Meeting your own inner teenager

What if the part of you reacting to your child isn’t the adult at all... but the teenager you used to be?This week I want to explore something many of us don’t realise is happening in the background of our parenting. Our inner teenager - the part of us that once slammed doors, or hid in silence, or tried very hard to look like we didn’t care - still lives inside us. And that part often shows up instead of our grown up self.I share a story of a mum whose daughter gave her a classic preteen eye roll. It was tiny, harmless, over in a second. Yet it hit the mother like a wave of shame and took her straight back to being a teen herself - a moment of feeling mocked or dismissed. Even though she knew better, her inner teen reacted first.This happens to all of us. That teenage part of us remembers rejection, embarrassment, longing to fit in, wanting so desperately not to get it wrong. So when our own child brushes up against one of those old wounds, our inner teenager jumps in, trying to protect us.The magic is not in silencing that part of ourselves. The magic is in listening. Because our inner teen can actually guide us. She can remind us what it felt like to be thirteen and confused, or fifteen and furious, or seventeen and fragile. And that helps us to understand how our own child is feeling; and we can meet our children where they truly are.In this episode, I explore how to pause, listen to your inner teen, and offer yourself the compassion you needed back then. When we do that, we parent from a place of understanding, not reaction.Thank you for pausing with me.Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe