Madonna's OPEN YOR HEART (if you can defeat her lock), sexy symbolism and mixed metaphors, Madge vs Cyndi Lauper, Star Trek, the romance of sexual harassment, chastity & explosives, witchcraft

Madonna's 5th biggest hit ... that was fished out of Cyndi Lauper's bin. Enough sexual innuendos to rival Benny Hill, Freudian sex symbols (percussion), locks and keys, pointy booby-traps, how to MAKE a man love you, explosive neck-bands, chastity heart-belts, when sexual harassment was called romance, alarm-monitoring logistics, exotic dancers kissing small boys, Mathletics and fan fiction, the loneliness of 1 although it goes into everything, extra strong insect repellent and fuel efficiency, and it's really all about puppies anyway. Would you like to appear (well, vocally) on the show? Do you have a pop song or ear-worm from the SMOOTH FM genre that’s infested your mind and needs to be investigated? Visit this page anchor.fm/peter-davis6 and press the message button to record me your own voicemail hot-take on your specific smooth song of suckiness. You could be on a future episode! (you can always email sound files or text your thoughts to [email protected] if that's easier). Cheers! Sound clips are included for educational reference, criticism, satire and parody in fair use. Clips remain the property of the respective rights holder and no endorsement is implied. All information and opinion is performed and expressed in-character and does not reflect reality or genuine commentary on any persons (living or dead), bands or other organisations, or their works, and is not recommended listening for anyone, anywhere.