Lower Decks, Episode 1 "Second Contact" and Episode 2 "Envoys" with Dave H

In this episode, Dave H returns to discuss the first two episodes of Lower Decks, "Second Contact" and "Envoys". Hilarity ensues.   Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!  https://discord.gg/vtJnpkhd   Favorite References Jeff: when she asks if he knows Kirk, Sulu, etc Dave: the bucket of contraband Plugs   Jeff's podcasts   Shattered Worlds RPG Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ? Omniversal Escapades (Jeff's livestreaming RPG show) Music James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024 Here's James website for all his activities:  jameslark.co.uk   Possible show notes   Protect This Slime   Recommendations Monk and Robot Wayfarers Ducktales (2017) Social Media   Jeff Richardson   @eljefetacoma on Facebook, Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon   Dave is on Discord: The USS Hood @cthulhucalamari Links TOS episode "Miri" Star Trek: The Motion Picture Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock Star Trek 4: The One With the Whales The Greatest Generation Star Trek: The Next Generation Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Buffalo jeans Star Trek: Prodigy Star Trek: Discovery Star Trek: Picard Star Trek: Strange New Worlds Saved! Star Trek: The Animated Series "The Naked Now" the TNG episode where Riker is in a holocave with a kid who says he's his dad Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country General Order 5? 12 hours of warp core The Monkees "I'm a Believer" South Park zombies the guy who did choreo for The Matrix (Yuen Woo-ping) Phil Lamar MadTV Futurama Pulp Fiction Lower Decks: Warp Your Own Way Spock clock Maid Marian from Disney's Robin Hood Noel Wells "The Game" TNG Starfleet dress uniform Gene Roddenberry Khan's "Moons of Nibia" speech TNG episode where Jake takes a shuttle Ford Windstar The Janeway Protocol Anbo-jyutsu American Gladiators Morn Kirk hands "A Fistful of Datas" Graham Greene Yamok sauce episode Soundbite: Ransom shouts "did I eat flesh? how much did I eat?"  Mariner:  "We're gonna get your butt in a captain's chair!" 1:04:38 1:21:25 Mariner: "Up and down with the blast shield!" Show Pic: Boimler saying "Female outside feces feces" 1:36:25 Shapeshifter child: "I'm a little boy!"  Show Pic: "He likes jamaharon!" 18:24 Boimler: "I should just study bugs on a far off planet!" Show Pic: Boimler with his pants down Episode 1 "Second Contact"   space station and ships pan into view a male voice gives a captains log the Cerritos looks cool as hell douglas station cool layers, plenty of depth great depth of field, fuzzy people in bg and fg "our specialty is second contact" black lady opens the door and clowns on purple haired guy for doing a captains log in a closet shes drunk, busting on him for being a nerd romulan whiskey is blue phg says its against regulation, black lady doesnt care she starts swinging a batleth, cant remember what its called "i got it from an old guy with an eyepatch" could it be Martok? surely shed recognize him since hes the chancellor "worf worf worf i love honor! i demand honor!" she hacks his thigh, they both scream credits beautiful scenery rocks hit ship (shouldnt the deflector block those) the ship sees borgs fighting roms and dips out its got a space whale! looks so good! shuttle lands theres a geordi visor! an Orion officer Ensign dvana tendi shes jacked blonde guy tells her to keep moving phg, boimler, is only getting bananas shes science, boims and mariner are command "i love science. Uh, its so sciency" is boimler horny for Tendi? Beckett Mariner "i cant believe were gonna serve side by side, scientists and commanders, an elite team" shes clearly very into drama tendi def wants to be CMO Mariner does not want to be senior (odd then that shes in the command track) she was promoted, then thought for herself so got demoted Mariner doesnt like giving the tour but she does need help with contraband Boims is not amused Boimler points out places on the map Mariner clearly has heard Boimlers jokes and is bored with it Boims thinks bridge is cool Mariner does not Rutherford the engineer has a vulcan implant thats goofing up Ruthy has a date with ensign barnes M says shes crazy hot ruthys implant keeps suppressing his emotions Ruthy is naturally anxious, pukes when stressed? Mariner pretends not to know what rooms are, Boims calls her out M "And this is Boims's hidey closet where he pretends to be a captain like a big boy." B "this is not a good tour!" they sleep in a hallway sleep near a shower Tendi is loving being on a ship seeing the warp trails its holodeck time! (i am skeptical that an ensign wouldnt have used a holodeck before. im sure they use them to do the kobayashi maru) Boims is crazy for warp core M does not care Tendi doesnt know about sand? nonsense also surely Orions have holodecks at least to practice their piracy Tendis impressed that B gets to go to the bridge M downplays it all nude olympic training facility M should be reported to hr for this one Galardonian shuttles are badass Gs themselves are little purple seahorse pigs, some with horns Ransom, buff white dude, gets bit by insect R and mustache man are real bros Boims tries to manage hair unsuccessfully he enters the bridge in severe anxiety Black woman captain gives Boims a special assignment keep an eye on ensign mariner "i like my crew working in lockstep" Barnes and Ruthy's date apparently Billups doesnt know how to talk to women (with future knowledge we have an idea why) Rs implant makes him harshly vulcan for a sec her dad was a cyborg "Shaxs drop his latte again? Guy's got baby hands" would be funnier if wed gotten his name yet, clearly a second watch joke B is clearly feeling bad and suss he sees Mariner run off and get in a truck he follows Ransom goes nuts zombie virus, spewing black goo and chewing on a guys neck B and R still do date even during this madness disease is either airborne or transferred by goo cat doctor T "i was supposed to be assisting Nurse Westlake" cat points at guy on bed snarling "that is nurse westlake!" B is behind a bush, peeking he sees Mariner offering starfleet tech to two Galardonians the planet is so beautiful, yellow sky, reddish brown leaves, pea soup green dirt, fungus balls and tall grass B jumps out and scares Mariner he accuses her of selling weapons, she tries to shut him down Gs try to leave, B shoots the ground B reads the rulebook she busts back with more knowledge its farm equipment hes surprised Gs run through gate, leave it open huge spider breaks out giant spider is shooting butt webbing M and B behind bush M defends herself, saying the farmers were starving so she gave some help he asks how she knew they exist she was here last year on the quito before she got demoted to the cerritos B didnt know her backstory she was trapped in a sentient cave "thats a dark place that knows things" head taken off by a singing crystal klingon prison where she had to fight a yeti for her own shoes for no reason.  "he was just being a dick!" hes only been to five planets including earth and vulcan he only knows what in the manuals so he should follow her lead they cant leave because the farmers need the spider general order 5 "We'll just stun it." "No could spoil the milk." B dismisses this, but as i thought about it i realized she saw only one get out which suggests the animal isnt for meat but for some other purpose, its a short leap to milk "Five ships, yeti shoes, i am always right, take them off now!" two puppets of them for spider to attack its going to town on Bs uniform M is stoked shes ready to jump on its back he wants it to destroy both uniforms first why did she yell Mark before jumping? she jumps, then B he gets nabbed by spider which starts gooping and sucking him he says phaser it farmers begs her not to M says we cant let it eat him farmer says its just suckling for moisture M yells to Boimler  "its just suckling you, youre fine" Boimler has funny scream. M tries to encourage him "go to your happy place! oo think about the warp core!" B and M spacewalk to get to the rally point it looks totally awesome their suits are low on oxygen? they should be rated for 24 hours or more if show canon is to be believed. how long were Belanna and Tom out there? she likes The Monkees, Ruthy is into it "Lets just say I'm a Believer" Great shot thru window of Shaxs wasting fools as they ascend B and R are wicked at action stuff weirdly a hatch wont open for them i like how he thumbs up for her to move through maintenance hatch then jumps in after, good teamwork during retreat they take off helmets and kiss shes like hows it goin and hes like these doors are messed up she is not into boring details and walks off Tendi in sickybay "pump this, dont pass out. nobodys authorized to pass out" M havin some wilk while B gets milked she pulls him out of sleepy spider "my bones..." "but im naked" they drive back thru idyllic landscape with lovely tune "i think we make a pretty good team, Boimler" he admits he was told to spy on her she doesnt get why he worships them he starts to defend captain but stops hes going to report her they get to rally point and beam to ship everyone is in transporter room DR taana swipes bs face and analyEs spider milk dr t says they should get B to sickbak "what makes him so special? nothing. its the slime, Captain" "everyone, protect. this. slime!" Shaxs bursts through door, carrying B crew makes it to sickbay milk will neutralize rage effect T says Cap doesnt have nuch time. M yells "oo shouldve washed those hands, captain!" Ransom is cured "where am i? did i eat flesh?" "hardly any" "how much did i eat?!" T sprays purple gas through ship captain congratulates Dr t she makes a bad joke, senior staff laugh M tries to explain that B saved them Tendi stoked cuz she got to hold a heart cap says in report that only dr t saved everyone she asks B what mariner did he says she was fine "maybe that goo that saved the ship messed with my memory" even now hes trying to correct the record admiral so and so calls her "ransom tried to eat a guy. we're fine" she wants to throw Mariner in the brig she loves the brig T asks R about his date he praises her but hes not seeing her again she had zero interest in why a red alert messed with the hatch lock "who has time for romance when theres a level two diagnostic just sitting there waiting to be run?" "mm mm dont have to tell me twice i am right there" B praises M "starfleet is better with you in it" B didnt sell her out she praises him "were gonna get your butt in a captains chair. guess what mm im your new mentor. boom. surprise bitchh its done how does it feel?" lower decks cheer "youre gonna be my chadeetch from now on baby" she mentions spocks rebirth in star trek 3 mentions khan and space whales how bout sulu do yiu know kirk my man  worf gary mitchell, do you know deanna troi her body be bangin, she went from a jumpsuit   episode 2 "Envoys"   cerritos floats above red planet pale blue sphere enters the hull imto a storage room M suggests drinkin and gettin a dude all worked up Tendi doesnt get it energy sphere appears "supplicate yourselves!" Mariner grabs it and tells Tendi to bring a canister "we can use this thing for all sorts of cool stuff" she starts to push it into a canister he says he can grant wishes Mariners listening she demands a tricorder with a purple stripe he loses a bunch of power she wants a power pack it gets even smaller Captain Freeman rolls up and it just darts into her chest shouting "die, mortal!" T and M are watching video of admiral falling B comes in with news of his mission hes talking about someone they speculate who it might be Castro, enterprise Pjoq, what a snack its Boimler! piloting general Korin decorated warrior they all have an apostrophe M thinks the cargo bay is exotic R shows up hes been in ducts for a week "thats another three, four days in the tubes!" R says he'll switch his career to change shifts B comes into the shuttle bay Mariners in the shuttle! shes already there eating ramen and spilling shes the pilot he has a dress uniform blast field down and up with songs Rutherford tells Billups hes transferring Billups is totally cool about it they chant his name on the shuttle M is passed out "buried alive marooned for eternity moons of nibia" Bs been studying Korin deference and respect M kicks his ass "Starfleet has made you soft, Mariner!" "i must update you on my many sexual contests, Mariner! What, both of them?" Korin wants to be landed in Little Kronos Bs like what? "I got chewed out, but he got his ass chewed Uuuup" why is console hot? multispecies hang spot unsecured district theyre blood bonded he passed out on his sword Korin jakes the shuttle Mariner laughs "classic Korin" "did you even read the mission brief?" "im sorry i skimmed most of it, and read some of the captions" Boimler is speed walking to conserve energy "this is serious! i think were violating the Khitomer accords" "he went north in search of stronger ales!" so were federation dogs, huh? "hey if it got us what we needed woof woof" Ransom does command trainer 43 with Rutherford captain were being drawn into a temporal rift? "casualties 105 percent wait how did i kill more than the whole crew?" Ransom mentions the Janeway protocol command trainer 4 should they hit the asteroid? Janeway protocol? "all the ships children have been ejected into space." "all those kids..." M and B talk philosophy of training Boimler meets a lady in red shes real sensual Mariner washes it off of Brad "i know you still want it! I can hear your nasty boy thoughts!" it was an anobaj weakminded? lol "An andorian in the bathroom said the generals in a bar down the road" hes relating engineering to bodies taana is supportive she orders him to chat with the guy and keep him distracted instead R makes him freak out "Those are dilithium burns? how are you still alive, man? you should be dead!" "that robot said i was dying" he joins security bunch of borgs program smorgasborg he uses his implant to be a super kickpuncher M cautions B to be chill he gets all huffy Boimler sees a man being menaced he runs in Mariner says no old guy whines other guy goes to kick him B shoots "Starfleet! I order you to step away from the elder! You idiot thats no elder!" its a weird little monster - Vendorian shapeshifter they start a barfight theres a Morn! Boimler objects "this is a violation of the Tulganan neutrality pact" Mariner jumps up "Kirk hands" has phaser she pays for five rounds "sir i dont know you, thats starfleet property youre handling" Boimler looks like shit. He feels inadequate because of Mariners awesomeness "all that studying and where did it get me?" "i should just turn in my uniform and go work on a research asteroid!" Mariner is horrified "do not even joke about that" 17:45 soundbite: Boimler does the shaky video log bit Mariner says starfleet needs booksmart people like B he flips his communicator and runs off Rutherford is in security. Shaxs is giving a speech "no greater honor than to die beside you in battle." Rutherford decides to go back to engineering. he needs those tubes "Got to be true to yourself. am i right bears? oo rah!" Rutherford "Aw, bears!" ferengi bit Mariner pretends hes a Bolean "hey ferengi, get out of here, get get!" they drag drunk Korin out of the shuttle "Fetch me my drinking horn, i need ale" Mariner pretends to have not known the ferengi thing B promises not to tell anyone smash cut to him telling everyone "Muah muah hoo mon" he was doin the hand thing and everything" Mariner pretends to be offended and jets she smiles Rutherford "i belong in the tubes" she doesnt realize he did all that to be a bro ferengi dude and Mariner chat R looks at tube "isnt it amazing?" she says looking at spce on her pad. R looks at tube. "its beautiful"