Midnight, Bitter Cold, Zero Snacks — Hamlet Act 1, Scene 1

In Episode 1, our two snobbish, perpetually inconvenienced hosts whine their way through Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act 1 Scene 1, where Francisco, Barnardo, Marcellus, and Horatio freeze on guard duty, get lightly gaslit (“it’s just your fantasy”), and then meet the Ghost of the dead King Hamlet, who is frankly too sensitive for the questions he’s being asked.We complain about:Midnight guard duty as an unacceptable lifestyle choiceHoratio’s scholar attitude (and why he’s suddenly responsible for undead small talk)The ghost’s dramatic entrances/exits and hurt feelingsFortinbras, military prep, and unsolicited geopolitics at 12 a.m.The cock crowing at the exact worst moment, robbing everyone of closurePour something nice, cut the cheese, and join us as we demand hazard pay, aftercare, and basic manners, because if we wanted to stand around freezing while waiting for something to happen, we’d just show up early for brunch.