Lusty Law Enforcement And The Bureau of Horny Dating Apps

Tim kicks off the week by inventing new ways to insult fat people, getting baited into a Perez Hilton sermon update, and wading straight into a gigantic acronym nobody can say without sounding like they’re having a stroke. Then things get weirder, with Harry Dresden breaking into a house, an armed standoff interrupted by a horny cop on a dating app, and enough egg talk to make breakfast feel like a threat.Death fat becomes the phrase of the day, because apparently body-positivity can still spawn language so brutal it circles back around to funny.Mead Skelton drops a Perez Hilton update, which gives Tim another excuse to roast Perez’s teary-eyed “found God” era.Tim dismantles the monster acronym MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+, then somehow makes it even longer just to prove a point.Harry Dresden returns, complete with a creepy house break-in, a shovel-wielding homeowner, and a confused lunatic who thinks he’s a fictional wizard detective.The saga gets even better when old footage surfaces of the same guy yelling things like I am the Batman, I am the Jew, and I am the Lord at random crowds.A Riverside County deputy is caught on camera scrolling a dating app during an armed standoff, because apparently even police work now has a swipe-right problem.Tim’s answer to the whole thing is basically, if the guy in the car is going to do something stupid, the cop might as well multitask.AI Jesus gets the full treatment, because now you can apparently pay $1.99 a minute to talk to a digital savior while pretending that’s normal.Robert Faggot returns to the show with a full dissertation on his Hamilton Beach egg maker, egg baths, spoon-peeling tricks, and the emotional consequences of soggy eggs.What starts as a voicemail about breakfast appliances turns into a full-blown egg podcast, which feels exactly like the kind of thing only this show could accidentally build a fandom around.Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes, support the madness, and get more Distorted View at distortedview.com.🎧 Episode Summary🔥 Episode Highlights🗞️ Distorted News📞 Listener Interaction / Voicemails💰 Support the Show