Marriage | The Lonely Marriage: Marriage Rescue - Part 5

Send us Fan MailTHE LONELY MARRIAGEMarriage Rescue - Part 5Senior Pastor Keith StewartAugust 28, 2022There is no worse feeling in the world than sleeping inches away from a person with whom you feel miles apart emotionally. According to a 2018 survey by the AARP, a third of all married people over the age of 45 reports feeling lonely. It’s a reminder that being alone is not what produces loneliness. A lack of intimacy – relational distance - is what produces loneliness. In this weekend’s message, we’re going to examine what things contribute most to our loneliness and what’s necessary to close the gap and revive the connections between us. You don’t want to miss God’s cure for loneliness.SERIES: Marriage RescueIt’s a hugely popular show on the Paramount Network and it’s called Bar Rescue. Jon Taffer, who has more than 40 years of experience in the business, offers his no-nonsense straight talk to struggling bar owners to help save their business and put them back on the road to success. What if there was such a person who could help us with our real life and relationships? What if a little no-nonsense straight talk about what it takes to build a healthy relationship could actually save our marriage and gets us back on the road to success? In this new series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to help a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and stepping stones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.DISCUSSION QUESTIONS1.) Loneliness can have its origins in things other than being ignored or rejected. Pastor Keith talked about two of them. One reason many feel so lonely is that they are not self-disclosing, not being open or vulnerable. When we are not truly known, we never feel truly loved. Why do people withhold themselves in relationships? What does that do to both them and the relationship?2.) Another reason that loneliness is so rampant today is the comparison trap many fall into by comparing their reality with what they see in their friends’ lives on social media. Why does comparison make us feel lonely? Have you ever done this yourself? Pastor Keith suggested limiting your exposure to social media simply because the more you engage in it, the more lonely you are likely to feel. Do you set limits for yourself or your kids when it comes to the amount of time you or they spend on social media? Why or why not?3.) Robin Williams said, “I used to think being alone was the worst thing. It’s not, it’s being with people who make you feel alone.” Have you ever been in a relationship where you experienced this to one degree or another? What did the other person say or do that made you feel discounted, abandoned, or rejected?4.) When it comes to healthy relationships, responding appropriately to “bids for connection” is key. Are there ways you have in prior or present relationships made frequent bids for connection? What were they and how did your partner respond to them?5.) Pastor Keith mentioned and illustrated the three main types of responses to bids for connection: “turning away,” “turning against,” and “turning toward”. Turning away might better be described as an apathetic or disengaged response – give examples of this. Have you yourself ever given a “turn away” response to your mate?6.) Turning against could also be described as antagonistic or even a way of completely shutting down any overture for connection. Give examples of this. Have you yourself ever given a “turn against” response to your mate?7.) Turning toward is really just another way of saying “yes” to the bid for connection by engaging, listening, or interacting. Give examples of this. Have you yourself ever given a “turn toward” response to your mate?8.) This topic in particular is a great one to take home with you and discuss more in private. Learn what your partner likes t