Loving Yourself // It's Time to Get Over It, Part 2

Ever compared yourself to other people and come to the conclusion – you just don't stack up? We all have.  And when you're carrying that around inside – it's so hard to have strong relationships. So many diseases seem to be on the rise in our society – heart disease, cancer, diabetes, dementia. The list goes on. But deep inside many, many people is a quiet killer. An emotional disease that's robbing so many people of the life that God intended for them. Yesterday, on A Different Perspective, we began looking at the whole issue of insecurity. The symptoms are clear. People who are insecure are touchy you have to walk on eggshells. They have a deep sense of inadequacy, a string of broken relationships often. They can't give credit to other people. They can't enjoy other people's successes. It's a debilitating, lonely disease. But so many people have lived with this disease for so long, they can't see it let alone admit it. But before an alcoholic can receive help. First they have to take that big step of admitting they're an alcoholic. Turns out that the same is true in dealing with insecurity and low self-esteem. Do you know anyone with low self-esteem? Someone who's suffering from insecurity? It used to be me. I couldn't enjoy my life. I couldn't laugh at myself. I couldn't lose at a card game. I couldn't experience the rich pleasure of delighting in someone else's success. The great author and playwright Gore Vadal said, "Every time a friend of mine succeeds, a small part of me dies." Well I know exactly what he was talking about. I needed to be in the limelight. I needed to be the best. I needed to be recognised. I needed to be the centre of attention. And when I didn't get those things. When those things weren't there to feed my deep, inner emptiness and insecurity, it hurt, it really hurt. It was so real. Outwardly I was a very confident, articulate, apparently smart person. But inwardly I was like a drug addict who needed a fix. And when you're in that state, when you're a heroin addict, when you're an addict of recognition (which is what insecurity is all about) you can't collaborate. You can't love. You can't enjoy. And I thought it was only the sharpest observers who knew what was going on. But actually, I was driving people nuts. When you're insecure it's like not having enough food. If you know ten other people who need food and you don't even have enough for yourself, even though you may be good enough to share that food, they'll still all be hungry. It's not until you have enough food and you can share with them out of your abundance and your overflow that you can all have enough food to go around. And insecurity is like that. We just have to keep feeding it. It's never satisfied. It goes on and on and on and on. And because we're never satisfied, there's no overflow of our satisfaction of our joy, of our peace, of our excitement at living a great life that can bless the people that are around us. Today I don't really like the limelight. In fact radio suits me just fine because people can't see who I am. I love it when other people succeed. I'm not touchy anymore. I'm not bothered by people talking behind my back. In fact, to tell you the truth, by and large, I don't really care what people think about me. I don't mean that in an arrogant way. I don't mean it in a wrong way. When I have criticism come towards me, (which I do sometimes) I listen to it, I evaluate it, I think, 'Hmm, they've got a point. I've got to change something here.' But it doesn't worry me. It doesn't eat away at me. There is this deep, deep sense of security in my heart. And when I look in the mirror, I'm happy with who I am. With a deep contentment with my strengths and my limitations. I just don't need to impress anyone. Nothing to prove. Are there things that I'd like to improve in my life? Absolutely. So what happened? When Jesus was crucified there were two criminals crucified with him. And they were hurling insults at Jesus and taunting Him. And then one of those criminals, something got to him. He must have looked in Jesus eyes and he said, "Lord, Lord remember me." And Jesus looked at him. Remember this criminal could do nothing for Jesus. This criminal couldn't even pray a prayer. And Jesus looked at him when no-one else would have given him a prayer and said: Before the day is out you'll be with me in paradise. (Luke 23:43) Jesus accepted this nobody, who could do nothing for Him. Without an eloquent prayer. Without a life of doing good. Without any benefit that he could have given Jesus at that point in time. Jesus accepted this criminal just as he was. And when I got my mind around that story, it was as though some steel bands around my heart were burst open. I was set free. Something happens when we get our hearts around Jesus dying for us. It's so deep and profound because it is an unconditional acceptance and forgiveness. No matter what we've done. No matter who we are. And when I look in the mirror and I see some black spots and I think, "Something has to happen with that. I have to deal with that issue. That problem. That sin in my life." I can do it from a sense of, "I'm accepted by God. I don't have to scrub this sin off my skin myself. I don't have to get it out myself." The reason I see it so clearly is because I'm safe and secure in a relationship with Jesus. And this Jesus who sends His Holy Spirit to live in anyone who'll accept Him, who'll believe in Him, who'll put their trust in Him. Jesus is the guy that points this stuff out to me. He's the one that helps me to deal with it and scrubs me clean. We are adopted as children into His family when we believe in Him. We become co-heirs with Jesus Himself. And when that sunk in I realised something. If God accepts me as I am maybe it's time for me to accept me as I am. In one sense, when we realise that, there's an instant release. And in another, as we live in it, day after day, week after week, we live in that love and acceptance. Over months and years, it changes us. All that time in my life I tried every self-improvement program and I never succeeded because any self-improvement program can never really deal with that sense of insecurity. It was Jesus. His acceptance and His love that set me free from the insecurity of my limitations. Free to let Him change me by His love. That's what happened and it's still happening, on and on and on and on. It's a deep work. It's a work that God sticks with. When He begins something good in us He sees it through. He never leaves us half way along. He never pulls back and says, "You are just hopeless. I've had enough of you. I can't help you anymore." No, no. Not when He sent His Son. This Jesus who created all that there is – the whole universe. He's the King of kings. He's the Lord of lords. He became a man. To His friends He became a guy. Someone wrote in recently after a program where I referred to Jesus as a guy and said, "You can't refer to Jesus like that. He's the King of kings and the Lord of lords." He is. But He was also a man. He was also a mate – a friend to those 12 disciples who travelled around with Him. He was human. He cried for people. He laughed. He loved. He made wine at the wedding. He healed. He gave people security when no one else would. Maybe it's time for you today. To admit that there is a deep insecurity that we can't do anything about on our own. And accept the solution. The solution of a deep love. And to live in that love and let Him change us. If God is God, He made us the way we are. And He's come to set us free. Love your neighbour as yourself. (Mark 12:31) That love that Jesus was talking about there was unconditional love. What do you think?