Loneliness Like Elijah's

(00:00:45):Do you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or everyday struggles?(00:00:49):Join mental health coach,(00:00:50):inner healing prayer warrior,(00:00:52):author,(00:00:53):and trauma survivor,(00:00:54):Tammy Kennington,(00:00:55):on From Hardship to Hope,(00:00:57):the podcast for Christian women navigating motherhood,(00:00:59):mental health,(00:01:00):or matters of faith.(00:01:02):If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.(00:01:08):Welcome.(00:01:09):I'm your host, Tammy Kennington.(00:01:11):Today, we're discussing loneliness.(00:01:14):within the framework of Scripture.(00:01:17):We'll delve into the life of Elijah and consider some takeaways,(00:01:21):and at the end of the episode,(00:01:24):discuss specific ways to grow through and beyond loneliness.(00:01:29):So let's get started.(00:01:33):The article read,(00:01:35):Lonely old man in his 80s,(00:01:37):strong-bodied,(00:01:38):can shop,(00:01:38):cook,(00:01:39):and take care of himself.(00:01:41):No chronic illness.(00:01:43):I retired from a scientific research institute with a monthly pension of $946 a month.(00:01:50):My hope is that a kind-hearted person or family will adopt me,(00:01:53):nourish me through old age,(00:01:55):and bury my body when I'm dead.(00:01:58):This is taken from a 2021 news article written by a man named Han in China.(00:02:06):I often wonder about Han.(00:02:09):Did someone usher him into their family?(00:02:12):Did a Christian community invite him to church?(00:02:16):Did they meet his need for friendship, for companionship, for protection?(00:02:24):The book Project Unlonely by Dr. Jeremy Noble exposes what he terms the loneliness crisis.(00:02:31):And he notes that trauma,(00:02:33):aging,(00:02:34):illness,(00:02:34):and differences all contribute to loneliness,(00:02:39):one of the world's gravest social issues.(00:02:43):Yet we know from Scripture the story of loneliness is as old as time.(00:02:48):In Genesis 2 we read, Soon after Adam was created,(00:02:54):that God said it is not good for man to be alone.(00:02:57):We were made to commune with God and one another.(00:03:03):But after the fall, that need for companionship became altered.(00:03:11):Men no longer walked with God in the garden.(00:03:14):There was a gap in that relationship.(00:03:18):And the relationship between men and women was altered.(00:03:22):And we see that all throughout Adam's family with his sons having such struggle(00:03:30):that one rose up and killed the other.(00:03:34):That discomfort that loneliness brings with it reminds us of the importance of relationship.(00:03:42):Many people from Scripture also experience that same struggle,(00:03:46):and we can learn a lot from what the Bible records about them.(00:03:49):So today we're going to talk about one of the greatest prophets in the Old Testament, Elijah.(00:03:57):He was a powerful, influential man at the time.(00:04:00):He reprimanded King Ahab, who had let all of the northern kingdom of Israel into idolatry.(00:04:06):Elijah called fire down from heaven on Mount Carmel, yet he experienced acute loneliness.(00:04:14):In 1 Kings,(00:04:15):we discover that he was fearing for his life after revealing to Ahab that there(00:04:20):would be a famine in the land that would only end at his command.(00:04:26):The prophet, led by God, hid by the brook Cherith.(00:04:32):And out of curiosity, I looked up the meaning of that Hebrew word.(00:04:37):I discovered it means community of misfits and off the mainstream.(00:04:44):It intrigues me that God sent his faithful follower to a creek that reflected Elijah's light(00:04:52):Elijah didn't align with society's values.(00:04:55):In fact, he opposed the idolatry of those in the mainstream.(00:05:00):And I wonder how many of us feel like we've camped by the brook designated for(00:05:04):those swimming upstream.(00:05:06):Maybe you feel that way.(00:05:09):Maybe your family sees you as the Bible thumper.(00:05:14):Maybe you're the only Christian in your family.(00:05:17):Maybe you struggle to connect with co-workers because instead of using Jesus as a(00:05:24):curse word,(00:05:25):it's said in prayer.(00:05:28):Maybe you feel abandoned by a loved one.(00:05:35):Maybe you are lonely for a prodigal in your life.(00:05:42):A well-known author,(00:05:43):Lisa Turkhurst,(00:05:45):once wrote on Proverbs 31 about attending an event and how she felt so rejected and overlooked.(00:05:56):She says,(00:05:57):I couldn't wait to be with these people,(00:05:59):and I couldn't wait for the deep friendships that would surely bloom as a result of(00:06:03):our time together.(00:06:04):Walking into the meeting room, I quickly located the table of the people I was excited to meet.(00:06:10):Every seat had a name tag attached, so I circled the table looking for mine.(00:06:15):As I got to the last chair and realized my name wasn't there, my heart sank.(00:06:20):Finally, at a table on the opposite side of the room, I found my name.(00:06:24):The Lord must have a special plan for me to meet and connect with the others(00:06:28):assigned to my table,(00:06:29):I thought.(00:06:30):Taking my seat, I pulled out my cell phone and waited nervously for my table mates.(00:06:35):I waited and waited and waited.(00:06:39):As the prayer for the meal concluded and the event got underway,(00:06:42):it became painfully apparent to me that the others assigned to my table weren't(00:06:47):able to come for some reason.(00:06:49):So I'd be seated alone.(00:06:52):Very alone.(00:06:53):In my head, I started to have a little pity conversation.(00:06:57):Well, self, would you like a roll or ten perhaps?(00:07:00):And that's when a very clear sentence popped into my head.(00:07:04):You aren't set aside, Lisa.(00:07:05):You are set apart.(00:07:08):It wasn't audible and it wasn't my own thought.(00:07:11):I knew it was a thought assigned by God that I needed to ponder.(00:07:15):To be set aside is to be rejected.(00:07:18):That's exactly what the enemy wanted me to feel.(00:07:21):If he could get me to feel this,(00:07:23):then I'd become completely self-absorbed in my own insecurity and miss whatever(00:07:29):reason God had for me to be at this event.(00:07:32):When loneliness sets in, I wonder, are those enemy's arrows finding their mark?(00:07:42):Let's deny the enemy the victory over our minds.(00:07:46):Scripture actually calls us to be holy, which literally means set apart.(00:07:53):We are to be the Elijahs of our day.(00:07:59):Elijah's story does not end at the creek side.(00:08:03):Instead, the drought that he had announced to King Ahab affected him.(00:08:09):The brook dried up and his provision as well.(00:08:14):But God had a solution.(00:08:16):He sent the prophet four hours away to Phoenicia.(00:08:23):There was a widow there, and Elijah met her and said, please give me some bread and some water.(00:08:29):And she proceeded to tell him,(00:08:32):look,(00:08:32):I'm just out here gathering sticks to make a little fire and to use the last of my(00:08:36):flour and oil to make a final bit of bread for my son and me,(00:08:45):and then we know we'll die.(00:08:49):God sent Elijah to an unbelieving woman who called God your God.(00:08:57):And in her kindness,(00:09:02):she listened to Elijah,(00:09:04):made him the bread,(00:09:06):and invited the man God loved into her home.(00:09:12):And not only did God continue to give them flour and oil to sustain them throughout(00:09:19):the entirety of the famine and the drought,(00:09:24):but when that woman's son died,(00:09:27):Elijah raised him back from the dead,(00:09:31):and she recognized God as her own.(00:09:35):So God extended mercy not just to Elijah—(00:09:38):but also to the woman and her son.(00:09:42):It's such a beautiful story of God's mercy and compassion and provision.(00:09:49):After three years, the Lord called Elijah back to Israel to confront Ahab.(00:10:02):And while he was there, he met the priests of Baal on Mount Carmel.(00:10:08):There were 450 of them,(00:10:12):all calling out to their God,(00:10:15):Baal,(00:10:16):all calling out for him to answer their prayers.(00:10:20):Meanwhile, Elijah said, whoever has a God that answers, he is the true and living God.(00:10:28):When the prophets of Baal finally gave up, they had gashed themselves.(00:10:34):They had called out for hours until their voices were hoarse.(00:10:38):And Elijah said, pour water on this altar.(00:10:42):And he dug a trench and gallons and gallons and gallons of water absolutely(00:10:48):drenched the wood on the altar.(00:10:51):Elijah called out to God and fire came down and consumed the altar,(00:10:58):the wood,(00:10:59):the water,(00:11:00):and the dust.(00:11:03):After that, Elijah had all of those false prophets killed.(00:11:11):Upset and angry,(00:11:13):Ahab fled home to his wife,(00:11:15):who happened to be the most dangerous enemy in the kingdom,(00:11:22):Jezebel.(00:11:24):And when she heard of Elijah's victory, she put a price on Elijah's head, and he fled in fear.(00:11:34):into the wilderness.(00:11:36):In his despair, he called out, I have had enough.(00:11:42):I wonder if you're in that same place today,(00:11:45):if you've been in that place before,(00:11:48):if you've been alone in the wilderness or even there now shouting the words,(00:11:52):I've had enough.(00:11:58):God did not condemn Elijah,(00:12:02):despite his skewed perception of circumstances,(00:12:05):because truly,(00:12:06):loneliness can lead to his skewed perception of our situation.(00:12:11):Like Elijah, we might call out, I alone am left.(00:12:16):Nobody understands me.(00:12:18):Nobody understands my situation.(00:12:21):Nobody gets my pain.(00:12:23):Nobody understands my grief.(00:12:25):Nobody understands what it is to grapple with this illness.(00:12:29):There's no one else who gets trauma like this.(00:12:34):Elijah was in that place.(00:12:38):But Obadiah,(00:12:40):a servant over Ahab's household,(00:12:43):had hidden and provided for 100 prophets who loved the Lord.(00:12:47):Elijah wasn't alone.(00:12:49):But he was so consumed by self and situation,(00:12:52):he couldn't remove his gaze from the pain to the power of God.(00:13:02):One of my favorite psalms, Psalm 121,(00:13:07):encourages us to take a different approach it says i lift up my eyes to the hills(00:13:13):from whence comes my help my help comes from the lord who made the heavens and the(00:13:19):earth when we can remove our eyes from our own pain and look toward heaven and(00:13:29):heaven's purpose(00:13:32):Our circumstance itself may remain the same, but we can be transformed.(00:13:38):Let's take a closer look at God's response to Elijah's loneliness.(00:13:43):We've seen how Elijah responded to his loneliness,(00:13:47):but let's take a look to see how God responded to him.When Elijah said, I've had enough, I can't take anymore, God did not condemn him.(00:14:01):His scripture reveals that God sent an angel instead to refresh his exhausted follower.(00:14:08):He provided him with heaven-sent bread and a jug of fresh water.(00:14:14):Afterward,(00:14:15):Elijah launched on a 40-day journey until he arrived on Mount Horeb,(00:14:21):the same mountain that Moses hiked up to receive the commandments,(00:14:27):the same mountain Moses hiked where he saw the burning bush.(00:14:33):God heard the prophet's lament,(00:14:35):not once,(00:14:36):but twice,(00:14:37):when Elijah said,(00:14:38):I've been very zealous for the Lord,(00:14:41):and I alone am left.(00:14:45):Maybe you have been zealous for the Lord too.(00:14:49):You've done all the right things.(00:14:51):I thought that if I did all the right things in my life,(00:14:55):if I followed God,(00:14:57):if I raised my children in a home with a Christian husband and we directed them(00:15:02):toward the face of God,(00:15:04):then A plus B would equal C.(00:15:06):Things would fall into place.(00:15:08):But life isn't like that.(00:15:10):We do have an enemy.(00:15:12):And the world is fallen.(00:15:15):But what I love is that God reveals him in the most unexpected way.(00:15:21):And he can do this for Elijah.(00:15:23):He can do this for us.(00:15:27):1 Kings 19 reads, He came there to a cave and lodged there.(00:15:41):And behold, the word of God came to him and he said, What are you doing, Elijah?(00:15:47):And he said,(00:15:47):I've been very zealous for Yahweh,(00:15:48):the God of hosts,(00:15:50):for the sons of Israel have forsaken your covenant,(00:15:53):pulled down your altars,(00:15:54):and killed your prophets with the sword,(00:15:55):and I alone am left.(00:15:58):So God said, Go forth, stand on the mountain.(00:16:01):And behold,(00:16:02):Yahweh was passing by,(00:16:04):and a great and strong wind was tearing up the mountains and breaking in pieces the(00:16:08):rocks before Yahweh.(00:16:10):But Yahweh was not in the wind.(00:16:12):And after the wind, an earthquake, but Yahweh was not in the earthquake.(00:16:17):Then after the earthquake, a fire, but Yahweh was not in the fire.(00:16:21):And after the fire, a sound of a thin, gentle whisper.(00:16:27):Now that it happened that when Elijah heard it,(00:16:29):he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave.(00:16:35):And behold, a voice came to him and said, What are you doing here, Elijah?(00:16:40):God's gentle whisper.(00:16:44):Elijah suffered through the famine.(00:16:47):He dealt with persecution.(00:16:48):He managed isolation.(00:16:51):But he also encountered the Lord.(00:16:54):God sustained him.(00:16:57):He was promised community and he was commissioned for a new thing.(00:17:05):To anoint a prophet and a new king.(00:17:10):That gentle whisper of God is for us too.(00:17:14):We can hear his gentle whisper in the Holy Spirit when we meet with him,(00:17:18):when we abide in him,(00:17:20):when we climb that spiritual mountain and we say,(00:17:24):God,(00:17:24):I can't do this on my own,(00:17:26):but you can.(00:17:29):So just as God met Elijah in his loneliness, he will meet us in ours.(00:17:39):We know.(00:17:40):That when Elijah was alone, God did something interesting.(00:17:44):He at first addressed Elijah's physical needs.(00:17:47):He provided nourishment.(00:17:50):He provided water and food and rest.(00:17:55):And then he offered him comfort and guidance.(00:17:59):God is our provider.(00:18:01):The Lord's Prayer tells us, Give us this day our daily bread.(00:18:06):But He's also the God who is our spiritual river.(00:18:11):He will fill us to overflowing with the Holy Spirit.(00:18:14):And that Holy Spirit is the same one who is our comfort and our guide.(00:18:21):He's our advocate.(00:18:24):We are not left alone.(00:18:29):And now let's explore a little bit more about how God's presence in the stillness(00:18:33):and solitude transformed Elijah.(00:18:39):From the point at which Elijah met the Lord on Mount Horeb, he gained spiritual strength.(00:18:47):He put on that spiritual mantle.(00:18:52):And God led him back to Israel where he declared God's power.(00:18:59):He anointed a new king and a new prophet who took on Elijah's mantle.(00:19:06):He fulfilled his mission.(00:19:11):The reality is that loneliness is not uncommon, Christian or not.(00:19:16):We all face an internal battle in times of isolation.(00:19:20):We can face feelings of unfruitfulness, of unproductivity.(00:19:25):Sometimes our thoughts gain the upper hand and lead us to a private wilderness of(00:19:29):pain and isolation.(00:19:34):How are we to cope when that happens?(00:19:38):First, we need to recognize that as God assured Elijah he was not alone,(00:19:44):and reminded him of the 7,000 other prophets in Israel who had not bowed to Baal,(00:19:52):that there is a modern-day church filled with believers walking through their own(00:19:57):and even similar valleys.(00:20:02):72% of women say they sometimes feel lonely.(00:20:05):They are in our churches.(00:20:07):They're sitting next to us or behind us in the church pew.(00:20:12):They're in us in our play groups.(00:20:15):They're by our side in Bible studies.(00:20:18):They're sitting with us on that commute to work.(00:20:23):They are in the lounge space.(00:20:27):at work,(00:20:28):next to us,(00:20:30):when we're in the grocery store,(00:20:33):wherever it might be,(00:20:34):there is another person who feels that loneliness.(00:20:41):So we too,(00:20:42):as the body of Christ,(00:20:44):can minister to those walking through a season that we understand.(00:20:52):And in those wilderness times,(00:20:56):We know that our solitude is not wasted.(00:20:59):For Elijah, it was a time of renewal and clarity, a recommissioning for new work.(00:21:06):What is that new thing he might be doing in your life?(00:21:11):These moments of loneliness can be opportunities of growth for us.(00:21:15):They can be opportunities even for preparation or deeper intimacy with God.(00:21:20):In fact, 40 days of fasting and prayer are shown throughout Scripture.(00:21:28):Moses was on the mountain for 40 days, fasting and in prayer.(00:21:33):Jesus went through the wilderness for 40 days.(00:21:37):But after testing,(00:21:39):there was,(00:21:40):in all of the situations with these men,(00:21:43):a great time of mission and purpose.(00:21:47):Perhaps God may do the same thing in our lives.(00:21:52):What can he teach us through our loneliness?(00:21:56):Who is in our circle of influence that might be experiencing that loneliness?(00:22:00):And how can we come alongside them?(00:22:03):And as mentioned in our last episode, are we filling up on the Holy Spirit?(00:22:10):Is our sponge so full with the living water of the Holy Spirit that when life(00:22:17):squeezes us,(00:22:18):we're pouring out His love,(00:22:21):His grace,(00:22:22):His mercy?(00:22:24):Can we remove our eyes from our own pain to see something greater that God might have for us?(00:22:34):If you're looking for a great read or resource,(00:22:38):I'd like to recommend The New Loneliness,(00:22:42):Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated by Cindy McMenamin.(00:22:49):She talks about reconnecting with God,(00:22:51):reconnecting with your heart,(00:22:53):and reconnecting with others.(00:22:56):She addresses suffering,(00:22:57):comparison,(00:22:58):busyness,(00:22:59):mistrust,(00:23:00):hashtag me first,(00:23:03):screens,(00:23:04):and independence,(00:23:06):as well as several other topics.(00:23:08):There are areas for reflection and intentionality and journaling as well.(00:23:14):I can't recommend this resource enough.(00:23:17):And if you really love the science side of loneliness,(00:23:22):you might want to pick up a copy of Project Unlonely by Jeremy Noble.(00:23:28):It is a secular book,(00:23:31):but it's filled with wonderful information about projects that have helped people(00:23:37):heal from loneliness.(00:23:39):And you might even discover some inspiration for how you might impact your community.(00:23:48):As we finish up today, I would love to pray for you.(00:23:54):Lord, thank you for showing us your compassion, care, and mercy throughout Scripture.(00:24:00):Like Elijah,(00:24:00):we sometimes grow discouraged in our situations and sometimes feel like we're(00:24:05):wandering through a wasteland,(00:24:06):bereft of anything to sustain us or anyone to witness our pain.(00:24:13):But you, Father, will sustain us.(00:24:16):You are a witness to our struggles.(00:24:19):And you call us higher to a spiritual mountain, a place of abiding beneath your wings.(00:24:27):Help us surrender our circumstances to you, Abba.(00:24:30):We give the loneliness of suffering, loss, illness, or difference to you.(00:24:36):Give us the eyes of Elijah to help us see you warring on our behalf.(00:24:41):Gird us up that we might stand against the lies of the enemy and help us move ahead(00:24:48):as we seek to minister to others who are walking through a similar valley.(00:24:54):Thank you for your extravagant love and for your faithful presence.(00:25:00):In Jesus' precious and powerful name, Amen.(00:25:31):Thank you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe