Loneliness Like Elijah's

(00:00:45): Do you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or everyday struggles? (00:00:49): Join mental health coach, (00:00:50): inner healing prayer warrior, (00:00:52): author, (00:00:53): and trauma survivor, (00:00:54): Tammy Kennington, (00:00:55): on From Hardship to Hope, (00:00:57): the podcast for Christian women navigating motherhood, (00:00:59): mental health, (00:01:00): or matters of faith. (00:01:02): If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you. (00:01:08): Welcome. (00:01:09): I'm your host, Tammy Kennington. (00:01:11): Today, we're discussing loneliness. (00:01:14): within the framework of Scripture. (00:01:17): We'll delve into the life of Elijah and consider some takeaways, (00:01:21): and at the end of the episode, (00:01:24): discuss specific ways to grow through and beyond loneliness. (00:01:29): So let's get started. (00:01:33): The article read, (00:01:35): Lonely old man in his 80s, (00:01:37): strong-bodied, (00:01:38): can shop, (00:01:38): cook, (00:01:39): and take care of himself. (00:01:41): No chronic illness. (00:01:43): I retired from a scientific research institute with a monthly pension of $946 a month. (00:01:50): My hope is that a kind-hearted person or family will adopt me, (00:01:53): nourish me through old age, (00:01:55): and bury my body when I'm dead. (00:01:58): This is taken from a 2021 news article written by a man named Han in China. (00:02:06): I often wonder about Han. (00:02:09): Did someone usher him into their family? (00:02:12): Did a Christian community invite him to church? (00:02:16): Did they meet his need for friendship, for companionship, for protection? (00:02:24): The book Project Unlonely by Dr. Jeremy Noble exposes what he terms the loneliness crisis. (00:02:31): And he notes that trauma, (00:02:33): aging, (00:02:34): illness, (00:02:34): and differences all contribute to loneliness, (00:02:39): one of the world's gravest social issues. (00:02:43): Yet we know from Scripture the story of loneliness is as old as time. (00:02:48): In Genesis 2 we read, Soon after Adam was created, (00:02:54): that God said it is not good for man to be alone. (00:02:57): We were made to commune with God and one another. (00:03:03): But after the fall, that need for companionship became altered. (00:03:11): Men no longer walked with God in the garden. (00:03:14): There was a gap in that relationship. (00:03:18): And the relationship between men and women was altered. (00:03:22): And we see that all throughout Adam's family with his sons having such struggle (00:03:30): that one rose up and killed the other. (00:03:34): That discomfort that loneliness brings with it reminds us of the importance of relationship. (00:03:42): Many people from Scripture also experience that same struggle, (00:03:46): and we can learn a lot from what the Bible records about them. (00:03:49): So today we're going to talk about one of the greatest prophets in the Old Testament, Elijah. (00:03:57): He was a powerful, influential man at the time. (00:04:00): He reprimanded King Ahab, who had let all of the northern kingdom of Israel into idolatry. (00:04:06): Elijah called fire down from heaven on Mount Carmel, yet he experienced acute loneliness. (00:04:14): In 1 Kings, (00:04:15): we discover that he was fearing for his life after revealing to Ahab that there (00:04:20): would be a famine in the land that would only end at his command. (00:04:26): The prophet, led by God, hid by the brook Cherith. (00:04:32): And out of curiosity, I looked up the meaning of that Hebrew word. (00:04:37): I discovered it means community of misfits and off the mainstream. (00:04:44): It intrigues me that God sent his faithful follower to a creek that reflected Elijah's light (00:04:52): Elijah didn't align with society's values. (00:04:55): In fact, he opposed the idolatry of those in the mainstream. (00:05:00): And I wonder how many of us feel like we've camped by the brook designated for (00:05:04): those swimming upstream. (00:05:06): Maybe you feel that way. (00:05:09): Maybe your family sees you as the Bible thumper. (00:05:14): Maybe you're the only Christian in your family. (00:05:17): Maybe you struggle to connect with co-workers because instead of using Jesus as a (00:05:24): curse word, (00:05:25): it's said in prayer. (00:05:28): Maybe you feel abandoned by a loved one. (00:05:35): Maybe you are lonely for a prodigal in your life. (00:05:42): A well-known author, (00:05:43): Lisa Turkhurst, (00:05:45): once wrote on Proverbs 31 about attending an event and how she felt so rejected and overlooked. (00:05:56): She says, (00:05:57): I couldn't wait to be with these people, (00:05:59): and I couldn't wait for the deep friendships that would surely bloom as a result of (00:06:03): our time together. (00:06:04): Walking into the meeting room, I quickly located the table of the people I was excited to meet. (00:06:10): Every seat had a name tag attached, so I circled the table looking for mine. (00:06:15): As I got to the last chair and realized my name wasn't there, my heart sank. (00:06:20): Finally, at a table on the opposite side of the room, I found my name. (00:06:24): The Lord must have a special plan for me to meet and connect with the others (00:06:28): assigned to my table, (00:06:29): I thought. (00:06:30): Taking my seat, I pulled out my cell phone and waited nervously for my table mates. (00:06:35): I waited and waited and waited. (00:06:39): As the prayer for the meal concluded and the event got underway, (00:06:42): it became painfully apparent to me that the others assigned to my table weren't (00:06:47): able to come for some reason. (00:06:49): So I'd be seated alone. (00:06:52): Very alone. (00:06:53): In my head, I started to have a little pity conversation. (00:06:57): Well, self, would you like a roll or ten perhaps? (00:07:00): And that's when a very clear sentence popped into my head. (00:07:04): You aren't set aside, Lisa. (00:07:05): You are set apart. (00:07:08): It wasn't audible and it wasn't my own thought. (00:07:11): I knew it was a thought assigned by God that I needed to ponder. (00:07:15): To be set aside is to be rejected. (00:07:18): That's exactly what the enemy wanted me to feel. (00:07:21): If he could get me to feel this, (00:07:23): then I'd become completely self-absorbed in my own insecurity and miss whatever (00:07:29): reason God had for me to be at this event. (00:07:32): When loneliness sets in, I wonder, are those enemy's arrows finding their mark? (00:07:42): Let's deny the enemy the victory over our minds. (00:07:46): Scripture actually calls us to be holy, which literally means set apart. (00:07:53): We are to be the Elijahs of our day. (00:07:59): Elijah's story does not end at the creek side. (00:08:03): Instead, the drought that he had announced to King Ahab affected him. (00:08:09): The brook dried up and his provision as well. (00:08:14): But God had a solution. (00:08:16): He sent the prophet four hours away to Phoenicia. (00:08:23): There was a widow there, and Elijah met her and said, please give me some bread and some water. (00:08:29): And she proceeded to tell him, (00:08:32): look, (00:08:32): I'm just out here gathering sticks to make a little fire and to use the last of my (00:08:36): flour and oil to make a final bit of bread for my son and me, (00:08:45): and then we know we'll die. (00:08:49): God sent Elijah to an unbelieving woman who called God your God. (00:08:57): And in her kindness, (00:09:02): she listened to Elijah, (00:09:04): made him the bread, (00:09:06): and invited the man God loved into her home. (00:09:12): And not only did God continue to give them flour and oil to sustain them throughout (00:09:19): the entirety of the famine and the drought, (00:09:24): but when that woman's son died, (00:09:27): Elijah raised him back from the dead, (00:09:31): and she recognized God as her own. (00:09:35): So God extended mercy not just to Elijah— (00:09:38): but also to the woman and her son. (00:09:42): It's such a beautiful story of God's mercy and compassion and provision. (00:09:49): After three years, the Lord called Elijah back to Israel to confront Ahab. (00:10:02): And while he was there, he met the priests of Baal on Mount Carmel. (00:10:08): There were 450 of them, (00:10:12): all calling out to their God, (00:10:15): Baal, (00:10:16): all calling out for him to answer their prayers. (00:10:20): Meanwhile, Elijah said, whoever has a God that answers, he is the true and living God. (00:10:28): When the prophets of Baal finally gave up, they had gashed themselves. (00:10:34): They had called out for hours until their voices were hoarse. (00:10:38): And Elijah said, pour water on this altar. (00:10:42): And he dug a trench and gallons and gallons and gallons of water absolutely (00:10:48): drenched the wood on the altar. (00:10:51): Elijah called out to God and fire came down and consumed the altar, (00:10:58): the wood, (00:10:59): the water, (00:11:00): and the dust. (00:11:03): After that, Elijah had all of those false prophets killed. (00:11:11): Upset and angry, (00:11:13): Ahab fled home to his wife, (00:11:15): who happened to be the most dangerous enemy in the kingdom, (00:11:22): Jezebel. (00:11:24): And when she heard of Elijah's victory, she put a price on Elijah's head, and he fled in fear. (00:11:34): into the wilderness. (00:11:36): In his despair, he called out, I have had enough. (00:11:42): I wonder if you're in that same place today, (00:11:45): if you've been in that place before, (00:11:48): if you've been alone in the wilderness or even there now shouting the words, (00:11:52): I've had enough. (00:11:58): God did not condemn Elijah, (00:12:02): despite his skewed perception of circumstances, (00:12:05): because truly, (00:12:06): loneliness can lead to his skewed perception of our situation. (00:12:11): Like Elijah, we might call out, I alone am left. (00:12:16): Nobody understands me. (00:12:18): Nobody understands my situation. (00:12:21): Nobody gets my pain. (00:12:23): Nobody understands my grief. (00:12:25): Nobody understands what it is to grapple with this illness. (00:12:29): There's no one else who gets trauma like this. (00:12:34): Elijah was in that place. (00:12:38): But Obadiah, (00:12:40): a servant over Ahab's household, (00:12:43): had hidden and provided for 100 prophets who loved the Lord. (00:12:47): Elijah wasn't alone. (00:12:49): But he was so consumed by self and situation, (00:12:52): he couldn't remove his gaze from the pain to the power of God. (00:13:02): One of my favorite psalms, Psalm 121, (00:13:07): encourages us to take a different approach it says i lift up my eyes to the hills (00:13:13): from whence comes my help my help comes from the lord who made the heavens and the (00:13:19): earth when we can remove our eyes from our own pain and look toward heaven and (00:13:29): heaven's purpose (00:13:32): Our circumstance itself may remain the same, but we can be transformed. (00:13:38): Let's take a closer look at God's response to Elijah's loneliness. (00:13:43): We've seen how Elijah responded to his loneliness, (00:13:47): but let's take a look to see how God responded to him. When Elijah said, I've had enough, I can't take anymore, God did not condemn him. (00:14:01): His scripture reveals that God sent an angel instead to refresh his exhausted follower. (00:14:08): He provided him with heaven-sent bread and a jug of fresh water. (00:14:14): Afterward, (00:14:15): Elijah launched on a 40-day journey until he arrived on Mount Horeb, (00:14:21): the same mountain that Moses hiked up to receive the commandments, (00:14:27): the same mountain Moses hiked where he saw the burning bush. (00:14:33): God heard the prophet's lament, (00:14:35): not once, (00:14:36): but twice, (00:14:37): when Elijah said, (00:14:38): I've been very zealous for the Lord, (00:14:41): and I alone am left. (00:14:45): Maybe you have been zealous for the Lord too. (00:14:49): You've done all the right things. (00:14:51): I thought that if I did all the right things in my life, (00:14:55): if I followed God, (00:14:57): if I raised my children in a home with a Christian husband and we directed them (00:15:02): toward the face of God, (00:15:04): then A plus B would equal C. (00:15:06): Things would fall into place. (00:15:08): But life isn't like that. (00:15:10): We do have an enemy. (00:15:12): And the world is fallen. (00:15:15): But what I love is that God reveals him in the most unexpected way. (00:15:21): And he can do this for Elijah. (00:15:23): He can do this for us. (00:15:27): 1 Kings 19 reads, He came there to a cave and lodged there. (00:15:41): And behold, the word of God came to him and he said, What are you doing, Elijah? (00:15:47): And he said, (00:15:47): I've been very zealous for Yahweh, (00:15:48): the God of hosts, (00:15:50): for the sons of Israel have forsaken your covenant, (00:15:53): pulled down your altars, (00:15:54): and killed your prophets with the sword, (00:15:55): and I alone am left. (00:15:58): So God said, Go forth, stand on the mountain. (00:16:01): And behold, (00:16:02): Yahweh was passing by, (00:16:04): and a great and strong wind was tearing up the mountains and breaking in pieces the (00:16:08): rocks before Yahweh. (00:16:10): But Yahweh was not in the wind. (00:16:12): And after the wind, an earthquake, but Yahweh was not in the earthquake. (00:16:17): Then after the earthquake, a fire, but Yahweh was not in the fire. (00:16:21): And after the fire, a sound of a thin, gentle whisper. (00:16:27): Now that it happened that when Elijah heard it, (00:16:29): he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. (00:16:35): And behold, a voice came to him and said, What are you doing here, Elijah? (00:16:40): God's gentle whisper. (00:16:44): Elijah suffered through the famine. (00:16:47): He dealt with persecution. (00:16:48): He managed isolation. (00:16:51): But he also encountered the Lord. (00:16:54): God sustained him. (00:16:57): He was promised community and he was commissioned for a new thing. (00:17:05): To anoint a prophet and a new king. (00:17:10): That gentle whisper of God is for us too. (00:17:14): We can hear his gentle whisper in the Holy Spirit when we meet with him, (00:17:18): when we abide in him, (00:17:20): when we climb that spiritual mountain and we say, (00:17:24): God, (00:17:24): I can't do this on my own, (00:17:26): but you can. (00:17:29): So just as God met Elijah in his loneliness, he will meet us in ours. (00:17:39): We know. (00:17:40): That when Elijah was alone, God did something interesting. (00:17:44): He at first addressed Elijah's physical needs. (00:17:47): He provided nourishment. (00:17:50): He provided water and food and rest. (00:17:55): And then he offered him comfort and guidance. (00:17:59): God is our provider. (00:18:01): The Lord's Prayer tells us, Give us this day our daily bread. (00:18:06): But He's also the God who is our spiritual river. (00:18:11): He will fill us to overflowing with the Holy Spirit. (00:18:14): And that Holy Spirit is the same one who is our comfort and our guide. (00:18:21): He's our advocate. (00:18:24): We are not left alone. (00:18:29): And now let's explore a little bit more about how God's presence in the stillness (00:18:33): and solitude transformed Elijah. (00:18:39): From the point at which Elijah met the Lord on Mount Horeb, he gained spiritual strength. (00:18:47): He put on that spiritual mantle. (00:18:52): And God led him back to Israel where he declared God's power. (00:18:59): He anointed a new king and a new prophet who took on Elijah's mantle. (00:19:06): He fulfilled his mission. (00:19:11): The reality is that loneliness is not uncommon, Christian or not. (00:19:16): We all face an internal battle in times of isolation. (00:19:20): We can face feelings of unfruitfulness, of unproductivity. (00:19:25): Sometimes our thoughts gain the upper hand and lead us to a private wilderness of (00:19:29): pain and isolation. (00:19:34): How are we to cope when that happens? (00:19:38): First, we need to recognize that as God assured Elijah he was not alone, (00:19:44): and reminded him of the 7,000 other prophets in Israel who had not bowed to Baal, (00:19:52): that there is a modern-day church filled with believers walking through their own (00:19:57): and even similar valleys. (00:20:02): 72% of women say they sometimes feel lonely. (00:20:05): They are in our churches. (00:20:07): They're sitting next to us or behind us in the church pew. (00:20:12): They're in us in our play groups. (00:20:15): They're by our side in Bible studies. (00:20:18): They're sitting with us on that commute to work. (00:20:23): They are in the lounge space. (00:20:27): at work, (00:20:28): next to us, (00:20:30): when we're in the grocery store, (00:20:33): wherever it might be, (00:20:34): there is another person who feels that loneliness. (00:20:41): So we too, (00:20:42): as the body of Christ, (00:20:44): can minister to those walking through a season that we understand. (00:20:52): And in those wilderness times, (00:20:56): We know that our solitude is not wasted. (00:20:59): For Elijah, it was a time of renewal and clarity, a recommissioning for new work. (00:21:06): What is that new thing he might be doing in your life? (00:21:11): These moments of loneliness can be opportunities of growth for us. (00:21:15): They can be opportunities even for preparation or deeper intimacy with God. (00:21:20): In fact, 40 days of fasting and prayer are shown throughout Scripture. (00:21:28): Moses was on the mountain for 40 days, fasting and in prayer. (00:21:33): Jesus went through the wilderness for 40 days. (00:21:37): But after testing, (00:21:39): there was, (00:21:40): in all of the situations with these men, (00:21:43): a great time of mission and purpose. (00:21:47): Perhaps God may do the same thing in our lives. (00:21:52): What can he teach us through our loneliness? (00:21:56): Who is in our circle of influence that might be experiencing that loneliness? (00:22:00): And how can we come alongside them? (00:22:03): And as mentioned in our last episode, are we filling up on the Holy Spirit? (00:22:10): Is our sponge so full with the living water of the Holy Spirit that when life (00:22:17): squeezes us, (00:22:18): we're pouring out His love, (00:22:21): His grace, (00:22:22): His mercy? (00:22:24): Can we remove our eyes from our own pain to see something greater that God might have for us? (00:22:34): If you're looking for a great read or resource, (00:22:38): I'd like to recommend The New Loneliness, (00:22:42): Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated by Cindy McMenamin. (00:22:49): She talks about reconnecting with God, (00:22:51): reconnecting with your heart, (00:22:53): and reconnecting with others. (00:22:56): She addresses suffering, (00:22:57): comparison, (00:22:58): busyness, (00:22:59): mistrust, (00:23:00): hashtag me first, (00:23:03): screens, (00:23:04): and independence, (00:23:06): as well as several other topics. (00:23:08): There are areas for reflection and intentionality and journaling as well. (00:23:14): I can't recommend this resource enough. (00:23:17): And if you really love the science side of loneliness, (00:23:22): you might want to pick up a copy of Project Unlonely by Jeremy Noble. (00:23:28): It is a secular book, (00:23:31): but it's filled with wonderful information about projects that have helped people (00:23:37): heal from loneliness. (00:23:39): And you might even discover some inspiration for how you might impact your community. (00:23:48): As we finish up today, I would love to pray for you. (00:23:54): Lord, thank you for showing us your compassion, care, and mercy throughout Scripture. (00:24:00): Like Elijah, (00:24:00): we sometimes grow discouraged in our situations and sometimes feel like we're (00:24:05): wandering through a wasteland, (00:24:06): bereft of anything to sustain us or anyone to witness our pain. (00:24:13): But you, Father, will sustain us. (00:24:16): You are a witness to our struggles. (00:24:19): And you call us higher to a spiritual mountain, a place of abiding beneath your wings. (00:24:27): Help us surrender our circumstances to you, Abba. (00:24:30): We give the loneliness of suffering, loss, illness, or difference to you. (00:24:36): Give us the eyes of Elijah to help us see you warring on our behalf. (00:24:41): Gird us up that we might stand against the lies of the enemy and help us move ahead (00:24:48): as we seek to minister to others who are walking through a similar valley. (00:24:54): Thank you for your extravagant love and for your faithful presence. (00:25:00): In Jesus' precious and powerful name, Amen. (00:25:31): Thank you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe