LOVE PURGATORY

This week on My Vicious Love, we step into the in-between. The gray area. The emotional waiting room that happens after heartbreak, trauma, loss, addiction, failed relationships, family wounds, and the moments in life where you’re no longer who you were… but not quite who you’re becoming yet. This episode, Love Purgatory, features my dear friend Ryan Carrillo, someone I’ve shared over a decade of friendship, chaos, growth, healing, and life lessons with.Together, Ryan and I unpack what it means to live in emotional limbo — those moments where you’re questioning everything. Do you stay? Do you leave? Do you forgive? Do you start over? Do you keep loving people who hurt you? Do you finally choose yourself? We talk openly about trauma in relationships, trauma within our families, addiction, self-worth, survival, and the complicated process of rebuilding your life while still carrying pieces of your past.Ryan speaks candidly about his personal journey with the realities of overcoming destructive cycles, and how fatherhood completely transformed the way he views purpose, accountability, and love. We also dive into his evolution as a professional athlete and entrepreneur — from professional roller skating to building a beautiful life and business for himself out in Joshua Tree. We discuss what it really looks like to pursue growth while still navigating personal dilemmas, emotional baggage, and the pressure of adulthood.What makes this episode special is that it doesn’t pretend healing is linear. It’s honest. Sometimes hilarious. Sometimes heavy. Sometimes uncomfortable. There are moments where we laugh until we can’t breathe, and moments where we sit in truths that a lot of people are too afraid to say out loud. But underneath all of it is a conversation about resilience — about learning that the “middle ground” in life is not weakness. Sometimes it’s actually where your greatest strength is built.Love Purgatory is for anyone who feels emotionally stuck between chapters. For the people healing while still hurting. For the people trying to become softer without becoming weak. For the people learning that survival and healing are two completely different things.