embrace the excellence in this because of how rare it has been in the history of this baseball franchise that is in a city that cares about baseball as you saw during the World Baseball Classic. South Florida has rarely had ever a man of this kind of excellence at the center of its team.

If this person is the Cy Young winner on a team from two years ago, the best in the sport at pitching. When the Yankees have started the season, the Yankees just started the season with the best starts ever from their starting pitchers, ever for the sport of baseball. No one has ever started faster, better than the Yankee starting pitchers. The Marlins have a horse at the top of their rotation that everybody would want and he's telling people to come out to the park and genuflect at his excellence.

This interview is awkward. It's in his second language. Listen to him after throwing the first complete game in a while to tell everybody, yeah, I'm back. Welcome back.

Sandy, your 13th career complete game. What makes this one a little different? A lot of different, you know, so it's been a long time without a complete game, you know, but this one's especially for me. All my family here, fans are not here, but we still love them, you know, because we know we know this is a hard sport and they know why sometimes I got to something on the, they wore the house.

So yeah, it was great for me. I don't know what happened at the end there to him except that he was like, he thought that he's like, the fans have to work. So I guess they've got things to do that. That interviews awkward in his second language, because that guy looks like he's in high school is interviewing him.

That's radio intro host pregame host Stephen Strong. What happened there? What happened there? What happened there?

I don't know. It's been a long week. I have been talking nonstop everywhere. I'm exhausted.

Yeah, that's fine. I'm good, man. I'll relax. Everybody's excited about Marlon's baseball.

You guys, please. Because it's awesome. Like what's happening out there is awesome. And Sandy's right.

Like the fans need to show up. The same way we showed up as a fan base for Jose is the way the fans need to show up to watch. You say Sandy's right. So you're, that's what you think that's intense.

Like to me, that sounded like he said something and then he's like, Oh, I shouldn't have said that. Sandy said it in both of his interviews. He said it with Kelly Sacco on the postgame interview on TV. He said it was Stephen Strong on radio.

And what he said is like, Look, there are 6,000 people here today. Show up. Now, I would bet that every team in baseball that plays the White Sox on a Wednesday afternoon at one o'clock will have the worst attendance of their season on that day. It just so happened to coincide with Sandy throwing a Maddox.

But where he is right is this team deserves to have people show up. This isn't the flooky five and one start over their last 101 games. It could have been 100 where you tie it. But over the last 101 games, the Marlins have a better record than the Dodgers do.

They've been one of the very best teams in baseball over that stretch. They started horribly to start last year. But what they're doing, the guys they're bringing up, the guys they've traded for Liam Hicks is a rule five pick. Oh, and Casey, the guy they traded for in the ever cabaret trade, they're at the top of the league in RBI is one and two.

And you have an ace right there. And you're a Perez throwing on Friday, who's a dark horse candidate for Cy Young according to even Jeff Passen. The issue is that when you have a getaway day game at one o'clock on a Wednesday, like Major League sports doesn't do that, right? Like you don't have an NBA game that starts at one o'clock and everybody's like, all right, well, I got to go see the Kings at one o'clock.

That hamstrings, I think a lot of attendance and a lot of people getting eyeballs on the game because people are at work. People are at lunch like, oh, no, watch the game for 32 seconds before I go back to my terrible desk job. I was thinking about that yesterday. It was like a Wednesday, one PM game.

Who is this? Who is this? Oh, this is this is so interesting. All of this.

Who's it for? Is the schedule of these people keep traveling all over the globe in a way that's really tiring by the time they get to that wonderful World Series they gave us the one o'clock game used to be part of this sports charm that you could go to a day game and watch baseball and it it was something that was quaint and beautiful about the game and take me back to the 1950s. Mickey Mantle is running out to the all this stuff. It's beautiful.

The Golden Age of baseball. Wednesday at one o'clock, it's getaway day so they don't have to arrive at five o'clock in the morning. I'm just telling you why it is. I'm not talking about most of the sport though.

Most of the sport played one o'clock games yesterday. I just want to know who the people in attendance were in their finest suits and ties and hats and a newspaper under their arm and clapping and they're all smoking chain smoking the whole time. Man, I should dress like that the next time I go to a getaway day and chain smoke the whole time. But Wednesday at one p.m.

The factory just gave you the day off. I'll go take him to the Yankees. This is true. I'm not making this up.

Okay. The history of this historic sport makes it so yes, somebody at one o'clock would have the honor to go attend the national pastime with a cigarette and a newspaper and a top hat and the people in attendance were wearing suits and it was an honor to get off from work and go watch DiMaggio because he happened to be in town. He took the train in. Dan, do I have your permission to leave Thursday show early to wear a baggy suit to the Marlins game?

I want to wear a baggy suit of adora and have a newspaper under my elbow as I clap and call people with their snappers. If you want to stay really committed to the bit, you also have to yell out some racial slurs at some point. Yeah, we are going back to the 1950s. I did find it curious that me wanted to go back to the 1950s.

That's not going to work out well for you. I'm more lucky to see it from afar. I don't mean to write. Hello friends.

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Hey, Roy-Buddy. You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody altogether in unison knows to stand up on their feet. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you've been at many big-time sporting events.

You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of queer value. It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal. It's when small talk turns into stories.

Queervo, man. It's at high-five a random stranger effect. That's right. The game is popping.

You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Queervo brings. It's so smooth. So delicious.

That's the Queervo effect. Keep it. Queervo. At Sims, you can now add protein dairy beverage to any drink.

What about coffee? Oh, nice latte. Yup. Chai latte.

Uh-huh. You guess it. Chicken noodle soup. Okay.

You can add protein to most drinks at Sims. I participate in restaurants in Canada. Don Libertard. All these high-paid analyses.

ESPN. Oh, yeah. They're dead. They're not going to make it, you know.

Even if they win in Miami. If they lose it in Miami. I need to calm you down. I just calm you down.

They don't see Miami. I don't got a chance in Boston. Oh, they're going to have their ass. You know what?

Stu Gats. They went wrong. They're going to lose their job. No.

They're going to get a cutting plate. No. What are they going to do? Keep predicting what is the obvious.

They're going to say, oh, you know, they're going to win. Oh, Denver, the altitude. And you know what? They're either going to win at all.

VCC's on Libertard show with the Stu Gats. In the history of Miami sports, all across them. It is the rarest of rare things. No, we got the best guy there.

At any position. At any, like, you can have your discussions because they're skis and school and a bunch of other guys. But this guy got his best is as good as good as good gets. And Miami has had very few of those in their history across all sports.

Big breaking NFL news. A former Pro Bowl quarterback has signed with the Raiders. It would seem as though Fernando Mendoza has the perfect mentor in Kirk Cousins. Oh, you like that?

You like that then? I'm talking about sports excellence in our market that has 6,000 fans at Sandy's. Like, yeah, the guys, the people have to work. This directly affects one of the biggest local sports stars.

A local product, future number one overall pick in Fernando Mendoza. How corny is this quarterback room? A stat for you, Dan, to back up what you're saying. Since 2022, the top list of complete games by team in the major leagues.

Number five is the Giants at eight tied with the Red Sox at eight. The Astros have 10. The number two team is Sandy Alcantra with 10. And then the Phillies have 11.

And he missed an entire year in that stretch. I mean, I'm not going to forget how excellent this person was. I'm going to give you the best in the sport type of good. Give me all the ones Miami has had.

You can do it on one. Is it two hands? Is it two hands? History of sports in South Florida that you can say, I had the best at that position or somebody you can make the argument.

You win the Cy Young. You're the best at that position. Good, Dan Marino. LeBron James.

Dwayne Wade. Far Cuff. I'll take your word for it. But it's a totally different class.

Like, even Bobrovsky wouldn't rise to there, correct? Like, you're talking about hot gold tender, but when you have the best at the craft where all the other pitchers and hitters would say, Jesus, I don't have a chance there. Like, if you have not seen this person pitch, okay, and I know everybody's sort of numb to this guy throws 104, this, whatever. Everybody's throwing very hard.

Kevin Brown. What's I on? Kevin Brown. Jose, I think Jose would be before Kevin Brown.

Well, when Sandy asks for attendance in that awkward way, in the history of the Marlins, of all kinds, only two pitchers have ever spiked the tendons at the ballpark. It's Dontrell Willis. It was never Lavon Hernandez. It was never Lavon.

And it was Jose Fernandez. Lavon won a championship, but there are only two guys. Novelties. One guy is a black guy.

The other guy is the most Cuban of Cuban guys. Came over almost drowned in the sea. Those were the only two spikes in attendance. This guy deserves that because this guy at his best is better than anybody.

He's better than anybody who's ever pitched for this team. I can say that. I can say it flatly. He has better stuff than Jose.

He won a Cy Young. He was the best in the sport for a year. Jose Fernandez was not that. And I'm guessing if you look at their numbers, that Fernandez's strikeout rate would be better, but not his contact rate.

Right. Sandy, no doubt, is the more accomplished as a Marlin. No doubt. I don't know if, like, high-end top level, whatever.

Sandy's the second longest-standard Marlin ever. He's a guy that deserves to be here. He's the only guy on this team that played in those awful orange uniforms. And then transition to the new era.

And now gets to pitch on Sundays in teal. He's a stalwart of this franchise. And he does really deserve people to show up the way that it happened for Jose, the way that it happened for D-Train. And the great part about this is we could be going to his next start on Tuesday if we weren't doing our sports Equinox livestream.

Jeremy won. It's a stalwart. He said stalwart. I didn't.

Again, long week, man. Couldn't we just have Mike joining us from our sports Equinox dressing in a baggy suit at the Marlin's game? Are they on the road? No, they're the one team that's at home.

We could send him. You're going to need me. I'll go to the game. And certainly the heat analysis.

We are looking forward to that on Tuesday night. We're going to do a live show watching all three of the games, Panthers and Marlins and Heat. But I am excited that, oh, so Sandy, can I pitch on Tuesday? I'm excited about the idea that the nation would be reintroduced after that World Series to really the Marlins are going to do it with all these rays sort of mathematicians.

They're going to build a farm system and they're really going to throw at the sport. Hey, here are seven cheap guys. I bet I can make them into major leaguers that will be about leave to average because they've got late discipline. I don't think this team's going to hit nearly enough.

I don't think this guy pitches. It won't have to. And if he's healthy, that's one out of five. And the idea that the Marlins have one of those, the idea that South Florida has one of those, there haven't been many in our history.

They have a lot of things going for them. Two top pitchers, pretty solid lineup. I know the early season gauntlet of the White Sox and Rockies might inflate those numbers some, but they have a really good farm system too. They have bats that the franchise is really excited about, that they can bring up in the summer and help this team with a run.

And also they haven't spent a lot of money. So you got to think that they have some powder to go out and get somebody at the deadline or something that can push this. Why is it powder? You keep your powder dry.

It's like an initial. It's gunpowder. I thought I thought something else. Went to the same place.

Am I heavy? Powder needs to be different. Yeah, you've got some coke to go out and trade for an arm. That's currency.

How are you talking? Too soon on Jose Fernandez, given how that ended. No one went there. No one went there.

No one went there. No one was thinking. Not a play on you. No.

No. Red corner. Yeah. You should think about what you did.

Loss of downs. Yeah. Want. No.

I'm going to save the end. I got the ball back. Damn. Don't Nepal.

I'm not going to apologize. I'm not going to expect you to apologize. Then you're a giant infant. You have no control over your emotions.

You have no control over your emotions. You're calling someone you know an idiot. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it.

And you're a fool for saying. Okay. stu gods. You're a fool.

I was kind of falling. Oh, you're blocking. Just knocking on a bag. I should be thanking me for what every day for what I've done around this character and the second shit gets real for you you.

You want to come at me and call me a fool. Oh, no, no, seriously. Seriously, how? I've added 10 years to your career.

This is the Dunlebattar show with the Stugats. I am just, I am buried under Tony's thumb. Tony is taking great delight in giving me the giant thumbs down because I mentioned a little tooth. That's true.

I'll do it again. Don't know. No, no, no. No, no.

No, no. No, no, no, no. No, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. That's not reality, man.

That's not reality, man. It's being proven that they missed the mark, yet again, thinking that they had enough, thinking they were good enough... Never what? Enough to make some noise.

No. No, I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything.

But I know those people well enough to know that they looked at that roster the beginning of the year and they knew, look, we have an opportunity in the coming off season and then went after that to have some incredible flexibility. What if that's the case? We're not going to sacrifice that this year for incremental gains. Why sacrifice, why not add to that flexibility.

Everybody else that was in theata's pursuit that found out that Milwaukee was in seriousness went on to make a move to either help their chances in acquiring the honest or make themselves better at lana certainly did or set themselves up for the future understanding that it sounded capitulate we're not good enough like chicago i'm not saying go out and get another star i'm saying what they did which was the only thing in their conference and not make a move was very clearly an f-minus type of move you still are stuck in this reality where you think if a move isn't done that means people say miami here how does it get that out of my face i'm not doing any deals i'm i like what i have mike the reality is you are inundated with calls for terrible deals of different proportions sometimes talent return is a good enough sometimes removes flexibility and you know and basically your ability your inventory of things to move forward i hear you it doesn't mean they said no it means there was not a good deal out there to be done well they're apparently the only team in the in the conference that thought that there wasn't a deal to be done and that's the wrong move because you can't tell me so you tell what was the deal that was gone as you said so you like add add something that helps you okay in the in the office what was the deal where there was a second rounder available i don't know that's my point that's my point you don't know i mean i mean i'm trying to have a conversation i don't do that don't do that don't know i'm holier than that my point to you is you don't know don't offer me my yelling at me i'm not i'm not i'm not i'll be giving you facts no you're not giving me facts you're not giving me a matter of opinion you don't know no no no i don't know either right but i do know everybody else made a move the point is you don't know what wasn't wasn't available that's the point you speak with such certainty that i can't believe they didn't make a move okay you don't know what was available all right well i'm pretty certain that they could have traded anybody on their roster for anything that would have helped their cause in the off-season i think that's pretty irrefutable and i think you sound like a jackass for challenging that notion you're a jackass person i mean i mean you're in luck you're not the biggest jackass in the zip code because across the street there are bigger jackasses that miss them all it's a jack off yeah it is a jack off we got a jack off can we do like what are we doing like i mean i'm so clearly right on the mighty heat like this is so stupid this is what Mike does Mike Mike Mike what Mike does he write about the team Mike gerrymanders the basically the environment with argument is happening i'm not saying to you though it might mean he's a great they didn't need to make a move what i'm saying to you is you are implying that there was something to be done when we don't know that that's what i'm saying it's always something to be done it's the NBA it's telling acquisition well i'll go with shots we're the only team that didn't do anything there was no fun to be done there was always some kind of can i mend fences on this maybe and find a middle ground which is i know what Mike wants here which is specifically it's it's guys like Norman Powell or Andrew wiggens he wishes the heat would have moved those players theoretically the entire fan base was like move them for first round picks uh-huh-huh but those things are not available mike says okay just move them for second round picks but would you move those guys for second round picks if you then have to take on long-term money because Andrew wiggens is going to be a player going into an expiring deal that his value going into next year if he's on a exercises his player option is a year 30 million dollars is that more valuable in your pursuit of yannus or is a second round pick more valuable is Norman Powell's money coming off the books or in a sign and trade more valuable to you or a second round pick these are the questions that are out there you guys each have different opinions on how you go about it and we don't know what deals what i mean i don't i don't i don't that's my point i don't have a different opinion i am merely operating with the reality that i do not have the information available to me to make a call mike is saying hey they should have done something mike if you told me hey they could have tried Andrew wiggens for two first of course i might go ahead and do it but my point is you don't know what was offered to them i do know that their position is they felt good about their team and they weighed that opinion about their team against whatever was out there and also um i don't need to entertain this anymore i don't thank you thank you very much don't entertain i won't because i was right you're right about what oh right about them being a nowhere franchised in a bad position we know shit when they're sending they're they're sending their PR guys over to berry jacks and saying they like their hand explaining to a frustrated fan base which has a right to be frustrated why exactly they stood pat at the deadline yeah i feel pretty good about my position the defense rest what do you think their PR department should have done i'm not doing this anymore no no you not doing it something something everybody else did something joke franchise did something i'm asking you what their PR department you didn't like what they did tell me what they should have the PR department not basketball ops you are department did what they're supposed to do and have effectively done in this market for several years which is what they're supposed to do help yes which is get the message out there hey this is the right move okay meanwhile they're in an unenviable position when you compare their position to the rest of the league hopefully this offseason what we've tried for the last four years in trying to upgrade the talent level on this roster hopefully it works out i would have loved some more additional assets that would put my mean and even better spot to do so because there always seems to be a team that has better assets and when i look at the lay of the land inside the conference and your competition in acquiring those stories like even outside of the conference like minnesota they did things to put themselves in better positions and i don't think there was some jerk off in front of a microphone there's no deal to be done no i said jerk off we were headed back off before first it's a drug not to jack i don't like you're you're taking the devil's the devil's advocacy argument yes you are like what what what kind of stance is that that there is not a deal to be made to improve that's not what kind of stance is that when everyone else in the league makes the move my it is not it is not an argument that is based in reality that is not sports and that is certainly not the the credibility and foundation that pat riley has stood against him when it comes to upgrading this roster that's not who that guy is that's not the you think pat riley's the kind of guy that's like oh he's not he's not looking at himself saying that i'm the kind of guy that can't make a move that's not who he is you're making my point and that they didn't need to make a move my point is you don't know what was available you don't know the deals that were on the table without that knowledge it is impossible to see with certainty which are just pumped out so i don't need to return to send you more and he's a joke all right all right you don't like no no no no no i didn't talk but 30 minutes non-stop let me get my 30 seconds 30 minutes let me get my 30 seconds without knowing what was on the table you cannot speak with any level of certainty that they messed up by not doing it you're doing the family guy a boat's a boat but the mystery box could be anything it could be a boat you don't know it's in the mystery box you can only operate off of what's available you say hey if something was available they didn't do it of course again i'm with you if there were options to move some of these guys for real asset for real return on value of course but mike that doesn't seem to be the case you know how i know i don't even need to talk about very dash or anyone locally i didn't hear anything from shams or sam amic or mark spears anyone like ooh they heat had a deal on the table to move deviant Mitchell for seven first round picks but they turned it down all right like counterpoint is i say the rest of the league make moves that's not okay but you wouldn't have been happy with Jose alvarado like i mean you wouldn't have been happy if they're saying do something here's the argument that i would make so everybody else had moves but let's play this game with a mighty heat with a lone team that legitimately didn't have moves because what because of what because of why why didn't they have moves show me the move why didn't they have moves show me the move what what's the argument why didn't they have moves because they built a pathetic roster that no one's interested in because they literally have zero pieces again f minus failure if every other team has a piece if every other team is making a move then the failure is even greater because they have the fair the fair criticisms are a year late on Jimmy Butler no one wins there but a year late on Jimmy Butler miss on Durant because you're holding on to whatever it is that you're holding on to when Durant and when now Houston's in when now you're ostensibly in wind now and you need somebody that's better than Norman Powell and Tyler hero to advance BAM if you're building around BAM like these are fair criticisms right but do you see what the difference is the difference is you're talking about actual transactions that were available and not pursued in the moment and Mike is talking about my imagination tells me this could have no Mike's not doing that Mike what Mike is doing tell me what to do let me speak very clearly to you because apparently you've missed the last three years i mean i've been saying and been right that the roster is not good enough no no Miami he'd have publicly publicly they have and by their reaction what what are the PR department give me my 30 on interrupted seconds give me my 30 on interrupted seconds give me my 30 on interrupted seconds all right because we've been right here espousing these beliefs that the roster is not good enough they've been publicly at least and by their inaction privately not doing anything to upgrade the roster or make it better there is the failure there is the failure they miss the mark we hit the mark that's the failure and if they hit the mark they would have stockpiled assets they would have done something to put themselves in better position be it at this deadline or in the offseason it is i mean look at me irrefutable that they have failed these last two years with how they've managed this roster irrefutable by nuking the trade value of Jimmy Butler by the disaster terry rosir acquisition that i was openly campaigning against by their inaction at this deadline you he also campaigned against Kyle Lowry in terms of and that was a disaster too even though they made it to the finals that guy sucked okay look i'm made uncomfortable by what just happened there i mean just got an amine look at me and obediently he did and you guys have raged at each other about something that neither one of you is wrong on because he's like show me the exact deal that they're turning down so that i have the facts to properly criticize this it's not an unfair appraisal by him because there are a lot of reports and we think this about terrain we don't know how close they could have gotten but the reports are from these credible people that you're not willing to give up some of your young pieces in order to get yannes exactly so like well not in order to get yannes in order to get something that's not yannes in the pursuit of yannes right that's all i'm saying is we know pretty well in this league when there are sometimes our rumor deals that we don't hear about until years later oh actually they were very close to getting kevin garnet or whatever as i was in phoenix right but most of the time when we were criticizing what a front office does or doesn't do we have available some information it may not be the full picture but some information of decisions made or decisions not made we know about the jimmy butler thing he's right about that we know about the taro's your thing he's right about that mike's problem is he thinks i'm arguing that they've done a great job and my argument is that what pertains to this trade that line you don't know you don't know what was available what all you know is like everyone else made a deal what does that mean i mean so mike is basically chasing the action he wants something to happen i've worked for a man like that i'm sorry to catch off i've worked for a man like that who would walk in on drafting like what are we doing what are we doing that's not the job the job isn't just doing stuff say i got me one of these i find i find really interesting how different your expect of perspectives are because of course about it for a living yeah well you've done it for a living and he's spent 15 years being spoiled by the standard this organization set for us which is none of this is good enough and now they'll win the next five games and it doesn't serve them because they've got a zero percent chance at a top four pick if they make the playoffs they'll fool no one by winning their last five games in a row against against bad teams and then they'll go into the playoffs and be not good enough and there is no questioning that the standard they've set has fallen into some deep disrepair because they've been a year slow on moves they have not made whatever those would have been that wouldn't be merely getting norm pal in making him an all-star but improving the team so that you don't also now have to look at it lanta and be like are you kidding me now it now it lanta fixed it in 15 games and this this locomotive in the eastern conference is going past this because Detroit's already better and the nicks are already better and Orlando kicks your ass every time they see you and Toronto's got those young wings and you're looking up at the entire conference and they're younger the standard set the standard set is what is the ouroborist that is eating itself up because the standard set of excellence the way you get excellence is by bottoming out now if you want to have a real conversation about hey this front office fails because it refuses on policy on pay on on record to not go the route we went you mentioned three teams then Detroit Atlanta or land you know all three of those teams have on their roster a number one overall pick kid Cunningham Zachary research say and uh and uh palame care right all of those teams regardless of how you feel about research say all of those teams went to the muck they was you know what got to know and hold them know when to fold them and we're folding and then hopefully come out on the other side of this with a transformational player who's going to announce but now Charlotte's better than you like Charlotte had a number a number two or number three oh I'm just saying it's the whole it's the whole conference to me Dan you're giving me the whole conference of people who took a strategy that the Miami Heat on principles say we do not do we do not do that's the only part you found it no that's a part you found it Mike it's a point off there's a point off my case if you had said to me this front office fails because they refuse to do the hard thing which is be bad for real for a couple years and then come out on the other side I would I would capitulate it immediately I would bend the knee to use uh Tony so how are we highlighting a series of failures over the course of several seasons and saying that this deadline was not one of those things I know you're just asking the question but I don't have what was available to them a few people do this is a very secret organization but I do think it's a pretty strong hand when you say the rest of the conference found deals they they they decided on courses some like the Bulls went south some like the Hawks went north the Heat stayed right where they are and that that even the Pacers went north I would argue that the Hawks did not go north by acquisition they did by subtraction yes but that could happen that could happen here screaming Mike you know I have one rule to live by right don't place parlays on multiple long shots don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero always drink your gagermeister ice cold that's the rule everything else is merely a suggestion everything else everything else we're in clean underwear every day well that's just a personal decision- brushing your teeth obviously smart but not a rule never pee pee on an electric fence okay maybe there are two rules but the one that is a hundred percent that i insist on completely gagermeister must be drank ice cold or don't drink it at all damn that's cold exactly Exactly, you're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Yanker Meister Likor, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by mass yanker Meister U.S., White Plains, New York.

Frequently Asked Questions

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This episode is 46 minutes long.

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This episode was published on April 2, 2026.

What is this episode about?

"I SAID JERK OFF!" EVERYONE in the office is in on the Miami Marlins and Major League Baseball, and the crew is ready to show up to games as Sandy Alcantara has asked them to. Then, after a night where the Heat allowed the most points they've...

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