Military matters

"Suppose you've spend the entirety of your working life pushing paper in an office and concocting ways of winning elections - then the heavy wooden door of Number 10 finally swings closed and....in the back garden, a couple of strapping fellows are parading up and down the lawn with Heckler & Koch machine guns around their necks, their mission: to stop the baddies scything you down". Will Self asks what can drive political leaders into the arms of the military. From the era of Margaret Thatcher on, he says, "a key aspect of the premiership seems to have become posing with tough, tough boys and their tough, tough toys". In Will Self's view, this close relationship between politicians and the military helps no-one. His solution - to bring back National Service. "The cry", he writes, "beloved of the ramrod-straight and the crew-cut is joined by me with all my bohemian heart". And he says he would be first in line! Producer: Adele Armstrong.