If you are a member of the Japanese national team, I salute you. You did your darndest. You took Brazil to the limit but got undone by none other than Arsenal's Gabriel Martinelli. And also a great assist by Arsenal's Gabriel Magalhães. This is the World Cup 2026. We are in the round of 32, wrapping up the last bits of the group stages. Welcome, Jamel Johnson and Chris Martin. Jamel, you said MLS is on the up? MLS is here, guys. It's a real league. How can you say that? Yeah, yeah, okay. Paraguay just beat Germany, guys. Whole team plays for MLS, okay? I was wondering, I'm like, where do all these motherfuckers play at? I didn't bother looking. Who? MLS. Yeah, that's it. They're either there or fucking USL, bro. Who was the biggest dude from MLS that was playing on Paraguay? What am I saying? Our guy who was at Newcastle. Almeron. Yes, he went back. He's back at MLS? Yeah, he went back. Okay, okay. I see what you're doing, Almeron.
Yeah, that was a match. Chris Martin, how's the pub scene been? I mean, the pub scene's been... I was telling you guys about Saturday. Saturday was a... I ended up at a...
So there's so many parts of the city to watch games. It's a vast metropolis. I went to High Tops in Los Feliz to watch the USA game. Okay. If you don't know, it's a gay sports bar in Los Feliz and it's the best place to watch it. All right. I imagine a lot of people in red, white and blue, but none of it says USA. Yeah, just like they got, they're like, I'm not wearing a flag. It's vibes. It's good food, good people. It's like just enough for a vibe, but not like hectic. The guy who serves me the burger and fries, very nice guy. He seems to really enjoy my bit of flirty banter. Genuinely. I'm a married man. I'll take it anywhere I can go. And then Saturday ended up at... It wasn't because you took 50%? It was a little bit because I took 50%.
Saturday, I end up going to watch England game in West Hollywood, oh no, in Santa Monica, a golf club, which sounds like it's going to be terrible, but it's like a scene. What do you like? Penmar Golf Club has, it's where the French, it's the big French watching place, but shout out to Lloyd Griffith and Rick Edwards from Football Daily on the BBC, who sort out tables, has like, oh, tables, like good vibes. It's a weird thing where like, it's sort of divorced women looking to pick up. Okay, let's go. So I'm really, I'm really hitting my sweet spot, which is, I'm going to place a divorce with, Jamel's too excited about it. Yeah, come on. Gay man where you're scoring high points. Gay man. He's out here just kind of leaning on the bar.
I'm having a great time. Showtime dramedy. That's not like where you was at. Exactly. It feels like something from like Californication or Weeds or some shit. And then I took my son and they mentioned this in their podcast. I took my son who's like with my wife and Rick who has a son similar to my age. She goes, is it weird if I just...
just hang out with your son while he's playing golf over there because I really miss my son. I was like, knock yourself out there. Free baby. It sounds like the plot to a movie. Free babysitter. Free tall British babysitter. Anyway, that was great. And then I end up in a house party in West Hollywood where it was kind of at a keg and then all these new... You went off Hollywood with a keg, bro? With a keg. A keg with like a built-in tap system in the backyard. This is next level. That's the West Hollywood part. And then I end up in Barney's Beanery. And I will say this. This is what I noticed about this part of West Hollywood. I was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. I normally go out in the east part of LA. Just a quite standard black wine shirt.
The people couldn't believe. I feel like in that part of town, it's a different, it's like, not saying I'm hipster, but like people thought I was mad. This guy was like the bar going, dude, you just get to town, dude? Hey man, what the hell is this? You look ridiculous. I'm like, I don't even know your name. And he started doing that and then I was in another bar and there was other people and people were just like, dude, you're taking a wild swing with this shit. I'm like, what is? That's because you're in shape. I was like, that never happens to me, but that's because I'm overweight. Wait, that's crazy. They were giving you shit because you're wearing a Hawaiian shirt? This guy literally, it was like, it was the craziest, it was the, he was like, I couldn't believe you had the audacity to wear that on a night out.
Tiki culture out here is very crazy. He invented it. That's what I mean. It's crazy. The first guy very annoying, but then I'm at the bar and I'm next to a guy called Philippe. And he's just like, this is a fan I love. Obviously, there's a diehard fan. This guy's like, I don't really follow soccer, man, but I'm just any sport. I'll get into it. And then he's like a six-year-old cool guy. Glasses with like gold on them. And he starts talking about London. Are you from London? He goes, man, in the 90s, I used to be a promo guy for Peter Stringfellow. Do you know Peter Stringfellow? Look him up right now.
Look him up right now. Peter Stringfellow, who used to own a strip club. Oh my lord. And Peter Stringfellow used to own a strip club called Stringfellows. And this guy, this is my favorite. No, no, it's women strippers. Oh, he could be a stripper. No, no, he could be running any kind of strip club. But anyway, as far as I'm aware, it was the standard sort of your more common strip club. He tried to run one in Bel Air for a bit. This guy, this guy, this guy told me.
He said, um, lovely guy. He said his brother is, I just like this as a phrase that a man would tell you about. He goes, my brother, he's the richest black man in America. And I was like, that's just a great, that's a great quote. It's a great quote. But anyway, he was a promo guy. And then he met him in London and he told me he had a, had a night with two strippers. And he, the way he was telling me about this night was just like, he was just the happiest man I've ever seen in my life. He was time traveling. And then he vanished into the night. And I was like, this is, this is my, Philippe go to the bartender. Like he's been dead for five years, man. Chris, you're so drunk. His picture's like, there's like a bunch of, there's a vigil set up. You were talking to a bunch of crumpled up napkins and placemats.
oh yeah well shit i watched most of my match on my fucking phone because i'm like doing all kinds of shit i was i was in dc the week before last so i like watched the japan match at like midnight it was kicking my ass uh and then mostly on my phone and then the one thing was the beautiful thing is as we've all realized in world cup it's like the one time you go hey man where are you from yeah and not in like a yeah yeah yeah purely like nice what are we yeah yeah i had one dude who was driving the cab he was from benong But he was like, I'm rooting for all the West African teams. I'm like, well, great. Most of them have advanced. I had another guy who was Bolivian, but he was rooting for... I had a lot of people who were like, I'm from here, but I'm rooting for this other team. Or people who were like, I'm from South Africa, but I'm rooting for Ivory Coast. And I'm like, oh, okay, okay. But anyway, some great conversations. Some heartbreaking moments. As we record this, we've just seen three of the round of 32 matches that have happened so far. We did see South Africa lose to Canada. I think Drake put a gigantic bet on Canada and Parting was like... Drake's first bet he ever won. Came through a 90-second minute.
from Stefan Eustachiel. How do you say that? Eustachiel. Eustachiel. It's pronounced LAFC midfielder. Once again. Oh, there we go. Once a motherfucking game. Yes. Are we going to start doing an MLS podcast? Is that what's going to happen? Hey, listen. I don't want to. We can say some Arsenal names when we get to the Brazil's game. We don't have to retire from a real podcast and start doing MLS podcast. No, I mean, it is. I get it. The levels, it goes up and up and up. So what is it? Is that just because they're used to the sort of poor shit, the food over here? Yeah, they're accustomed to the preservatives. I can't say preservatives.
Everyone playing already has cancer from the food here. So they're already playing from low baseline level. The guy, he plays for LAFC, he's used to like poisonous air. These guys playing so far now, they're all scared of the fucking big ass refrigerator and boil pipes exploding. Insulation fumes? Everyone's got a mask on, they're like, I am a mask. My body is mask. He's like, first time?
All right. Yeah, that match, fine, fine. It wasn't the most interesting. It was a little stressful. I mean, not stressful, just like head grinding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These two teams are... They did, for sure. Davey's coming on made the difference as well. As soon as he came on, it was like, why open? And then, this morning, Brazil 2, Japan 1. I was going into this one very... This was my Dark Horse team. I was like, damn it, I'm gonna do it. Because we don't do great in the... Once we get to the knockout stage, it's like the lights go out for some reason. But this time, that early... Well, not early, in the 29th minute, Sano scored from outside the box. I was like, oh shit, here we fucking go.
Once Casemiro equalized from a beautiful ball from our big Gabby, I gotta say, that was a really nice, really nice ball. That's when it was like, Japan was like, okay, man, we gotta just survive. We gotta get to maybe extra time. And that's when it felt a little bit like, there were moments where Japan could still, like, they still offered a threat, but it just felt kind of like what we would do, like, in the banter section of Arteta's years, where we'd be like, clam up, be like, maybe we'll just hold on to this thing, and then get beat. It was ten and a half guys behind the ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And then Martinelli, with a, I mean, look, Bruno Guimaraes, just fucking, just sent it right into him, so clean. One touch, opened it up, boom.
hit the post, heartbreak. My aunts were very upset. They watched together and they were like, one of my cousins sent me a video of them where they're just going, oh, oh. Oh, that's sad. I don't want to see that video. It's funny because they're watching the goal happen and then they saw the replay and every time the ball went in in the replay, they went, oh, again. So it's like a series of them going, oh. I will say when I watched USA Turkey in the bar.
I've never seen this. When I'm watching an England game and a goal goes in for the other team, it just goes silent. It's very British. We're just silent. Take it in. Feel the pain. Fucks. Americans are like, shit, damn it. Every time. Why did I get my nail? Oh, man. But it's very internal. But Americans, obviously, like, stereotypically like to make it. But when Turkey scored, it was very confusing because the bar was obviously full of Americans. And Turkey scored. Everyone went, oh. It was still a, it was like a sad shit. Yeah. Goals are good. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah.
I want you to hear my aunties. What time were they watching in Japan? They're watching live here. Give us the close-up. That's really funny. So every time they just go, they had to relive that over. So Mutsi, Yoko, I see you. That should be a trending thing online where you make a sad noise every time you see the... But I mean, Martinelli scored... As far as I'm aware, two of the most important clutch goals of the season, international and national, the one against Man City for Arsenal in that one. Last kick at a game, coming up with it.
clinical which is wild too because in the league sometimes he's not as clinical you know like there are times that you're like you missed that uh but hey look it's a different atmosphere he loved it i was just i felt so happy for him because once he scored the explosion like he got to go to the sidelines his post match was like i got to see my friends and family they're crying i get to see all the joy and i'm as a brazilian that's like that goes straight into your fucking veins mate you know they're gonna be partying tonight yeah a lot of dancing dogs talk of um british stereotypes when we're talking about scoring a goal when i was with our friend of the podcast longers yeah he um we're watching the game He was with us on Saturday. And then he goes, how long does it take to get a replay in this World Cup? He goes, they show the celebrations for too long. That's the most thing. I don't want to see people happy. I want to see the same thing again. It's like me and the hoardings. The hoardings are too high up. And he's just like, too long to see a replay. I've already forgotten it. My brain. I've got goldfish brain. I want to see it. I was like, mate, you sound like an English thing to be complaining about. I mean, it does take a while. It does take a while. Because they're really trying to ramp up the celebration. Yeah, yeah, which I get. But let's be real. This is a sporting event first. Save that for the documentary. Does anybody interview the camera guys from the World Cup?
I want to see if I'm finding certain people in the crowd. I mean, just like, what is the thought process? How much creative control do the cameramen have? Oh, I'm sure. I feel like that's got to be a skill because you've got to scan the audience and you're like, yeah, there he is. You know what I mean? There's probably one guy who's just looking for attractive women. Like that guy's just like a pervert. It's a guy you went to college with? Yeah. That's one terrible, terrible camera operator. But he just got an eye. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, you stay locked there. All right, Rick, good. There's one guy looking for a very sad fan of a certain country. Was he about to cry? Was he a Japanese fan amongst the Brazilian ones? Well, Japan's easy because we cry all the time.
We cry out of happiness. We cry when we lose. Without fail, you just aim a camera in a group of Japanese people. Somebody's crying. Doesn't even have to be a sporting event. That's just because they're already shy. Whatever it is. They might just be like, I don't want a camera in my face. No, it's because they're overcome. It's by something. The most easily emotionally overcome people. Trust me, I know because I was crying watching some weird ass YouTube video about fucking God knows one earlier. But yeah, I feel like they definitely get it. I'm sure like that's just a skill. They're like, you got to find somebody. And I'm sure just if you're not on the pitch, you're just scanning the audience the whole time. So you find like, this guy's going to lose his mind later and put a pin in that. This person's got way too much shit on. So if they get a goal scored on him, I can see their reaction. I mean, it's the greatest people watching.
It's almost better than Love Island. Just World Cup scenes. You've been watching Love Island? I'm getting the audio from WNBA players acting out scenes from Love Island. I'm not even watching it. I'm just watching the Washington Mystics relive moments. How's anyone got time for that? The World Cup, I will say, has been a full-time job. My mate lost his job about a month ago. I said, mate, you've absolutely nailed that. What a perfect time to be unemployed. Nah, I kind of did it, man. I'm kind of hard up right now. How did you think of that? Losing your job right now.
He just sends a racist email out like the week before. He just says, here's my thoughts on these people. And I'm like, Jason, it's time. Speaking of you know who, it's like, oh, good Lord, you know who. Yeah, it's like, I haven't paid bills. I have like things I've let go by the wayside because I'm just trying to like watch matches. There's transfer market shit happening. I'm like, we're going to try Bruno? I don't know. And then the real big match, a really huge upset. Germany out of white. 1-1, then goes to penalties.
And my God, what a fuck. That penalty, that shootout was crazy. Jeremy missed their first one. Kai Havertz missed the first one. Then they missed the second one. Then Paraguay was perfect up until their last two kicks descended into sudden death. And then Jonathan Ta just fucking Gabby excelled it, just skied that shit. I was like, ah, fuck. So sorry for you. Ta-ta. That sounds like a very The Sun. The Sun is definitely going to happen. It will be Ta-ta. Ta-ta, Germany. Yeah.
All the builders rubbing their thighs. Finally! They feel our pain! That's why, I mean, I think you were in the, I was walking, watching it on the way to the studio and I've written, after they had two penalties to win at Paraguay, I was just like, first ever pen cut. World Cup pens loss. Not yet. Mate! I want the Germans to feel my pain. Fucking Germans surely. Vamos! Then co-please, co-please, because I get in the building. Yeah, yeah. Back to the building. Back to the building. Back to the building. I was watching, obviously I like Kai. Right. He's a brother. He's our friend. He's a brother. Yeah, he's a brother.
There's a club, brethren. The more I think about it, obviously I wanted the Germans to lose on penalties. And I don't sound controversial, I'm still not over World War II. I'm still not over it. And do you know what? The more I think about it, one world war, that's alright. Two? I know it's been 70, 80 years. 45, yeah, 71 years. After the first one, you're like, guys, you've got one job. Not go to war with the world for a good while. They did it again. They did it again.
And you'll never forgive them, huh? And then, and now they lose on pennies. Everything's right with the world. Come on. Okay, good. I was going to say, that's the, that's the arc. For the terrible fire bombings, you know, like at the end of the day, they lost this penalty shootout. They did. They lost the power. So it's healing. It's healing. You think, you think England can move on now? I think we can. Yeah. Maybe make, maybe make final eight. Yeah. And that, it came home.
It did just come home. Losing on penalties. Everyone's swarming Wembley like when Man City lost. Everyone's outside. Watching a white guy miss a penalty kick, I forgot how good that feels. Doesn't happen often enough. Oh, really? I mean, I'm sure it does, but just, I mean, when that's a blow in the last Champions League thing, that's my last memory. And Gabby. Yeah, exactly. Come on. But then Ta, you know what I mean?
I'm sure he'll be the only one to get. He absolutely skydied. He'll be the only one to get some fucked up tweets. Valdemar and Kai missed, but you know who's getting the tweets. Yeah. We know where the tweets are currently. Anytime in a national team, if a black, every white player could miss, but if there's also a black player, which is why I would have, they should have had Kai six. He'd been running around all game. Yeah. Yeah. He needs a rest before he has the, just a reset to just a moment to just kind of gather himself. I felt like mentally for how frustrating that match was and the lack of like teeth going forward.
it felt like him having to like really be the one to lift it up out the gate. I was like, right. And it's like, it's been on you all game. You've been trying to score on a header for two hours now. Yeah. He equalized. Yeah. That's the thing. That's the sad thing when someone, he's the reason they're in the game still and then he's going to miss the first. I think when, when more, if you're going to miss, you want more. If you miss the pen, obviously you want your team to win. You're like, someone else just missed as well. Right. Cause this was gonna be the last guy. I mean, yeah, you're right though. It's like, it's, it's a very ridiculous house. It's tough, man. It's tough, but also too bad. So sad. Yeah. Enjoy a donor kebab on us at the crib.
Now rest your ass, bro. For sure, yeah. Put him in a fucking Ziploc bag. For us, just putting our club allegiances on the table, I'm also like, man, y'all could lose this too. You know, Saliba, you don't really need a World Cup, bro. You need to sit the fuck down. Declan Rice, you need to sit your ass down. Oh, I mean, I don't know how, I feel like we're already gearing up for a terrible injury with him. Just like the amount of minutes he's put on his body the last two years. But anyway, Paraguay, congratulations to you. You are advancing to the round of 16 where you will face either France or Sweden. Hilarious. It's so set up for France to make a final now.
Yeah, because I mean, you look at that side, no disrespect to Canada. The Netherlands. You could disrespect Canada. Disrespect. The Netherlands. That could be something they put up. At least that is a team that has some talented players on it. Yeah. But yeah, because then on that whole side of the bracket, you have Portugal, Croatia, Spain, Austria, the US, Bosnia, and then Belgium, Cameroon. That's how the bracket stinks. Yeah. Portugal, Croatia will be one of the slowest-paced games we've ever seen. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It absolutely will. That's their stopping for cigarettes during that game. It's like... Yeah, mutually. They'll be like...
like after the hydration break, they're like, can we get like five more? And they're like, are you smoking cigarettes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like when you play Sunday League with a guy who used to be like back in the day, he goes, I'm not going to do any running. I'm going to still be better than you're walking, but I'm not going to run at any point. So don't, there's an unwritten, no running run. It's a bit like the Algeria, the Algeria, what's the McCaulay game? Who is it? Algeria. No one's supposed to win this, right? And then Mario's just like, better not. Mario's just like, why not? Let's just bang it in. Yeah, yeah. Let's have one. Let's do it. That was really funny. Yeah. Because that was, that was fully not part of the agreement, right?
if there was an agreement. I feel like two of the goals were a part of the agreement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the other, yeah. That Mahrez was like, I want to get my stats up, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, no, the match trophy. It made it a very fun last three minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the best rigged games I've ever seen, bro. I know, it had like a 93rd and 96th minute goal in a rigged match. The reduction value on that performance. The showrunner nailed that. That's some Christopher Nolan. Yeah, they smacked that. I get it. Absolute cinema. If you use that Scorsese meme of their rigged match. Absolute. I was at Red Lion.
during Congo, Uzbekistan. How is the red line for vibes? I mean, it's nice. I like going to watch games. It gets wild. And knowing what I know now, hey, listen, you like to mix it up. So you'll be good over there. You don't mind in no elbow room. I like getting involved. Get mixing. Just getting a little too close to people. They're like, hey, man, there's a lot of room here at the bar. And you're like, oh, sorry. I'm a married man who doesn't get a lot of fun. I'm just happy to be around here, y'all. You came in with a Hawaiian shirt and bike shorts? No. Stay away from him. Don't that combo. Bike shorts, exclusively without Hawaiian shirt. He's been here long enough. Anyway.
So the big game was Portugal-Colombia. And me and my boy, Benny, they got us in the corner. Yeah, I'm with the guys. And we're invested in Congo because it's like... this game actually has stakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congo wins, they're in. I mean, it was kind of like whoever, well, no, only Congo had a chance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But nobody wants to go home. No, no, no, no. And the game ended up being really good. Yeah. But the whole time, it's like we're trying to ignore these near chances in the Columbia game. Trying to pretend that this game is better. Like, yeah, we're watching Congo, but everyone else at the bar is watching the other game and we kind of wish we were watching that one too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just trying to pretend that we're from the Congo for like 90 minutes. Like, nah, this is really important. They might be from the Congo.
Probably. I met some American Congo fans in Barneys as well. And that was a lot. That's something lovely. They were like, who used to support Congo? Mate, we're playing in the next round. This is going to be quality. And it was just like this lovely sort of let's just be all mates until someone starts slagging off my Hawaiian shirt. It's a good vibe. And luckily, yeah, that's all non-football based violence that's been done to you. Exactly. And that guy doesn't just cattiness. That's America for you. It's all nice until something American like this happens. Congo, they finally let the Patrice Lumumba guy in. Now he's doing deodorant ads. Is he? Yeah, yeah. They got him. He got a degree. Oh, because he went like this just with the armpit up? He got a degree. Yeah, it's like I got my pits up all game. Oh, wow.
This is what I do. Yeah. While I'm pretending to be a statue. They're going to be a tough game. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got, they can, they can ball. Wiesa. Wiesa scores again. Yeah, Wiesa. Whole team goes built to ass. Hell yeah. But it was against Uzbekistan. So that's right. Ronaldo also scored two goals against Uzbekistan. Great point. This is a bad team. Which is, which is, they are bad. They are not good. Kusanovic looks pretty upset at the end of that. I think he always looks upset though, doesn't he? But Ronaldo was like, hey. But Ronaldo definitely came on and was like, hey bro.
Y'all were never going to win, man. Sorry. You should be like a city. Don't focus on that, man. We're buying Ellie Anderson. We're fine. You'll be good. You'll be good. You left. I know I'm done with that shit. But you have fun over there in Manchester, man. It's beautiful. Beautiful. You'll really love it. Let's take a break, actually. When we come back, we can wrap up some of the group stage matches. The group stage. The group stage. Brought to you by Goop. Hit us up. That should be. Damn. God damn it. The group stage. The group stage. The group stage. Brought to you by vegan food. Yeah. Hey. No, they got meat there. Ow. At the group kitchen? Yeah, they do. And we'll talk about that during the break. We'll be right back.
And we're back. Group stage round up a couple things. England to Panama nil. Was that a nail-biter for you? It was a game. It's one of those weird ones where England is sort of expected to win. I mean, a lot of it was, as I said, we just did a very enjoyable arena watching. But I was like, this is not going to be a good game. And the way Tuchel's picked the England squad is he's not picked it to win against these low-block teams. He's picked a team, I think, that can play against like a Brazil or someone good. So these kind of group stages, it's like, let's just get them out of the way. But Bellingham has that guy gene. He comes up clutch and then...
Harold Kane becomes the top scorer at World Cups for England. And it's just so nice he doesn't play for Tottenham anymore because I can just unashamedly say he's one of the best. He's the best I've ever seen in my life because he can just do everything. But yeah, England definitely have a few, have some issues. The fullback scenario is not looking great. At the back, we just look a bit, we need to let a goal in when someone, I forgot the Panama player, but Panama weren't terrible. They were pretty decent. I feel like there's been very few batterings in this tournament. There's been a lot of teams that really like...
are well drilled and can hold their own. That Germany-Curassel match. Apart from that one. 5-0 Senegal. 5-1. But even still, I feel like I could count them on one hand. Because you thought with a bigger tournament it would be so many more batterings. So I think England did enough, topped the group. Congo's going to be similar. They're going to sit in and be hard to break down. I kept thinking, my pitch to him was like, get Ezra on, get Ezra on. That's not because of an Arsenal thing. He's one of the few, I'd call him a lockpicker. Whereas Rogers Bellingham, they've got that big guy, big stride, running into the box, powerful.
great footballers but just lack that little bit of you know round the box slide rule passing so and even just a clever like a little cheeky dribble to get out of a tight like tight space like Ezza will do that suddenly like you can suddenly have the whole you know just a whole field in front of you on a break or something but nice to score for corner and it'd be good apparently rather than an annoying thing when Arsenal do it it's nice when it happens sack of delivery right with outswing I love outswingers which is contrary to the Arsenal way but job done I guess it is like who knows how we're only going to know how good the England team is really I think when we play better teams but we have to but you just saw Paraguay beat Germany like yeah it can happen like teams there's a lot of teams you can sit in and get touched and we sit on a counter I mean this guy loves nothing more than to destroy British hearts yeah counter-attack Yeah. That's what he does for a living. Exactly. I know. I know. He's like, bro, I play against these motherfuckers. I know all these fucking fuckers. I will wake up. I know all these fucking fuckers. I know all these fucking fuckers, bro. The guy who doesn't know what to say, so he just starts swearing. Do you know one of those guys when you're playing sport who just, I'm just going to try and get everyone up for the games. I'm just going to swear. Let's fucking go, you fuck. I'm like, sorry, but I brought my son here. He's only three. Fuck yeah.
Earmuffs. Fuck earmuffs, dude. Man, bro. Speaking of earmuffs, I have to raise my hand for this. What the hell is going on with Jed Spence and his chin strap again? Yeah, no, he's got a fractured jaw. He's got a fractured cure or something. Which is insane when you think the amount of just a man playing a fully important game of football with a broken jaw is crazy to me. It's kind of cool because he looks like a Marvel supervillain. That's what I was going to say. He looked like Iron Flux. He looked like he got a... It's kind of smooth. He can just hit a button and that shit turns into a helmet. It doesn't look goofy. It doesn't look like a neck brace. I'm like, oh, what's he on? Yeah, that's cool. Okay, Jed. He looked like the Danger Room in the new Marvel fighting game.
That's a deep cut. What does that mean? So it throws a bunch of robots at you? Yeah, just crazy lasers. I know about the Danger Room, canonically speaking. They turn the Danger Room, they personify the Danger Room. Oh, shit. The Danger Room is a person who looks like Jed Spence, but is painted. Imagine Jed Spence, but all light blue. That trap thing with the dreads.
You know, they start choosing goalie outfits to be distracting for one-on-ones, right? That was a big thing back in the day. Like, they'd pick a bright color. I don't know. Arteta definitely has done it. I'm sure, like, maybe Marina or someone else. You know, marginal gains. But I will say, if you're playing as an attacking winger and your defender has that on his face, it's going to put you off your game a little bit. Yeah. I'll be like, that's just unusual. I'm still looking at this rendering of the Danger Room right here.
Which version? This one looks like a white lady. Well, that's just, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. Would you feel me? It looked like it could turn into that. Yes. Could all the team wear one of those headguards in solidarity? You think that would put you off? Well, I'd just be like, I'd be like, bro, let's do this off, bro. He's hurt.
You think that's weakness? You just slap him in the jaw. How good is that really for broken jaw protection? You gotta test the jaw. You gotta test it. Just touch it. Just get in there and be like, let him know. Just let him know your shit can't be smashed again. Or maybe he's wearing it like how Rip Hamilton never took off his mask. Now it just feels good. Do you know Rip Hamilton? Are you familiar with Rip Hamilton? No.
I like the name. I'll show you. It's a different version of the same problem. It's a similar thing. Yeah, he played four distance. And he also wore a mask. I remember, who's the guy used to wear glasses to play basketball in the 90s? Was it Patrick Ewing? Nah, Ewing didn't. Kareem? Nah, someone else will shade some sort of. I mean, obviously there's Edgar Grant. Horace Grant. Horace Grant. Horace Grant. Horace Grant. I had to think of somebody. It had to be a Bulls player for it to get to England. Yeah, that's fair. Horace Grant. I'm going to say that's one car. To get to England. I used to have a Chicago Bulls hat. Yeah, see this guy. This guy, Rip Hamilton, would wear it. This is a little bit of a cultural exchange. I'm going to brought to you by Interfooty. Here we go. I love it. It's been a while. He broke his nose
Then he was just part of it. He was like, I just play better. I don't know. I just like having it on. He didn't even need it anymore. Yeah. Anyway. That's it. Davids with the glasses. How much headgear can you sort of wear? Legally wear. Do you keep adding different things to your face? No, but what do you do throughout the game? It's sort of 20 minutes. Hydration break. You put on a chin strap. Don't explain it. I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? He's thinking about you. What's this guy mind giving you through? Next break, you put the Davids glasses on. Yeah. Now you look like, oh, I can't see his eyes. Have you got a glycoma? Yeah, I do. That's what I was doing during the hydration break. Next break.
Headbands? Is that loud? No, you go with the helmet. Remember St. Maximus wearing a Gucci headband? He wore the fucking Gucci joint on. But they wouldn't allow that in FIFA. They were so branded. You can wear a Powerade headband if you want. You can put on a Powerade headband, Coca-Cola. Powerade, Coca-Cola, Qatar Airways, Lenovo, Adidas. You can put on a specific brand. TCL or Hisense. Hisense television. Fox. You got sponsored headbands. And then maybe for the last one, you wear, what's the guy, the Mexican striker from Fulham?
It's a bit of your skull missing and then actually up there you just got a piece of ham that you just take out and you just eat it. See? Just a little ham smash. Just a little slice of ham. The referee's like, what's going on with that? He's like, no, it's jamon. It's the jamon guy. His mouth is covering his mouth. And it's the jamon guy. And he's like, and everybody's just kind of rolling it up. Oh, this? This is some jamon iberico. Mmm, que rico sabor.
There's a long VAR debate on like, well, he was eating. But he was eating. He was saying something racist. No, it was just good manners. If you look, he has a toothpick, and he's picking his mouth with a toothpick. He was doing that. It is weird. The amount of spitting, you see, doesn't bother me, but if I saw a guy eating ham mid-game, I'd be put off. I'd be pretty beside myself. I remember Russell Westbrook was famously eating, sneaking the fries. He was sitting on the side in a suit.
I'm a snacker so I'd find it hard to not have a little slice of something. We've never seen anyone eat anything on pitch. It's always like those gels. You can have gel on the side. What food do you need? I can't wear a helmet. I can't wear this chin strap. I can't put ham in my hand. I got a handband on. But it feels like with the celebrations, obviously with the Iranian one, I feel very bad. I always watch that game. I'm so cheering for them. And then he gets the glasses from the meme. Once you get props out, you're like... The meme shade's crazy.
And then I was texting people and it was that thing where everyone was like, there's only one guy I was like the goalie's in front guys come on I know this is your first Shojay Khalilzadeh bro he brought him out in that Egypt match stoppage time he thought man and you get it too you really you really thought you did that and I understand but then for it to get taken away that was the part that really yeah it was it was just that it's like nah bro you didn't even like it would have been that's worse than you like getting the goal and then losing from like a goal Egypt score or something like that the fact that it was just like nah bro that shouldn't even happen and you're like but who has this bro and all the bullshit that we've been through I know they're fucking FIFA is fucking us. They are colluding with the U.S. government to make this the worst shit. It's also crazy the shit they ask these players at the end of a match. Like, hey, homie, when's the Shader Hormuz gonna be open back up? They're like, bro, I'm here with you. The fuck I look like. I brought a main shade. Hold on, you're not gonna ask about these? I was the guy who pulled out the fucking deal with this. Did you get them out of a shipping container that was in the Shader Hormuz? I don't know, man. Somebody gave them to me at the hotel. They thought it would be lit if I did that. Huh.
Huh. So what do you think about the new Ayatollah? Is that your boy? Uh, look, man, I'm just looking for, I'm just trying to get back to Tijuana on this jet because we cannot stay in the United States. That's sad as hell. And I was like, still, mine might get through on the third place thing. Yeah, tough. Right. And then Congo, so Congo knocks him out and I'm at the bar and there's a very nice Iranian man who's like, it's only me, Membinium, watching, we're the only ones paying attention to the screen until the second half when an Iranian guy and a wife beater walks up and he's like, yo, kind of need Uzbekistan to win right here. Yeah, yeah. You're like, I'll be honest, I have no control over what's happening. I'm gonna be real with you guys.
What's the blick on the table? Yeah. We're like, okay. And we were like, listen, we won a round to get in last night. It was really heartbreaking, but obviously we're both in the Congo, bro. If they win, they might get to keep some of their cobalt, man. We're trying to get our resources back, dog. I don't know what you want. They're kind of going through some shit too. You feel me? I think y'all are going through some shit too, but they're also going through some real shit too. We disagree. It didn't turn into anything. Every time Congo scored, it was like when Batman sees Alfredo. Just a little look like.
all right sir you know we sorry bro my cocaine um yeah the size of a tangerine um the turkey u.s match was also fun to watch that was yeah turkey and the u.s austin trustee kind of former Arsenal. I mean, technically he was. A lot of kind of former Arsenal. There's Matt Turner, him. Yeah. When I saw Matt Turner was playing, I was like, I don't know if you guys are going to win this. Yeah, sorry. I don't even know who your other goalie is, but I know he's not Matt Turner. It ain't Matt Turner. That's good. If it's not. Sorry, Matt Turner. Yeah. You know those commercials they do on Fox that's like, it's, you know, it's like the fantasy vision of the US winning the World Cup. It's how it starts. And then it like cuts to the dudes at the bar. You really think the US is going to win? Yeah, I know that. Part of me is like, I feel like you're playing with fire with a commercial like that. Don't, don't make that a commercial right now. That's not, just take it one match at a time.
I'll low-key be excited if the US kind of goes far. I think it's a great project. I mean, for me, this is the thing. If it's a country that's not a massive sport in the country, them going far is so good for the sport. Because in England, that's going far. I mean, still, it's going to energize the youth and stuff. But like, they're all on. You're forced to do it. Yeah, they're already on that. Even if you don't want to. You can't even walk. Doesn't matter. But here, it's like, it's a sport changing thing. If you guys can get to at least the court finals. Yeah, maybe you won't have to be fucking rich to fucking get some shit done. You know what I'm saying? Maybe we'll start funding this shit.
Have you read that book, Socceronomics? No, no. It's always just sort of like, the problem with the U.S. is that it's basically paywalled. It's like a fair, such a middle class sport. You should be charging motherfuckers for lessons because you got the accent. I see English guys training rich white kids at the park all the time doing shit. I'm like, this guy is finessing. It's clear like the mom has a crush on this English dude. I see that with basketball a lot in Pasadena. Oh, right.
Just like a cute black guy. It's like the opposite of white men can't jump at the plot for the movie. One black guy, he just rolls through Pasadena. He just sits at the court. He's just like pulling his socks up and stuff. He's like, he's got like a line under his arm. He's just, he's like a middle-aged guy. He's like, you got a sign?
They play basketball? They need help? You need help? You need some help? Do you need some help? That's part of it. You're correct. If you just see an English guy, I go, brilliant, pass. They're like, this guy must know. This guy, Matthew. Who's Matthew? This guy. We call him Matt here. This guy, Matthew, is, like, from, like, Peterborough or something. He wrote it down. I don't know how to say it. He's so English. He's so good. Like, he's so good with the kids. I know he's legit because he speaks with an accent. I saw a guy, I remember once, like, could not pass the ball.
and was like drilling like two 12-year-old kids like at the park, like on some like, your parents are paying me money so you'd like put these cones around. This guy could not kick a ball and kept acting like, you know, like when you fuck up and you're like, you're looking at your boot or some shit or you're like grabbing your muscle. You're like, ah, man, that was, yeah, yeah, yeah. These dang American pitches. Yeah, not used to these, your fields you have here. You got pitches back home. Deal with it. Listen, but back to the Matt Turner. What a fucking terrible game this guy had. Yeah, it was garbage. They fucked him up worse than the Sixers did Markel Fultz. That's just for you. But whatever happened to Matt Turner's confidence is dead and gone.
Mikel Arteta is somewhat responsible. And it's not like I even care that much. But damn, he sucked. But the big thing is Pulisic got some minutes. He got some minutes and he did play well. 30 minutes, three shots on. The thing that blew my mind was Turkey, I celebrated. I was like, how would I celebrate if the game meant anything? I was like, the way you celebrate, I was like, can I go through? I was like, ah! I was like, lots of people who didn't know and they're like, oh no, is the US out? Because they were just completely going off the energy. I was like, no, no, the US was through regardless. And also...
I don't know why you're watching. This is the most low stakes match in the tournament right now. Nothing changes. Nothing can happen where the U.S. doesn't go through and nothing can happen where Turkey goes through. My American friend Stefan was like, I still want us to get a win. I was like, you're so American, mate. It doesn't matter, mate. This is the time to lose. Rest your players. Yeah, I saw it both ways. Exactly. Perfectly timed loss. Yeah. Lessons learned for free. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? How to finish out a game. Right. And you're going to be like, bro, those motherfuckers aren't going to be playing the next match anyway. Also, it does kind of, in terms of the Matt Turner thing, because I know people were like, is it Matt Freeze? Is it Matt Turner? They had both named Matt, so they both should have an equal chance. You know what I'm saying? And no one's named Matthew. That's how you pick
There is no question there. I feel bad for him. He's a top man. He's a doormat. Thank you. Hello. That's a free one for you. Yeah, way to clean that up. Yeah, bro. I mean, as far as the other backups, you know who I felt bad for? Tim Way, I had a terrible game. I mean, just like a larger scale. Like, he just looks so much worse than George. When I was explaining to the people, a lot of lovely men were really into it. And I was like, so his dad used to be the man. He was the best player in the world in the mid-90s. And they were like, what?
For Liberia? He's president of Liberia. And that's something you guys should be doing here. Instead of reality stars, who can you get from sport to be? Because that's... Michael Jordan. He took it personally. He took way around it personally. That's not good for foreign policy. He'll be like, bro, I will go to the house and kill them myself. No, no, no, Mr. President, you don't have to do that. But somebody needs to. Fuck the kids.
You should have Dennis Rodman, actually. That'd be more fun. He's already pals with... Alcoholism is definitely a wild card. But of the things I've seen so far, that's probably the least of our worries. Right now doesn't seem that ridiculous. I've said that 10 years ago. It's crazy. Everybody fucks with him. Putin, Xi Jinping. They're all like, we love Dennis Rodman. It's crazy, bro. Someone that unifies the world. Remember who came on the wedding dress?
I'm not going to negotiate. You don't know what he's going to say. Carmen Electra gets back in as the first lady. The most 90s fucking presidency ever. Please. Nostalgia, mate. People are craving it. Yeah. I'm just saying. America, it's in your power. Dennis, Carmen, you've got my vote. Argentina. Yeah. They beat Jordan 1-2-3. That's an interesting way of saying this. 1-2-3. I like to say I'm like a 10-year-old. It was 1-2-3. That was the score there. Argentina, bro. Messi's still fucking scoring. Again. MLS legend. MLS legend. MLS made him who he is.
Alexi Lavas. Thank you, Alexi. You can't tell me otherwise. You straight up can't tell me otherwise. People are going to be fucking desecrating Messi's gravestone just to tag. Thank you, MLS. Yeah. You're welcome. A lady crying. Thank you, MLS.
There was one moment I saw the ball went in the air and Messi was next to a guy twice his size for a header. And I've never seen a man in a professional football pretend less to compete for a ball. He was just like, why would I do that? He was like lifting him up. Yeah, yeah. He was just like, it's not for me that. Just put it on the floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. If only I was bad enough that I needed to even try and win that header. But luckily, put it on my feet. I mean, they are going to potentially sleepwalk into the semifinal. Who's the first game? Cabo Verde.
Although that's a tough game. I do want to say that would be so such a fucking head fuck if they pull off. I think at best, probably a penalty for president, bro. If that is, I'll change my national president. Um, cause then the other side, it's what you got, New Zealand, Iran, Switzerland, Algeria, um, and Ecuador, Ghana, New Zealand, Iran, New Zealand's through.
I thought it was New Zealand, didn't you? You're just reading countries out. I don't know my flags. I'm like, that's America. He's just looking at the flags. I mean, going off the flags. That's a different level. You're podcasting altitude, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing it. You're up there. Give me an earpiece. I need some help. Australia teams in this World Cup. No, wait. Did I have that right? Australia. It was Australia. I did have Switzerland, Algeria. Algeria a couple of days. Oh, Colombia, Ghana. That was when I fucked up. Colombia looked good, but we didn't say it. But Colombia, Portugal. Colombia, very unlucky not to win. Yeah. Hey, look. Luis. Luisito still looks active.
James, I told you about my James reveal at the bar. This guy is like, I'm Columbia, baby. And I'm like, oh, James Rodriguez, he's still playing. He goes, yeah, man plays for Real Madrid. I go, I don't think that's it. He got his phone out and in real time, I saw a man discover his hero plays for Minnesota. Come on, dog. He hasn't played for Madrid in ages. Yeah, he hasn't played for Minnesota FC in ages. He's played for Edmonton in between. I was just like, that's what's fun about these sort of like, it's like the good and the bad of the World Cup. So I was like, I'm into it. I have no idea what I'm talking about. I love it, man. Yeah, Real Madrid. You're like, no, buddy. No. That sort of superficial banter worked for 10 years ago.
Okay, like literally 10 years ago. Messi, Barcelona, baby. He's like, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. You know, he's, yeah, he plays for Barcelona still, right? No? Oh, shit. I don't know anything. Is that Ronaldo? I don't know where you were going. Yeah, I didn't know either. I was trying to be that guy. Where do I go from here? It's another team. Sorry, I had to really get in there and shit the bed myself. The other thing too, Uruguay crashed out. South Korea crashed out as well. There are problems for that. Some backlash. So, first of all, in South Korea, the president, he was like, I am, quote, baffled at the performance that we just saw.
He is calling for a fucking inquest. I love it. I love an inquest. Yeah. It's an inquest. And you have to use the word inquest. We don't use that in America. That's a very English thing. There is an inquest. There is an invested Gatsione going into, he's against it, utterly baffled by the results, came after the FA and like the larger like department of sports to be like, we spent all this fucking money for what?
Yeah. And purple jerseys, dog. Once they came out in the fucking lavender joints. Yeah. No one's ever won anything big in lavender. In lavender? No, no, no, no. Yeah, Human Son was like, hey, man, look. We're playing at Monterey in lavender? They already talk crazy. This ain't it.
This ain't it. You should have known. You should have known. But yeah, the Ministry of Culture, Sport, and Tourism is... Everyone's getting written up right now. Son was like, hey man, please, just please don't come after us, the players. Trust me, we're all fucked up about this. He's like, I wanted this more than anything. I can't even believe it happened. If you can... Why don't you live in Venice now? If you can, please just support us. Okay? And don't rip our heads off. He just went on July 4th, maybe. Yeah, and then you see the McDonald's ad of him doing the picture frame with Grimace?
Nah, you need to hear about this, bro. Yeah, that is true. You're doing the picture frame with Grimace? You are doing the picture frame. Telling me to lay off? Grimace. Grimace the big purple monster. Oh, that's the name of the purple monster. I'm more of a Hamburglar fan. Do they not have Grimace in the UK? They do Grimace, but I mean, you know. I could see him not. The thing is, we don't use the word Grimace in the US, so it can be an abstract name in America, because we have such a limited vocabulary. You'd be like, why would they name that Grimace? Yeah, Grimace. Is he grimacing?
Hamburglar is one of the best named characters. It's one of the best part of going. And you can't have that. He burgles. And he likes hamburgers. Hamburglar. First pitch was ham robber. It didn't really make any sense. And someone was like, dude, we need to tidy up this name. Hamlik. That's what they hit him first with. Oh, also, I was going to say, have you noticed a lot of the U.S. chants, they're taking from Arsenal chants? It feels like, I'd imagine there are a lot of U.S. Arsenal fans that are also U.S. national team fans. And they're kind of bringing in some of the chants because they reworded the Eze chant for Baligan.
Where they said, bro, they said, no. No. He says, you can hear him. Oh my God. Nobody's crying over Balogun. It's like, it's good that he's doing well, but I don't think any other country he could have played for. You can hear him crying at Big Ben. Flo Balogun scores again. One girl from Pochettino. He said, wow, fuck off, England. I'm a Yankee now. It's good. I love, you can hear him cry. For people who don't know, the song for Eberecheze from the Gooners is, you can hear him crying at the lane. Ebereche scores again.
But like, you can hear him crying at Big Ben. That's nuts. Dipshit American thinking, what's going to rhyme here? Big Ben, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You can hear him crying at Big Ben. He might be crying in Nigeria. I don't think England's crying over Balogun, bro. No. Not when they have Harry Kane. The hell? Yeah. But who knows? You know, maybe Balogun will have a big match. I mean, he's on three goals. Yeah. But trust me, I've walked around Big Ben on my visits and I've yet to see. Not a tear. And I'm weeping. America instead. Does anybody cry when they see Big Ben? Period? That's not what it was. In tears immediately. Upon first sight. It's on sight.
The Swiss just loving timepieces. It's the biggest thing that you love. They probably talk shit about the movement. It's like a watch but giant. They're like, what kind of movement? This is not Swiss movement that's moving the watch we love. We're very serious about timepieces. The one thing they're not neutral about is... Yeah, yeah. No, no. Timepiece technology. And we're keeping the gold. You don't get it back. It doesn't matter. They gave it. They left it here. So it's ours. Switzerland is like one of the few countries in today's more nearer you can do an impression of and have no ramifications. Everybody loves it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so neutral. It's like... They're so neutral and have so many guns. And they're very rich. They're like a bizarre version of us. Okay. You know what I mean? They've got the blammies. Swiss gun ownership.
It is one of the highest civilian gun ownership rates. And they love suites. Good point. We love suites. You can go full auto with it. You don't even need a 3D printed switch for your Glock. Why is there never any shootings in Switzerland? I think social safety nets. Low poverty inequality because it's also the most fucking expensive. So goddamn expensive. Also low-key cool with immigrants coming. Are they?
I mean, according to the roster, hey. That's true. That roster, look, immigrant-friendly. Everyone's roster is immigrant-friendly when it comes to winning the World Cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? They're stealing children in some instances to be like, get that Brazilian motherfucker over to Saudi Arabia now. Oh my God. You've just got to, if you're trying to emigrate in the future, you've just got to get into football. That's really the golden visa if you really want one. So yeah, anyway, sorry, the South Korean president, not happy. Uruguay, they crashed out. They came over on a chartered jet, okay? Like any national team. But after that defeat, I will play the AUF.
Uruguay's soccer federation has canceled the charter flight set to take players from their base camp in Mexico back to their capital city of Montevideo. According to the Uruguayan broadcaster, Tenfield, players will instead be left to take commercial flights either home or to vacations with their families. They really just said, you're on your own mother. That fucking jet, it ain't happening. So either you have a vacation or you can come home if you want, but not on our fucking dime, not after that shit. Damn, dog had to fly Frontier back to Uruguay. Yeah, man. And the commercial flight's back.
Guys are giving you shit on a commercial flight. Can you imagine? You're sitting first class on a commercial flight. Everybody's walking by you like. Someone in a Spain jersey. Got the Cape Verde on. Yeah, they won't give you peanuts or whatever. You know if the cabin staffer you're going there, you're getting charged extra for your backhand. Oh, yeah, yeah. Every bet that has to go under, mate.
It's just a fanny pack. It has to go under. This is a bagel I got in the airport. No, we have to check that. We have to check that, sir. You need to take that to the jet bridge and tag that, sir. I'm eating it. I don't care, sir. That could throw the weight off of the entire plane. We're not messing around, sir. Tag that shit. You can claim it at the gate when you get out. So stupid. It'll be smushed under one of the strollers. Sir, let me see if I can put that bagel in this little grid. It's too big. It's a tiny bagel. 16 by 14. That's not what I see. That's not what I see. That wasn't what I saw when I was fucking up up there in fucking America.
Oh, so now you know how to look at something. In the case of an emergency and you play for the Uruguayan team, jump out a fucking window, mate. Yeah, yeah. If you're looking for any cowards, you're sitting right here, got some holes in the back. Spin on them on your way if you want. The exit road talk? Are you gentlemen capable of winning a World Cup match? No? That's what I thought. They're coming through with coffee during the service, just spilling it on all of them. I'm sorry we have turbulence. That's crazy. I fear for Darwin Nunez. You know if any of them try and put their chair back, just like an inch?
They're gonna come like, sir, I need you to put your seat up. They're like, are we landing? No, no, but you can't. You need to put your seat up. Oh, God. So, yeah. They actually send Luis Suarez to bite a chunk out of everyone's neck. They line him up. They're like, who's getting it first? Volunteer right now. Volunteer. They got him. Luis Suarez on a leash. Fucking naked and shit. They got him on a truck chain. Like those African gangs that got hyenas and shit. All right. Who's that? Come on. Who's that first?
Either one of y'all getting it or all y'all getting it. Who's it going to be? They'll be charged with a mazelon. Yeah, yeah. Just foaming at the mouth. They're like, what kind of makeup? He's like, bro, he's not been right since he went to Miami. This is how he comes back in trains. And listen, it's too bad that he doesn't have two working legs. I know. Because he might have helped them. I know. He's on all fours because he's become a quadruped. He has no leg. He has to be a quadruped. Literally crawling for inner Miami. Every time I see him run, I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no. Okay.
Any other things? Shit, I don't even remember, man. Honestly, I've been drunk since I came here. I'm watching it with them Brazilians, man. They got me fucked up. I was at Boom Tower, Boom Tower Brewery in the Arts District, Little Tokyo, which was interesting. I'm in Little Tokyo with the Brazil watch party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, my guy, I'm with the homie, the Brazilian homie, Thiago. Thiago. Who is just like nervously drinking. Who is this guy? How do you know him? This is my girl's co-workers.
Husband. Love it. Oh, and she's like, do you, does Jamel know about, Tiago need to get the fuck out the house? Yeah, I'm like, yes, let's fucking go. We locked in. And yeah, he just kept handing me beers. I love, as I said to you guys before, it's like, I read a tweet and it's like, the World Cup is just two billion of the world's biggest alcoholics. Just bonding. It's lovely. Flourishing. Absolutely. Was he buzzing when they won? Of course. The first time he's like, I'm going to fucking kill myself. This shit always fucking happens. I'm tired of this shit. Winter comes. He's got the flag on like a cape. He's like, I knew it the whole time. Never doubted my country. I've done nothing but drink beer and eat cheese and bread all day.
It's the best. That's the American. That's what I'm loving. I was just going with a bunch of fans from that country. This guy showed me footage of... It's American. He went down to K-Town for the Korea-Mexico game. And he showed me... It was the park I went to that had 25 people in from Morocco, Brazil. I said, how many people are in that park? 10,000. He said 10,000 in the park. He said, couldn't get into a single bar. He had to watch the game on a TV screen in a juice shop window. Yes. Crazy. He's like 10 people deep. And he says, mainly Mexicans are watching it there rather than Koreans.
you couldn't get on a cab or anything you had to walk for like three miles to get like this is LA bro I love it I was working during the game I really wish I could have watched that one of those like um underground gambling rings in the back of a laundromat oh yeah there's so many of those bars you go into and they're like you can smoke cigarettes in here it'd be funny karaoke on while the game's on yeah yeah someone sings the commentary for the whole thing just someone just like half dead doing karaoke two-stepping while they're watching the game smoking cigarettes um all right let's take a break we'll come back we'll just preview some of the other knockout round matches that are coming up uh along with A really fucking weird controversy from La Liga after this.
And we are back. Let's take a look at what remains now. I'll just bring up this image, if I may, of the knockout rounds. Knock them out. Knock them out the box, Miles. Knock them out the box. We've just seen Brazil advance. They will meet the winner of Cote d'Ivoire versus Norway. Who do you got in that one? I just think Holland is just on fire. I think that's my it. It's going to be tough. Brazil's got the center backs to deal with him. Gabby and Marquinhos can handle that guy. Exactly. That's true. They're like, oh, him?
I think Norway will be Cote d'Ivoire and then... I just think Brazil I just don't think Brazil are it you know what I mean I think the winner of this game is actually was going to make final eight that's what I thought between Brazil and Japan I thought they were destined for a final eight so then England and Congo will be tough I think England will win Mexico and Ecuador also a tough game both teams used to play Ecuador play altitude as well don't they oh yeah so them and Mexico both at altitude and then if England advance we have to play at altitude against one of those teams that's going to be a tough game as well it's a tough route for the old three lions but I you know naked patriotism I think they'll end up playing Brazil or Norway in the next game and I'm going to say Brazil they're used to the heat but the norwegians have brought their own food just below that come on bringing your own food is smart as fuck man you got to one trip to hardy's and boys will be dead oh yeah they're not ready they're not ready for that uh in the lower quadrant argentina cape verde i feel like this one ends up with maybe potentially colombia argentina yeah do you think there is there a chance for someone to upset argentina at all i mean like they cape verde weirdly i think i'm gonna have more of a chance than they just seem like they're like i don't care if you want a fucking world cup true we're fucking nasty bro i don't know what the fuck's going on with us but we we're not i mean it's switzerland sitting in there switzerland's gotta like their chances yeah yeah yeah
Switzerland could definitely get there too. I think Colombia, they look good. They look really good. Yeah, honestly. Yeah. On the other side, it felt like we're thinking maybe a French-Netherlands type of situation to emerge from there. And then that lower quadrant, what are we thinking? Spain? US? I think US quarterfinals was my pick. I don't know, man. I could see us losing this Bosnia game. Yeah, big boys. The goalie situation. Sure, it's freeze, but I haven't seen any of them stop a shot.
But that's the song, I Believe. I Believe That. No, don't do it, Miles. You're hanging out for it. You're hanging out for it. I haven't seen it how many times. They're fucked up on, like, English Twitter. They're just side-by-siding U.S. chants with other country shit. The one I've seen the most of was, like, the most high-hearted where they're like, and that's the way we like it. We like it. We love it. And it's, like, 14 people doing it. And then they'll show, like, the, like, Brazilian League 2 team from, like, Recife. And they got, like, a full drumline. Everybody's, like, fucking rapping and shit. I'm like, that's not fair.
Those people don't have drums. Those white people didn't have drums, okay? That's a full fucking band. That's a little bit off. There was no expectation for these white people to ever know drums. I'm going to say, that's not an apples to apples situation here. That was like a weird fan zone event. These are people who have their shit together. Nah, but they need some Glee. They're going to be some Glee level singing. They're going to come on full music. Get some musical theater kids into it. Andrew Lloyd Webber. It should be this. It should be more soul stuff. It should be more like how sweet it is to be, you know? It's like they need HBCU culture to infiltrate. Yes. Because then once you have one of those bands, then it's like... And only a black goalkeeper can make this happen. Ooh. Okay. That's what I think. Now, who is that?
I have no idea who that is or where it is. Where is that kid? No clue. You? Hello? I mean, I'm six feet. I'm six foot even. Yeah, you got a good wing. I'm springy. Turner? You don't even know which man it was. Doesn't matter. See? I think, listen. Yeah, I feel like in Belgium, I mean, Belgium is so weird. Belgium, we talked about being extremely pale. Pale. Pale. But they got in the sun. They got a little cheeky. They got a little sun. No, they finished off strong. They got Leandro Trossard. That group was fucking the opposite of death. Yeah. Group of parole. Group of life.
Roll. Portugal, do you think between, are they getting past Croatia? There was some joke I saw. We'd love it if Modric and the guys did it to him, but they're right. Maybe one more round for Portugal. Someone, they're like, oh man, like people, like people don't realize how easy Portugal's path is because they're going to play Croatia and then fly straight home. Wow. I mean, having to play Ronaldo if they just don't play him. That's, yeah. If they just don't play him. He is the, he is the president. He's the.
He's got the Mbappe chokehold on it. Everyone's scared of him. And I'm sure they're also like, brother, thank God this is the last one for this motherfucker cut to the next one. He's like, why are you scared of him? He's on all fours too because his body's gone at that point. He's like flipping, what's that succession? What's the dad in that called? The TV show succession. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brian Cox. Fuck off. He's like, why aren't you dead old man? It's my business. You're crazy. They cannot wait. They cannot wait. They cannot wait. Also, this is completely not World Cup related, but I read the wildest shit.
about uh the atletico madrid uh player did you have you have any of you seen this shit this is crazy uh so yeah mateo ruggieri he plays for atletico uh he's a defender he was just exposed allegedly in a scam where he's been paying this woman to send him like blasphemous and racist voice messages like that he gets off on he pays her for these she put him on blast he's like this motherfucker pays me to say stuff about like fuck god like oh he's like into like truth when i say blasphemous like out there he's trying to hear her Just desecrate the name of thy Lord God. Oh my God. Same stuff like, now send me one about how you hate people like immigrants from this country or that country, how they're dirty. And then he'll send messages back where he's like getting off. It's crazy. I was like, this is the wildest L scandal to be. I have no, I just couldn't believe what I was reading.
Were you also getting turned on? Is that what it was? You got a little... You got a little... Nipples got a little red. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I got some inspiration. I got some inspiration of what I want to hear in a voicemail. I got a dry erase board happening in my head. That is such a weird vocal. Like, say bad stuff about God. It's like, mate, why don't you just watch Kill Tony? Yeah, baby. It's free and available for you. You don't have to pay a woman to do it. Yeah. So just get a Netflix subscription. Yeah, it's fine. It's on his voice, bro. It's up there. It's a little feminine. You like that shit? Yeah. Get that, bro. Don't pay this lady. You know he tried.
yeah he was trying for a while he's like shit man i gotta i gotta venmo this lady yeah it ain't hitting right i wonder if like she had like a regular like of or something he's like hey this is gonna kind of yeah because how do you build up to that are you down to like insult god and commit blasphemy in a voice note yeah for like 200 a clip 120 euros a clip okay it's a weird it's a weird career for her though she's obviously like packed it up but like that's weird how are you are you paying your rent well um and this guy genuinely just jerking off to it could ruin this lady's life with just foul audio of her yeah but she's released she's released what she just kiss and tell i don't know if it's kiss and tell it's I don't know what it is. A lot of people are like, the person who's putting the, like, story out there is also, like, kind of a shady dude who's been, like, found, like, he has, like, his own, like, extortion scandal. Okay. So I don't know if it could be, like, one of those things where he was, like, I wonder if it's one of those things, like, hey, bro, you know your girl? I've been talking to her about those voice notes. So what's up with it? You gotta, where's the bag at? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna need it. I'm gonna need it. And he was probably like, man, fuck you. Yeah, I'm paying her 120 a piece. I'm gonna give you 40 grand. Yeah. How much do you reckon it costs per?
That's not something I would want to do. I think it was 120 euros. Oh, that's so cheap. 150. 150. 150. Okay. It's basically like the black web version of a cameo. Yeah. Hey, can you just give me a shout out in it? Just talk about how much you hate the guy upstairs. Those people from that country. Hey guys, just want to say. Just get like Steve Urkel doing it. Like you're like charging 150 or whatever. I'm trying to which celebrity would do that. That'd be funny though to go on cameo. But hey buddy, can you send me a little. Apparently like using like blasphemous language is like.
A lot of the write-ups are saying, in Italian, that's like the worst shit. Oh yeah, it's worse than the racist stuff. In Italian, yeah. Which is so funny. That tracks. Like, just calling God a dog and shit is just like, yo, you're getting a one match banned if they catch you for that shit. It's also crazy. This guy, who was the person who was bringing out the scandal, Fabrizio Corona, well known to the world of Italian football, having been jailed for effectively trying to blackmail clubs and players with photographs of their behavior off the field. He was also found guilty of defamation against Mauro Icardi when he was at Inter and made broad claims during the betting scandal of 2023 and 2024 that never panned out.
So I'm like, this guy is sloppy as fuck, bro. He's a good business. I mean, that's a good business. Probably pretty easy to just keep. He's got a few open accounts at all times. Knowing this era we're in and this guy's history, like this, this is, look at the dude, this is the guy making the claims. That's bad news. Yeah, he's bad news. He looks like he's on Italian Google. Look at that, what the fuck is his tattoo? What? He's on Italian Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google.
All right, nothing else. We've hit the city business. We already got to a blasphemous text for... The game 10 minutes in. Morocco's on right now. What happened? What's the score? No, no, I'm just saying. It just started. Okay, great. Well, we're going to skedaddle on out of here. Thank you for joining us this week. We're going to be back as the matches get... The stakes get even higher somehow. And we're going to get closer to learning who's going to win the World Cup. Even closer. Is it coming home? Should I pick England? Now that Japan's out? Don't do that.
I mean, you are the most English man I know. That is true. That is true. Come on. Join the party. Yeah. I like countries with a problematic past of colonialism. Yeah. In England. Yeah. Shit. You know what? It's coming to someone's home. I'm one of the three lions, baby. I'm one of them. All right. We'll see you next week. Jamel, anything to plug? Fresh produce. July 7th. So this coming Tuesday at Blind Barber in Highland Park. Free comedy show. 9 p.m. Do not be scared of the start time. I'm plugging just any bar in L.A.
And I'll see you there. See me there. See me there. Where are you going to watch the next England match? Where are you going to watch the Congo match? Well, it's at nine in the morning. And then, so there's talk of going to the Fox and Hounds, but I do have to, I have to do, I have to go to my writing job in the day. But there was a talk of my friend was like, well, you could watch the second half and maybe I've got to zoom in. There was like, maybe you could just have the zoom off. It doesn't really work. Chris, why can't I see your face?
Have you ever tried to go full blackout on World Cup, man? What, just like? To watch it later? Oh, no, I can't. Because your phone's going to blow up. I can watch almost all the game. Until work. So I'll be doing it. And then you show up and they're like, are you drinking? Yeah, I'm drinking in my house. I split the G, though. Perfect. All right, well, find them there. Find us everywhere. Make sure you like, subscribe. This ain't YouTube. Subscribe to this shit. Get somebody else to subscribe. Tell them this is the most unhinged podcast you've ever heard about soccer. And we'll see you next time. Bye-bye.