Married to addiction

'In the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths' - Drew Barrymore It started with small signs, changes in his behaviour, mood swings, lies, all of which I chose to ignore because I loved him. It didn't take long before they increased in frequency and magnitude that I had to take notice. I was feared the dream of 'happily ever after' was a lie. He was constantly making excuses or starting arguments so he could leave the house to feed his habit. Then there were terrible mood swings and I found myself walking on eggshells every time he was around. Even Maya who was only a baby would start to cry when she heard his key in the door and become clingy, which would rile him more. When I finally discovered his financial troubles, I wanted to be the cure. I thought I could save him. I couldn't be more wrong, whilst I was trying to build some financial security for us and help him pay off his debts, he was acrruing more!! I noticed things go missing , money, jewellery, even gift cards! if he came home in a good mood it was because he'd had a win, however when he was on a loosing streak, I would bear the brunt of his anger. Don't get me wrong, he was never physical, but the emotional abuse was debilitating. He chipped away at my confidence, I was questioning everything about myself the way I looked, my weight ( I'd just had a baby), my family, my friends. I was constantly being told I wasn't good enough to be a mother, to be a wife, to be a daughter or a daughter in law, I began to believe it. It took several harsh words from loved ones to make me take a good look at my life and the example I was setting for my daughter. If it was someone else in my shoes, I'd be screaming for her to get out! I finally took back control. It wasn't easy or pretty, but I did it, I got out!! Three incredibly courageous women share their stories alongside mine.