Lose the Bucket List, America. It's Time For the "F*ck It" List.

(Obviously, this piece is NSFW, or for sensitive ears.)Many people have a bucket list of some kind: a collection of goals and tasks they’d like to eventually cross off before their time here is finished.In a perfect world, that would all be well and good, but not only is the world we’re in a few million miles from perfect, it is currently rocketing right past imperfect, careening by alarming, and making a beeline for dystopian. Maybe you’ve noticed.People are being snatched off our streets for the color of their skin, they’re being deported to foreign countries for their political opinions, and they’re being jailed without due process.Our Military is now occupying several American cities, our rights of expression, assembly, and peaceful protest are vanishing, and our Constitution and our courts are being blatantly disregarded by this Administration.Our Government is employing Gestapo-esque gangs of masked thugs to intimidate and assault our citizenry and to squash lawful resistance.And our current President is actively seeking a third term by gerrymandering American voters out of their voices and waging open war on our electoral processWhatever norms you imagined existing a few months ago are largely gone or are severely endangered. Trusting that things will work out here, simply because they always tended to before, is a fool’s errand.All that to say, it’s time to give up the myth of normal, to ditch the bucket list, and adopt something more suited to the gravity of the moment: the F*ck It List:If you’ve been worried about how to stay in relationships with people who support a wannabe dictator, it’s time to say “f*ck it” and let them go.Many of us have now spent a full decade of our finite lives trying to understand and coexist with friends and family members who’ve now tripled down on one of the most vile, amoral, and repugnant people on the planet. At some point, we need to come to terms with the reality that Trump is not fooling them or manipulating them; he is representing them. Eventually, the time we’re putting in attempting to appeal to the compassion of people whose reserves are empty is time we’re squandering.Cut ties with people you are morally incompatible with.If you’ve been concerned about sharing your heart on social media for fear of offending someone or creating conflict, it’s time to say “fu*ck it” and let it all out.Over the last ten years, we’ve allowed our collective morality to crater, normalizing acts of inhumanity and illegality that would have previously drawn unanimous consternation, condemnation, and ostracism. Much of that is due to the silence of good people, who’ve tried to take the high road—and in the process, have yielded the floor to people who have no interest in such decency. At some point, the needs of marginalized people need to matter more than the opposition we’ll face in advocating for them. Say what you need to say the way you need to say it, pushback and confrontation be damned.If you’ve been procrastinating away a dream trip, new business venture, or personal passion project, it’s time to say “f*ck it” and fast-track what gives you joy.Regardless of whether we like to admit it or not, our nation is in an incredibly perilous place. The elemental freedoms, economic stability, and personal autonomy we always took for granted are simply no longer givens. The sooner we admit that, the sooner we can prioritize what is merits the expenses of our time and our energy. Yes, we’d all like to the opportunity to plan what we’ll do “down the road,” but the only thing we have for certain is the ground we’re standing on presently, precarious as it feels..Do the frivolous, courageous, inspiring stuff now, because you may not have the option in the future.If you’ve edited yourself or censored yourself to keep a tenuous peace in your family, neighborhood, or social circle, it’s time to say “f*ck” it and be whoever you are.So many people have spent the last decade sacrificing their authenticity on the altar of conditional acceptance; working to earn or deserve relational proximity to someone else. Whether it’s issues of identity, expression, political beliefs, or religious convictions, it’s a complete waste of your time being anything less than the fullest, most honest expression of yourself, especially now.Stop hiding or pretending for the benefit of someone else.If you’ve tried not to speak in a way that will be offensive to other people, it’s time to say “f*ck it”—and just say “f*ck it.”People will sometimes police my language or my tone here or in person, attempting to shame me into a softened, sanitized version of my message that might be more palatable to themselves or to someone else. But here’s the thing: people are dying… right now. They are being rounded up, they’re losing their businesses, they’re being harassed by our government. They’re being bullied and beaten for their gender identity, for the color of their skin or their nation of origin. I’m not interested in some ceremonial decorum that exists to make people of privilege feel comfortable.In the name of human beings whose lives are hanging in the balance right now, it’s time to banish the veneers of quiet niceness in favor of outside voices and f-bombs.Friends, we shouldn’t kid ourselves: things are looking grim. The markers we’re hitting are historically concerning.That doesn’t mean we give up or drop out of living, but it does mean we should live the hell out of this day. We shouldn’t waste a single moment concealing our convictions, placating cruel people, performing to deserve acceptance, or softening our delivery to avoid conflict.We should chase every wild, beautiful prompt, take every opportunity to feel deeply, and pursue every plan we’d been saving for someday. Someday is here.I’m not asking you to abandon goodness but to more fully embrace it; clarify whoever and whatever you value and make sure these don’t remain your best-kept secrets.I’m imploring you to choose your hills worth dying on, to say the words you’ll regret not giving voice to, and to walk fully into whoever you are without delay.I’m inviting you to stare straight into the face of this terrifying movement of unthinkable hatred and with a courage and clarity that you may have never had before, to say… “f*ck it.”In the comments, feel free to add to this list with your own personal variations.The Beautiful Mess by John Pavlovitz is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit johnpavlovitz.substack.com/subscribe