Magic Island

Sam once again digs into his childhood psyche and recaps one of his core memories: the 1995 direct-to-video movie Magic Island. When angsty teen Jack (Zachery Ty Bryan of 90s fame) wants to stick it to his negligent mother, he decides to run away from home. Thankfully, the only loving adult in his life, nanny/housekeeper Lucretia, distracts him with a mysterious book that sucks him in. Literally. Now thrown together with a ragtag team of buccaneers (join us for The Things We Learn on Book Retorts (TM), where we guess wildly at what a buccaneer actually is) in search of a cursed treasure. Luckily, Jack packed a Super Soaker (also TM) in his go-bag, so he's all set to...help? Joining forces with a mermaid who gets her kicks making out with unsuspecting humans, he traverses the wilds of Magic Island as they're hunted by pirates (different than Buccaneers?) and almost tempted into the jaws of sand sharks by a pizza tree. Yes, you read that sentence right. As he makes new friends and avoids wildly unnecessary booby traps, will he learn a valuable lesson about the importance of putting up with his absent mother to keep a roof over his head? Or will he choose the mean streets of whatever suburban direct-to-video neighborhood he grew up in? Only Magic Island can give him the clarity he needs.