Loving John: A Story of Caregiving, ALS, & Unconditional Love | Peter Dare

In this poignant episode of Caregiver SOS On Air, host Ron Aaron and guest co-host Tina Smith are joined by Peter Dare to discuss his deeply moving journey as a caregiver to his husband of over four decades, John Goodnett. John—an ultra-runner with an irrepressible spirit and a sharp sense of humor—was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Peter found himself in near-total isolation, navigating the physical and emotional weight of John’s declining health as his sole, round-the-clock caregiver. Their journey, captured in the documentary Loving John, is a powerful testament to commitment, resilience, and love in the face of progressive illness. Key Highlights & Topics Covered: The Path to Diagnosis: Peter shares the long, difficult process of diagnosing ALS—what he calls a "downhill glide path"—and how he and John faced the diagnosis by taking life one day at a time. Caregiving in Isolation: How the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic impacted their daily lives, turning Peter into a full-time, 24/7 caregiver while relying on creative support from friends outside their windows. The Behind-the-Scenes Story of Loving John: How a local filmmaker’s interest in an ultra-runner evolved into an inspiring documentary capturing John's life, humor, and legacy. Honoring Final Wishes: Peter reflects on bringing John’s ashes back to his home in American Samoa, where he was laid to rest next to his mother surrounded by family. Key Takeaways for Caregivers: Accept and Invite Help: Even when isolated, leaning on a support system—friends, community, or local organizations like the VA—is essential to sustaining caregiving. Maintain Perspective and Positivity: Focusing on the present day rather than worrying about an uncertain timeline can make overwhelming diagnoses more manageable. Caregiver Respite is Necessary: Taking short breaks and accepting outside care for a loved one is not a failure; it is crucial for maintaining your own mental and physical stamina. About Peter Peter Dare spent over four decades with his husband, John Godinet, an ultra-runner known for his humor and irrepressible spirit. When John was diagnosed with ALS, Peter became his caregiver, and that role expanded when the pandemic hit. Cut off from most outside help, Peter became John's sole, around-the-clock caregiver, shouldering the physical and emotional weight of ALS in near-total isolation. Their story anchors Loving John, a feature documentary. In it, Peter offers an honest, firsthand account of caring for the person he loved most. In the years A.J. (After John), he spends a few weeks of the year in American Samoa visiting John's family while also caretaking their last fur baby and John's running partner, Ginger, their 17+-year-old border collie. After Ginger passes away to go run with John and Piglet, he'll start thinking about where to go and what to do. "Lo que será, será"! To learn more about the documentary featured in this episode, look for Loving John on Google or stream it on select public broadcasting channels like WETA. Hosts Ron Aaron and Carol Zernial, and their guests talk about Caregiving and how to best cope with the stresses associated with it. Learn about "Caregiver SOS" and the "Teleconnection Hotline" programs. Caregiver SOS On Air is a presentation of the WellMed Charitable Foundation. For more resources, tips, and past episodes, visit caregiversos.org or email your questions to [email protected]. To learn more about the documentary featured in this episode, look for Loving John on Google or stream it on select public broadcasting channels like WETA.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.