Looking at ancient barnacles

I think one of the signs that the self is absent. traumatized self is one can see beauty and is in a bit. So I was feeling some pain in my body. And I decided to go out for a walk. And then I looked down from the cliff and the water It looks so magical I just want to get in. It's pretty cold though. And I feel like I could just stay here all day and watch the water flow. So changing and new. And then I was watching these barnacles, I've never seen the big barnacles that have these big things to canal, they look really ancient. They're combing the sea. So I took some video of this beautiful spot. Maybe I will try and get in the ocean. One day when it's not windy. Maybe the cold will be good for my body. Try that. I'm laying kind of upside down on a rock. Waters back there. Beauty is immense. And we're all friends. I wrote down something before I went out for a walk I wrote down that the answer isn't in detaching from those one is attached to. But in loving everyone. As much as one word if one did unconditionally love those one was attached to through life circumstances. I don't know if that's true. There are no words. Why is it that sometimes one could watch the ocean for hours with not a single thought. And then other times, one cannot stand another single second of this existence. Because of the pain of itself. of continuance of traumaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/bipolar_inquiry. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.