I pledge of allegiance to the American black No, I can't do this. Hey, can you do it? I'm watching his brain break This is what crazy this is what you feel like all the time Now you understand my pain voices in the head dude. It's hard to work with yeah of the west of Cassing yeah, I've got bigger numbers bigger numbers then all the influences put together Luck and Paul is an insignificant piss-hand compared to me.
Why well, here's why cuz you're fake and I'm real and real It's not popular because you're all full of shit and you can't handle the truth Just like Jack Nicholson said Nicholas Nicholson Nicholas Nicholson There's one guy who's the problem one guy who's the one I'm golfer and the other one was one of the greatest actors of our time Not I might be saying that wrong too, but still you know what I'm trying to say ladies I'm the biggest guest that anyone's ever had in a history of podcasts miles That's a really good song that the who wrote about you. Yeah, it's crazy. That's insane. Who's pretty smart, right?
They're pretty sick. I uh executive producer and now executive guest Executive guest is a little strong. Yeah, you're an executive moron That was really stupid you're on fire until you open your mouth. We're gonna happen a little bit today How do you feel right now?
I feel good. It's weird not being in a closet. Do you see me? Yeah?
Tell me about it It's great to be back, you know, that's how I see it Some people disagree some people say there's no going back and I say Nah, mate. I'm I'm I'm not packing the cloth. I'm just I don't have a closet. You ran out of the closet Came out swinging for sure You fought out of the clock.
Yeah, he could lay guy Yeah, that was a huge mistake, but he went straight from telling only family to only fans But it's like that one guy that died in the guy did dr. Venture back Donald's and then he died not from McDonald's Maybe died from McDonald's with the guy that died recently is Morgan mega Morgan Spurlock. Yeah, he did you know He dove in hard on Mcdod on fast food. What would do you?
Yeah, I don't mean hard on the gate now. I can tell you what it can what I'll do Do you yeah, you came out. That's right. That was an investigative report.
That's what I did you were method acting research and development right? Some people find it hard to go back like he fled another guy died. He was a juggler and then he just stayed the Jocka Mm-hmm. Is there anything nice about the closet?
I'm you get to come a lot But you don't feel good about it. I feel like you came the most when you came out of the closet swinging Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, and now I know I don't really come at all. Yeah, you burnt the closet. Yeah, I think it's time I think it's time to really It's been hard like I've done a lot of things lately that I don't do anymore like cuddly I'm not a pothead.
I'm not a alcoholic. I'm a drug addict I'm not a sex maniac and I'm still a thrill-sake here in them. It's done. I think it might be time to hang that up too See Jason is not for you.
Street Jason was a big mistake I'm really sore and like really like I went to bed at 12 o'clock because I was so sore and then I woke up at like seven Because my wrist started hurting and I was like what's gonna and I was like oh yeah now because it comes later You know because I roll both my ankles left one bad. It's like throbbing. Sorry backup. What did you do?
You did a full body Chris Cole hit me up. He hits me up a lot now because we hang out and he keeps saying I'm going to this place You know me and I'm like streets getting yeah, and he's like yeah And I'm like did you know me like even in my prime you knew that that was like a no like I would I'll die if I go This is like 30 year old Jason will get hurt if you go. Have you ever invited him to join you at the mega ramp? Yeah, I've no I've made the joke and he laughs right and he's well He's more sensible than me so he just goes no right and I go maybe and more to me You know cuz I was saying I was grexing in Australian stuff and go streetscape with those guys when I was younger and they were more They were like you know, you know, you know, he's a bit of a tard on the old streets So we'll pick spots for Jason.
Yeah, you know, right and place where we're all of team off you can have fun Oh man, I love you man, it's so cool team off you're a bit weird unstoppable force far out, but He said, you know, he keeps inviting me and I was like I take him up on it You know, I'll be because sober guy is social you make efforts to do things, you know, and I go, you know I asked God, you know, I'm like, what are you gonna do sit here? Are you gonna go? Am I got a couple hours before the show? Oh go and you know, and it's P-Rod Paul Rodriguez has his own skate park And he's one of the greatest streets games these two guys are the two two of the greatest skaters ever devolive It's a tough invitation to turn now stuff word to say to yes You already know what's an invitation invitation Pace yourself miles.
No, that's correct. Oh, the second one is oh is it you're telling us after we corrected you invitation Second guessing himself now It is stuff having to look people in the eyes while I'm doing it. I'm just staring into a black cloth. I know So no there was no invitation what though?
It was an invitation invitation Invitation Of course in the invitation. I don't talk like that. I'm pretty laid back these days. You're doing old j'sk Invitation I'm an invitation Yeah, but anyway, I took him up on it and I show up and as soon as they open the gate I get out of the car grab my boy down the back and it's just Chris Cole and just Paul Rodriguez And they've both got phones out filming me walking into the street club But they're like here he is and I'm like come on guys like you're documenting possibly the last time I skateboard I said that jokingly but it might be because I'm so sore and I feel so stupid And I don't really want to warm up because I don't really understand warming up on a street course I'm like warm up and do what everything in this course is not for me to ride So like I'll warm up on this thing.
No, no anything I do on anything in there is full speed That's it. There's no I'll just warm up on that ledge. No, I've got that skill shot on that ledge like whatever I'm gonna do on anything in here is death I slipped out because it's all because street dudes have waxy stuff on ledges and then it gets on the floor So the ground is slick so I got to turn my board slips out and I hit the ground and I'm like, okay cool I've been here for approximately one minute after a good start and they've got this big bank and they're both standing on it So I go up there and I'm like well There's only one way down the end is down the big bank and the foot and I'm too scared to go off to the right Because I think I'm gonna slip out and then there's uh like a bank and you're all over a gap It's like a step up is what they call it. I believe and uh they're both doing tricks up the step up at will just of course Like it's not just stock they're doing all kinds of stuff sure that's the warm up for them Yeah, no they're playing.
Yeah, yeah, two of the greatest street skaters who ever lived still very much in their physical primes Not so much overkill covered my piece better days. You've seen better days. Are everybody still unbelievably good Not in their athletic prime and their physical prime. It's not a 70-year-old on a board.
Yeah, the body still works Yes, yeah, they're fit right street fit right they go streets gave for like five hours and then they walked the next day That's right. So that's that's fit to me. So uh, I'm like man, I've done step ups in my time Not great, but I can make it up stuff I can still ollie and I remember thinking maybe doing ollie on the flat ground first and I was like you can't do that It's gonna hurt like that's how old I am like ollie on the flat ground like oh that hurt and I don't want to risk it I don't want to fall doing it. I'll be on the ground.
I'm like, I'm just gonna ollie over the gap So I just shoot down the thing and ollie over the gap and the board kind of I'm off balance So I kick my board out and I land the board lands on my front foot and I roll my ankle first shot Then the next one boy gets tangled again and I slam not too bad but skid in the cost of ground and I'm like wow Really, uh, this is harder than I thought, you know, so maybe I'm then I rolled around a little bit and tried to warm my legs up I was like man, you're you're just uh, you're not you're really stiff and I don't skate a lot either So then Chris is like dude you're slamming and you're not filming it like you've got to film what you're doing right now because you're you're pushing it already And I'm like now I completely agree. Can you film it? So then I slam one more time And then uh the next one is a whip hat where I do make it but because I'm so surprised I made it I whip out and hit my butt and I guess I put my hand down I didn't even really realize what I sprayed my wrist and that just didn't kick in until like seven o'clock this morning It woke me up, but my knee is wrecked from tearing my dead man's mcl I rolled my ankle on that side and I rolled my left ankle the first thing And my my stomach hurts from hitting my arse so hard and this wrist is kind of jacked, but it's more of a full body I'm just tapped out like I'm just super tired and worn out. Mm-hmm And I'm like, I got seven hours sleeping.
It's not bad. No, but I'm not good to do stuff And I'm like you're ruining your real job and real life Playing around with your friends, you know, and you could it's a tough look But you could be the guy with the knee pads in the street bar. No your views Absolutely. We'll not even keep the play But anything can change because I had a conversation with my girlfriend yesterday and she was like Not a lot of people it's crazy to see people You know that still skate because there's a lot of people that go into skating they get older and they go Jobs to do and they hang it up because they're too old but you Keep going and it's like not even your job.
You just keep going because You're just like you won't give up like you keep testing yourself And she's like, you know, you like hanging out with your horse, right? And I was like I do I do she's like well, that's not dangerous And it's like, you know, like I read a book sometimes. I was like, I don't want to read. That's gay, you know And I kind of find it difficult to do but she's like there's other things out there in life And I'm like I know but it's gay and I am me.
I'm a maniac and I cannot be stopped I will not be stopped and I think this whole attitude of like, you know, because people Message me. Oh, jay, she's in inspiration. I'm like in inspiration. I can die.
I can barely walk and it's just like I mean, who are you doing it for? You know, because I sometimes I think You know, if you thought ahead You know, it's like if you go if you go to that place, you're not gonna just stand there You are gonna try and jump something you just have to and then you are gonna be sore And I just think the kind of sore I am now And because of my age I feel a bit stupid, you know, I'm like, why did you do that? You know, like Chris had fun and you know, maybe a thousand people on Instagram Like the video where I I'll eat up the gap but it's really not, you know, by Sunday I mean, it was like dad, what are you doing? I mean, I think your days for bulls and vert ramps aren't over.
Maybe your gap days are over I think it's okay to not skate your gaps. Yeah. Yeah, I just I just think of I haven't made my mind. I mean, I don't I retire from fighting Even though somebody was mentioning a very knuckle fight and I was like, well, you know, I would do that But then my girlfriend was like, you are not doing that.
You know, so well, that's good I see where you're coming from but if it's for a certain amount of money Like for 50 grand. I'll fight anybody very knuckle anybody because I can take it But I don't want to so I probably won't and they're probably not gonna pay me that so I don't have to worry about that But I'm just I don't think I've ever really thought about it until yesterday this conversation and then today waking up this rec When I'm like, what if I went down a different path, you know, because all the things that I used to do like man I was high every day all day and I just done people all day every day and now I don't like any way don't know just anyone And it's not bad. It's better. Okay.
I'm having a better life because of it and I'm like I wonder if I You know, I got a right motto. I don't ride mode anymore. I love moto, but if I ride mode, I go hospital I don't want to go hospital anymore. So I don't ride mode anymore And it's not that bad like I do other things So I think and I've always I just keep jumping into other things that are dangerous Is there a hobby that you haven't done that you would like to pick up that perhaps works with your current old man lifestyle?
See see that hurt Well, it's just I know I am I know it's not I'm gonna die dude. My heart has been jumping for like two weeks I don't know how much longer I'm gonna live dude. I mean you were still jizzing on everything not that long ago Oh, wait, you can't you can't go from I'm gonna retire from boxing and doing a kind of skating that I was never even good at in the first place To I'm an old man. Yeah, no, there's gotta be some sort of in between that's what I mean What I think you obviously know that you were not setting your argument up for success by well It's like what are old man.
I thought a list of things that people can get into but like that don't require so much It's a golf course across the street, but real is saving golf. Yeah, I remember you said that No, dude, my girlfriend's got her dad's golf clubs in the garage. You're better than that Jason What is it my though? Yeah, fuck.
You just call me an old man. Yeah, but there's cool old man shit. You can do you have a name's one thing Yeah, I don't know you could write around on ATVs or some oh that is some rather read a book or like I don't know like okay. I'm skiing Water skiing sure yeah water skiing what about doing like formation like human pyramids surfing Yeah, what about if I do information with a bunch of days where we blow each other not doing it What about you get that you get on the one leg and then you stick the other Love you, but I love you because you just know that it's gay.
Okay. No seriously like I'm not pro golf in the slightest I'm anti if anything, but why is it gay like defend? You can't just say it's gay because somebody told you it's gay and you agree with it Tell me what's wrong with golf. I don't think it's gay.
I just think golfing Like I have a bunch of homies at golf. It's cool. I just No, they're no no some of them are cool right, but when they're golfing they're no longer They think I don't like about golfing is the first thing about it is if you're not hammered everyone around you is hammered Whoever whatever homies you get to golf for you with you the likelihood of them being sober. I feel like is low Wait, I mean, that's just my way.
Yeah, but I play golf sub like some do but I feel like most of the people are drinking I feel like I could be wrong on that, but at least my age for sure fools are drinking Yeah, I think I think it's people to play golf sub I think 22 year old golfers are a little bit different from Two year old golfers the people I know who are big golfers are not drinkers. Yeah My three buddies are not necessarily anymore representative than your three buddies. Okay, that can't be the reason No, it was just a thing. Okay, so that one we've dismissed that one.
Yeah, we dismissed that one The next one is well first of all, I feel like golf is tough if you have a beat up body Why because like you're back and all that shit like I don't know see I tend to agree with you in theory But all the all the tired athletes that's all they do golfing just hurts me more than most things I'm also asset golf like I hit people behind me and shit somehow So I can't really be like you're my are you cranking as hard as you can when you hit the ball? Yeah, that's what I want to do see that's the difference That's what you would want to do too though But now it might see that was different I said when I played golf I played golf before and I was drunk and high And I was and I was trying to smash I was trying to have you Gilmore everything And now I was aware when I played golf that there's a technique And because there were people that were nowhere near as strong as me to get hit the ball further and I'm like, okay Pow being strong is not how you get that ball to go somewhere there's technique in it I think I noticed in my small amount of golf playing the More I used technique and not muscle the straight of the ball went And it was very hard for me to want to commit to that because I really just wanted to beat the shit out of it Because I'm in the end of all and that's what feels good But if I want to be good at golf and like actually make the thing go around I know that I would want to use I would want to finesse it and use technique and I think that when it comes to being sore after playing a sport Sure, maybe the first couple times I go I might wake up and be like, oh, I have a different muscle that I haven't used that is making me feel a little bit sore But I don't think it would make me as sore as I am today from what I did yesterday Yeah, I don't think golf has street skating like I'm hesitant on skating street these days I'm 25 like that is one of the most brutal things. Yeah, dude like trump golfs every available second He's a lot He's never fit here's the gray hair stuff. I want to do first of all.
I want to get good enough at jujitsu That could be the old dude. That's just like killing 25 year olds That's pretty sick. I feel like you're probably nice enough at jujitsu where you could pull up in a gym and mess some people up Yeah, but it's my all the injuries in my knees and my ankles got to touch a balloon I'm like asking for it. Okay.
And then the other surfing's still role surfing's great surfing needs friends I go I've gone and I'm by myself and I'm not good enough So people snake me in california and they yell at me And then I want to fight them and it takes away the whole thing that I wanted to go for So unless I like all of a sudden was friends with somebody who's an actual surfer and we went all the time also I don't want to get up in the morning because I'm doing late night comedy and you get up early and drive and it's just I don't have the passion and the drive to To want to get good enough to be able to just catch away whenever I want it. It's You know, it's not the love is not the it because it's like it's cold or you know I went to what is old man's or whatever and it's like, oh, you gotta walk on the rocks and my feet are sore and everybody's taking my wave And then I'm waiting. Oh, there's no way. It's like that shot.
You know, it's like man. Come on. I want this not good You didn't seem like you were having too much That was you're talking about Kelly's lady I did I like I didn't like it because they didn't like it because they didn't I didn't get one way No way go is tough. Yeah, wake up with me because they're enough 50 degrees Tony's brother was surfing.
He's like I stuff in Alaska and it's called her here and I was like, I want to be here Yeah, that's that was and I was still unhappy about the crate of it So what what if you were okay tomorrow you got to try a new activity? Thank you race car driving. I would love to do that but that customer okay, not race car something like feasible Tomorrow, what's I'm saying did this nothing? Okay?
So I got a list I got a list of things that don't require any physical You know, like you're not no risk of getting hurt like that. Have you considered knitting? No, considering me I should you get back in the closet. It's almost over dude.
It's almost over. Hold on That's just one. Okay, that's not for you. How about birdies me the point of me existing.
What is knitting have to do with you existing? I will not I would rather die than okay. How about burning? Tons of wild birds in the name of them and identify them.
Oh my god. What about burning? You mean arson yeah That's pretty cool. You don't get in trouble for that.
There's not too much like physical, you know Is there like an acid gym? We're gonna make an arson club. Yeah, is it awesome school? Well, yeah, I mean I could be a fireman, but that seems pretty physical that sounds like an awesome gig volunteer fireman Yeah, come on.
Yeah, you can do that like you are equal to like a not particularly fit or athletic 35 year old guy I'm sure yeah, right. Yeah, you could be a fireman. Yeah You know one of the guys I beat up at the junior of the day won a bare knuckle fight this last weekend Yeah, and I beat the crap out of it. You got all stuff.
See what I mean dude. Yeah, that's why I mean you're not gonna sit there You're gonna be thinking about the bear knuckle fight. This is the I made for war you can join a book club and I'm 53 Which means I'm supposed to be dead dude Jason would end up fighting someone at the book This is Viking stuff. It's like my blood is I'm supposed to battle and now there's no more battles Maybe it's like in that movie the TV series Viking the older guy was like just let me go out there and die so I get to go to Valhalla Yeah, what did like what other than that guy what did Viking guys do when they retired from the battle?
Maybe they did jigsaw puzzles. I think they just Four games four games. Oh, make your own greeting cards. I think although those might get imagine that I think I think book club ever give me if you ever give me a card that you made like it's just like christmas give it to anybody I made a bunch of them like I'm gonna take that is your way of saying I'm too proud to say kill me out Make that you understand my mind.
Yeah. Yeah. That's a red. What is it?
Right? This is a blue and kill me when I see Yeah, I think book club and board games create a scrapbook. You've got many memories scrapbook So unfair see what I mean. This is more reassuring that I should just go quilting into the dark quilting is tough I mean riding a horse.
That's what I should do. I should do. These are like these are like I can't walk anymore activities road trips are cool That's coming dude. Have you seen me walk right now?
So you're gonna get in a quilting no no, but I could be a cowboy I feel like you could get in a gaming like video games. Oh like competitive like oh my god I'm just trying here. I don't have any respect for those people. I respect myself, but it's competitive You know, that's the curse dude is I'm fucking cool and I can't do shit.
Yeah, huh? I got it. I got it Jef Rowley he does like volunteer wild animal capturing like bears and like wild cats North and just volunteers He's to be a skateboard I don't I gotta be at the comedy store. I gotta be here four days a week But you could do they for sure have animal rescue and you know, there's like a Archery or something.
Yeah, you love animal controls everywhere. You could be like I'm pretty sure you can kind of just go online and be like I catch snakes and people I'm pretty sure that's not sure that if you put out like a thing like hey Awesome's in your house like hit me up that would be and then he's just like Venmo me and then he'd go in and do that I just lie and say that I am a great like snake guy. Oh, you need is Kekky shorts. Yeah, you don't go to like awesome catching school.
I'm pretty sure suicide by animal control Because I'm really excited me. I didn't try to dive so I think he's around. Oh wait, where'd he go? Like I'm pretty sure if you're just good at catching shit like you're good.
Yeah, or bad depending on what you're ultimate cold I had one of my dad's friends used to catch snakes in the bush and he would get a stick that had two branches And he would snap it off so there was like a fork of sorts And he would go over the snake and hit it in the back of the head and we'd hold its head down And then he grabbed the tail and pick it up and that was He did that every now and then he was gonna die You do it. I was like nah, we don't have those snakes out here. I'm pretty sure Australia has like yeah, we have the most poisons Yeah, like what you're gonna be catching like some bitch ass snake here is there's poisonous snakes Yeah, but like no, we're in rattler country, but they make sounds they do rattle You know they tell you hey, I'm right here, but I mean I did have a possum living in my couch at one point in time It is the live feed on yeah, you had a possum living in your couch. Yes, it's not sick You know like the lining underneath the couch.
Yeah, and turn through that shit made like a possum hammock And it's totally empty space. I don't say it's a fuck. It was fuck. That's like one of those things now if I sit on a couch And I like think I feel something move.
I just think there's like a possum under me That's valid terrifying, but here this guy how because possums I am I have never witnessed a possum going into a house that is inhabited Dude, I we had a possum infestation when I was younger. Oh, that's right But still you said in the garage. I didn't know it yeah in the garage in the house behind my mom woke up one night And one was drinking water out of the glass next to her head and shit like holy gnarly and we called this motherfucker, right? Right and we're just like hey, you know like they're like large nose for our two rats.
Yeah, no this thing was gnarly He was not like I'm just staying here. He was like this is my couch now Right and so we found this dude and we hit him up This dude was one of those guys I think that just like light Touching shit wanted to die. He just stuck his hand up in there and grabbed the thing stuck it in a sack and left and I was like Did you have a glove on no? Yeah, it's right.
Road dog. It's crazy. He raw dog the possum Money is saying that I should play call of duty and people could watch it on patreon, but yeah, you can talk shit to people Then he's like Money on twitch. Yeah, but I want someone in the chat.
I would pay to watch you play video games and rage out I don't have any money either Liar what about painting painting what I don't know you remember you said you wanted to you wanted to paint back I don't want time. I got a broke up my girlfriend. It's one of the times that you know because I handle breakups really well And I started painting I made a painting for my mom It's terrible. I got a bad painter.
I'm bad, you know, maybe if I worked on it. It's gonna be about maybe doing country music I've been listening a lot of country music lately. I painted a portrait of Tony once You got it. Yeah, I'll find it too.
That's sick. It was awesome. It's a great portrait. Well a great thing about countries anybody can make it Yeah, yeah, I was I'm I mean kind of being funny, but you're also very serious.
Yeah, it's true Yeah, why don't you start a band with tully? Because we'd have to be around each other. Yeah, we tried that Yeah I don't like I'm surprised we like each other at all. There's some about it There's a guy like I make custom knives.
I don't know how to make knives. Oh dude, you know what? Banging metal. Yeah, that is something I That's really sick.
It's crazy that you say that I think I told you this I took my kid to there's a forge here in the valley I took my kid to an open house there. He made like a tiny little sword. That's right. You told me that That's not that far from here and yeah people take classes and shit you can absolutely do that If you take a class and you still need your own forages as well as gold no, I think they just have like spots there I don't know exactly how it works, but I think you like paying you can reserve hours Yeah, nobody has a forge at their house all the and and only one or two people like there's one or two people who work out of that place They like make props for movies everybody else is just doing it for fun Yeah, you can absolutely go forge metal in like like red hot metal wait a minute Miley saying she paid me a thousand dollars out of her own pocket if I stop playing Call of Duty on playstation with with your fans Dude, I think it would be hilarious for you to rage out on people playing Call of Duty.
I do need to rage out Why is something? Miles drinks lean button Oh Told the story of one time I drink. Um, I'm trying to find I will find I will find this painting. Just give me a second Yeah, so yeah, I'll send you to the forts.
That's easy. Give that a shot. Dude. The forage is right up Then when you make you but then when you make the soil, you don't go to battle You just what you did to go to the wall.
Okay, you have like 15 around the house. You're clearly a fan of the decoration Yeah, I've dropped off. It was my my excellency. So then just get a job as a like a like a gun for hire.
Hmm. You make kill people Yeah, I'll join like black water or something Okay, it's too late to join the military. Yeah, but there's people in like Africa will just hire somebody who's like, no, I'll kill people I'll be late for the show. I think you would have to take like projects Right and disappear and go and like one kind of like a vacation.
We could zoom in. Yes, I need a vacation Yeah, didn't kill somebody on vacation. That's pretty badass. Maybe a bunch of people Every single one of my second right.
That's the great thing about this job. You could kill poachers. Oh, yeah That sounds fun People that are trying to shoot rhinos. Yeah, sure Donald Schultz could just be like Slip you a piece of paper that's just like here's that address.
You didn't get this from me If you kill somebody that's killing a rhino, can I go to jail for that? Well, I feel like if they're killing a rhino, especially in Africa and you catch them, there's a good chance they shoot at you Well, there's that obviously there and then you get to shoot them, right? But yeah, if you just go if Donald Schultz or while life conservationist Donald Schultz over there and presumably still in South Africa goes like you Didn't hear this from me, but these guys that live at this address. They're all bad dudes.
They're poachers Yes, if you go It's vigilant to justice. Yeah, if you go and kill them and you get caught then yeah, you could absolutely go to a South African prison Which I don't recommend also that sounds stressful It's super stressful. You'd want to know and Schultz could probably tell you this as well are the local cops like look man I honestly do you know me? I'm glad you killed those sons of bitches, but the law is the law or would they be like?
We're not gonna fucking go looking for some video kill poachers. That's valuable. That's again We're doing this intensity thing and it's a part of like what I'm trying to let go. Oh, I see you know, right?
I gotta stop trying to find yeah, like what is a happy medium? Okay, so here we so now we're back to and this is where all we're all roads in your life I've always been funneling like like like an 18 with more murder when people are accused of crimes crimes against children and then somehow they walk You find out who they are and you just walk up behind some guy who's like, you know getting a we lack out of a shit one day I'm putable in a set man. I don't even think I should admit that but hey everybody Do you like laughing and funniness? Did I say funniness correctly the West Coast cowboy tour?
It's me and some people say it's easy on the cowboy thing. I got a horse It's still my foot I ride a bear back and this is my cat and it's a cowboy too So it's West Coast cowboy tour. I'm on the road if you want to see where I'm gonna be go to the Jason Ellis calm to see tour dates And where I'm gonna be because I might be in your town because I'm going everywhere very flexible check it out everybody get tickets come see me Don't go on my social media go. Oh, I didn't know you were there The Jason Ellis calm do it go now.
I'll see you soon. Oh, man Jason Ellis here reminding you that I have a clothing line again I'm back. I'm shipping it out myself out of my garage sign skateboards I will sign them personally and mail them out personally then I have custom hats sway hats they're made from recyclable stuff and washable They're super durable. They last forever.
They're super sizes and they're way more flexible I am pretty ain't when it comes to hats and these are the best baseball caps I've ever had black and white two different shapes So check those out and of course I have t-shirts with not t-shirts and Jason Ellis books all available at v Jason Ellis calm So get them while you can everybody like that interview with miles I did there's more of that at my patreon where I do two live patrons a week And then I also record the podcast that you can watch live while it happens before it's edited So there's three Jason I'll show and then I do awesome world where I do a solo show with my executive producer miles These are all available if you go to patreon calm slash Ellis made tons of content very very funny very amusing Please try to check it out. I would appreciate it. Thank you I know see or you could quilt you got options right definitely rather cool I know you would Cool things not Like I said just kill me What's like the least bad way of like making things that people can wear like tanning leather is that kind of okay? That's pretty like Kind of mainly yeah saddlebags for holly davis and yeah Indians because holly davis and move their Svetry to Thailand they did oh man.
Oh man. It was constant must be holly davis and no Yeah, we're against holly davis and fit out american anymore holly davis and better anyway I heard that owner is German and he advocates trans I'm sorry cross-traces reading for kids. Oh my goodness. What a son of a bitch.
Oh, wow the frogs are good Cola duty doesn't sound so bad now just because I somebody's gonna give me a thousand bucks That's worth it. I promise you you'd have fun. I don't think if you get past the like I'm kind of being a nerdy part I'm very bad at it. Yeah, but you get okay like really bad every time I've ever tried to play I just die Yeah, and I'm like I hate this I would need like if somebody I'm emailing you this Brianna Even if somebody like said to me hey, I'm gonna give you like like hey guaranteed if you get on twitch You're gonna make like six figures playing holly duty.
I would be like okay. Give me like four ramp up games Like I'm gonna start I'm gonna go back to playing super mario on original ten ready build up my thumb string And then I go give me and then give me oh shit. Oh, wow. That doesn't look that looks more like I got it looks like Ernie.
Yes at a button any that's what I thought it actually looks like if tonerne if if Ernie How is that Tony Hawk if Ernie broke up if Ernie broke up? This was like a year ago New boyfriend on sesame Street with teetor tees it's kind of off or Tony Hawk had sex with Barrett and that's the child Tony Bernie why does Tony have a toupee and why is it on sideways? Why is Tony's walking out of the cloud? Why is Tony's face so tan these necks are why yeah the fucked up thing too is that paintings in a window now when the sun comes through He's just red right so it looks terrifying.
I don't know Either way, I never guess that that was the great Tony Hawk. I would say that is the great Chas paulmentary yeah, it's just not him at all at all. I mean, it's him Caitlyn Jenner I think he paint like I do okay. It was a beautiful sentiment.
Yeah, but when you were done. It's a thought that counts Yep, clearly mostly mostly. This is this is the exception this is the exception that kind of proves that rule You either give this to someone and they go. Oh, thank you like sick This is funny or you give it to someone they're like fuck you for No, not if you're like a Todd like you that's still I just want to know with all due respect miles Yeah It's a beautiful sentiment.
Thank you and how long did you work on this? You know, I worked on it too long. How long did you work on it? Let's just say I had a one session.
I had to restart. Let's put it out. Of course you did. Was it more than one session?
Wait, it was the worst one than that. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Like it just didn't have a head or something like accidentally fully a day Oh, yeah, you gotta go.
It was more dick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, like I think you should draw do those.
I can do those So you invested some time. Yeah, this is the point and some emotion, but yes, I know it was made with a lot of love not a ton of What is there any point between when you finished it because we've all set off with a project was gonna be amazing And then we got oh shit, that's maybe not what I intended Was there any point between when you finished it and you handed it off that you thought maybe I should just pretend this never happened? Well, no, well one of the Well, what are the problems? Yeah, well, what are the problems when I'm painting is I don't like step back I just assume I'm killing it.
Yeah when you're painting so you habitually paint it. I've tried like a few times Alright, you know like five right? That's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot.
That's how many paintings I've done I always stand back and I'm like, oh, this is my chickpeas. She's got canvas and paints in the other room There's an art room in this house. She's better than me I thought that the I thought there were the canvases that were gonna go up in the house And then I was like when's this stuff gonna move? She's like this is the art room.
I was like, oh, you just found out you have an art room You're okay Yeah, I thought she was like two weeks ago. How long have been here like two months maybe I'll get what did you think that room was? You were just like storing shit that was she was storing shit. She's gonna stop putting it on the walls on the art room Yeah, you have an art room.
Yeah, shut up Brianna. It's not that fucking fight right? What got their life? You didn't know either me.
Everybody did. I mean one person did Was it like a Jason has an art room Jason's house has an art room I mean you should get into painting because I haven't have an art room Right unless you want to fill up half of it with just like four It's also a music room. It has guitar amp and piano and then the other side of the wall So you go in there and paint paint? No, I have an idea I believe me.
How about this? You want to make money and It's something that'll make you kind of feel good about yourself is you volunteer to nude model for people To paint you're always the nude model people can only come and work in your studio Wait, well, so you just go you leave it like you like you can paint me nude and they come over in your art room You like fixing a cup of tea and then you disrobe and go like that I do you do and they pay you to use your room and you as a model and you just keep on every day you bring in a different Amateur painter and there always some combination of actual painter and criminal pervert. Yeah, you can just wake up in the morning It's pretty close to coming in oh my wrist to it then walk in there pose Get paid and I reapply my CBD Well, I need some CBD for my wrist Dr. Jones I Like that all right the people know about this guy people who don't have the patreon to know about this guy's amazing accent scale Have they met crocodile miles?
I don't think they have yeah, we've never seen it in action. We just hear it was straight from the outback That's how you do it, huh? How much like how can we get some some producer to invest in a hit camera show? What do we just take this guy from town to town dress like crocodile Dundee walks into bars and strikes up conversations I was thinking about wearing like an outfit today But just do it over and over and over striking up conversations with people in Australia and sticking to your and they're just like there's no way The Sun is gone insane.
No, he's crazy. What are you doing? Paul Huggins kid? Yeah, it's crazy and he likes talks about Conspiracies and nice and he's he's a Cockro done these super worried about him.
Cuckatane him He walks around saying stupid shit. I think he's an artist as well. He's going silly burgers He does hot so that's yeah the last refuge of the damned. That's the end of that see that's how it ends You do out and then you just lose yourself.
Yeah that one guy cut his ear off, right? He's worried sick over his oh no, what is living in jumping? Oh, that's Paul Huggins Wow 85 years old deeply concerned His youngest child's erratic online actions looking to shoveled as he loitered in alleys near his father's Venice Beach home That's never good. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's what I think. Oh, is huh? Oh What if this is how we found out dingoes I guess son do it all at our right perfectly absolutely Jeez sounds like lurking in alleys and Venice Beach is never wait on showing off injuries while topless in a car with pals Well, if you're topless in your dude, is that really I know I've literally never heard that yeah only if you try to go Listen, you try to go to sizzler maybe as a hot set of tips maybe I feel like they're burying the leader Crocodile Dundee worried sick about his own's erotic behavior, but conceits sick tits I mean that would be tough to be Paul Huggins son Six and amazing rack that would be that'd be tough man. She's like what do I do only fans are you know me?
I'm d2 wait they did that and three what if you steal priceless paintings? Yeah, I don't want to do that. Yeah, I might involve jail time I don't know jail. No, that's definitely not a great older person activity I'm art either like high-end art.
The very is cool and it does like most of the super cool criminal stuff that happens in movies It's like I try that in real life actually there people get away with A decent number of like masterpieces where people really did come in through the ceiling and give sleeping pills to the dogs and the Painting was never found again. It was a $20 million. I haven't been set up with all due respect I don't think you're the man for that job. Yeah, I think like start off with Call of Duty and if things don't go Yeah, yeah, you got a few options before that.
Yeah, we're sure What if we did like a Christmas twitch or Call of Duty thing with all the patreon people and then I'll play some cod with you We could be on a team place of what some con cod don't ever use that acronym and get all of duty to You're gonna have to know do we get some oatlay while we're watching it? Yeah for sure I don't want to know what that would do to you, but for sure I think the mixture of Call of Duty and all I said I can take it now. I cheat a lot I don't know dude. It's kind of another animal.
I had pancakes today because that's so bad. I thought they were cheating me out That's what I mean if you had I'm contemplating like, you know, he food giving it up Yeah, giving up being a thrill seeker, you know, and I give it up I'm just giving up everything you know, it's like you know, all of them and I'm gonna die and my man It's somebody send me a photo on Instagram you say of Jumping off from handrail over a rolling into a vert ramp and I immediately was like, oh I Remember that contest. I don't know I think it was like Venice No, like it was in Florida or something But I had one of those boots on because I Fractured my my leg and the doctor gave me a boot instead of a cast and I shut up with crutches in a boot And I took the boot off and sports tape my ankle and went in the contest And I didn't feel like I was gonna make a ride So I jumped off the railing and it's if you see a photo posted on my Instagram. Oh, I did it Like the photo maybe it's not as Nellie Alright, you do the thing that other people do where you're like I feel like I'll send it to you, man.
I mean, it's it's one of those things though where There's an in-between like totally said it's not just like It's not just cannonball off But what right like riding like riding a hog would be yeah, right? Which probably doesn't interest you all that much. I mean I Don't really I like choppers. Yeah, but I don't like Harleys you could get it doesn't necessarily need to be a Harley But you know like not moto but riding motorcycles like being one of those guys going up the pch So don't even go to the pch I mean either.
I think it's like I mean part time I ride with you first That's when you got friends right you got moto friends and they all go on a trip and maybe you have a tent Mm-hmm. You can't yeah, that sounds cool. There's that Michael. Well, look at that It's seriously it kind of made me sad today like I saw it I was like I don't remember what happened that weekend because I definitely got a bunch of coke and all the rest of it But right I that Jason that me is gone.
I mean like he'll never come back. Yeah, you're off of an eight ball in that photo Nice to travel the world doing this right, you know, it's like it's gone. It's gone forever I mean that it's such a that was never there for a lot of people But that's a cool way to look at it certainly it's better to know I'm me now right over and I'm living in these overshoes You gotta wait I'm gonna step up yesterday Yeah, okay, no real talk because I do think there's something to be said for the motorcycle trip with the friends You'd be better off frankly if you could get into the right sober group Yeah, like I know a guy who's like a I don't know a friend of a friend It's like a super high level sober companion like you name the rock star and at some point in time He like live with that guy in tour with that guy for six months and they'll still have like informal meetings Well, I'm in New York Well, I don't want any names but that guy's in town and then you could just drop by this guy's house He's playing poker with like, you know rock and roll Hall of Famers like those guys go on motorcycle trips Cuz that's the thing that rock and roll guys do when they're 55 years old and they had to get sober But if you could figure out a get in a group like that that would probably suit you but more practically No, I've got it for you. You want to be more cowboy more country more nature Yeah, so like what's the other cowboy shit?
You like go a little bit further in from oh high where you've already got like a home base and some roots and now you're butchering Animals, I don't know what other guys do but you just do more like bush shit. I mean oh hi coaching boxing and fighting is pretty dope Nobody will hire me. Yeah, but that just takes me. I do like training people But right now I train at exponents stuff for free you should go to boxing gyms and tell everybody I Want to watch me beat up your boxing instructor That's a mention when I meet the wrong boxing trainer For until it goes awry it says really cool The Cowboys yeah, I can't buy a bike they cost money no I know I do have a horse that I got for free all I have to do is feed him That's cheap, so I don't know if he'd want to go on a long ride.
He's pretty old and You can go off and I don't know what you outdoorsy people do you can go off an attempt for the weekend by the river Yeah, catch a fish and clean it and sprinkle salt and pretend that's not bad idea. My chicks got a truck Yeah, you're like camping you could be like an extreme camper. You know I can't but you could start bringing less stuff, you know All of a sudden you got a hunk for food like Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you could just show I gotta raise a Wait, what are you doing to figure out? Because you're gonna get hungry pretty soon one week in the bush one razor blade just diving in head first into a pond Look at the slash efficient up you could definitely vlog it too Right you could do video blogs and and share that stuff and that'd be a whole tick-tock.
Well, chia species act cut you Call it duty in the weekdays and then in the weekends survival vlog my survival. Yeah outdoor boys you ever heard of that dude No, but he sounds cool. He is sick dude. He's up in Canada like super deep in like the tundra Yeah, he just goes out and camps with his like kid And he'll like get into gnarly shit like bears trying to attack him like wolves trying to attack this month this guy right here Look at this dude.
He's a gangster That's cool. I would definitely like to like he just goes out there He'll be like he'll be out in the sticks for like a week and he makes a bunch like how many subscribers does this dude? That's like saying I should get into comedy because there's 11 million subscribers, but he's him right yeah, but he likes it Okay, well, maybe we don't need to make millions of dollars. Yeah, you could like it We've got something to build on just there's something there though.
Yeah, and hey, and hey, and campin campin doesn't sound like a crazy thing to do There you go also hunting you're like in America. You can shoot stuff right. I need a license I want some places. Yeah for sure like I got a Google where I can go Yeah, I mean you'll have to leave the valley you guys have yeah You guys have like they're all uh, what is it when you have the wilderness?
It's like oh ranges and stuff. Yeah something straight. You go in the bush. You fucking shit in the one somebody around It's okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. You know, I'd be like a bunch of dickheads hiking or something Oh, you do a little bit of homework. I'm sure it's not that hard. Yeah, you know, I don't need to be at there I don't want to dickheads.
I get it. I get it. I'm sure there's within high kids man. Yeah, you know what I hate hikers Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like chicken's like this swimming place It's only 2.5 miles high and I'm like and it's barely anyone there and I'm like this but there is people there Uh-huh the reason they hiked into it like they're fucking What a pack on their back for dickheads the reason I hate hi hi pants I hate that shit I hate hiking too because like the reason you would hike versus just running a track or something So you can look around but I'm too scared of rolling my ankles.
Yeah, so all of a sudden It's two and a half hours of me just staring at dirt. I didn't even get to see shit. No, that's not you That's not a that's not a common. It's a multitasking Speaking of multitasking can my old speak at the same time He's listening to myself.
Yeah, we've got this app that we have used to be a fixture on the show many moons ago The speech jammer and we realized that miles is pretty much the perfect guy to give this a go It wouldn't surprise me if he just talks flawlessly with it on it could be like the two negatives that make positive his brain and the speech jammer Yeah, so let's give it a shot. I pulled it up. You know, it is adjustable I put it where I think it'll work so all you do miles is you plug your You plug that in and then you were not kidding You were not exaggerating that those earbuds do appear to be covered with PC What do you need to do? How do you play call it?
Sorry, but do I need to buy like an Xbox or something? Yeah, but you can get one for cheap for sure. Is it an Xbox or is it a yeah? Either one or PlayStation.
I got one of those goog the goggle things. What is that? Goog go glass. You have virtual reality like It's VR you have a VR headset.
Yeah, it's a Google class. I play card with my virtual headset Let's kill myself. Yeah at cod god 69 I'll be kicking ass though. You can literally go in a virtual bars and get in a virtual bar I said it's PlayStation gotcha.
Can you hit can you hit the button to make it? Yeah? Okay, wait. Yes, my oh god What's the matter?
I'm starting to understand why this is difficult. Why is it difficult? This is repeating everything to me. Oh, I knew it.
He's gonna say I'm fine Yeah, is this like when you're on the phone and you can hear your yeah, it is okay, all right? So what do you want me to talk about miles? Can you recite the pledge of allegiance? Have you just didn't like any?
You're right. Yeah, it's what it's oh a happy hippo hopped in hiccup. Whoa see I knew it was gonna help him. I'm nice with it Is it still working a big black bug bit a big black bear?
We can adjust the he's blocking it miles don't use the force. Oh Let's try this Okay, I'm gonna try sending you some very small and effective pickup lines. Yeah You want me to say in an Australian accent? Yeah Oh, no, this is yeah Are you a magnet because you're doing a great job in attracting me See he It's he's beating it.
Yeah Do you now had a stop drop in rule because baby you're on fire He's good at it. Oh god damn it. I knew it Just move on to I'm winning a game on the show typical statements that Australians use in everyday life He's got kangaroos loose in the top panic That's him by the time I'm telling that I am for as goog what full as a goog. You know when you guys say that I Missed for these goog Nobody says that he's eating a lot.
That's a good a goog. I don't know. That's what's a what's a malle bowl? Yeah, I've heard that and I know I don't know what it is either Stop stop running through your head.
I am I am at four as a malle ball God damn it. He could say it all can do it All right, you win you win this round my own school. I am a nice a kutchnik. Oh my god That's a what I am a nice a kutchnik Man's a cut snake.
Yeah, I am mad as a kutchnik You say snake Snoy, it's like ah there it is That's like when you cut a snake and they're mad. I mean I don't blame them. I think so. Yeah that pisses them off I've never heard that though mad as a cut snake yeah Is an informal term for an egg in australian.
Oh yeah googie egg. There you go googie Yeah, I am for is a googie egg That works and finally where's this might actually be over in New Zealand around maybe some Florida doesn't really matter This couple got into a dispute with the car dealer. Yeah, I bet So this couple they bought a car and I think it was effectively a lemon and so they wanted to bring the car back and the Cardular was sort of like well I'm not gonna give you the money back and they worked it out to wear like an insurance company effectively the dealer was Paid back for the car and he just needed to pass that money on oh on to them and for reasons that are unclear He was like I will be damned if I give you your money back I'm gonna shit in your car Yeah, and he not only refused to give them the refund to which they were entitled he literally took Shits in the car Wait there's a photo of the man that pooed in the car. Yeah, yeah, he takes because I was like how many shit is that?
But now I see a photo of the guy I'm like now that's one. Yeah, I'm gonna be one session. Yeah, yeah I can drop some logs. He's just like a horse.
Yeah, that's not he stood up on the same Yeah, you see how he didn't he didn't miss an inch not he put his back on the headrest and shit down there What is that so blurred? Well, you go to their house and do an upper deck or two. That's a toy land Why is there okay? So we put toilet paper on the toilet seat and then Do it on top of the toilet and shit under the toilet.
Yeah, I think he was just it just sounds like a logistical nightmare I think he just wanted to really hammer the point of fuck you So one is a picture of his shit in the car and then he sent that photo to go. This one is just shit He said a picture of shit. Yeah, that's what that's what that is just what he wanted to know like this is poops were identical This is what I think of you, you know like here's my poop You're supposed to see that no shit in your car. It was me you can tell by the poop picture like they cut down a part of the story You know because I know be that angry when you just want to get your car back I mean you had a lemon right Michael did they shit in your car?
No, they also crashed the car Right, so they didn't have much of a leg to stand up. Yeah, if someone pooped in my let's all right He sent them those photos and said please see attached paid in full have a fantastic great day I split into payment parts and sent the two different photos of the shit nice I mean pardon me wants to kill that guy, but the other part is like I now have photographic proof that you shit in my car Mm-hmm. I know that that's a good you go to court. You're you're looking good, right?
Yes, absolutely positive You're not looking bad. Is he he's getting away with that? He has to have lost his mind. No, there's no posses even if you were in the right and you did this you would make yourself retroactively in the Wrong, yeah, you become wrong anytime you mail people photos of shit Or someone's caught take it from a guy who knows normal anger issue people.
They're usually like I'm gonna kill you This guy was like look at this photo of all these dukies I left in your car and this upper decker. I just took him house They never got to drive the hybrid Nissan skyline as a fault was discovered with the vehicle before it could be shipped Yeah, the fault was it was a Nissan skyline after nearly a month The car still hadn't arrived and they applied three times to reject the car and get a refund And eventually the motor vehicles disputes tribunal, which I think this is over. She's Approved a fifteen thousand dollar refund Autofleet capital limited told them yes, we have refunded him the fifteen thousand dollars He just needs to give it to you and that was when he mailed them the picture of the shit Essentially, he just pocketed the funds that were meant to be refunded according to the ruling from the motor vehicles disputes tribunal Yeah, he claimed that he was out of the country that he had IT issues And that he was looking into putting his company into liquidation. I think he spent I'm just I think he needed the money to put his Robin Peter to pay Paul I'm confused what the secondary upper decker photo serves in this.
I think also is that on his house dealership you guys look at my shit, that's a pal move I think I think you're overthinking it if you try to imagine anything more than yeah, it was it was I took a shit in your car or a car and I will upper decker and here's more shit. Yeah He just thought it was funny to say here's your payment in two parts. So he's a second photo Yeah, he's a thinking yeah crazy person. I think it's really cool that they blood out his wife.
Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't deserve that No, she also doesn't deserve him, but man. I wonder what hair her head looks like to be married to that What do you think? He doesn't like a little coke.
Well, he looks like Matthew Perry had survived another ten years. Wow Hosh yeah, he's definitely suffering in the chin department the chin is I think he's got a bounty of chin that chins about to explode Frogs out That's the thing at least as a guy you have that out or cut your face He's guys that don't know beard Your face on he's guys that don't grow beards. I don't get it women don't you have a halfway out. Yeah, you see that photo We didn't have oh, yeah, what'd you find her chin department's free?
All right. Oh wow, it's a chin off In his defense are we sure it wasn't just a photo of her sitting in the car their kids It's a Kids chins must be out of hand The chins have eyes No wonder he's pissed off. He's just surrounded by a bunch of big-ass chins. I mean, it's not it's like chinless I don't know look at each other on you know, I'll be I do See doesn't love see wait wait wait wait wait.
Can you go back up right what you're just about to click on somebody said Looking at a reddit here. Oh my god. I straightaway thought of that car dealer poop story from a month ago Is there another car dealer? No, did he keep pooping multiple?
Oh, yeah? I see the real thing is this the real thing. Wait, this action shot of him actually shitting our Go or there might be emails. I want to own me the poop.
Yeah You go Here's a better dialogue keep going keep going keep going come on dude. Show me the poop. No Whoa dude, that looks like multiple angles of the same poop. That's nuclear Oh boy, yeah, he's got a No, I'm just trying to curse out of talent.
I don't know what fun Like so this guy he knows he's about to miss the ball. Why is it his thing to almost hit that text? Well, I put the toilet paper there because he knew he was gonna miss it So now he takes the photo and then he cleans it all off like it didn't happen He was like, you know that you're intentionally missing this one's gonna be rough I gotta put down some ground rules intentionally missing the bowl You could be doing it anywhere you think he likes putting it near the toilet so he can get the picture of the actual turd without it being In water how much she's gonna take a photo before it goes in the bowl and he's an artist he wants like the brain splatter Maybe I could do poo out to you can you man? He's like a thousand of these on his phone.
Oh, yeah, this is this obvious It's not his first time before it's not his first time He jokes up with you in that article was that it was just a staff prank that he was trying to prank it between the staff and accidentally I'd be pissed about working with that guy and he was looking at me all day with his weird face and then he sent me Photos of his nuclear diary. I would have to quit that excuse. He had was a pretty shitty element. It was a prank miles Where you're in your closet You and I you're just a well champion congratulations on that and then of course you have a skate shop Yes, I have a skate shop.
So posy. It's on The corner North Robertson and Melrose 509 North Robert and Colivard Robertson Boulevard. Yep, and there's a clothing line. We're dropping the website next week So posy calm come by and check us out.
Yeah, you can order stuff. You can also come hang out whatever you want to do Most people probably can't come hang out on Robertson. Yeah, probably more you might have to order some shit That's why I said it We'll put the actual URL in the description It'll be great very peaceful and if you want to hear more of miles Oh, yeah, subscribe to the patreon on the end Jason I'll be playing Call of Duty and eating chipotle and pooping our brains out and then making out out of the Sitting at 12 in That's not a bad game plan. All right, everybody.
See you later patreon.com slash ultimate don't die