Misguided: The Soundtrack To My Life

Chapter Eight – Revolutionary SexMusic featured in this chapter:Sexual Revolution – Macy GrayThis chapter of my memoir opens with my arrival in Hawaii after fleeing what I believed was the imminent destruction of the United States. A couple months later I left for Japan. After describing my first few months in Japan, I stop that narrative just before describing my first sexual experience, which happened in Tokyo, in order to discuss the cult’s sexual doctrines and my own sexual education before I “joined” the cult.Before I joined the Children of God I was quite awkward around girls. I didn’t have female friendships and was too shy to talk to girls I was attracted to, so I never danced at school dances, dated, or had a girlfriend. One time my high school friend Dave set up a blind date for me with his girlfriend’s friend. He didn’t tell me, though, so I wasn’t expecting them when they showed up at his place. Soon after they arrived, Dave and his girlfriend disappeared to his room. I was extremely uncomfortable in that situation, alone with a girl I didn’t know and wasn’t attracted to. Embarrassed, unsure how to act or what to say, I panicked and ran out the door without a word.Soon after that I joined the Children of God, so never developed the social-emotional skills that teens and young adults typically learn through dating rituals. Members were forbidden to date or have any sexual contact of any kind outside of marriage, which required a leader’s approval. However, unknown to all but his inner circle, Berg had been living a sexually permissive lifestyle secretly behind the scenes, while imposing those strict rules on most of his followers.Berg eventually began to relax those rules by publishing his boundary-breaking beliefs on sexuality in a series of letters. He began grooming his followers to accept his unorthodox sexual doctrines in “Revolutionary Sex”,i in which he emphasizes the godly naturalness of nudity, masturbation and sexuality in general, and criticizes religious dogma that sees sex as shameful. Some passages foreshadow later letters that opened the door to almost every kind of sexual activity.Sexual Revolution – Macy GrayEverybody shake it time to be free amongst yourselves your mama told you to be discreet and keep your freak to yourself but your mama lied to you all this time she knows as well as you and I you’ve got to express what is taboo in you and share your freak with the rest of us cause it’s a beautiful thang this is my sexual revolution Everybody break it Every rule every constriction My papa told me to be home by now But my party has just begun Maybe he’ll understand that I got to be To be the freak that God made me So many things that I want to try Got to do them before I dieI discuss in detail my own inadequate sex education both at home and at school prior to the cult. I also thoroughly document David Berg’s sexual grooming of his followers over several years through a series of publications that gradually removed almost all sexual boundaries and taboos. I have also summarized those sexual doctrines in an academic journal article, David Berg’s Perversion of Biblical Bridal Theology in the Children of God/The Family, published March 14, 2025 in the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) journal International Journal of Coercion, Abuse and Manipulation, Vol 8, 2025, which you can read here:i David Berg, “Revolutionary Sex”, March 27, 1973 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit perrybulwer344598.substack.com