Hello and welcome to the gifted LifePod Chats where we have conversations about organ tissue and eye donation. I'm Joey Boudreau. I'm Sally Gentry. And this Sally is episode 78.
Wow. And March is National Kidney Month. And in this episode we'll be talking to Miss Indiana USA, whose mom is waiting on a kidney. And Joey, in this episode we're going to talk about mental health issues again and this time it's going to be about people who have control issues.
Controlling. Yes. And then of course as always we'll be honoring a hero. And we'll answer a listener's question.
If you've got a podcast app, certainly you can find us on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, or whatever your favorite podcast app might be. And you can like us on Facebook. I donate Life Louisiana page. Or you can follow us both on Twitter and Instagram at donatelifele.
And you can always call us at number 504648347. We do want to hear from you. Alright Sally, we got a big show so let's get started. Alrighty, let's do.
On this episode of the gifted Life we have a very special guest. Her name is Darien Arch. She's Miss Indiana USA. Her mom is also waiting on a kidney.
And so it's our pleasure to be able to welcome her to the show. Hey Darien. Everything that you do is bold, enterprising, and gregarious. You're a senior majoring in biology at Bethel.
Plan to following your father's footsteps and working in healthcare, which I of course am excited about. Very much a proponent for organ donation. You've been volunteering for a National Kidney Foundation which we speak about quite often here. You are previously a Miss Indiana teen USA title holder.
So obviously you are no stranger to having a crown. And plan on putting your platform to good use which is raising awareness about healthcare issues and especially with organ donation. I've also heard in your spare time you like drag racing and ride in a motorcycle. It's kind of crazy.
It's true. So can you tell us a little bit about your journey and what got you started, what got you interested in partnering up with Indiana donor network? Yes. So when my mom was diagnosed with renal failure and at the time I was a junior in high school, I didn't know much about organ donation but when I had our family that's when I kind of just really dove into any research I had.
And so throughout those six years it just evolved into something bigger. I ended up creating my own website called feelbetterhealth.com which focuses on organ donation and facts and helping kidney recipes specifically for renal patients. And then when I became a Indiana USA I knew that it was a great opportunity to use that and team up with an organization. So I chose Indiana donor network.
And from there everything has just elevated to a whole new level. I'm so happy because it's like six years of work I put in and I finally reached this prime spot to promote organ donation and what I feel and believe and want to get out there. And this being National Kidney Awareness Month, perfect that we have this and have you on. Can you tell us a little bit about your mom's journey?
It really came out of nowhere. It was a cutely diagnosed. My mother had never had any health issues. She was for a few months prior to be diagnosed.
I really had blood pressure, constant headaches. And then all of a sudden she went in that day, they put her on emergency dialysis. It was just a whirlwind all in one day. And of course she was scared.
She didn't really know what to do. This was all new. Now she's gone through both parrotinial and hemodialysis. She is back at the center doing dialysis three times a week.
And she finds joy in it. She's a very happy person. She's just really upbeat. But you know at the end of the day that is not what she wants to do.
She does not want to be on dialysis. And for your weight and all you can do is just continue to promote this message and hopefully find either a donor or a living donor. And then we saw a piece with you and your mom and what a beautiful mom and daughter. But she seemed like such a great person, great role model.
A lot of people think, well, you're on dialysis. So at least it gives you some extended time. But people on the outside don't truly understand what it's like being a family member of someone who's on dialysis or obviously in your mom's position. Can you tell us a little bit about that in itself?
Yeah. So I definitely remember when I was younger and she was giving a pair of to me about this at home, we would have just a ton of dialysis bags that she would use. And she would have to be hooked up at night for at least eight hours. And not only just watching her do that and having to sleep uncomfortably and do this at home, but anytime that we wanted to travel or go on a family vacation, we either couldn't go or we would have to load up a car with tons of dialysis equipment.
And even now that she's back at the center, you know, it's hard to find just being able to enjoy time with the family or being able to just get up and go somewhere and not have to worry about dialysis would be great. But that's not a reality for us. And so anyone looking on the inside, it does it really just hampers everything that you get up and do every day in normal life when you are on dialysis. Yes, it does help people on for a little bit longer, but it's no way to live and it's definitely not enjoyable.
So is she on the waiting list, the national waiting list at this time? Yes, she currently has. And she has been for almost four years coming up now. Wow.
That's that's got to be a difficult, anxious, you know, it's got to be a lot of emotions when you're constantly waiting for that call. Yes. You know, people are that so how do you do it? How do you handle what you think the week's going?
I don't know whether it's so long. Maybe, you know, everything happens for a reason. I have to keep trusting and believing in that and just know that something will eventually happen and that's all you can do is just wait and hope because if you sit and get depressed about it or get down about it, it's not going to help you around the train. Did she talk with other potential folks that are waiting?
Yes. So throughout my time with the Indiana Dora Network, we have been looking into winning donation. Oh, okay. So if you want to ask, well, she currently on the IU waiting list and the reason because she can go and get her tested on at home locally every week, she's not on the same sentence and how to think that she would have to travel down Indianapolis.
And that's almost a three hour drive every week, which she just can't do. She currently is on one waiting list and we're looking at the donation. So it's tough. It's a long time I work on the clinical side on the chief clinical officer and I see how long these waiting lists are and how many factors that they are that go into it.
A lot of people think, well, you know, you should just be able to match up, you know, if it's a certain blood type with a blood type, but with all the different factors, you know, with, it's got to be the same blood type, similar, like weight. And of course, there's a lot of different antigen matching that goes into it with such an extensive waiting period has either Indiana Dora Network or maybe National Kidney Foundation found any help or support groups for you guys. Yeah. So the Indiana Dora Network has been amazing at developing and connecting up with the support groups as well as her dialysis center.
They have been just working hard for her. Her doctor has her social worker has. So it's really all coming together now partnering with Indiana Dora Network, being able to have access to that information and getting connected with people, but if they help. What are some of the ways that you guys and you in particular have promoted awareness for kidney foundation and kidney donation?
I do a lot through social media. My official account by the number one way, which I have found extremely useful is really diving into the high school population. There are so many people who are about ready to get their license, who are just signing up to get their license and it's a perfect opportunity to educate them because they're going to go to the license branch. They're going to be asked and you need to be educated beforehand.
So just getting that out, going to high school, helping students talk to their parents about making that decision is just a great audience to have. And to be able to educate people and what will help and how they can become donors, I think it's just instrumental in what you're doing also. Yeah. So I do have a question for you.
I know that you're planning on attending medical school and want to become a general practitioner and you're talking about a medical spa. So tell me a little bit more about that goal. So my quick path couple of years, so I haven't got it out of the internet yet. Okay.
Just throughout my entire career. So I was a mortuary intern back in high school. I got to do a lot of them. I got to proceed in autopsy and view those and being the official can never take action and turn out with Apple College.
I've been around the human anatomy and I have a love for organization. So I'm really leaning towards the surgical and transplant surgeon right now. I found that nature. I found that calling and that is where I want to go.
I told you plan to open up a medical spa alongside with that. But I know this is the way I can carry my platform and my passion for it throughout life. That's excellent. You know, people are always so conscious about organization and should I do it, it's the right option for me because they don't have a live in a world where this is your life.
This is what is going to save your life. And you know, with my mom being my everything right now, I have to remind people that you are getting a good thing. And we've very and cremate so many organs every year that can be used. I've seen it firsthand.
I've done it firsthand. And it's just so important to just really sit down and think of a bigger picture and really address all of your concerns that you can make that conscious decision. We definitely thank you for putting this as a platform. But before we go, I have to ask.
Tell me about the drag racing. I feel like I'm just coming out. Yeah, when I was a young girl with my dad, he was always in the car, he was always in the young girl. I was in sports.
I was a trombone boy, but I was in a sitting car. So I blew it off. I got my license and my dad introduced me to his love, I'd enjoy his Corvette. I got to take my dad and test it.
I fell in love and I got back in the garage and my dad and he started teaching me everything about cars, how to build them, what we were doing and racing, what engines we were putting in. And I caught onto it and I was helping my dad. And all of a sudden it grew. And I was putting my dad to my dad every weekend.
And we loved going, you know, we don't do a professional. We do a hobby, but we love trailing our cars down there. And we really trust. I'm just a lot of that.
And I was one way we got out of it. It's tough with me forever. And you know, cars, cars, my dad, I should have fallen every year about. So what's the fastest you've done?
So I'm my car, currently I have a GTR. So it is running a nine at 145. Wow. We're trying to get it quick.
I don't have the money right now to upgrade the turbo, but it'll eventually come. Would that be coming back? Yeah. I'm jealous.
The most I do with mine is change my oil and air filters and drive 70. Well, thank you so much, Darien. Again, for making donations such a passion. We are doing everything that we can to promote awareness.
And it's such a big help when platforms such as yours that's on such a big stage can help spread that news. Talk about the power of one, you know, one person making a difference. And you are certainly making that difference in donation. Thank you for coming on and sharing your story with us.
Thank you so much for having me. And definitely thank you so much for using your platform in such an impactful way. Where can we go to learn more about you and your story? Do you have any, you mentioned website?
Yes. So and from there you can connect to my whole social media world, my story. You can always, they have every update for me weekly daily. So I'm always up there and turn event wise because I know there.
In previous podcasts, we talked a little bit about mental health and some mental health issues. We decided that we would make it more of a consistent part of our podcast. There are so many people who themselves are experiencing or know someone who's experiencing mental health issues. And of course, we've got a mental health professional working with us on the show here in the Sally Gentry who's going to talk to us today about controlling behaviors.
Hey, Joey, how are you today? Great, Sal. Good. Well, for those of you that don't know me, I am a licensed professional counselor and board certified.
So I've got a number of years, approximately 30 that I've been doing mental health. So I have a little bit of experience in the field too. But today, you know, we all run across those folks who want to tell us what to do because they always know better than what we know. And then you ever notice, Joey, when you run across someone like that, you automatically, mmm, it's really just, oh, this really kind of gets to me.
Yeah, it does. Generally, you will see people that have a tendency to want to tell you what to do and how to behave. And this sort of advice as they think it is, but we find folks many times to be judgmental, critical, mean-spirited, finding fault, jealous. And we wonder where does that come from?
Why are we kind of getting the end of this? And you know, many times we don't stop and think about, okay, what's been going on for these folks that they feel the need to control us. Many times what we'll find is it's due to traumatic or abusive life experiences that they have going through. There's a lack of trust in other people.
They have a low damage, self-esteem. And I think the thing that I find that jumps out most to me from many individuals is they feel that they have to be perfect. And if they don't hit that perfect mark, even though none of us know what perfect truly is because there's just not some template out there that goes, okay, this is perfect. And if you live up to that, you will be a perfect individual.
So there's that fear of failure. Yeah. And I think the thing that I'm talking to that most of the time, and I'm talking from my own perspective, is that it's so much easier for me to control you than it is for me to control me. You ever find that?
Yeah. Yeah. And because when it comes down to, all right, how do I take care of myself? How do I be responsible for my actions, my thoughts, my behaviors?
And many times we do, we just go, well, Joey hadn't said that. I'd be a whole lot better off. But that's not really true unless you were really trying to make me feel bad, you know? So I think that one thing that we need to keep in mind when we run across folks who feel that need to try to control us is that we just recognize that it's a whole lot easier to control others than it is to control ourselves.
And sometimes you can kind of say that in a very diplomatic way. And then other times you just kind of have to let it go and realize this is what's going on for those individuals that want to be that way. Well, that was great information, Sally. If anyone's interested in finding out more, they can find it on lopa.org under the Family Services tab.
We have many resources, support resources, green support and other things. So you can certainly find us there. And if you've got any other topics that you want Sally to talk about, shoot us an email at info at lopa.org. We'd like to hear from you.
As in every episode of the Give the Life, we like to honor a hero. This little hero comes to us from Indiana. His name is Logan Vandercleed. Logan Vandercleed was an extraordinary, blonde haired, blue eyed, two year old boy who brought a smile and a sense of love to those around him.
His laugh came from his soul and warmed the hearts of those who heard it. Logan would freely give a heartfelt hug or fist bump to share his love. He was extremely entertaining, energetic and enjoyed playing with and teasing his older sister. Logan exemplified his great love for Christ through his love for others.
He enjoyed attending church, Sunday school and praying before meals and at bedtime. He loved Spider-Man watching blue tractor videos, listening to music, decorating his sticker book, wearing everyone else's shoes, climbing on everything without fear and then jumping into your arms, cuddling with his star blankie and dancing his super cute dance moves. He especially loved the outdoors and spending time on the family farm, riding on the tractor, excavator, skid steer and combine. Logan was on the farm when an accident occurred causing severe brain damage.
While we were praying for a miraculous recovery, Logan's brain continued to shut down. During that time we decided if we could not have our son here on earth with us, we would unselfishly try to help others. So that week we asked if Logan would be a candidate for organ and tissue donation if he did not recover. Then the Indiana donor network came in and explained the donation process to us.
We made the decision for Logan to be a donor and his tissues were donated after he passed away. There are no words to describe the pain of losing a child. Within six months of Logan's passing we received a heartfelt letter from the recipient family in Missouri. Lillian, their seven-month-old daughter, received Logan's heart valves and now has a chance at life.
While only God can carry us through the pain of losing our son, it is comforting to know that through Logan's death there is life. God has allowed us to see his healing hand at work and the positive impact Logan's life continues to have on others through donation. It is a decision we pray others would make and it is a decision we would make again in a heartbeat. If you'd like to know more about Logan's full story, check out the family's Love for Logan page on Facebook.
At this time we pause and say thank you to Logan for the gift of life. In our question and answer segment, this question sadly comes from Facebook. The question is and it's for you. If a family wanted to know or meet the person, their family members, organs went to, how would we go about that?
Well that's a great question and we get those questions like that many times as we're talking with different families and what we do is we recommend that you write a letter. Tell a little bit about your loved one, interest, hobbies, things they like to do, other family members, they had children, just whatever you might be comfortable sharing and let the person know that you're interested in having contact. You'd send it to us at LOPA and we'd be glad to forward it on to the Transplant Center because I don't know if many of you know this, that we do not have direct communication with recipients due to confidentiality but by you writing the letter and sending it over to the Transplant Center wherever it may be, that will certainly open up the door for communication at that point. If the recipient would like to have contact also, we will help facilitate that happening for you.
And if you would like to have more information about this, you can send us an email at family services at lopa.org or you can certainly give us a call at 1-800-521-4483 and ask for family services. Ooh, another episode coming in. Yes and we give our special thanks to Darian Arch, Miss Indiana, USA for sharing her story and also sharing the story about her mom who's on wedding lists for a kidney. What a great platform and clearly she's driven, you know, and she's going to certainly be that one and make a difference.
Yes. Thank you guys for listening. Don't forget, please register as an organ, eye and tissue donor. You can register anytime.
You don't even need to leave your house. Just use your computer or your smartphone, register me.org. Do something today that you wouldn't normally do to make life happen.