Looking good vs. being good: Why needing to appear kind causes harm || accountability, self-Image, people-pleasing

Some people seem kind, caring, and thoughtful...but are they truly good, or just trying to look good? In Episode 16 ofThings We Say In Therapy, we dive into the difference between authentic goodness and performing kindness for appearances.Learn about psychological concepts like moral licensing, cognitive dissonance, and shame avoidance, and discover how these behaviors show up in everyday life and relationships. I'll share some personal experiences, practical advice, and self-reflective questions to help you spot patterns in yourself and others, and move toward authentic growth and integrity.Other key concepts you'll learn in this episode:Why some people become defensive and blame-shift when they’re held accountable, and what that reveals psychologicallyHow moral licensing allows people to justify harmful behaviour while still seeing themselves as “good”How focusing on image can damage relationshipsSigns that someone prioritises reputation over emotional repairHow to reflect on your own patterns without self-shamingPractical ways to move from image-management to integrity and emotional maturityTell us why you love the show!Support the show🎙️NEW EPISODES EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY!! Follow so that you don’t miss an episode! I📖f you are struggling with your health, please don't go through it alone. View this: international mental health helpline directory 🌳Linktree: https://linktr.ee/thingswesayintherapy 📺YouTube: https://youtube.com/@feelingsidrathernotpodcast?si=Hswo7kvUoq7mchhz 📲Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feelingsidrathernotpodcast/ 📲TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@feelingsidrathernotpod?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc 👩‍💻RSS Feed (Buzzsprout Website): https://feelingsidrathernot.buzzsprout.com ☕️Buy Me a Coffee: https://www.https://buymeacoffee.com/feelingsidrathernotpod