I am now three, two, one. Mini-me, mini-me, baby. Welcome to a mini-inter-episode of the Kingme program. No.
Why are we here? I'm Robbie. Oh, I guess I can't be, I guess I'll have to be me. Dang, gag, we already.
I gotta be me. Yeah. What do we do in here, Dan? Well, after long last, at long last.
Some might say this is 20 years in the making. A dark tower trailer has been released. Yeah, this is kind of huge, isn't it? If you're a Stephen King fan, yes it is.
If you're a Stephen King fan, this is big news. But also, this movie has been in the works for at least 10 years that I know about. Usually, I think when things have been kicked around this long, they're just dropped, right? You just give up on something, right?
Yeah, but we're on a King upswing, so we're getting at least one of these things. The dark tower starring Idris Elba, Maddie McConaughey, directed by that one guy, or he wrote it. Did he direct it or write it? That guy, dude.
Akiva Goldsman wrote it. He's one of the writers. Schlock Pedler, Akiva Goldsmith. Goldsmith?
I don't know. Goldsman, my bet. He's been responsible for some real abominations. But it's directed by Nikolai Arcell, or Nikolaj, I don't know.
But he directed Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and a bunch of European stuff. He directed the Danish one, right? The Danish girl? The Danish versions of Girl With The Dragon Tattoo?
That could be. That could be. So yeah. I believe this is the case.
Yeah, Akiva Goldsmith has a writing credit. There are other writers, of course. Adapted from the book series, bye. Stevie King, which we won't talk about.
But I will say this. Some differences from the book, right off the bat. I won't say what they are, but I'm gonna. One, they're in the book.
There is a jive talkin' black lady in a wheelchair. She has been cut from the movie. That's too bad. She has no legs.
That's the other thing I forgot to mention. You said she was in a wheelchair though. Yeah, right, so it's no big deal. She's not in this, and that's fine.
That's a character. I demand accuracy. Also different. Apparently, these movies are not following the book.
They're kind of picking up where the books end. Is what I've heard. What? Yeah, but I think the way I haven't finished the series.
I think the way the book ends is kind of at the beginning. He goes through the door and it takes him to the beginning of the journey. Not a lot of a bitch. The way the first one starts.
So, what do we know? Our main character. That's fucking infuriating though, isn't it? What, that it ends that way?
Yeah, probably. I haven't gone there. How many of them? I think seven.
I think there's six or seven. There's seven books. I've read, I think there's actually eight books. And then the most recent one takes place between two of the other ones.
Yeah, that's true. It's like that periodic table. That off-shoot section. It's like a rogue one.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so Idris Elba plays our title character Roland Deshaen, the Gun Slinger. Matthew McConaughey plays the man in black who is, he's like sort of a bunch of Stephen King villains.
He is Randall Flack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Randall Flack. He goes by many names, one of which is Randall Flack.
He is, because there's him and there's also the Crimson King. Okay. What's he from? He's from, I think he has to do with the virus in the stand.
I think he's affiliated with that somehow. I thought that was Randall Flack. Maybe that is Randall Flack. Maybe I'm getting confused.
This is why we don't talk about the books. But what I'm seeing in this trailer, it looks like there are elements from a few of the books kind of piled into this movie. So there's a scene where young Jake Chambers are little hero. Chris Chambers, you mean?
No, I don't. No, I mean Jake. Okay. Where?
He's created a real low down there. He's being carried away by, oh shit, Susan Delgado is a character in this. Susan Delgado is Roland's love interest from before his world was destroyed. Oh.
It's been so long since I read these. But anyway, Jake Chambers is being carried away by what appears to be a Marauder. And in the books, they are, they're in a city when that happens instead of what appears to be like a carnival. But those guys are all child molesters.
They keep referring to him as a tender, like a nice young color. Maybe the word tender gets there. But it's real, real upsetting. Nothing happens.
That's in the, that's in the one with the train. The riddle train. No riddle trains in this. What did you think of this trailer as someone who hasn't read the books?
I'm totally lost. It looks fine. That's how I feel. It's like just fine.
Yeah. There's nothing about it that gets me like super excited. Yeah. I like Matthew McConan.
You know, I like it yourself. I'll say this. Yeah. I get very excited when he catches the bullets for his gun as they're falling through the air and lands them in the chamber.
Yeah. That was pretty cool. Jake Chambers even. When he's got the barrel of his gun.
He flicks all the, he spins the barrel and just like tosses the bullets in. That's pretty cool. Like Sunflower Sea. Yeah.
All of his like little, like, gun tricks. Those are real cool. And when he can carry a movie on that. You certainly can.
Like, and the, the line that, at the end of it. Like the gunslinger's creed. Yeah. He doesn't fill with his gun.
He can carry a lot of time with my eye. I am with my mind. He who aims with his mind is forgotten the face of his father. Right.
And the face of your father is the all state guy. It is. It is. It is the all state guy.
Yeah. There are also a couple little Easter eggs. Does that have? Yes.
That is the all state guy. Yeah. They don't have his character name. What's it?
They don't. Weird. Because it's not like they don't reveal who he is in the trailer. Yeah.
Yeah. There's a picture of the Overlook Hotel in Jake Chambers' therapist's office. I don't know if you caught that. I did.
Yeah. So if you don't know what this movie is, if you don't know anything about the Dark Tower, basically it is the Unifying King theory. Like everything the Dark Tower is a nexus point that connects different worlds. There are also doorways that you can go through to get to different worlds.
Okay. Wait, wait, wait. So have you seen Wreck It Ralph? Yeah.
You can get to Wreck It Ralph through the Dark Tower. Yeah. Yeah. You know how Wreck It Ralph is the game and then when they take a break or whatever, all the games, they reconvene in the center.
Yes. That's the Dark Tower. That's the Dark Tower. That's okay.
Yeah. Got it. Go on. Yeah.
If you don't think you're going to watch Idris Elba shoot Wreck It Ralph between the eyes. Yeah. Go. Oh, oh crap.
Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, geez. Yeah.
Yeah. Got me right between the eye. I'm going to wreck it. Yeah.
So that's what the Dark Tower is. It connects different worlds. So this, the realm, the land where the Dark Tower is, is that the nexus point or is the tower itself? The tower is the nexus.
Okay. So this is, this land where Roland is from is another dimension, another world, another universe. I think it's, it's Earth, but in a different like Earth two or something. Yeah, it's an Earth two sort of thing.
Okay. It's definitely like the same physical space as regular Earth, even though that's what confused me because there's like multiple moons on his world. Yeah. But it is Earth.
Like that's, I think, pretty clear because like there are commonalities within like things in one world will sort of appear in another world. Yeah. Like, yeah, I don't know. We've talked about it a little bit in the past when characters have come up, but I know one of them was the priest from Salem's Lot is in the wolves of the kala, I want to say.
Okay. Yeah. It's what it's yeah, but he shows up in this world. Okay.
Yeah. He, I don't know. As somebody who's not, who has not read any of the dark tower books, I'm totally lost on how they can be intersecting like this and sort of like, I mean, like, well, the reason that the priest shows up is because as you'll recall, yeah, he is made to drink vampire blood, which curses into a half life. And I think effectively like sends him out of that world to like a different realm.
I think there's some of that. Again, it's been years since I've read these books, but like, I think that's like the mechanism of it is just like, yeah. So there's, it's, that's what I'm concerned about is there are a lot of things happening in the books. Yeah.
And I don't know how you, how you do it in a movie? How you tie it together? Yeah. You got a condense.
Yeah. You have to condense is in the books. Does any of this stuff take place on Earth? Yeah.
It does. Like they are like how they're in Times Square in trailer. Yeah. He runs out of ammo.
So they have to go. That's why he's like, you're gonna like, you're gonna like Earth. Okay. Cause he runs out of ammo and he needs more bullets.
So they go to find them and there's like a shoot out with a bunch of gangsters. That's actually a very cool scene. Okay. Yeah.
And I think you kind of see it in the trailer. You see like a bunch of guys with Uzi's for like a half a second. Okay. All right.
All right. I think they're gonna try to fit too much into this movie. Yeah. Unless they don't like, I don't know.
There's, you're gonna have, they're, they're gonna have to condense things. Probably condense characters. Yeah. I mean, they certainly got rid of one of the- It's probably gonna be two and a half hours long.
There's a thing in the first book, I want to say, that I kind of really hope they keep even though it's stupid. It's not the jive-docking black woman. No. Okay.
No child. It's, at one point they're like near a beach and these giant lobsters attack them. And the narrator refers to them as the lobstracities. And I just kind of want that to happen because they eat a bad guy.
That's- And I like that. I like when bad guys get gobbled up. Yeah. That's fun.
Yeah. That's so, it is weird. See, okay. I was always under the impression that the Dark Tower books took place entirely in this other Dark Tower world.
No. So when I saw this- No. Because Jake is from New York. I didn't even know Jake had a person.
Yeah. Okay. So when I saw this trailer, I was very confused and I was like, I didn't, because I don't know anything about this. Like, why are they here?
What is this kid? Like, is, I didn't know if the kid was actually in the books or if this was some sort of like audience surrogate. So all the, everybody could, who hasn't been there? Yeah, because you do have to explain everything to a child.
Yeah. Yeah. And then he's like, no, he's sort of like Roland's protege. Mm-hmm.
All right. No. I mean- Oh, you know who else doesn't appear to be in this? God bless us.
He's not on the IMDB page. I don't think there's another character in like their little gang. So there's Susanna, who's the Black Lady in the wheelchair. And then there's Eddie Dean, who's like the wise Kraken character.
Who is it? I might have mentioned him. Yeah. Like many, many episodes ago.
Because he's the one who defeats the train that loves riddles by telling it jokes instead of riddles. The train can't comprehend it. Yeah. And they're like such Stephen King jokes.
And it's very good. So yeah, I'm very cautiously, not even optimistic. I'm just very wary of this. Yeah.
We saw the trailer for it a few weeks ago. Yes. And in real time, you heard me get very, very excited about it. That's true.
This less so. Yeah. I mean, I should have just recorded it on my phone in real time. Yeah.
Just so you could have heard me go, oh. Yeah. Okay. I don't know.
It seems a bit like a lacklustre or something. Yeah. It just seems like it's going to be another one of these movies. It's sort of like the maze runner to the Hunger Games's Hunger Games.
Yeah. Yeah. Right. It does have that kind of vibe to it.
Like I know that Matthew McConaughey is the man of black. I know he's the bad guy. But there's nothing in this trailer that shows me that he's particularly bad. Also I feel like, I don't know, not even just because of like, I don't know, the man in black in the books has like a much more sort of animated vibe to him.
Like he's a bit like, he's like, he's, he always struck me as he's smiling evilly. All the time. Okay. Like Randall Fleck.
Yeah. Like I, that's kind of the vibe I was expecting because I think that's why you get Matthew McConaughey to do it. Right. Because he can like do that sort of like, I know he's been stoned serious for the past five years, but I seriously stoned.
I want to seriously stoned. I think. Yeah. No, I just thought he was going to be a little more playful and maybe they didn't show that in the trailer because it would be like inconsistent with the very serious tone of everything else.
But all of that worries me because like, the books are, they're really comic booky, I guess. Like, there's a lot of sort of silly business. It's happening. There are lobstrosities.
There's a train that loves riddles. Yeah. I mean, like you saying lobstrosities makes me want to go into these books. Yeah.
I think the gunslinger is a really fun book. It got me to keep reading them. So. But yeah, I'm worried that it's going to be like too gritty.
It's going to, you know, like Zack Snyder. Yeah. It just looks kind of lackluster, which is very disappointing. Yeah.
I think someone in the comments of the link we posted to the trailer put it best when they said yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I don't know. The week comes. It's still early on. This is only the first trailer we've seen.
And I'm sure there's going to be something, you know, we'll see more from this. You know, I have to watch it. Yeah. We're going to have to watch it.
Like, look into this trailer. We're getting, you know, on its case a little bit. I'll fly back to New Jersey to watch it. All right.
And go see it. Yeah. Cool. We should go to the premiere in Los Angeles.
Okay. I'm not going to do that. Oh, maybe New York. Okay.
You might have a premiere in New York. Oh, because it's that New York. It's not squat. Times Square.
By those big stows. And all of the Olafs will be there. So many Olafs and Times Square. Yeah.
I don't know. I have nothing really to say about it because it doesn't really. Yeah. Yeah.
Our comment, our comment's already on this is, man, we'll see. Oh, fine. And that, I mean, that technically was a mini-sewed. How long was that?
That was about 17 minutes. That's fine. That's more than, yeah, no, that's longer. That's the longest long we've done so far.
Well, great. I do want to say, yeah, thank you for your listening. Yeah. I want to say you can always write a review as a 19.
I want to say, I love you. Guys, patreon. Oh, yeah, give us your money. I mean, they'll do it for me.
I have nothing more to say. I'm done. Okay. So until next time, I'm Daggleery.
I'm Rob Avon. Bye. Stephen King.