Making Friends: Trials, Tribulations, & Triumphs

Welcome to Wilderness Edge, a podcast for people who are curious about communities on the edge of the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness. The conversations on this podcast cultivate critical thinking about a broad range of topics relevant to our region and beyond. In this episode we discuss the trials, tribulations, and triumphs of making friends as adults – particularly as people who recently relocated to a new community. Join me, Lacey Squier, in conversation with my friends Jess Kulik, Kelsey Lee, and Lucy Soderstrom as we talk about the experiences and resources we drew upon to host an Ely Folk School class on how to make friends. Boundary Waters Connect -- Hello Neighbor The Wilderness Edge Podcast is sponsored by Boundary Waters Connect, the economic and community development program of Northeastern Minnesotans for Wilderness. We offer programs and services for new, established, seasonal, and prospective residents to the Ely area. Boundary Waters Connect – Making Friends Check out some additional resources on the topic of making friends, particularly as adults. Ely Folk School Boundary Waters Connect is proud to sponsor and frequently collaborate with the Ely Folk School, which builds community by offering learning experiences that celebrate the wilderness heritage, art, history, culture, and craft of the people of northern Minnesota. Potluck Kitchenware Potluck Kitchenware is a cooking and baking retail store, as well as the presenting sponsor of the Hello Neighbor programs and services facilitated by Boundary Waters Connect. Check out Potluck Kitchenware on the corner of Chapman Street and First Avenue in downtown Ely. Platonic: The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make – and Keep – FriendsThis book, written by Dr. Marissa G. Franco, was one of our favorite resources in the process of learning about and teaching a class on how to make friends. Chapters & Timestamps: 1:39 | Introducing our guests: Kelsey Lee, Lucy Soderstrom, and Jess Kulik.5:40 | Finding and forging bonus families.9:31 | Why host a class on how to make friends?10:08 | To profess the profound importance of unapologetic initiative.13:11 | We can't do it for you. We offer tools & empowerment to be your own agent of social connection.17:26 | We wanted to offer clarity to the process and social norms in our community.20:47 | How do we talk more openly about what's difficult about making friends?22:00 | What does your attachment style have to do with making friends?25:00 | Dread is part of the process (and transitions are hard).30:20 | It's a wonderful life -- seeing and being seen helps!31:50 | Check out The Art of the Gathering by Priya Parker.34:13 | Distinguish between your "work" self and your "personal" self.39:52 | Give yourself permission to be cared for by community.43:00 | Consider the power of propinquity & the mere exposure effect.48:23 | Develop rejection tolerance & be friends with yourself first.51:33 | You can only succeed if you define your friendship goals.52:17 | Remember: this process takes time.54:23 | Share your interests widely; our communities are full of inquisitive, eager people.55:41 | You can have anything, but you might have to make it yourself.57:34 | On the pros and cons of being known (and wearing your grimiest pajamas at the grocery store).59:30 | Mind the liking gap -- you're more well liked than you think!Send us a voice message!