I'll say this. I was pretty sure I was pretty goddamn sure that I didn't have a micro penis and like even now I'm sure I'm pretty sure Go back to Plymouth fucking rock you pilgrim like other people drive cars you like you just came here on the fucking Mayflower Dude, but how did you end up looking like such a pilgrim bro? I'm not saying that that is where my dishes will end and there's not even a diss. It's just a factual situation Logan's a lax bro We got a dwarf that looks like what what what what?
Well, I'm on tread lightly. Okay, who looks like any van Halen? That said you look like a bearded Can you show me I'm like the show I don't know start the show probably right now. Here we go What's up everybody welcome back to a policy of the number one podcast in the world episode 101 Wow, I'm not gonna lie.
I'm a little slow today I just woke up from a nap Spencer just woke up from an hour. I am episode 100 was live It was a three-hour mega show MGK performed we just Skype with Andy from Firefest Theo Von came on I made some jokes hilarious guy sucked so much energy out of my body I literally have no gas left in the tank today and we have to do two podcasts so bear with us hit that subscribe button Again, we have the number one podcast in the world. We do an extended audio Q&A after the visuals done on Spotify iTunes. It's great We're here.
We got sponsors now. I'm ex-controversial. I can't believe how's everyone feeling bro last night when we left We had the little like after party and everyone's like yo episode 100 bro after party even after the after party It'll be at war with let's roll I go to this is what I said I go I'm gonna run upstairs quickly shower and get ready cuz I'm ready to rain I literally took my shoes off went upstairs and fell asleep with my clothes on under the blanket He's like Mike you ready to go and I was like bro. It's 10 p.m.
I'm exhausted I just got into a physical altercation with your brother. I want to go Camera Jake and fought out camera. Yeah, yeah, I'll be honest I did not have to live a lot but yeah a lot of things happen yesterday I want to kind of debrief on the episode so if you haven't seen episode 100 what are you doing this chair won't go down dude? I haven't seen episode 100.
Please make sure to do so I'm gonna post a show Instagram I So it's me him and Spencer we're doing our free person debrief which we do after the shows we talk about what we like and we literally just Get started. We're just diving into it And I see Logan and his eyes keep moving away from you on talking and a girl with yellow fucking hair starts walking over and I go Not right now man. We're debriefing he goes. No, you're fine.
Come on. It's take a seat and I go Logan What's good? I start to listen to you talking and all the sudden I hear Logan go I'm literally talking about the episode he goes. I hold you and she's like 23 and she's like 23 I bet you could teach me a few things I'm gonna address this because Mike said the same thing yesterday and I guess it's and I said I don't feel fixed the same thing that I'm about to say like what why you do this this part like this?
Yeah, you know what you just said is an absolute lie No headline headline headline guy fair and plus you twist my words. I didn't say that. Did you say sorry? Sorry, sorry.
What did you say? She goes? I'm a mom. I go you're a mom.
How old are you? She goes 23 I go while you're 23 or mom. You've probably seen some she probably knows some stuff about you could teach me a few things Oh, I miss the mom And I told you We had this conversation yesterday. Yes, it is better.
You can learn a lot of things from a 23 year old Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me ask would she have been invited into this circle if she couldn't have deep throat at the Banana in such a magnificent way That was her she's a mile that he's throat span bananas on me No, we're here, I we're here. I'm diving in because I have a story to about this. All right, yes She went viral on Instagram Cuz she deep-throated a banana I don't know but you probably seen this video guys I mean like she and she was here she was here for the live show. Oh, she was walking around and sure Mike was talking But let's be honest like how important are my words really?
Just Like it's like her thing like We're here breaking down the most important episode of our life and it's like a little dog if you throw a little tennis toy Go on You know but listen I Say and I I emojis eyes and then she sent it back and then I said do you know what I hate that was my second DM I said you know what I hate and she said what's that and I said then I'm DMing you cuz I saw you sucking off banana That's a good slide. I hate that about myself like the inner man and he was like oh my god Your caveman mentality for like I'm a moron it goes back to like why do dudes like button boobs? They're just like round love Make make with toast water toss make boobs bad Shocking a beer on our fucking Every frat in America like crazy Let's go but the live episode guys was absolutely crazy It um I told I told Mike and a few other people if I was capable of having panic attacks It would have been a three hour panic the whole time the whole time. It was torture the whole thing was absolute torture I was freaking out those who've watched a lot of episodes.
You can probably tell I wasn't I wasn't on I was I was Internally combusting the entire three hours. What happened? Well, I think I narrowed it down I think it was the live audience not being live I was nervous to shine a beer bro a lot of people and then here's a thing They're not like necessarily like fans of impulsive. They're like our family and friends family Creators so they're not laughing at all the jokes.
Yeah, they're kind of like a dry audience Zombie standing line This may this is my favorite comment if you wrote this comment on the video. I'm happy through lee Roy Jenkins The audience look like fuck it's okay Yeah, you probably just get that word out the audience looked like a bunch of lunatics waiting for the number to be called it And honestly like it was bad and like so they're not funny without the word I'm so nervous because I It was such an interesting like do I play to the live audience or do I play to the cameras like we always do for every episode about Half way through I've finally got a rhythm and I actually apologize to Theo because it was such a like I've never met that dude before I'm actually a big fan of him I'm surprised you apologize because that like I don't know about it. I was like I think I said I'm sorry It was such a shit show because it did feel like bro. I mean he came in the desk is covered in confetti There's a fucking alien over there with a script or girlfriend attacked you artists proposing dispenser for it 15 minutes I noticed that he was celebrating the day of his three years sobriety over an open bottle of decay I called it out.
I don't know if everyone picked up on the contact drunk just from the To touch on Theo really quick funniest person I've ever sat with I literally could barely could stop laughing the whole time He is the most random on point. We mean Spencer talked about it this morning his biggest skill is his timing He's able to keep you intrigued with the direction he thinks you're you think he's gonna take a joke and then he flips that shit on you so hard dude That like you're you're not expecting it like he's just incredible when we asked him if he was gonna storm area 51 He goes, you know think about me is I'm more of an indoors guy He's really long questions and he'd be like yeah, I'm not even trying to think about all that I'm not even thinking about all that. But yeah, he's amazing. I want we should have him back for a full hour episode Banks came on we gotta have him back for a full hour hour episode banks almost died mgk through a knife Not six inches from his face MGK was here as well and that was awesome.
That was fucking crazy I have a whole list of things I want to go through here and maybe we should go like one by one Um, we talked about the lie detector test really quick because this has been this has been kind of eating my face Like so I know what parts eating you up actually maybe a couple even but it from what I understand I asked this question on Twitter What was there was a part of the social like a lot of tech to test was the kind of the overall yeah climax of the show like a lot of Insane truth codes that came out of that lie detector test and by the way shout out John the lie detector guy who is a Why is he perfect for that position? Like a robo I asked I asked I said hey have you ever seen the test the logo on the back of his head There was a Tesla of people like android. Okay. There was one point where we had a stick a charging cord into it See this it was on the table.
Okay, I said I said John. Do you ever smile? He goes no? No, this is polyurethane.
Yo, because when when he uh when I thought he was starting to mess up on the questions I was like, can you state your credentials quickly? Like how long have you been doing this ago? I've been polygraphing for 30 years and in what setting what setting have you been doing it? Family and testimonial Original and my relationship and I was like I couldn't argue with if I tried because you're a robot We're not even a human android.
We think he was like a child though That's not saying he just came out that crying that size dude Wearing that word as John the polygraphy. Yes, John wasn't born John was created in a lab looking exactly the way he did So Talk about this a couple parts. I really have a micro penis dude. So okay, cuz I got Really girls are in my dns right now asking does Logan really have a micro penis if so I need to see it It's crazy Surprisingly I might or your stock might have just went up.
Oh, that's why that's why I kind of like this rumor I don't know if I want to address it. Yeah, here's what I will say. I'm not gonna say here be like no I don't have a micro penis. I'm a man.
I'll say this I Was pretty sure I was pretty goddamn sure that I didn't have a micro penis and like even now. I'm sure I'm pretty sure But according to John I have a micro penis which maybe he's right in which case how would you classify your so that's what I don't get Because I hate to say it like this, but like Logan is a fucking nudist bro He's on expose a 24-hour literally I walk into the bathroom and we'll have business meetings and he'll just he has a towel around when I come in So I'm like now my big good time for business meeting. No, it's time for the tries here with the same towel So just dicks out for the boys dude. Okay, so I have seen it I can say for a fact that he does not have a micro penis or so you thought does yet sort of say or does he because here's the question Maybe it was just a hot day and it really needed a breathe and what I always thought was I was looking at his Or he was exposing his exposing his Flacid penis, but what if the whole time his flacid penis was his erect penis?
So his little one and a half inch flacid penis is what he actually is when he's hard one and a half inch 2.2 no you should take a solid look at it next time. I don't want to I don't want to you you had to have made a direct icon I don't have to get any other point of measurement when you saw it like smell or anything Yeah, you have another one thumb line for Peter for our look guys we're in this The point is you know, maybe our definition of micro penis is wrong. Um, the other one though The the hamstring I'm glad you guys know I pulled my hamstring and so I'm recovering from that still and my question was did I fake it? Just to create some sort of excuse the answer was no and he said I was telling the truth there Which is good, but I was thinking man the challenger games are coming up to like 27 get your tickets I don't think I want to head on to that.
It's fine. I'm just get your tickets. I feel like it's not enough Get your tickets to what is the largest influencer event that's ever happened Don't like is being a part of this everyone Bradley Martin, right? I'm not even certain name Yes, no Bradley Martin name and I hear but I couldn't cuz sponsors.
Okay. What if we get porn out this monster name and influencer in your mind right now You watching this program you beautiful you beautiful impulsive you I love you by the way Name an influencer in your mind 1 2 3 they're there. They're there. Yeah, why do not ball tickets?
Why do you not what are you doing sitting in your ass in cheese? Right now? Get your fucking ticket by the way get ready to donate to because there's gonna be a donation link and the money's going to charity It's for a good cause and I'm nervous because fucking hamstring guys I'm going to sports rehab every morning and I got my shit. How you feeling right now?
Um, I don't know I don't know Suction cup holes on your Me you ever been caught up this morning. I've been caught even caught in the Oh coffee No, it's with a cup and they suck on your skin then you they like I feel better like you feel like you can compete no no Nothing obviously A while to seven I think it's I love this place I go to but I question how many of the cool new experimental physical rehab things are actually effective I mean covers. Do you think are also anti-vaxxers? Do you think there's a big correlation between the two?
No, no I don't know are you saying that I've been in all honestly like did you think about what I said about? Yeah? Yes, sorry I realized like it's not even worth thinking about it's not Spencer Did you get the fully download that I he asked me if I would suck a dick to save your life and I said yes And that was a truth. Yeah, that was phenomenal.
You know I got you. Thank you, bro Yeah, when you said that it really hit home. Yeah, it really did. Would you do the same for me?
Absolutely? No, it's absolutely yesterday. Yes, it was it was it was before he knew So he's reciprocating energy was it was it sure I don't know if it was Logan as the example Yeah, it was one of your voice. Oh, you did say sure you showed me the greatest thing That could have happened there was if I asked Logan if you would suck it to save my life.
He said yes I'm just still trying to figure out the moment in which a situation like that would happen Well, they keep calling it hypothetical, but I'm sure there's a dick I'm sure it's absolutely No, I feel everyone I haven't been had a blow job since the city hawkins dance in 1972 If you don't fucking blow me right now, I'm blowing your friends head off like I'm sure it happens Yeah I Wait What No, okay, that's not big enough for him. No, no, it's just Okay, I mean literally shot the view comes to 70,000 concurrent viewers. It's been the talk of the internet today That's right. You and Jake went at it.
Well, you held your ground and it looks like from this angle the audience has sided with hey big My it's not really an angle thing. It's pretty conclusive. It was it was my it was my my calm and professional approach asking for him So you were on a light you were on in the moment you started rebuttling him I was like fuck dude Mike is just so much more eloquent and on right now than Jake is currently and he doesn't stand a chance When you ask him to cite examples of you being a clout chaser and the weather Selfish and if you I did this to you on your episode I was like if you can't provide examples, it's tough, but I will side with Jake because Just on this one point that he made he's like you're not the type of person to like write things down You know what I'm saying? Like there's a circumstance that strikes him and makes him feel a certain way and he clocks his feeling But doesn't write down the I my thought on that quickly and I just have like a little thing that I want to say is Normally if he said there's been multiple examples that have proven this thesis usually are able to recall one of them Yeah, you know something that made you feel that way and the one that he brought up was was unfortunately not his fault But he was lied to like about some fall inclusive trip that I went on that never fucking happened.
You know what I'm saying Gotta go to the facts quickly. Here's a fact one was in contact with Jake I tried to contact take last night sent him a very long text message that I do want to talk to him. I want to sit and talk with him Um, I I have no appetite to continue this whatsoever I'm gonna say one last thing on it today and then I'm never talking about this every again Respect I I No matter if I was pushed to do it or if I did it because I thought it was funny I should not be taking jab shots whatever you want to call it at someone that's in our quote-unquote family And really in his family but in our quote-unquote extended family. He is a younger brother of mine Not by blood but by relationship.
There's no reason for me to be doing that but devil's avocados He took some shots. He he did So what are you gonna just roll over and be a bitch? Not really but maybe but maybe you just take the high road when it comes to family members He did he did what the reason I went off in Sweden and said stuff about his friends was when he called me a dick rider He was joking and that was a weird thing about it to me too like you launch an insult out someone else on an insult back There's just a little bit worse, but I took all the blame on that like he kind of kicked it off Anyways, I don't want to play the blame game jake paul. I am sorry for saying the things that I said about you I'm sure you've got great friends.
You've got a great family I want nothing more than to be cool with you. Your brother's my best friend I love you and I hope that um we can we can square this all away and make it right and uh and also Yeah, it was entertaining though, bro Yeah, that's what it really was like the people the people liked it a lot of the comments said that was the favorite part Unfortunately, I unfortunately he went drama is the favorite but like I have no appetite for that shit There was just there was like literally everything about yesterday shit I wouldn't be surprised if that was one of the best live shows ever on youtube everything about that There was there was so much happening and so many good things went down Like remember when the aliens from every 51 somehow showed up showed up. Yeah, that was interesting And he happened to be um in the skin of the Russian guy that I bought Shapeshifter in that skin and a costume of an alien like a fake costume Yes, that was odd and that girl that you wanted to so happen to also be No, bro. He said he's like you can change her mind.
She can only change her mind I don't need to be indecisive. It's only goes can change their mind I've been thinking a lot about this area 51 thing guys. We're gonna go maybe set up shop That's a quick answer. Maybe set up shop in the spinner do a little podcast.
I won't do it I don't know. I don't think we could get a sick piece of conduct just talking Outside the days. I don't want to go in there. Uh, no, but here's the problem US carpet bombing is not the most accurate.
Okay, and so when when these mother hear me out when these 2.6 million extremely strange people storm area 51 and there is what's called a precision air strike They're not always precise. Schools get hit all kinds of horrible things happen So say we're outside the red zone talking to people. I'm not trying to take an ICBM to the head That's the last thing I want, bro By the way, why would an intercontinental ballistic missile be dropped from a plane? Why did I say that?
Yeah, it's on the same continent. It's the same continent coming from the air. Dude. What's wrong with me?
Like why would you say that? That play out. I don't know. It's just legend.
It actually happens. It really is we might go. Hey, comment below if you think we should go We might hit that. What was the least favorite thing that happened on the show yesterday?
Yeah, it was all great. Um, I think I'm not gonna lie. I was really unhappy with the audience, dude. I was just really unhappy with it.
We're really loud at some points too. Yes, don't force them Well, no, no, no, I think you threw like a piece of meat into the crowd a couple times. Oh, start them up. Yeah, they went for it What's good with that?
Like you're you're half real half big girlfriends in the crowd. Even she couldn't spark up some applause. Like what's good? Can we cut this at its head right now?
Where's the metaphor? No, like, no, like where is this coming from? I don't know you're going to lie about it I asked a simple question that you were you to a 20 year veteran of polygraphy. It's true I don't even know if you're aware of what it means to date someone again.
That's what I said. Yes. I think I have a skewed version of reality Yeah, like in her mind, bro. Yeah, but you didn't base your answer on what's in her mind.
No, but it's your answer. What's in your mind? Like it's in a super god damn clear then I don't think I'm like talking about the conversation you had prior to the show. Yeah, okay I got a using names of stuff.
There's a girl here. They know no, no, no, listen, it was garlic I took her aside before the show started and I was like, hey, you're gonna hear some things that you don't want to hear and I know you're so sweet such a sweet girl And I'm so sorry for this, but I need you to not take anything personal and understand that I'm playing To the camera in the audience and I'm gonna try to block the live audience out even though this may hurt your feelings Like I did warn her that's good I did do that I'm like he preffes that entire statement with they might maybe you should be Like the best times always like this by the way always like this he goes Always on his phone smiling and I was like yes, but I walked over and he goes on name female I may say some things tonight that will offend you and I go my dinner now. I literally ran out of the room. Well, by the way You're mom I hate that I explain my life for this my mom be grand on them UK Grind on him.
She's a hoe dude. I mean I don't know like like like bro. She was she was twerking upside down with her ass and Colson space how is she not A house is not herself. Yes, and she wall twerked she wall twerned without a 40.
Okay. Okay. Were you there watch the footage? I think you were there.
I was a hundred percent. Oh, that makes it pretty tricky for me to argue this I did not expect that Spencer. What was your least favorite part of the show? Really I know I'm not even vegan and air Do that you want we confronted your girlfriend about crying during sex.
Oh, yeah Wasn't bad what do you got I got nothing damn it was incredible. It was a great show. We told it off Like that's it's internet history. Oh, can I get my words quickly?
I Want to touch on sweating and nerves and you talk about yourself? I'm gonna pack all time. Yeah, the studio audience paired with the fact that any one thing I said could be my ultimate downfall Or downfall the show dealing with the goddamn fucking Oh, yeah, I'm like doing show out like there's just so much going on and so I was at any moment in that show I was but seconds from a sweating attack, but seconds were okay in the whole show I had one good friend my biggest fans I would say he's quite small, but he is the most important thing in my life, okay And banks came to the show and he said Mike the only way I'll ever do impulsive is if I sit in your seat He likes the idea of taking my seat. I said make sure friend of mine.
You can do it The problem was not that he took my seat. The problem is he took the fan Stayed with the sea I ended up in tucked in the corner up there. No headphones with your button down with my button down No fan just fucking sweating. Just sweating like I popped up fucking Molly dude after 10 years leave like it was bad Yeah, no one could save me.
Yeah, you were struggling and since um you were sitting to my right you were right here You looked smaller too. I was like was now just a little Mike sweaty little Mike Bro, he was there he's he kept he gave me this look like 15 times like who fucking is you? Oh dude. Yeah, mchk was he was going after you.
Well, he banks he went after everyone spicy He's a spicy man on Bro and after the show he Someone had to tell him that he threw a knife at banks. He goes oh I did that's awesome Yeah, that's good. Yeah I had some tea I had some tea I was trying to spill and I got a mad too. Yeah.
Oh, we don't want that. We ain't spilling that tea now either I was like that much. Last thing I want is mchk shooting up my playground. All right, I don't know.
Yeah, if we cut that I know you're the king of cards Any I know you didn't but did you like the conversation with Andy from firefast? I did I actually I enjoyed it. It was interesting. You know here in such a eloquent speaker.
I was gonna say I like listening to him He was good. Yeah, he's good I am shocked that he's thinking about doing well I thought it was very interesting that he owns a sustainable music festival company But he's willing to soak cork for 250,000 water bottles. What was the word? What was the work?
So cork? Is that you heard that one? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's a gimme a balance skit.
Yeah. Oh, if you're feeling cool You're a cork-soker. Yeah, you soak cork. I feel like an uncultured swine right now.
It's one Blue it wasn't that I didn't enjoy it. Just it was at a time when the show was at its messiest, bro By the way, I saw you trying to accept Evan you get when we talk about socially like tough issues You get a little you get a little clammed up or you're doing all right talk about men on men bj's playground shootings like you're right? Yeah, all right fine What playground shooting is that we talk to you? What do you I just said are you high?
Is you smoke payo? That's the company I got peers. I got my belly button. Do you still have that?
I think it's infected That's not That was that pain though it was horrible like the worst pain you've ever explained. Oh, no, no, no, no It was really bad and I felt where he went through bro. He went through like a centimeter skin like a thick part Yeah, um, yeah, it was really bad man. And I questioned why I did that I guess for entertainment you're welcome Spencer also got a tattoo.
Are you second guessing that? No, that one? No, that came out really good. It did that guy kill it.
What's his name? And he did the tattoo on your arm too, right? Oh, he did that too? Oh my god, no, this is what I'm talking about.
Yeah, we are. I haven't got this light bulb tattooed on his arm and there's a brain in it And what is it left brain right brain creative versus logic? Yes, the issue that all of us are had It's called groupthink The light bulb is a bit dated and it has a very evident tungsten fillet here Now tungsten wait tungsten also known as wolf room. That's why it's the w on the periodic table Tungsten is no longer used in most light bulbs.
There's no here. This is an Edison bulb. Okay. Wow.
You guys are a bunch of sheep That is an Edison bulb It is how do you figure it is? Coels bro I'm just saying florescent bulbs are in tungsten balls. That looks a lot closer Bro, it's not exactly what I'm sorry Can I make a quick? They're dated.
No. No, no. No, no, no, no. No, no.
No, no, no dated is not the word. Why would I get that tattooed? Because it's 2019 dude, it is more efficient Okay, I got no, I'll wait on this point. I'll shut the whole conversation down.
I go let's go Just because something is old i.e. me, i.e. Metallica, i.e. Aaron is ilets Eplin doesn't mean they're not the motherfucking best things going bro.
The kid got something dope classic And the epitome of light and light hood tattooed on is on yeah, okay? And one of those is Evan is a fucking classic bro, the day Evan goes out of style will be the day that I Am not it won't happen Here's the thing Because you're getting feedback from someone who has a squirtle tattoo next to his penis and then Oh The woman's head in the sword going through it telling you that your tattoo not say There wait, I'm not saying it's insufficient. I'm just portals don't wear sunglasses Logan. You know this mind.
I know this cool It's not realistic when you say school is fuck you hate him. I hate him I I get so much pleasure seeing how different people react mainly girls about girls, you know That's like excited about it. Yeah, oh for sure. I was like the coolest girls because they're probably like weird and quirky like me You know that's a good call out because some girl that I have a little bit of a crush on it's a digital crush But we're like talking she's like a huge anime She goes like the comic con shit and she takes pictures Rick and Morty like she's not popping bottles at the club She's hanging out Rick and Morty dresses some fun girls like that anime Like that's dope if you're an anime chicken you're out there.
You're cool if you're Rick and Morty. You're cool Do you guys know Bell Delphine is Let me pull up this girl real quick. Let's go. Let's talk about girls for the rest of the episode I've all it's such a great thing to talk about the female Gen.
Bell Delphine. Um, I talked to this girl a little bit She went viral recently. She's like a what is it called? Consulate yeah, but she's popping right now for 4.5 million followers.
Look at this engagement 650,000 like 800,000 like and she like bro like but she's kind of dirty bro. She has a ball It's on her t-shirt though. I'm saying don't underestimate Pokemon. So this is this is Central wifey look that's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying I spoke with her a little bit because she did this thing Where she on what is that comment from Lulu Brise? Oh, oh no, I don't want to read that Any girl who's doing stuff like this is gonna get hate cuz especially like She sold her bathwater she she put her bathwater in cartons and sold it see and people bought it like the gamer boys love her They love her and it's this weird phenomenon cuz she's like a really pretty girl You can see but she's making bank from selling her bathwater and she drinks it a lot of them do I'm friends with the girl the wrong business. Yes, I think so when I talked to her she told me to do something like this What she said I think my like socks or something and maybe she's right you were gonna sell your own pair or your beer I was gonna sell my beer you can't do it on eBay though, and I think I would have to sit there and package Well, you were dancing Danny I don't want to make make her do that though It also there's a different type of sentiment for a really pretty girl and like a guy gamer dudes gamer dudes Yeah, like I'm honest gamer dudes will buy and do anything this girl says because that's their like And they're making gua nowadays gaming is gaming is is growing the next weekend this comes one's this come out Friday next next weekend Not this one coming up with one after New York is the world cop is it fortnight? I think it's the fourth same day challenge again.
So I'm a great planning in your part. That's a lot dude. No, no Sure, but I also wanted banks and rice and all that rice rice will be there. Oh, right?
Oh, he's wide the first guest ever walk off the show twice No, you're the first guest to walk twice. Yeah, you first guest walk twice Um, so anyways the world cup of gaming I don't know what it's called. It's a 30 million dollar prize first Wow, like think about imagine winning the duo's Tournament for fortnight and then writing a check for 10 million wait, okay, please look it up ballot what the prize first? Yeah, I'd rather look at this girl.
Oh, so there's another game check that I'm friends with their cosplay names Meg turny You can you are you able to offer? No, I can't know because the cosplay thing is interesting to me like this is a whole Another she's she's an OG. So she's not she's not the same But all your friends like similar kind of stuff, but they're very they get dressed up and like there's a whole industry Yeah, and that dude is a Gavin free her husband. I think Yeah, they get dressed up.
Yeah, I'm saying I'm so intrigued by it because I don't know much about it I'd like to know more you know we go comic-con this weekend This weekend this weekend Let's wait in San Diego. Yes Saturday only girl that I have I can only go Saturday because I'm going to New York Sunday. You're New York Stop I'll be there to say this the girl I have the digital crush on is that comic-con this weekend should we go like I'm flowers or something so is my ex Dress up as me. I'm gonna dress up as a sex might be a little weird.
Oh, oh, I have a shirt Squirtle have a shirt that That no, why don't we get why we do the whole nine and get dressed like get dressed as characters, bro? Can we do that any? Come on fuck it Any silence that we do will be the longest silencing a place of history you broke it Oh, you broke it. Oh, yeah, Danny.
Did you laugh? Yeah, you're funny and just a nice aint you a sheep Mike. Huh? Yeah, I didn't think you were I was gonna make a I'm referring I guess feel about hand job about what I really am No, fucking lion.
That's another animal hand jobs went out right around Sadie Hawkins So I'm gonna try to give me a hand job a couple weeks ago and literally I'm like sitting there looking at her doing it She's like wow, I thought you'd be more excited about this. I'm like yeah, I'm like you're really not even hard You're just sitting there with your dry-ass bench press hands Sure, come on clock in the afternoon. I would say did you expect me to get? Oh, you know what I'm thinking about right now lunch, okay?
If my brain goes to lunch while you're trying to give me a fucking old-fashioned behind a dumpster at the public library What are we doing here, bro woman woman, bro? Like why does she why does she do it? Why does it have to be dry because here's what she said halfway through it also that was harmful. She's like I'm a fuck.
I'm not gonna. She's like she's like I don't want to make you upset What do this I do have to tell you I have a boyfriend Worse any worse and I'm sitting there not this one. I'm like yo like have you ever jerked off a rubber band because that's what you're doing You're playing with a piece of fucking salmon Sam like what's going lady like Bring something to the party besides a fucking play the bro, but I you know my opinion and I feel like you're on the same page You can't underestimate a good age. Yeah, you can't it's true.
They do it right. That's why bro like Sometimes I'll go out of my way and I'll ask politely of course just like it's excuse me. Can I please have the flamingion? Yeah, excuse me.
I you please give me a job and Try to do it the other day and go she goes look at him. She goes. Sorry. I can't I'm sorry I can't give you a hand job and uh name me sad bro, but then she blew you probably Just wanted off in the sunset I didn't see that whatever people say sentences and I think are funny and that like when I was born I never thought I'd hear such as I'm sorry.
I can't give you a hand job like she's apologizing Yeah, you're like thank you like I write it down and that's when you just kind of like you just sip on your tea And you're just like why hate whenever girls apologize for anything sexual like when they're like um I can't do this tonight I'm like first of all I didn't ask it. We're just laying in bed like I'll be honest I'm ready to go to sleep. I don't give a shit if you told me that my food my reach wasn't coming without a fucking problem I don't give a shit. Okay, if you happen to slide down my fire pole great If not I don't care dude like let's just go to bed a fucking tired I'm eating fucking podcast tomorrow.
Yo, I swear to God bro ever since you have that show the night shift You've gotten funnier. I'm just because I'm always on camera Why are you on today? You are slightly more aggressive on this show than the night shift though, which is bad like the night I'm just not Because I'll be honest. I'm having to get that ass since let's be honest.
No, that's not why cuz I'm having trouble Hard There's things. Yeah, I'm having trouble I'll be honest with you. I don't want my boys there. It's really I mean, it's becoming tough.
It's not becoming tough. I know by the way I'll get there because people have said it bro. You have it you have it You can do it on your own but like yo having homies with me bro like we're able to Just like this show is because we're all chilling Yeah, it's true. It's about I love you guys.
Yeah, I love you, bro Oh, that's not do you want to tell you one other thing that we walked off the set and it was just a really stressful I think a lot of people come up to me like yeah, like I'm sorry I had to go through that live errand shows off right and he came up to me and he walked right out that door and he goes Hey, man, I just want to let you know I fucking love you dude And he went like this and I go to hug him and he shook Brad's hand. He was talking to Brad He was he was talking to Brad the fucking producer the other guy and I literally was like I feel so embarrassed right now As if my knife wouldn't get any worse. I just stole someone's salutation Like what the fuck I do love you, but let's be honest, bro Brad's been here for like 90% of the episodes He's just switching cameras to the highest degree of yeah efficiency quality Yeah, we fucking love Brad when things go wrong Brad's always there. He showed up on a 30-minute notice before on a skateboard He shows up sweating on the skateboard and it's like how far did you come?
27 months Comes in bloody still switching the cameras with blood dripping To show up somewhere covered in blood. Oh we can make well overdue It's always a surprise when that one person shows up to where you are and face dripping in blood Yeah, and I've yet to have that happens Whatever happens. I just don't ask you. Okay.
I just don't want to get into their business. Yeah Well, it's personal it is personal it happened me once I fell off a log I was climbing a log and I fell and I showed up and I don't say I don't mind blood So I'll show up and use it as some sort of like a conversation. I break her look at this picture This happened my car once you know bloody I was after this Wow The front is completely I drove it into a ravine five in the morning I just fell asleep the engine blocks on your engine is a tree it became a I think it was a tester or something, but I guess you can't drive sleeping. It's impossible doing both of this doing one separately You do it in the Tesla now this is a Infiniti G35 2008 I woke up in a river in a river dude I kicked the door open and there's people down there sir are you okay?
And I just started tasting the steady flow of blood I'm Literally penned a paper, but not signed a pen to paper on my book contract with a massive publishing house That has that worked on work to join Del for and some other big dogs the books coming it's coming out I'm an answer brother getting me a writer to finish it or like to clean it up and finish it So all of these kind of things don't be public because I'll be honest with you Every fucking bloody gut story in that book you need a section of the book I don't know if you guys have ever seen these books that have pictures in the middle. Yeah, like a few pages worth of pictures You need it. Hey, that's actually great great call. Yeah, that's a great call.
Yeah So if you if the rawest of photos that you have if you can if you can pull some Miracle shit dude and somehow become a billionaire in the next like 30 days or so You your book could become a movie like your almost your story is almost epic enough to be turned into a film What does Mike have to do anything else in this life? So yes, they watch the movie like oh, dude He's just what cuz look like from from I'm just lit nobody wrong. Yes the answer. Yes, like any person like Mike made it Like especially come from where he came from like he made it right but for a film to be made this can't be the climate I will what do we got what do we got what do you got in your time?
I disagree only and I understand that I disagree only because you see like silver linings play both dude like he went from Rehab to running in a trash bag and I think back to rehab or so like I it was it was an arc I'm like this. I mean boy the best movies ever made you'd rather Cooper cross like a amazing movie But like I don't think there needs to be I think there just needs to be one core storyline Which was yo we have a drug epidemic in this country my story highlights that and also has some of the most visceral Graphic things like the lady who read the my manuscript that I'd written so far was like I don't know how to say this But how are you alive? How are you alive still this this car crash is one of one thousand things that should have taken my life One of one that's just one little tiny thing and so she's like I and by the way How is your mother still alive and I'm like yo honestly my mom should have no hair so what's your I guess what's your purpose now? In life because that's what I take away from these stories is that when I come out It's like I meet someone who's just on a on a journey now.
They have their purpose quickly I want I want people to never ever ever ever tap out ever ever ever tap out because I think I think a lot of people Get settled into thinking that if they make it out of the slump they're in that they'll just be okay I want people to know that if you make it out of the slump that you're in you're gonna be at the top of the world Like you literally can go from I was ice-call I say I was at negative 99 at the end of my addiction I had one foot in the grave I was ready to die I accepted it like I could have written on my tombstone from there to where I am now is There's so much separation and so much growth that you literally can come out of the depression You're in the anxious failure in whatever you're going through it now and become the top of the world And there's a lot of people who have done that and who are doing it happening more and more because of digital and because all the things You don't need degrees and all that classic traditional stuff for so number one is my purpose is tell people don't type out number two I want to people laugh a lot of people laugh and I want people to just have a good time to motor I want to entertain That's it for right now. I'm sure more stuff will come and I do want to help addicts I do really badly want to help that I want people to get me in touch with other addicts and talk to them and make them Understand point one which was not to give up got it Remember the conversation we had with Ash and Sweden There's a lot with a lot of those But he said you know have a metric for your goals So when I when I say no I want to be the biggest entertainer in the world good goal But there's no metric right there's no how can I tell when I've done that measure? It's it's not a problem But it's gonna be more ideal and more effective if you have a metric for your goals some people their goal is to I want to be a billionaire That's a metric but ash made a comment to a super wise guy He said he said what do you do with your billion dollars to feed your purpose? So what are you gonna do with your goal to feed your purpose?
So find your purpose my purpose what my kind of just said I believe I was put on this earth to make people happy and to entertain them I like being the the jester per se and so You know I'd love to make a billion dollars But how much of that am I gonna put back into the people through content products? Whatever it is you'd say you're honing in on that now or have you I don't know It's it's one of those things it takes it takes a bit to digest truly You know cuz like make a billion dollars in like a goal of mine It'd be cool like maybe sweet the other thing brought up that I thought was really cool too is not only thinking about The goal and why you want to achieve that goal But also what are you willing to do or not do together? And so a lot of people have this goal of being either a millionaire or a billionaire He said you understand every billionaire that I know has worked 120 hour weeks for the last 20 years Yeah, they do not see their family They do not enjoy time off they none of those things exist for them And so when people have these these audacious goals of being multi millionaires or billionaires understand what comes along with that Oh, yeah, most people can't accept like the actual, you know what they need to do I think another thing too. I actually put this on my Instagram story like two weeks ago I think people who are they're probably hearing this and they're saying well I don't know what my purpose is I feel lost like how do I find it?
I think the biggest thing you can do is just take an uncertain step forward if you don't know like the worst thing you can do is take No step forward or step backward, but the best thing you can do if you don't know your purpose is at least take an uncertain step forward I love uncertain steps when you you know first went to rehab like that's a very uncertain step like you moving to Hollywood uncertain step You you know cutting out weed that's an uncertain step like all of us have those it should be scary Yeah, it should make you uncomfortable So I think people that get to hung up on like oh, you know, what's my purpose like I feel lost well Just it takes a step forward like that. You don't know what you're doing just take it There's an incredible quote about indecision that I'm looking for right now that is I think it's something like the right decision is The best the wrong decision is not great the worst decision or the worst decision is indecision like basically like indecision is the worst So yeah, the worst thing So if you're faced with a decision in life and you do nothing that is always and will always be the worst thing you can ever do If you do something wrong you will learn from it if you do something right great job You did something right but not doing anything and staying stuck in life is the worst thing I think like you the point you just make kind of almost lean starts faking So you make it a little bit just do is just start doing stuff be what you want to be doing Be decisive. That's a big that's a big also like character. No, dude Like how how annoying is it if you've dated someone and you're like, okay, what do you want to go to eat?
Where you want to go really don't care. Okay, let's go to my shows when you're at my shows I really wasn't in the mood for steak tonight You said you didn't care lady be decisive be opinionated like one of the what are the traits that I am looking for in my future Wife I want this to be opinionated. I'm a hard about care about things and express those viewpoints to me with emphasis. Yeah Yeah, yeah, what's that?
Yeah, what are you looking at? I want I want to find a quote. It's okay Absolutely insane episode one one like I mean honestly No, this one I feel like we just went all over the place. Yeah, we did in a real good way in a real good way So what's the next chapter looking like for this one hundred one and beyond?
That's a great question. We gotta do another live We gotta do another live. I'm not sure if we should do it at 150 if we should do it at the one-year anniversary I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, dude No, I don't think so there was too much going on We have a crowd like every episode the answer that question is that will happen when this is moved to a professional studio Elsewhere in Hollywood and we have to show up as if it's a job and it's like a true show with a giant budget And fan fans to like big fans that are so AC like what everything we have to do to keep it cool Sorry, it's all good.
Uh, but I don't know bro. Like I thought um is it is it bad if we do two episodes a week? Horrible, I think the fans are sorry. Is this a real real question?
Here's why part of the reason the night shift does so well and by the way So does Jake and Logan is because it's one week it's scarce You know, you're not oversupplied with it You feel like you have to watch because we spit out a lot of knowledge, bro And how much are we giving that we could make it a little more quality over quantity? I think and this is a point you've made in the past on it being a long play I think that the value we're currently offering our current fans is so great that like literally if we took an episode Away from I think they would actually be quite upset about it like there are fans of ours I literally are like, yo, this is how I get through a shift at work This is how I get through my depression like I love having these regimented three episodes per week The other thing I will say is if Rogan went to three episodes per week right now at his stature He would get to see he would just crush it crush it three times a week I don't even know what is the episodes we do seven times a week So when we I think as we continue to get better guests better at the show doing better more press and more people come to the show We'll be doing a million plus views a week three times a week It's gonna happen it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. Yeah, I'm with you on that as far as um what else the future holds I think I mean I think the caliber of guests is going to increase I don't want to nix yeah nix anyone just yeah, but like I think we're gonna be able to get some high quality guest Sponsors dude like all jokes aside.
We had a first-year sponsor and a hundred neck. I just got two more confirmed today So we're probably gonna be making money. So like crazy So where are you did you expect the first a hundred episodes to be did you expect us to be where we're at right now? No, man I didn't have any expectations I mean like the goal was always to make the sickest show and and more importantly me actually enjoy what I'm doing Because if I if I'm not like you can tell like with with twitch for example I think about this a lot because I like to try a bunch of different things and I remember I streamed on twitch for a minute Yeah, and it wasn't the video the streaming that I didn't like it was like Just give board of video games like I don't like video games You know what I'm saying like I can do it for eight months and then I'm like I literally look around I'm like fuck And not only that but like even if you did like something about this show something about the sauce something about this There's a sauce.
It's something about the studio the people on it like I don't really know how to say it exactly But the people fuck with us bro like we have we've become a cultural Point right now like people watch the show and they're like y'all watching positive to get this out And by the way, you're already seeing it with me But the show is starting to churn out stars spin-offs like now I've got the night shift you have your channel going like people someone who's a clickbait Yeah Like this did you watch it though? I did News I got news I saw someone in the yellow shirt, but I didn't see their face I got to tell you it as quickly peeks is here We have peeks on the next podcast he brought fucking perch drink with him. He brought fucking to no offense Jerry I love Jerry, but we have we have we said some things we said no He knows he's in the challenge games in the challenge It'll be fine. I guess we're gonna go to the audio only right now And I want to actually talk about this video of Dana white talking about me going to the U of C I just want to play a little bit talking tees you a little bit a little bit away to second or don't play it Just play the audio.
Okay, okay great So I'm gonna talk about Dana white me possibly fighting in the UFC was good hit that subscribe button ladies and gentlemen We love you in policy episode one oh one hey big mic Spencer Taylor and Evan eckenrode kade war from mom But we'll see you guys next time peace I said You know I got Hollywood fixed. You know I got paparazzi our boy Fletcher who we actually had on the show did you see him at the charity basketball game camera And What Really quickly did he ask you no you invited him. Oh, sorry sorry. Sorry.
Yeah, I have an action I work I work with the people put on the event and I said hey you want some press because I got the Hollywood fix guys Don't fuck oh, okay, and he also got yelled at because he was too close to the court during the game He doesn't give a fuck he get that goddamn footage Yeah, but yeah, he got Dana white the other day check out check out Dean said Logan Paul because he's he mentioned you several times And want you to let him in you ever have a chance? Everybody keeps asking about all this crazy shit like you know Bieber and Cruz Logan Paul and all these other guys I don't know yeah, and fair Abraham had a fight to and for some reason it got canceled But I mean you think it would make money would it be something good to do even if it was just a separate like celebrity I know that that kid Logan Paul fought before and it did well on the internet. I know they made money so yeah Yeah, okay, so maybe it was a fighting chance I don't know what would be the scenario he comes into the UFC and fights It was all good until he said I would get killed he's talking about the kid though man That's what's up. That's true.
That's your kid. My name is my friend and last time my last time when my name was in his mouth He wasn't this friendly about last time he was like if I let Logan Paul find the UFC I should be arrested and now he's like you know I'm going to be arrested with the pair Trust but to be honest with you bro If we want to secure that big bag I can find the OSC. I'll put on my own shit Just like we did just like we did the U.S. You would be like a bucket listening But Dana's I can tell he's breaking what if you get asked her and oh what if you cuz you look in a weird way You kind of look like that is in a weird way cuz you got that funky hair.
It's very possible If you just get a flying cow among a smash cock right to the face, bro. Yeah, that's a crazy move That is a crazy move I don't want to say it's lethal. Well it happened to Ben Asker. He's still asleep.
That's not a chance. No, no No, he woke up and put the other guy to sleep. Did he win a fight after that? No, he won that fight.
No different different different That was way back. Oh, no, you didn't see Ben Asker get knocked out by fucking see that. Wait, it's the most violent thing I've ever seen Bro, it's as fast as knock out UFC history really hold up or it's audio only let's keep talking like do you want to try to Show him? Okay, I can't Yeah, the most recent He woke up and he woke up and and tweeted well that's so that's so sweet Now he handled it well I mean the issue was fancy he had so much beef with this dude like they were they were mortal and you're talking hella like Hellish it family raised all that stuff and so when this dude knock on five seconds You can imagine like how fucking stupid by the way There was a lot of conversation cuz he didn't get the mo delo plug done.
I like it is it Do five second knock out Ben asking five second knock out. I don't know. I don't know. Oh here They didn't even get the mo delo plug done Bell rings.
Oh my god And I literally then took three more to the door. It was really only three seconds. Oh my god And then after dude the dude Jorge Mazridal who celebrated by going And then he like fell over and they asked him they're like hey Do you think the punches after he was already not knocked out were necessary? He goes together super necessary like he's cold Well, not every every every every guy would say that until that that refile.
Yeah, bro, but the way he said it Yeah, he goes there was super nice. He's a cold man He says he says even now if he sees him the girl she's gonna slap the face of his mouth Whole foods he was like when I'm a senior whole foods. I'm still gonna fuck. Are they gonna fight again?
But that said that said if he hadn't landed that knee No, bro. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna prove his ability as a Ground-s I You've seen something because he's a wrestler, bro, and they knew that if anything goes wrong like a guy sprinting at you and jumping in the air He's gonna reach for your legs completely open himself up for a knee to the fucking neck I wish we'd been peeps on next podcast. Well, that's crazy. I'm excited for peeps a little is closer to my age He's always pushing these days 33 I'm excited. I just give you a good one.
We love you red as my songs and pulse it