Marianne Viray: Can We Disagree Without Hating Each Other?

What happens to our mental health, relationships, workplaces, and communities when people with different beliefs stop seeing one another as people worth listening to?On this episode of Mental Health Momentum, Silicon Slopes Director of Mental Health Awareness and licensed psychologist Dr. David Morgan sits down with Marianne Viray, Executive Director of Disagree Better, to explore why healthy disagreement matters and what we can do when conflict turns into contempt.Disagree Better is a national initiative founded by Utah Governor Spencer Cox during his tenure as chair of the National Governors Association. Today, the independent nonprofit works with leaders and communities to model constructive disagreement and help Americans navigate difficult conversations without abandoning their principles.Viray explains why disagreement itself isn't the problem. Conflict can be productive. The danger comes when differences become identity, opponents become enemies, and people stop believing conversation can accomplish anything.In this episode:Why disagreement can be healthy—and even necessaryHow political polarization affects relationships and emotional well-beingWhy contempt and distrust make productive conversations nearly impossibleThe origins of Governor Spencer Cox's Disagree Better initiativeWhat researchers are learning about constructive disagreementWhy listening doesn't require surrendering your convictionsHow leaders can model healthier conflictPractical ways to approach difficult conversations with curiosity instead of hostilityDisagree Better's approach is surprisingly simple: you don't have to agree with someone to treat them with dignity. Its practical guidance emphasizes listening to understand, avoiding assumptions about another person's motives, separating opinions from identity, and staying curious during disagreement.Research behind Disagree Better offers an encouraging counterpoint. Stanford researchers studying the initiative's bipartisan messaging found that exposure to leaders modeling constructive disagreement increased people's willingness to listen to opposing views, increased openness to different perspectives, and reduced hostility toward political opponents.At a moment when many Americans feel exhausted by division, Morgan and Viray offer a different way to think about conflict: maybe the goal isn't to agree more. Maybe we need to get better at disagreeing.For more information please visit: disagreebetter.us, or for the Conflict Competency 40-hour training cohort please visit https://artsci.usu.edu/peace-institute/transformative-mediation-certification-training.