Managing Expectations In Relationships

Mark introduces the topic of expectations. Setting and managing them with others We succeed and we fail doing both He says we do a poor job of being specific and clear and recalibrating as things evolve Jim says ww are "wound up" in the existing political environment. We expect the politicians to be civil and honest…and they're not. They throw rocks at each other Mark identifies that he and Jim have taken different position. Jim chooses to remain quiet and Mark chooses to speak up. He cites the difference between thinking, knowing and emoting. We are treating them as the same Jim takes us around the wheel and our 5 areas of life and how different women and men are regarding expectations Mark talks about his relationships with his grandmothers and how different they were. Then he talks about his mom and sister Then he talks about his kids Jim shares that everyone struggles with expectations. We project things from our relationships on to others. He also thinks we have set expectations about women that they can "have it all". It's not possible Mark says when you choose one thing you sacrifice another. No one can "have everything". It's an unreal expectation Mark talks about his daughters and his mom again. His mom lived with regret and his girls struggle with confusion…what is a man?  What is the expectation? He brings up JD Vance and his cat lady comment. He asks what is wrong with being a stay at home mom?  We need to change our expectations about being a mom Jim brings up Esther Perel and her writings about relationships. She says our expectations about relationships are incorrect Mark talks about having different expectations inside a marriage Jim says where we are now in marriages has evolved away from the way it used to be. Married to one person and in a romantic relationship with another. Marriage was a contract Mark says expectations change and we have to change behavior. He shares some info on his marriage/divorce. He talks about his ex wife's father and her expectations of him based on her father's behavior Mark says things broke down when communication stopped Jim asks Mark about his current relationship with his girlfriend They talk about men and women and their differences. In a relationship what matters is what those two people think about. Most people don't take the time to air out their differences before marriage and exchange/agree to the compromises