Matthew - Choose To Be Last

Matthew 20:17-28 Choose To Be Last Recorded August 28, 2016 Brookside Campus Michelle Campbell's Poem Time and time again, I made a name for myself...and not necessarily one that I wanted to be called by 'cause my actions had set the stage for performances that I was beyond ashamed of, but there was no turning back. I called myself climbing this ladder. You know the kind that's fashioned after self-glory and fortified by pride. It's funny, I had long since lost interest in what it was made of. I was more fascinated at what was at the top...the spotlight, recognition, fame of some sort. A mission that seemed impossible to abort because I was in too deep. It had never occurred to me how the things we aspire after can transform themselves into our secret identities if we aren't careful. Especially in ministry...because "ministry lives" matter, right? The struggle becomes putting the ministry first and allowing everything else to come after and even though God was the author, I was the co-author of that chapter at least once if not twice in my life. I owned some of the rights to this greatness I possessed. I mean really, how long are you willing to pause for the applause of my longing to be accepted to gratify my ego? A question that most times took too long for an acceptable answer to surge, so I sowed where I wanted with no expectations of reaping the benefits of my selfish antics. I was simply planting the foundation of my future. "In the meantime, I was on the road to my own Damascus, asking questions that suggested I knew the answer to something I didn't. If I had to admit it, I was the murderer who had been acquitted for the persecution of my righteousness on a journey that left me hell-bent to be converted to myself. If nothing else, this is why my entourage of conceit, vanity, and stubbornness slung our ways high above the heavens because we deserved to be first. After all, we knew best. As for the rest of you, your compliments only pacified my ego. I had a thirst that words alone couldn't quench and surely I could convince you that everything I did made sense and in the event that you chose to disagree with me, you would be cast into the sea of brimstone with the rest of the unmentionables." ...was the mindset I had until I was able to bear witness to the King of kings clothed in servant's attire retire my need to depend on me. He placed a feast of servant-hood before my table of greed and in humility with the silence of his actions, he glorified the background of His father's will. Will you listen? Will you hear things that don't make sense to you and try them by the Spirit who sent him. Will you understand that everything is not always as it seems? Will you take into consideration that in our greatness, we are the forerunners of His submission and with respect to role reversals, everything is not always about "me"?