Megan Benzik on Testing Positive

Earlier this year, Megan Benzik was selected for a drug test at the South Regional. Weeks later - if not months - CrossFit HQ released a statement that she had tested positive for several banned substances. I immediately started getting texts since I had coached Megan for 2016 and 2017 season (so I can't imagine how many messages she was getting). Megan made an Instagram post explaining that she was taking both Vyvanse (a prescription ADD medication) as well as Anavar (a steroid) - and that the Anavar was likely contaminated with the other banned substances that she tested positive for. Since Megan and I have kept in touch since she moved to Arizona last year, I figured it would be a good conversation to have her on the podcast to discuss the situation. I also feel the need to offer some sort of disclaimer, since I've found that the capacity of humans to misunderstand and take information out of context to be boundless: I certainly don't support the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sport - and neither does Megan. While we do spend some time talking about reasons and justifications for drug usage, this is not meant to be an attempt to make excuses. Rather, we are trying to dig into the compartmentalization and other psychological gymnastics that an athlete can get into as they go further down the path of performance-enhancing drug usage. Check out more from Megan here: Instagram: @megbenz210//@thefitvanlife Website: www.thefitvanlife.comIf you're enjoying the show, https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/todd-niefs-show/id1278759120?mt=2">why not a leave a review? It makes a difference in terms of other people finding the show.You can also subscribe to receive my e-mail newsletter at http://www.toddnief.com">www.toddnief.com. Most of my writing never makes it to the blog, so get on that list. Show Notes 01:50 Moving into and living in a van (down by the river)09:01 - Breaking up with CrossFit - and the feeling of being selected for a drug test 17:26 - How did you carry on with the competition knowing that you had likely just failed a drug test 22:18 - The difficulty in expaining to people why you weren't yourself on the competition floor 25:27 - Owning your mistakes rather than creating excuses 31:47 - How do you justify doing something consistently that you know is ethically wrong? 39:30 - Working on mindset" and being able to say the right things - but not actually believing them" 44:39 - What do you think your path would have been if you hadn't been selected for a drug test? 50:45 - How did you get started taking performance enhancing drugs? 55:36 - Feeling like your performances are a fluke and that you don't belong 01:04:31 - What are your goals post-CrossFit? 01:13:24 - Documenting disconnecting and moving into a van...on social media Links and Resources Mentioned CrossFit Games Announcement: Athletes in Breach of Drug Policy Megan's Statement on Instagram Austin O'Neal OPEX James FitzGerald Eckhart Tolle The Untethered Soul Mike Lee Oxandrolone (Anavar) Lisdexamfetamine (Vyvanse) Icarus Reefer Madness Bigger, Stronger, Faster* Underground Steroid Handbook