Losing three mothers in one lifetime — Layne Beachley's drive to win

The legendary surfer has grieved the deaths of her adoptive mother, stepmother and birth mother. Only later in life did she realise her drive to win came from a place of loss, and Layne needed to look inward to find her place off the podium.Layne is a legendary surfer who is the first person ever to win six consecutive world titles.Since her childhood spent on Sydney's Northern Beaches, Layne has loved being in the water but it wasn't until later in life that she realised her relentless drive to win came from a confusion about who she belonged with on land.Part of her drive to prove her worth and her place came from her experiences of loss.When Layne was 6 years old, her adopted mother Valerie died. Then, her step-mother Christina died after a long battle with breast cancer.Twenty years after Layne reconnected with her birth mother, Maggie, she flew to America to be by Maggie's side as she took her last breaths.Losing three mothers in one lifetime caused Layne to equate motherhood with loss and abandonment. But after retiring and learning to slow down, Layne turned inward and finally found herself along the way.Content warning: this episode of Conversations contains discussion of adoption and grief.Layne's memoir Beneath the Waves was written with Michael Gordon and published in 2009 by Penguin.Her latest book, Awake Academy, was written with Tess Brouwer and is published by Penguin.This episode of Conversations was produced by Meggie Morris. Executive Producer is Nicola Harrison.It explores grief, cancer, death, dying, surfing, pro surfers, Manly, Freshwater, Hawaii, Ken Bradshaw, Kelly Slater, Molly Picklum, Stephanie Gilmore, Kirk Pengilly, love, marriage, stepmother, motherhood, menopause, slowing down, fitness later in life, introspection, awake academy, meditation, beach, ovarian cancer, brain haemorrhage, fatherhood, Tess Brouwer, elite athletes, professional athletes.To binge even more great episodes of the Conversations podcast with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.