Love so hard it hurts

Your generosity really makes a difference. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.My life is full of abundance right now. Love is everywhere. Just when I think my heart can’t possibly hold more love, my son spontaneously says “Mom? I love you.” This, as my newborn falls asleep on my breast and the smell of my husband cooking us a delicious dinner fills the air around us. And I think I might burst into tears. It’s partly because of the fact that I just had a baby and there is measurable abundance in my life, and you could also chalk it up to hormones, but it’s also because of how much I’ve worked to open my heart (hey—this stuff really works). Either way, it seems impossible to love this hard without it hurting.One of the biggest takeaways for me from the daylong retreat with Jan Frazier a couple of weeks ago was that pain and bliss are two sides of the same coin. This is what childbirth is, what falling in love is, what it is to be alive. You cannot know love without touching loss, without being harassed by the truth of impermanence: All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.That is one of the “five subjects for frequent recollection” in Buddhism, and I can’t seem to shake it. So I guess I’m doing a good job with that frequent recollection part. And maybe we all are, every time we love. Maybe it’s impermanence that makes love so poignant, so precious. Maybe that’s just one of the many ways that love helps us all get free from suffering.Parenting as the Path meets this TuesdaySpeaking of parenting, heads up that our Parenting as the Path class will meet this Tuesday, September 30th, from 4:30-6pm ET. While I may make an appearance, Ofosu will be taking the lead on this one. The theme will be about being a kind and compassionate witness and presence to ourselves and our children. This class is held on Zoom and registration is free. Even if you’re not a parent or caregiver, and maybe you just want to re-parent yourself, you are most welcome. If you want to make it but can’t, the great news is that we recently partnered with IMS, and the recordings of these classes are now being made available on the IMS website. You can find the link to the recordings, and the registration for the upcoming class, here: This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit caralai.substack.com/subscribe