Mesa Fama

Where I’m From #1 By Mesa FamaInspired by George Ella LyonI am from ink and paper,From Folgers coffee and Coffeemate vanilla creamer.I am from the clover patch next to the concrete driveway.(Dewy, earthy, a soft spot in the hard grass.)I am from the oak treesWhose surety in trunk and steadfastness in roots lined the road and guided me to  my mother when my aunt was lost and couldn’t remember the way.I’m from Sunday dinners and addiction,From Doreen and Diana KayeI’m from the needing to be rights and never wrongsFrom “Use your inside voice” and “always make good choices”.I’m from question everything and Mormons who never did.I’m from dirty Vegas and the Wilkerson’s,Dry roast beef with mashed potatoes and gravy, and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies.From the addiction riddled father and mother who lost their lives to separate suicides 23 years apart – my father on Christmas eve 1995 and my mother 3 months before my 30th birthday in 2008.In multiple cardboard boxes live pictures in bags, albums, and frames of a family history that was often a façade filled with secrets that would be revealed upon the deaths of my grandmother and mother. The lost loves, deafening silences, and soul crushing judgments behind the carefully curated smiles.I am from the spaces between the judgements and contagious silence, the product of ties that bind but am somehow always left behind. I foraged through the boxes to find myself and looking for a place there, instead I found my voice within and made a space for myself in a life that’s all my own, no longer seeking approval that will never come from the faces in the frames.Where to find Mesa:Website: https://www.mesafama.com/Substack: https://substack.com/@mesaWhere to find Alyson:Website: https://www.alysonshelton.comSubstack: https://whereimfrom.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/byalysonshelton/